FUN HOME MusIC BY BOOK AND LYRICS JEANINE TESORI LISA KRO’ BASED ON THE GRAPHIC NOVEL BY ALISON BECHDEL SAMUEL FRENCH ACTING EDITIONA NEW BROADWAY MUSICALCommitted ond Lifegame. Nancy Gibbs, Marcia Goldberg end Nina Essman ace Mint MM THEATRIGALS (PRODUCER) under the direction of founders Arny Granet an Steve Traxler, manages subscription series in 30 cities throughout North America end has produced more than 40 shows on Broadway, winning seven Tony Awards along the way ELMAN WHETHEY (PRODUCER) ‘ott Delman, a private equity investor ‘who cait shake the habit of investing in new musicals, and Ken Whitney, a retired senior managing director of Blackstone. He and his wife Liz former actress are active supporters ofthe arts ARISTIN CASKEY (PRODUEER) is President of Fox Theatricals, With partner Mike Isaacson, Broadway credits include I’Then; Bring It On; Red (Tony -Avrard) Legelly Blonde (London's Olivier Award); Thoroughly Modern Mille (ony Avward)s One Flew Over the Cuckoot Nest (Tony Award); Death ofa Salesman (Tony Award); The Seagull: night, Mother: Caroline, or Change. (Off Broadway/National Tour: Traces. For the IPN; Kinky Boots (Tony Award), ‘Matilda, Kristin programs the Broadway Series at The Fabulous Fox Theatre St Louis, is « member ofthe Independent Presenters Network and oa the Executive Commitice and Board of Governors for the Broedway League Proud Mom to Miles. MIKE ISAAESON (PRODUCER) Isaacson coleeds Fox Theatrical with Keistin Caskey. ‘They have produced more than 20 Broadway musicals and plays, national tours, Ot-roadway plays and London productions. Highlights ide If Then; Bring It On: The Mu th ofa Salesman (1999 Tony ‘Award, Best Revival): Caroline, or Change; Legally Blonde the Musical (2011 Olivier Award, Best Musical); Traces: Thoroughly Modern Millie (2002 Tony Avrard, Best Musical); and Red (2010 Tony Award, Best Play). Isaacson is also the artistic director and executive producer of the MUNY, Americee legendary outdoor theatre in St. Lous, Migsou, now in its 97¢h season, ‘THE PUBLIC THEATER is ‘only theater in New York that produces Shakespeare, ‘musicals, contemporary and experimental pieces in equal measure. The Public continues the work of its founder, Joe Papp, by acting a an. advocate for theater as an exsent cultural force and leading and framing dialogue on some ofthe most important issues of our day. The Publics ‘ide range of programming includes free Shakespeare in the Park, new and experimental stagings and a range of atist and audience development initiatives including Public Forum, Mobile Unt, Publie Stadio and Public Works. The Publicis the recipient of 42 Tony Awards, 164 Obies, 45 Drama Desk Awards, 36 Lortel Awards, 28 Outer Cites Circle Awards, four Plitrer Prizes, wwwpublictheaterorg CHARACTERS ALISON 43 years old. a cartoonist MEDIVH ALISON 19 years old. a college freshman SHALL ALISON around 9 years old BRUCE BECHDEL Alison’ father HELEN BECHDEL Auson’ mother CHRISTIAN BECHDEL Alisons brother around 10 years old SOHN BECHDEL Alison’ brother, around 6 years old ROY « young man Bruce hires todo yard work school junior PETE @ mourner BOBBY JEREMY and THE SUSAN DEYS imaginary television characters the roles of Roy Mar, Pt and Boby Jeremy are performed by he same acto. The Swan eps ve played the errs plying Madam sor andar SONGS. ITAL COMES BACK (OPENING) WELCOME TO OUR HOUSE OW MAPLE AVENUE COME TO THE FUN HOME HELEN'S ETUDE PARTY DRESS CHANGING MY MAJOR MAPS RAINCOAT OF LOVE PONY GIRL RING OF KEYS DAYS AND DAYS TELEPHONE WIRE EDGES OF THE WORLD FLYING AWAY (FINALE)Music Copright © 2014 by Jeane Tesori Book and Lyres Copyright © 2014 by Lis Kron Ali Rights Reserved FUN HOME is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United Sates of America, the British Commonwealth, including Canada, and all other countries of the Copyright Union, All ight, including, but not limited to, profesional end amateur sage productions, recitation lectucing, public reading, motion pictur, radio broadasting, television andthe rights of ranslatien into foreign languages ar strict reserved ISBN 978.0878-704529 wen SemnelFrench.com verwSam uelFrench-Ldn co.uk Fox Propuction ENQUIRIES INETED STATES, AUSTRALIA, AND New ZEALAND Info@SamuelFreach.com 1-866-598-8449 Unrrep KeepoM AND IRrLAND Plays@SamuelFreneh-London,co.tk 020-7258-1302 ach tein aabject to avaabiliy from Samuel French, depending upon Jountry of performance. Please be avate that FUN /OME may not be icened by Samuel French in your territory. Professional and amateur Producers sould contact the nearest Same! French office or censing parwoer to verify svilabiiy CAUTION: Profesional and amateur producers are hereby warned that FU HOME is subject a licensing fee, Publication ofthis musical stage play does not imply availability for performance, Both amateurs and professionals considering a production ae strongly warned to apply to Samuel French before starting rehearse, advertising, or booking a theatre, A licensing fee mast be paid whether the tile i presented for charity or gain and! whether or not admission is charged. Profestonal/ Stock licensing fes are quoted upon application to Samuel French, No one sll make any changes in his musical stage play for the purpose of production. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored im 2 retrieval stem, or tranemitzed i any form, by any means, ow known for yet wo be invented, ielading mechanical, electronic, photocopying, ofthe publishes. No one shall upload this ile, or part of thistle, to any secial media websites For all enquiries regarding motion picture, television, and other media rights, please contact Sant! French, IMPORTANT BILLING AND CREDIT REQUIREMENTS ter securing pecformancerights to this tide, please refer to your lensing agreement for portant bing and credit requirements PLEASE NOTE: ‘FUN HOME was developed in pat, at the 2012 Sundance Institute Theatre [ab at White Oak and the 2012 Sundance Institute Theatre Lab at che "The world premiere praduction of FLV HOME was produce by The Public Theater (Oskar Busts, Artiste Diretor; Patrick Willingham, Executive Director {In New York City on September 50, 2018,‘Adult ALISON enters and crosses to her drawing table. Next to the table, on the floor, is a battered cardboard box. She rummages around inside of it, looking for something to draw. She finds a ring of keys. She arranges it on her table, picks wp her ‘en, and begins to draw ‘Music én, Enter SMALL ALISON, ‘SMALL