Confidence

Confidence is a level of certainty and courage in yourself, it is a feeling that you are
brave enough to speak up and believe in yourself. It’s a feeling of assurance in yourself that you
are aware of your worth in ability and skill. I lack this ability to be confident in myself through
insecurities that I am not good enough for others view of me. Through this state of mind, I have
been aware that I am a lot more cautious on what I say around others, I also contradict myself
and feel as if I shouldn’t try sometimes because I have a feeling I will fail, so what's the point in
even trying giving me a feeling of anxiousness. The pros to lacking the ability of confidence
within yourself are you become a better observer and tend to make more friends, the less you
speak up the more you think about what to say and what is going on around you, for you gain the
ability of cautiousness as well. The con of not being confident in yourself is that your self-esteem
goes down and your beliefs in your ability to do things become less and less, you begin to tell
yourself you aren’t good enough. The less confident you are in yourself the opportunities you
will have in life will diminish. The lack of confidence in yourself can hinder yourself
improvement.
In particular, the lack of confidence may be perceived as a liability in a person, for
lacking self-confidence can lead to many missed opportunities. The reason for missing such
moments in your life can be derived from fear, or not being able to take the risk from a caused
trauma of an earlier incident throughout the earlier episodes of your life. This can be a associated
with a completely different matter, but lacking confidence in yourself can lead to self-doubt.
Similarly, in “On Living with Depression” Okafor elaborates on her chronic depression she is
going through, constantly questioning her self worth. According to Okafor, “I was finding it
harder and harder to cope with everything, and resolve was wearing very thin”(309). Parallel to
Okafor’s statement I myself find it hard to cope with my insecurities as well as my self-worth.
This can stunt my improvement as a person as my determination to seek new and brighter
opportunities become limited.
Subsequently, The long lengthy list of negatives of lacking self-confidence will always
cause me this feeling of anxiousness within myself more often than not. It’s almost like
whenever I want to say something my brain has a unconscious reflex to impede my inner
thoughts. Likewise, in “On Living with Depression” Okafor reveals her inner thoughts of dealing
with her depression. Okafor states, “There will always be a creeping whisper at the back of your
mind that is ready to pounce on you”(309). This passage from “On Living with Depression”
perfectly encapsulates the way my brain thinks when I am talking. I have always felt this voice in
the back of my head that tells me to stop when I am about to say my view on a certain matter.
The reason I do I will never know, for this feeling I get can leave me anxious. I often get
frustrated when this happens to me because I don’t say what I truly want to, it’s more as if I have
told a false depiction of the truth.
On the other hand, there are a multitude of positives in having a fragmented
self-confidence in yourself such as the ability of cautiousness. As you lack the ability to speak up
and say your direct thoughts you begin to look around you more often, as an observer. This is
something I have been grateful for in my life because it makes me feel awareness of my
surroundings more than others. On the subject of cautiousness, in “The Creative Gifts of ADHD”
Kaufman clarifies the difficulty of the brain paying attention and restraining your inner mind, as
concentrating as became an occurring problem. Kaufman illustrates, “The ability to control your
attention is the most valuable asset”(293). I find it rather easy to be focused when interested in a
subject, but lacking the ability to speak up. I begin to study what's around me and take notice of
the situation more. Being able to switch on and off my focus of what is going on around me has
constructed a sense of deep cautiousness around me.
Regarding confidence, the lack of this ability can also be seen as a positive in a way as it
has led me to make friends. At first glance it would seem to be the opposite, but I have explained
before how I am cautious about what I say. This leads me to try to say nice things to people and
act well mannered. Friends can come out of nothing such as in “On Living with Depression”
Okafor explains how no one saw her as a peer and would rather see her as a liability, but her
teacher tried to help her and became close to her. Okafor states, “family and friends did not seem
to understand my plight, he saw great potential in me…”(310). This just goes to tell how
sometimes I feel like i’m not good enough for people but they see something else in me that I
don’t. I have gained many friends over the years just through being cautious about what I say
which can make people feel respected.
In conclusion, the lack of self confidence can abrupt the way your personal life, but can
also improve on it. There are many reasons I have articulated on the pros and cons of the lack of
self confidence in myself. I feel that this ability has changed my life and all the life surrounding
me.