ALISON, Dads, hey Day, cme here, choy? T need you, What are you doing? I said come here! ou nen todo what I tll you todo List o me Daddy! Come here, hey right her, right mows you'e mahing me mad. Listen 10 me Lisen to me Listen o me wanna play ainplane wanna play airplane {wanna play airplane I wanna pul my arms out and fly Like the Red Baron in his Sopwith Camel! No wait~ = the Superman up in the ay ‘Ti Tcan stall of Pexngyloania BRUGE enters with two battered cariboard boxes, BRUCE. Hey, gimme a hand. ALISON. (Remembering this encounter) Right, right, right. SMALL ALISON, What'd’ja get, Daddy?Homz BRUCE. It’s from Clyde Gibbon’s barn, What a haul, He said, “Take what you want,” and I said, “You sure, Clyde?” He said, “It's all junk to me,” $0 Isaid, “Alright, Clyde, alright.” Come here. Look, ‘Small Alison looks on as he combs through the box. You go to auctions, yard sales, comb the dump and crap, there's crap, there's crap, there’ He pulls out a wrinkled clump of cloth. An! What's this? SMALL ALISON, More crap? BRUCE. (Rapturously inspecting the wadded fabri.) No~ Linen This is.inen Gorgeous Irish nen See hw I can tet? Fight he, hs ating hed, ou set That what makes it domask And th wig, the wiht, ts dap ‘nd the pater, crisp ad cor Se how is wade fm mati ad shine 1S tated he tal thers Hes butt Hou ine Okay okay... What ese? cap. cup. Dead mouse SMALL ALISON. Ooh, can I have it? BRUCE. I's all yours. What's this? He pulls grey metal coffee pot from the box. Sitar Ist. ir? 1s junk rset FUN HOME Wit posh ae cam tt Tove how tarnish mais a0 opening to luster And the mark, is there @ mark? 1s this stamp, you se right here? Thats how the craftsman leaves sign ‘hat he was here and made hs work 40 beautiful, so fine ‘This has traveled continents to gt here And cossed an ocean of time ‘And somehow landed inthis box under a layer of grime Lean’ abide mantic notions of some vague “ong ago” want 10 how whats true ig deep into who ‘and what ond why and when, ‘until now goes tay to then ALISON. Did you ever imagine J'¢ hang on to your stuff, Dad? Me neither. But I guess T always knew that someday I was going to draw you. In cartoons, Yes, Dad, Tknow you think cartoons are silly, but I draw cartoons, And I need real things to draw from because I con't, ‘rust memory, Re: an identical metal coffee pot she's taken from her box. ‘Eu god, this thing és ghast ou were so ecstatic wn you found it ata yard sale No, m0, wall Ja Mt Gibbons barn ‘sal comes back, tall comes bac, itll comes back There's you ‘And tere’s me ‘Bus nc Tm the ne who's forty-three and stick Tec tfind my way though stk yeu ‘Am just the you?FUN HOME ALISON. sauce. A sign thot he was fre Tean't abide romantic notions of some vogue “long ago” and made his work ALISON & BRUCE. {want to now what's tru, dig dep ina eho ‘nd what and ohy and when, anna gies wey to en All the characters who will make up this story (i.e, Alison's memaris) swoop in and assemble ‘he Bechdel house while singing various “lala's” 4s Alison, Small Alison, and Bruce sng: SMALL ALISON, BRUCE, ALISON, Daddy, hey day What true What is true come hat, okay? T Oh reed you, What areyou This has doing? I said come he traveled to J wanna play pthew plane So beautifid Tanna play Twanna play ciple airplane Tanne play cipplane Twanna play Beautiful is airplane hati rue What is rue ‘Bruce lies onthe ground and pushes Small Alison up ino a game of airplane, Overjoyed, she laughs 4s she fies, ALISON. Caption: My dad and I were exactly alike. SMALL ALISON. I see everything! ALISON. Caption: My dad and I were nothing alike. SMALL ALISON. I'm Superman! ALISON. My dad and I... My dad and I. Bruce's attention shifts and he unceremoniously duamps Small Alison back down to the floor and site, FUN HOME SMALL ALISON. Daddy come back: ALISON. Caption: Sometimes my father appeared to enjoy having children, but the real object of his affection was his house JOHN and CHRISTIAN are playing with blocks and trucks. HELEN is practicing piano, Bruce rushes in with big news. BRUCE. I just got a call from Eleanor Bochner! Allegheny Historical Society! She was calling about the house tour! HELIN. Oh, that's wonderful! BRUCE. (Suddenly panicked.) She's on her way over right now, I'm not sure what to do. This place is turned upside-down... I'm not dressed. HELEN, (Taking the sitwation in hand.) Go take a shower. BRUCE. But- HELEN. Take a shower, get yourself ready. Bruce exits, Kids? An important lady is on her way over here to see the house~ Listen to me, please~ This is one of those times you need to do what I say quickly and without any shenanigans, He wants the Hepplaohte suite chars back in the parlor ‘Move the GI Joe 1 can be onthe floor He wants the Dresden figurines back in the brealfrnt A slinky messes up the feriod dlcor Gat the lemon Pleige and dust the- ‘These should face the same diction He wonts i eacuumed The surface gaming He wonts it daser to the door Hewants- He wants Hewants-FUN HOME HELEN, (cont.) le wants the brass candelaa uo on engle ‘The crayons and the glue should go back in the drawer Hewwants the bust of Quote square on the mantel Sweep that int aay, it’s what a broom és for Gent wie the evcadprus Polish up the otal prisms When he comes dour here He wants tt mady We've got to gt it done before He wants He wants He wants- BRUCE. (Yelling from offsiage.) Where's my bronzing stick! HELEN. It’s in the- Door slam, ALISON, Wilcome to our house on Maple Avenue Set how we polish and we shine Wie rearrange and realign Everything is balanced and srene Like chaos never happens f t's never seen ALISON & HELEN, Boy need we antilpat and fi And si HELEN & SMALL ALISON. He wants the ral father duster used om the bokease HELEN & CHRISTIAN, Find all the books we ed and carefully restore HELEN & JOHN, Howants them alphabetied by classification HELEN. A wokume out of place could stort a thid world war HELEN & THE IDS, That's a inch out of potion Watch i, tha’ fist etion FUN HOME EEEN. What are mising? What have welt out? Whe he comes doom here what's in store? HELEN & THE RIDS, He wante- Fe wants Hewants- Bruce reenters in a suit and tie and inspects the now tidy house. HELEN, CHRISTIAN, BRUCE. ALISON de SMALL JORN. ALISON, Welcome ‘nour hows 2 Welome Maple Avenue #5 our houseon Maple Avenue See how wwe pelish and te See hne shine wwe polish and we shine We rearrange drain We rearronge ond and raion ony thing is Bory and serene atonced thing is and serene talon and serene Like chaos never Like hens if its chars ner Like nce seen hapten it's chars never river eon happens if it's WHOLE FAMILY, Were a pial family quintetFUN HOME HELEN. Andy Bruce regards himecf in a mirror sauce. Not oo ba, if sy v0 mys might stil eck hea or too (Sudden burst of agitaion:) Somatinus the fire burs so ot 1 don’ Rd what Id, (Back to the mirror) Not oo bad, ifT sy so myself BRUCE & ALISON. Not to bad Bruce, composed and charming, greets the [unseen] Mrs. Bochner FAMILY, (perky but tense) BRUCE. Mrs, Bochner, pleasure to meet you, come on in! Det det. (Responding to her admiring swords about the house.) Thank you. Obviously still a work in progress, Oh yes, I've done all the work myself, That's how we're able to afford the Whats he aftr? place. No, no, historic Wha! are we dotng? restoration isan avocation, ig fot is apping but that’s very flattering T teach English at Beech Creek High, and the Bechdel Funeral Home, is our family business, So I'm also a funeral director. (Re: a piece she's noticed.) ‘That means he's stewing ‘Stay very stl and ‘maybe we'l please him ‘Make one wrong move ‘and demons wil sees him FON HOME, FAMILY. (cont) ‘BRUCE. (cont) iy hard, What ii You have a keen eye! This amid for? I found yesterday at the duinp. [.] Actually 1 believe Rococo Revival ALISON. (simu. with family) (Re: her request all comes bac take a picture.) al comes back. Absolutely. Would you like one with the family? FAMILY. Kids! Mrs. Bochner warts to He want fake a photo, He wants~ (Bruce and the Heoante- family pose for ‘photo.) ROY steps into the hows. He's young, handsome, ‘an dressed for yard work ROY, Anybody home? ‘The camera FLASHES, capturing Bruce posed with his family, and gazing at the young man, ALISON. (Taking in her father’s gave.) He wants mort Caption: My Dad and I both grew up in the sare small Pennsylvania town And he was gay, And Iwas gay. And he killed himself And I...became a lesbian cartoonist. SHIFT to MEDIUM ALISON in her dorm room, drawing. MEDIUM ALISON. (Re: her drawing.) [Not too bad, if ay 0 myself ‘This outshines the firs ene drew (Sudden burst of agitation:) lo noe whic way’s up Ton know what I'm suppose dat10 FUN HOME ‘MEDIUM ALISON, cont.) (ack to her drawing.) to bad Tsay 0 mse Phone rings. MEDIUM ALISON. Hello? BRUCE. Yes, I'd like to speak to Alison Bechdel, the college student? MEDIUM ALISON. Hi Dad, BRUCE. So? How's it going? How are your classes? How's your dorm? How’s the foo MEDIUM ALISON. I'm...getting used to it, BRUCE, A litle homesick? MEDIUM ALISON. No, it’s not that, it's jut,..stupid stuff, In Modern Classics today the professor told us that Jake's renewal in Spain in The Sun Also Rises is really an allusion to junglan rebirth, BRUCE. What MEDIUM ALISON. I almost screamed that’s bullshit BRUCE, That's bullshit! Jake's not a symbol he's Hemingway! ‘That book is a romanaclef, MEDIUM ALISON, I know! And at dining yesterday I mentioned that my family runs a funeral home and everyone dropped their forks and stared at me lik was Norman Bates, ‘BRUCE. Typical MEDIUM ALISON. I probably just need to find the right People. There must be some people here who aren't total idiots. BRUGE. Or maybe not. One surprising thing you learn when you go away to college: people just aren't as smart as you want them to be. Trust your instincts, kid, You don’t necd to twist yourself in knots trying to impress people who are Not Worthy OF You. Got it? MEDIUM ALISON. Got it. Thanks, Dad. FUN HOME n BRUCE. Good. Alright, I gotta get over to the Fun Home, T've got a viewing in Forty-five minutes. MEDIUM ALISON, Who died? BRUGE. One of that big clan of Hofbruners over in Lakeview. ‘MEDIUM ALISON. Ah, Have fun, BRUCE, Will do, Hey kiddo- Remember what I said, okay? ‘MEDIUM ALISON, I will, Dad. Thanks. Bruce exits, Medium Alison opens her journal and writes, Alison reads over her shoulder: ALISON, “September 15, “Justhad a good talk with Dad and I feel so much better, (Undertine, underline, underline.) I'm going to spend four years reading books and drawing, And that’s fine 1 don't know where I got this insane idea I need to throw myself out into the world,” MEDIUM ALISON, It's not the “world” anyway; it’s Oberlin College! Medium Alison exits. ALISON. Wow. Thad no idea what was coming, SHIFT to the Fun Home, Bruce enters the casket showroom with PETE. He sees a dust rag, a can of Pledge, and a tape recorder on top of a casket and whishs them away, BRUCE. So sorry, the kids must have been cleaning in here. This isthe one we spoke about. Cherry. Quite popular, FETE, Alright. BRUCE, Why don’t we take these brochures into the office where you can think it over PETE, So you say we won’t see any of the bruises? With the LV.'s she was awful beat up by the end, BRUCE. No, no, we remove all the signs of trauma. Don't ‘worry, Pete. She'll look very peaceful, PETE, Thank you. Thanks, Bruce. BRUGE. Of course, Let'sIndicating they should move tothe office. PETE. (Re: the brochurs.) No, Tl, Il take these home. BRUGE. Sounds good. Take a look and give me a call later, (They shake hands.) Get some rest, Pete. PETE. Thanks, Bruce. Bruce ses him oud, then: BRUCE. Kids, get out of there. (Nothing) Now! Christian and Alison appear from the closed ends ofa casket, Where's John? John appears as well, ‘How many times have you been told Do Not Get In the Caskets, JOHN. We were making a commercial for//the Fun Home, SMALL ALISON, Shhh! EIRISTIAN, We're sorry, Dad. BRUCE. We've got two bodies, We've got work to do, ‘SMALL ALISON. My tur to do the directory! Who are they? BRUCE. (Handing her the directory letters.) Muriel Swartz. Dwight Johnson, ‘SMALL ALISON. Wait- Benny's dad? (GHRISTIAN. Benny's in my class! SMALL ALISON. What happened? BRUCE, He fell off a ladder, Broke his neck. Get this cleaned up, (To hirsey.) Its going to be a long night, John and Christian start to clean. Small Alison begins putting the names onto the directory board. FUN HOME CHRISTIAN, When you break your neck is it just like crack you're instantly dead? JOHN. Probably his head was hanging from his neck and then he couldn't see, and he couldn't eat or anything and then he died from not eating and running into things CHRISTIAN. That's not right SMALL ALISON. You guys, we gotta practice the commercial She fetches the tape recorder JOHN. Yeah, we messed it up before The kids all ty to grab the tape recorder SMALLALSON. JOHN, Iwant it. (CHRISTIAN, My turn! SMALL ALISON. (Sering her dad.) Shhh! Bruce crosses through, now wearing a gown and 4 surgical mash. The hids try to look innocent, He sotces and shoots them a look but heeps moving Srrough. When they're sure he’ gone they return bb their game. CHRISTIAN, Should we start at the top? SMALL ALISON, Yeah, GEMUSTIAN. Hold on, should we say Fun Home? We only call it that in the family? JOHN. Yeah, that’s right. SMALL ALISON, It’s our commercial. We can do what we want JORN. That's right too, (CHRISTIAN, I guess. SMALL ALISON. Come on! CHRISTIAN. Okay, okay! JOHN. (Into a fake megaphone.) Places everybody! They take their places Small Adlon turns on the tape recorder. ive it to me, sM“ TUN HOME SMALL ALISON, Fun Home commercial, Take seven million billion thansand, JORN, Your uncle did ou’ fing Tow You've goto bury your momma but you don’t Row wher to go Your pop neais his final rest You go ou got you got to gos them the bast Oh SMALL ALISON & CHRISTIAN, Comet the Fun Home JOEN. That’ the Bechdel Paral Home, baby SMALL ALISON & CHRISTIAN, The Bechdel Pun Home JOHN ‘Nat 1 Bakr’sDepartuent Sore THREE KIDS. in Beech Creek! SMALL ALISON & CHRISTIAN, ‘The Beda! Pun Home youn. We take dad ies xy day of th wk so THREE KIDS, Yb got no mason to am Use the Bache Panera Be What iis, what itis Jao hoo hoo What iis, what tis now baby SMALL ALISON/CHRISTIAN, JOHN, Sock tio me Sock ito me Sock tio me ‘Sock to me Sock it to me Ooh Sook it 0 ma Hrs come 6a judge Sock it 0, bay Hrs come da judg, baby FUN HOME 5 CHRISTIAN, Our casts SMALL ALISON & JOHN. ont CHRISTIAN, Am satin ined ‘SMALL ALISON & JOHN, Ook cansriaN, ‘And we get so many models puarante to Bre your mind You know our mourners ‘THREE KIDS. So satisfied CHRISTIAN. Thy tie they lik, they ke ‘THREE EMD. cur formaldeyde! ‘SMALL ALISON. Yeal! ‘THREE KMS, Hert atthe Pun Home cumustan, ‘That’ the Bechdel Puneral Home baby THREE KIDS, Come tothe Fen Home SMALL ALISON, Wie got homes and your choice of sal ‘THREE KIDS, ‘Stop by the Fun Home Think of Bechet when you ned o embalm You've got no reason t roam Use the Bechéel Pnral Home What iis, what tis hho hoo hoo Whos 1 wha is hoo hao16 FUN Howe, CHRISTIAN, ‘TA em what we got What ese have we got, Tio? What ese hav Smelling sats for if you're queasy! JOHN, Folding chairs that open easy! CHRISTIAN, ‘These are cool, you know what they are? Flags with magnets for your car! Joun. ‘These are wire and they hold flowers! ‘SMALL ALISON. Here's a sign for the names and the hours! (CHRISTIAN, Stand right here when you sign the book! JOHN, This is called an aneurysm hook! En garde! ‘THREE KIDS, Come tothe Fun Home Ane parking down the set Hore asthe Ben Home Body rep that can't be beat You'l like the Ren Home ‘Inoue hearse there’ a backwards sat! Thats why we made wp this oem Woe the Bechdel Funeral Home What itis, wht tic eo ha ho ‘What itis, what itis now baby ‘hoa! hoo! Boo! ‘Big fish: they fal tthe ground lke corpses. BRUCE, (Calling fom the embalming rom.) Alison, A beat Alison, would you come here, please? FUN HOME 7 GHRISTIAN, (Zncredulous.) Does he want you to go back there? SMALL ALISON, I- I guess. GHISTIAN. Why? SMALL ALISON, I don't know, BRUCE, (Getting crs.) Alison! ‘Small Alison enters the room where Bruce is at work on @ cadaver. She's never seen a dead body before, Hand me those scissors on the tray. ‘She hands him the scissors, then waits for him to give her more instructions. But he just heeps working, She has no idea what she’s supposed to o, SMALL ALISON, Is that all? BRUCE. What? Oh, yeah. ‘Small Alison leaves the embalming room and fetches her diary, She writes. Alison reads over her shoulder ALISON. “Dad showed me a dead body today.” ‘Small Alison mulls over what to write next. Then: “Went swimming, Got a new Hardy Boy book Had egg salad for lunch.” ‘Small Alison closes her journal an leaves. ‘What was that about, Dad? Why did you call me back there? Is that the way your father showed you your first dead body? Was it some Bechdel rite of passage? Or, ain 1 reading too much into this? Maybe you just needed the scissors, SHIFT to a door marked “GAY UNION.” ‘Medium Alison reaches for the doorknob then loses her nerve, JOAN breezes past her, casually giving her the lesbian mod.ue TON Hom, JOAN. Hey. | MEDIUM ALISON. What? Ob. Hey, | JOAN, Contin’ in? MEDIUM ALISON, Uh, no. Uh, German Club? | JOAN. Oh. Over there | MEDIUM ALISON, Thanks, Danke Joan exits into the Gay Union, Awash in ‘hamliation, Medium Alison fervently praye: Please god, don’t let me be a lesbian. Please don’t let me be a homosexual (FEA by afresh wave of humiliation.) ‘Oh my god, DankeP?F SHIFT to the yard where Bruce enters with a sapling and the three kids, conscripted as free labor, trailing behind, BRUCE, If we're careful this should blo weeks (Be Christian.) Hold thi (jon) | Gimme that shovel. (To Small Atison,) Where's the peat moss? SMALL ALISON, This bush came from som ‘That's illegal om in a couple | reone else's yard. [BRUGE. No one’s lived in that house for five years, nobody's. | ‘going to miss it. SMALL ALISON, Fine, ‘She brings him the peat moss. He pours it around the base cd pats it down, CHRISTIAN. Mom's back from play practice! ‘Helen enters, carrying bags from her rehearsal. FUN HOME, 19 SMALL ALISON. (Pulling a bag from Helen's arms.) Are these your costumes? HELEN, They are. JOHN. I wanna see! (CHRISTIAN. Me too! The Wids pull period dresses oe ofthe bags. BELEN, Careful, carefull ROX. (Entering.) Hey, everybody. Que pasa? The three bids sae up to him, shy but thrilled to 00 him, SMALL ALISON. Hi Roy. CHRISTIAN. ley Roy, what’s goin’ on? ROY. (Te John.) Hey, you look like a guy I met the other day, Are you that same guy? I know what he looked like upside down, He picks John up and turns him upside down as ‘ll three ids laugh and squeal with delight HELIN. Hello, I'm Helen Bechdel ROY. (Putting John dour to shake her hand) Ah, Mrs. Bechel, yeah, I'm Roy- sorry, [know who you are, my aunt and uncle talk about you all the time, they see your plays, they're crazy about you. They're always saying you're so much better than Irma Hornbacher HELEN, (Blushing.) Oh, No, Irma's wonderful BRUCE. Come on, you're in a different class (To Roy) I've seen a lot of New York theater, even by those standards she’s exceptional At he says this, he puts his hand on her shoulder in a gesture that only he and Helen notice is awkward. SMACL ALISON, Our mom's in a play called Mrs, Warner and the Professor!20 FUN HOME HULEN. Ms, Warren's Profession, SMALL, ALISON, She studied in New York with Uta Hagen. Do you know who that is? ROY. I don’t even know what you just said, BRUCE. Vianna get started? ROX. Sure, Whatever you want. Lemme get my tools. BRUCE. "kay ‘Roy heads out to his car, withthe three chattering Fis clinging to him. SMALL ALISON, Hey Roy, did you see Here Rides Again? CHRISTIAN. Oh, yeah! It's the best movie JOHN, Herbie isa cart ROY I didn’tsee it. JOHN. The Love Bug? You didn't see The Love Bug? Thon they're gone, Helen asks lightly HELEN. Who is that? Why is he here? BRUCE. I hired him. ELEN, To do what? BRUCE. To help me out. HELEN, Where is he from? BRUCE. When we went to the lumberyard last week he was there working for Arie, Kid has a truck, he does hauling. Arnie said he did a good job and he was looking for more work, HELEN. Oh, so he's just hauling. BRUCE. Hauling. Other things, I don’t know, HELEN, Oh, So... You're thinking he’s going to be working here, at the house? ‘BRUCE, What difference does it make? HELEN. I- I+ Ijust~ BRUCE. Arnie recommended him, okay? HELEN. Okay, I'm just, I'm trying to get a sense // of FUN HOME, BRUCE, Chrissakes! I know him. He was my student a few years back. Okay? What, do you think I'm bringing some bum around? Is that dhe bug up your ass? Christ The chattering group returns, JOHN. You know something else about the movie that's fanny? It's that the car is called the love bug, // It's a cas, but they call ita bug, Even though it's a car ‘BRUCE. (Monsiercharging the hs) Razah! ‘The Mas laugh and scream. Okay, that's enough. Come on, Roy, let's go inside. 111 show you that wallpaper. JOUN. CHRISTIAN, Aw! No, come ont ‘SMALL ALISON. But dad BRUCE. Enough! (To Roy) Buinch of little monster. Bruce and Roy leave. Helen watches them go. (CHRISTIAN. Mom, can we watch TV? HBLEN, Sure SHIFT to Ray and Bruce entering the library, Helen at her plano. The kids watch TV. ALISON. Tort o know uhat’s tus, Aig de into who and what nd why and when, cot now gies 0 0, ROY. Whoa, Nice room. BRUCE, So this isthe wallpaper: William Morris. The real deal. God, it's gorgeous. ROX. You read all these books? ‘BRUCE, Working on it. ROY. That isnot something I can imagine. a12 FUN HOME BRUCE. Yes, I remember from class you're not much of a reader. ROW. Nope. Read some good books in your clas, though. RUGE. My job isto make it interesting, Helen begins practicing an étude, ALISON. (Re: Bruce and Roy.) It's like 2 1950s lesbian pulp novel, “Their tawdry love could only flourish in the shadows.” ‘Small Alison wanders away from the TV to talk 10 her mom. SMALL ALISON. Ike Roy. He's funny. | Alison's tention shi to these two, HELIN, Alison find something to do. I'm practicing SMALL ALISON. (Peering at Helen's shee music.) Did Chopin write Chop Sticks? ‘HELEN. It's Sho-PAHIN. Alison stop bothering me. ‘Small Alison rejoins her brothers at the TV. BRUCE. Sit down, Take a load off Alison's attention shifts back to her dad and Roy. ROY. I been working, I'm disgusting, Don’t wanna sweat all over your nice stuff BRUCE. What are you talking about, it's furniture for chrissakes. Go ahead, Stretch out if you want. ‘Roy stretches out on the chaise ROY. This place is like a museum. (Noticing a carafe) What's that suff? BRUCE. Sherry. Want some? ROY. Is it good? BRUCE, Yeah, | ROY. Olay, sure, FUN HOME 28 Bruce pours them both a glass. remember this house before you moved in, We used. to ride our bikes over here when we were kids, You've done a shitload of work. BRUCE, I did. By myself, most of it ROY. You must be in good shape, old man, BRUCE, [Nok oo bad ify so myself might sill beak haar or tuo You'd be surprised at what « guy my age knows how to do He brings the sherry to Roy. Wantit? ROY. Yeah, BRUGE. (Holding the sherry back.) Unbutton your shirt. ROX. Is that your wife playing the piano? BRUCE. Don’t worry about her. Roy considers, decides, why the hell not, and ‘unbuttons his skirt, Bruce gives him the sherry. HELEN. (At the piano.) Ta ala la Helen stops playing. She stands. Then sits, and resumes playing. ‘Maybe not right now Maybe not right nom HELEN. BRUCE. Ialoh, J wan, Lwans, want L b ROY, Tienow Bhs ype this typeof married guy evuld just give him the sip but why Its nat a big dead Theva a wots meTUN Hot HELEN. Foy, BaUcE. ns. Twant Tin his J aba bab ‘ype Twat ‘hs ype of might st Team marred guy baba baba Teowd just aah @ Bb give him the heart a ba bab sip but thy Bs motor tuo big del, Thon! Lalas he wants Twont baba bo just dust ‘Meand hin “Mecnd kim ‘Me and him Meand hin Me and him Me and him ‘Me and him Meand him ‘Me and him SHIFT to: MEDIUM ALISON. Dear Mom and Dad, Thanks for the care package, I was running out of granola bars so It came right in the nick of time, They sella kind here that I swear is made of paste. | Joan enters and gives Medium Alison the lesbian nod, (Finishing her later) Nothing else worth writing home about (Har har) Al (To Joan.) Tan draw you some posters. JOAN. Nah, we need ’em tomorrow night MEDIUM ALISON. I'l doit right now, JOAN. Really? MEDIUM ALISON. Just some simple drawing, right? Sure. ‘She sits on her bed to sketch, So you want it to say... JOAN. We just need really good “No Nukes" posters. FUN HOME ‘MEDIUM ALISON. (Sketching) Right, okey, so something like maybe. JOAN. Oh, that’s funny. (Leaning in to look.) That's really good, MEDIUM ALISON. (Confident of her ability, but flustered by Joan's ‘nearness.) This? No. This is just quick and stupid, ‘Medium Alison continues to sketch. Joan looks around her room. JOAN, Who's this in the photo? ‘MEDIUM ALISON, My dad. JOAN. That's your dad? MEDIUM ALISON. Yeah, JOAN, He looks cool. Did he teach you how to draw MEDIUM ALISON, (Scoffs.) Definitely not, JOAN. Why's that funny? MEDIUM ALISON. t's not funny, it's just, he’s more, know, Idon't @isrissive cero.) Refined. JOAN. What does he do? MEDIUM ALISON. A bunch of things, actually. He's a house restoration, historical society kind of guy, he’s a high-school English teacher, he runs the // local JOAN. (Making a joke.) Did you get to be in his class? ‘MEDIUM ALISON. (Earnest) waa, yeah, JOAN. Really? ‘MEDIUM ALISON. Yeah, JOAN, Iwas joking, ‘MEDIUM ALISON. Oh. Oh. Yes. What I was going to say is that, everyone in Beech Creek at some point is in my dad's English class, and he’s known as a great teacher,TUN Home JOAN. Ob. Cool. MIDIUM ALISON, Yeah, He scads me Luuks, We talk about them, JOAN. He sends you books to read on top of your schoolwork? MEDIUM ALISON, Yeah, JOAN. That's a litde weird, ALISON, (Realizing.) Is that weird? That's really weird. ‘MEDIUM ALISON. Why? JOAN. I don't know. Like, what books? MEDIUM ALISON, Like, JOAN. Colette ‘MEDIUM ALISON. Yeah, ‘She hands her a book. JOAN, Your father sent you Colette? ‘MEDIUM ALISON. Yeah, Why? JOAN, I don’t know. It's just... He's like the opposite of my dad. He's just like sending you lesbian books? ‘MEDIUM ALISON. No! I mean, yes, I guess Colette was a lesbian but JOAN. Oh, she was MEDIUM ALISON. Okay, but he sent it to me because he thought I'd be interested in the whole Paris... Arts, Bohemian... Scene, JOAN. Yeah: but he didn’t send you a book about Toulouse- Latrec, he sent you Colette. I think it’s amazing that he’s cool with you being a dyke, MEDIUM ALISON, What? I don’t think so, JOAN. Ob, he’s not? MEDIUM ALISON. No, I don't know, Can we talk about something else? MEDIUM ALISON. Becaute- I have no idea how my parents feel about- I just figured it out myself JOAN, Oh, FUN HOME MEDIUM ALISON, About two weeks ago. JOAN, Huh, With wno? MEDIUM ALISON, With who what? ‘ALISON, (A wave of retroactive humiliation.) Oh god. JOAN. Who were you with? MEDIUM ALISON. (Clueless, then geting it) Nobody. Nobody! Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed. ALISON. (Fresh wave of retroactive humiliation.) Oh. god. MEDIUM ALISON. I was in a bookstore. JOAN. In a bookstore? Nice. MEDIUM ALISON. (Clueless, then getting i.) What? NO! Two ‘weeks ago I was downtown and I wandered into the bookstore, I was just browsing around and J picked up this book— JOAN. Ah, Word ts Out MEDIUM ALISON. And I was like, Ob, interviews. This looks interesting. And then I was like, These people are all~ (Suddenly worried she doesn't know the right word.) Uh. JOAN. Gay? ‘MEDIUM ALISON. Gay. Yes. And then Iwas like, “Oh my god! Tn ‘MEDIUM ALISON. JOAN. alesb~ a dyke ‘MEDIUM ALISON, Yes. A dyke, Yes. And I totally flipped out and shoved the book back onto the shelf and I left. And then I came back the next day and bought, the book. And then I came back the next day bought, all the other books in that section, And then T made myself go to the meeting at the Gay Union, And then, and then, it’s now, Hi, JOAN, Hello, (A beat, Then, re: Word is Out.) That's a powerful book.MEDIUM ALISON, It is, ar Sh. er seer You at the Union meeting tomorrow Twill come to the ish ‘em up, Alison, Joan exis. Median Alison collapses, face denn, onto the bed. Alison crumples as oc, SRUFT to Brus, dese in ase, holding apie Of patentleather Mary Janes as Small eon fear around ina awk fiting party doe ‘he's covered up with a boys bhi wat mocha, BRUCE. Ob no you don't Fait of ‘Small Alton grudgingly takes off the th Bruce retest sah OF he eine Look, you've mes ed thi up already. Where's your barrette? ° me Where's yo ‘Small Alison hands it oer: He puts it in her hatin ‘SMALL ALISON. Ow! BRUCE, Sneakers, ‘SMALL ALISON, Why?? ‘BRUCE, Because you're going to a parry (Holding out the Mary Janes.) Here, SMALL ALISON. I don’t want to wear those, BRUGE. Tough titty, FUN HOME ia SMALL ALISON. 1 despises des, What’ the mater with boy's shirts and pans? BRUCE You're a gil SMALL ALISON. ‘This dass makes me el ik clon Thate it BRUCE. That’s enough. We're late, SMALL ALISON. You're wearing a girl color An eyeblink of rage which he chanmels into ultra- calm rationality, BRUCE. Every other gitl at this party is going to be wearing her preitiest dress and you want to put on... What? What? Your jean jacket? Trouser? ‘alright with me, You understand you'll be the onlygitl there not wearing a dress, right? Is that what you wane? You want everyone talking about you behind your back. ‘alright with ‘me, change your clothes. Well? Go ahead, You gonna change? SMALL ALISON, ‘Maybe not right no ‘Mayle not ight nn, MEDIUM ALISON. Dear Mom and Dad BRUCE. (Exiting) Good. MEDIUM ALISON. SMALL ALISON. =T'm trying to tell you Lalla something and I'm having a hard time because it's kind of a big deal. I's not that big ofa deal! It might be a big deal! 1 don’t know! Twant want I ant 1 —am a lesbian! Dear Mom and Dad, Lam a lesbian Joan enters. JON, Hey,3» FUN HOME MEDIUM ALISON, I did it! JOAN. Did what? ‘MEDIUM ALISON. I told my parents. JOAN. Told them what? ‘MEDIUM ALISON. That I'ma lesbian, JOAN, Oh, How are they taking it? What do they say? ‘MEDIUM ALISON, Ob. Nothing. I just put it in the mailbox just now. JOAN. Oh, MEDIUM ALISON, But I feel 40... tough! So sure of myself. So many things, oh my god, so many thingg just suddenly ‘make so much sense! JOAN, Like, Ob, that's why Twas in love with my first grade teacher! MEDIUM ALISON. (Huge revdation.) That is why I was in love th iny first grade teacher. JOAN. (Shaking her hand.) Welcome, my friend. Welcome to the club, MEDIUM ALISON. (Shaking back.) Thank you. Thank you very much, JOAN. Okay! Olay, new lesbian, we are going to the party at the Women’s Collective tonight. Confidence instant vaporized. MEDIUM ALISON. Ob, Uh. JOAN, What? MEDIUM ALISON. Oh, uh, Tes just~ Ijust have a lot of work, JOAN. No you don’t MEDIUM ALISON, Yes T do. JOAN. Whar's going on? MEDIUM ALISON, Nothing, JOAN. What? MEDIUM ALISON. I don’t know if If in JOAN. With who? FUN HOME st MEDIUM ALISON. The lesbians. The real lesbians. You know what I mean. They're political and socially conscious and~ Real lesbians, Look the only thing I really know about myself is that I'm asexual, Iam. I'm notattracted to men but that doesn’t necessarily mean I'm awracted to women. Joan kisses her. Medium Alison is flammased for «@ beat, then lunges at Joan in an uncontrollable and totally inexperienced onslaught of pent up lust, JOAN, Okay, ‘Medium Alison leaps on her again and they tumble into bed. ALISON. (HUGE wave of retroactive humiliation.) Oh my god it’s so embarrassing, ‘She picks up Medium Alison’s journal and reads “Went to a meeting the Gay Union tonight. T was pettified. A lot of political talk. Almost too much, but ultimately a reasonable amount.” ‘What does that mean? “1 signed up to help onganize a ‘Take Back the Night March.’ I don't know why I did it. I don’t know what that is” Oh my god MEDIUM ALISON, What hae last night? ‘An you may hee? Joan jean joan joan Joan “Joon Don wake up, fon (Ob my god tat ight Oh my god Oh my gO ny od my gd lastnight got so ext Tas oo enthusiastic Thank eu for nat laughing Wel you aughed a tte it tone pat when Iwas ouching you dnd sad 1 might lose consciousness‘MEDIUM ALISON. (cont) hich you said was adorable 4nd ust have to trust that you dom’ think 1am an idiot or some kindof an animal T never lost contro, but to overoheiming lust But I wsst ay that Tm Changing wy major Joan ‘Tm changing my major tose with Joan Tm changing my major to sex with Joan ‘uth « minor kissing Joan Poreign stu 0 Joan's inner thighs A seminar on Joan's ass in her Levis And Joan's easy brown ges oan, Ife te Hercules Oh god that sounds rdiculrus Jas top om seaping through this ‘and I'l work on calming down 0 by the time you've woken up ‘Ube cook 7% be collected 4nd 1 have frend some dignity rut who needs dignity? ‘eause tis 850 much beter Tm radiating happiness Will you stay herewith me Jor the rt of he semester? We won’ ned ary food Well live on wx alone Sex with Joan! Tam writing thsi on Joan! sa cuting wie field and my mind s ou I wil glad sy up ev night hone My computor sills with oan 1 wit study my ay dou her spine Ramiliarive myef with her well made outline While she researches mine! Ton’ know oho Iam ‘Toe bcome somsone new FUN HOME, 88 Nathing just did 4s anything would do Overnight eveything changed, | am not prepared Tm diy I'm naustous Im shay I'm saved ‘Am I falling ino nothingness on fying into something so subimet Ton kro! Butlin Changing my major to fan Teught all my be eal alone But ha cas before Is bing fre in his dorm rom bed with Joan Lach, she drole on the pillow s0 sweet All seaty anc tonglep ny bed shee ‘And my hear fe. Complete AS never leave tis rom Hoa Bout we stay hee Yi finals 11 goo schoo forever 1 takeout a demented huge hghinteret oon CauseI'n changing my major fa Joon SHIET to: ALISON. Caption: [leapt out of the closet~ and four months later my father killed himself by stepping in front of a ‘ruck, Bruce sits in his chats, reading a book. Alison swatches him, incredulous ‘While I was at college, exploding into my new life, you...were sitting here reading a book. Helen and Small Alison are working in another room: Helen is grading papers, Small Alison is working on a school project SMALL ALISON, Mom, I have a question HELEN. What?M TUN HOME SMALL ALISON. What was the name o° that street you lived on in New York? HELEN. Bleecker? SMALL ALISON. Yeah, good. (She dives back into her drawing then:) Mom, Ihave a question, HELEN, What? SMALL ALISON. When Dad was in the Army in Germany what color was your how " HELEN. Well, it was an apartment, not a house. And~ don't remember what color it was. SMALL ALISON. Alright something else about what it looked like then, HELEN. Uh... Well, we had a balcony, we had a lovely balcony and in the momings friends of ours would come over and we'd sit there and talk and have breakfast. SMALL ALISON. Okay, where did you live after that? HELEN, Here, Your grandfather died while we were there, 80 we came back SMALL ALISON. Oh yeah, ‘cause Daddy had to run the Fun Home, HELEN, Yes SMALL ALISON. (On a new track) Oh, Tloow! Taking her drawing, she finds her dad. Daddy, you saw the Leaning Tower of Pisa one time, right? BRUCE. I did. (Re: her draing,) What's that? SMALL ALISON, (Excited 10 show him.) In school we're learning maps and globes, and Miss Windsor said draw ‘map of all places people in our family have been to. BRUCE, Aba, FUN HOME SMALL ALISON. They're for showing tomorrow in class 'BRUGE. What's tin? SMALL ALISON. (Bursting with pride.) Okay, 30: This is a keystone because Pennsyivania is the Keystone state. ‘BRUCE. This square? SMALL ALISON. That's Beech Greek, sec? Thats the bridge, that’s the ford, that's the creek, school, the Fun Home, our house, Aunt Jane and Uncle Randy's house Bruce points. That's Germany! (Getting an idea.) Ooh, I know. ‘She draws in news part Jobn, Christian, me. See? Floating in bubbles because ‘we're not born yet BRUCE, Okay, tha’s interesting but let me show you how you can make it better. This s visually confusing; you've got about ten different drawings so you can't realy see any of them. Pick one. SMALL ALISON, But ths is a cartoon and in a cartoon there's all different pars. BRUCE. But we can make it better than a cartoon, SMALL ALISON, I ike cartoons, BRUCE. Sure, cartoons are fun but I'm showing you here how to do something substantial and beautiful. Listen to me, you have the potential to become a real artist. Do you know that? You do. But that means you have to learn the craft, you have to study the rules. Les talk about composition, You've got too mich going on here, Pick one area SMALL ALISON. The Reystone State ‘BRUCE, That's too much, Watch this ‘He takes her pad and starts a new drawing. I'm going to draw our mountains, See that? How I'm shading them? That gives them dimension, 836 FUN HOME BRUGE (cont) ‘Make this part look rugged. Enum Allegheny Plates. ‘This dark shaded stipe bum bum bum isthe front aint the long ridges and wales el Fim mm SMALL ALISON, I want the whole state BRUCE, (Cross,)I'm explaining to you that you can't do that. SMALL ALISON, Let me try. 'BRUGE. Alison, this isthe way it hould look. SMALL ALISON. But [liked the way mine was BRUGE, (Lasing his temper) But you cannot do it like that unless you want to ruin it. I am trying to teach you something important, HELEN. (Coming in from the other room.) Bruce, it doesn't matter, It's a drawing, BRUCE, What do you mean it doesn't matter? She's taking it to school. She's showing it in class, You know what, never mind, You want to take a halfbaked mess to school, you want to embarrass yourself like that it’s fine with me. Do what you want. SMALL ALISON. (Holding the drazing out to him) No, U like the one you did, Daddy, Alison takes the drascing from Small Alison's ‘udstretched hand and studies it ALISON, Make this part look rugged. Mom Allegheny Plate, ‘This dark shaded stipe bum burn um is the lomt ‘Paint the log ridges and val be Mn nn Our town is this. det ‘She begins to draw her own version of this map: Quick dashes mark the propery nds Beech Cec, a tobe that turns and bonds N HOME, a7 Little squares for house strung along roads ‘The land transfigured into topographic codes Maps shew you what is simple and true ‘Ty laying out birds ee view [Not what he told you, just what you se ‘What do you know that’s not your dad's mythology? ‘Dad teas torn om this farm Heres cur house Herts the spot whee he died Teen draw a circle Hs whole if fits inside ‘Pour mils fom our door +180 ran from shore to shore (On ts way from the Casto to Crist Stet ‘The road not taken, just four miles from our door iu mre born on this form Here's our house Here's the spot wher you died Teen draw a crcl Tean draw a circle ow tved your fe inside SHIFT to Bruce in his car. He's pulled over to talk to MARK. BRUCE, Hey, Mark, Is that you? MARK Oh. Hey, Mr. Bechdel. BRUCE. You wanna lift? MARK. I’m not goin’ far. BRUCE. I'm happy to give you a ride, Let me move these groceries. Get in, ‘Mark gets in. They drive. So, Mark. How's your summer? You got a job? MARK. Yeah, working in the stockroom at Cosgrove's BRUCE. Good. Staying on track. That's great. Wanna beer? MARK. I don’t... I don't think I better. BRUCE. Ics okay. There’s some in the bag.FUN HOME ‘Mark takes « beer, ttle nervous but it's also kind Of fn. They drive for a beat. MARK Oh, uh, my house is down that way, Mr. Bechdel, BRUCE. I know. Ijust like getting the chance to know you a little better. You got yourself a giti? MARK. Nah. BRUGE. Saving for college? You a senior? MARK, Junior BRUCE. Ah, right. SHIFT to: MEDIUM ALISON. Dear Mom and Dad, T assume you got my letter. I haven't heard from you, Td really love some sort of response. ‘SHIFT to Small Alison watching a Partridge Familyesque show on TV: SOUND FROM THE TY, (A kidt’s voice:) 1 guess you're not too bad,..for a manager. (Canned laughter: A man's voice) ‘And I guess you kids aren't so bad either even if you do wear chicken feathers, (Canned laughter then a young man's voice) Acone, atwo, aone two three four- (Sound of family singing group:) Ba Ba Ba Ba. uerything’s alight, babe When were together When twee together "Cause you ar tik a raincoat ‘Made out of tv... Bruce enters, and snaps off the TY, BRUCE. God, it’s inane, SMALL ALISON. I was watching it! TUN HOME 39 BRUCE. That show's awful SMALL ALISON. It's the best show! It’s about a family that- BRUCE. I know what it’s about. Read a book, ‘He stands in front of a mirror straightening his fie, SMALL ALISON, How come you're wearing 2 suit? BRUCE. I'm going to Danvilie SMALL ALISON. (Making a joke, tviring her finger by the side of ‘her head.) Are you going to the mental hospital? BRUCE, (Slight eat.) Yes, ‘SMALL ALISON. (Taken aback.) You are? BRUGE I have to see a psychiatrist. SMALL ALISON. How come? BRUGE. Because I do dumb dangerous things, Because I'm bad. No: good like you, ALISON. Actually it’s because you were arrested, Dad. On a tharge of “furnishing a malt beverage to a minor,” Which I believe is what they call a euphemism. Bruce exits leaving Small Alison to digest this information, Helen enters on her way to do the laundry, ‘SMALL ALISON. Daddy said he’s going to Danville HELEN. (Taken aback that Small Alison was told ths.) Ob. SMALL ALISON, He said he’s going to see a prychiatrist? HELEN. He is, SMALL ALISON. How come? HELEN. The...um... A judge said he had to go. It’s been very...complicated. We thought we might have to move, and then— SMALL ALISON, Move?? Where would we go? HELEN. We don’t have to move. The judge said your dad could~ could~ sce someone instead. I can't explain it, any better. You don’t need to worry. Everything's going to be fine.FUN Home, Helen leaves. Small Alison is again let alone, ALISON. Oh yes, it’s all gonna be just fine. (Sheaking aloud the works e's drawing:) Slam, Crash, We hear an offstage fight. Small Alison hears it 00, Alison continues to dra BRUCE, ALISON, Who fucking left these (Murmuring words as she here? I just varnished this writes them.) table! EIEN. Bruce (Sound of him tearing pages out of the Books.) Bruce, what are you doing! Those are library books! // Stop it! BRUCE, Take these back to the library you crazy, // stupid bitch! HELEN, Go! Got Just go! You're going to be late for your // appointment. Just go, BRUCE. ..varnished library. .,books stupid Don't fucking tell me what to do! HELEN, Bruce if you miss this appointment we are in a lot of trouble. // Do you understand that? ‘rouble BRUCE. Thank you for the lecture. // can handle my own business! FUN HOME a HELEN. If you're not home for dinner I’m throwing it in the toilet! ‘Small Alison has shut her eyes and covered her ears to block cut the fight, Now she starts trying to sing over it. ‘SMALL ALISON. Babobaba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba baba ba ba ba ‘THE KIDS, BOBBY JEREMY, THE SUSAN DENS. (affitage) Ba baba te a ba ba ba Baba a be ba ba ba ba ba ‘Small Alison’s brothers hand her a tambourine. Then she turns and sees: BOBBY JEREMY and his backup singers, THE SUSAN DEVS! BOBBY JEREMY, Today I woke up with this fring that I did not recognie KIDS & THE SUSAN DEYS, ‘Srange feling yeah BOUBY JEREMY, Our happy ife seemed for axsay ond everything was made of les KIDS & THE SUSAN DEYS, Lies yeah BOBBY JEREMY, The sky was tuming dark when Baby looked in your eyes And that's when Thnew Bruce and Helen join as well, Now they're a ‘happy, singing family! ALL, Buerything’s al right babe, BOBBY JEREMY. when wae logethahFUN HOME. [FAMILY &e THE SUSAN DEYS. then wee together BOBBY JEREMY, an un, ou are Bike raincoat Ou arte a raincoat ‘made out of ove FAMILY & THE SUSAN DEYS. Keepin’ me dry! at Magic shel of oe BOBBY JEREMY, Protecting ma fom bad weathah [FAMILY & THE SUSAN DENS. ‘an from testy ALL. Vw are ike a raincoat! BOBBY pM, ‘Made out of lve FAMILY & THE SUSAN DENS. baba baba baba aL A raincoa of lve lo le love lve! Boerything’s al right babe BOBBY JEREMY, When were igethah FAMILY & THE SUSAN DES, When were igethah au. Guz 304 ar he 6 rains BOBBY JEREMY, rade ot of ove HELEN & THE EDS. ‘Keen’ mary! att. Magi shield of love FUN HOME 43 Sony june. roteing ma fom bad wenthah HELEN, KIDS, THE SUSAN DEYS. ‘ain from th hy ALL. Woe ar Hike a rnc! BOBBY JEREMY, Made ut of lve A tincot of love HELEN, BRUCE, Ds. ‘THE SUSAN DEYS, ase le ioe lc lve Lowe le love ove love ‘Tigetber Together oather aM, ‘BOBBY JEREMY & THE SUSAN DENS, Evuything’s alight ba, Bs baba, he we'e toe Eoeyting alright bo, cen wee tgthah Bueyting’ al right bab, ‘when wee togthah The TV world melts away leaving only Bruce, singing alone, slightly manic and upbeat. Alison watches him, BRUCE Boything’ a ight Eceything’ all right Ecerthing’s alright ALISON, It’s only writing, it’s only drawing, I’m remembering something, thar’ all SHIFT to: sounds of loud, whooshing New York City traffic. Bruce enters a small, shabby Greenwich Village apartment with Small Alison, Christian, and John trailing behind, dragging bbig shopping bags from their day in the city. As Bruce heads for the bathroom to wash 1p, Small