el Tae Na ie i; cay a ees " i at 4 A q a co gn yan ] UM ~ Zi a hi aI de a i vacant) mn’ (Ms MADDOX aISBN 0-8065-2720-X U.S. $15.95 CAN $21.95, This is the only sentence in the entire book that will give you a chance to adjust your face; take your time, because it's about to be rocked off—permanenily. Finally, a book that guarantees your balls will be stomped; a book so manly that it will make even the burliest of men (and in some cases, the burliest of women) feel inadequate. So manly, it needs to be shaved: The Alphabet of Manliness. This collection of sacred writings may very well be the greatest compilation of all things manly throughout history. Here’s a small sample of the ass-kickery found within these revered pages of outright manliness: * People getting drop-kicked in the face * Phallic aggression * Violence in excess of what has come to be known as excessive Garish disregard for the well-being of children Contempt for animals, women, and other cultures * Intimidating rhetoric * Obscure penile references © Tit punching * The triumph of flannel over good taste (continued on back flap)ACKNOWLEDGMENTS This is the part in books where I usually skim the names in che off chance that somebody mentioned me, as you are undoubtedly doing now. I’m always disappointed when I don’t get mentioned, so I did my best not to leave anyone off the long list of people who helped make this book possible. First and foremost, I would like to thank Cherry for putting up with my ill-temperament, grumpiness, and general bullshit while I wrote this book. She has been the most supportive person throughout this entire process, experiencing many of the same hardships that I experienced in seeing this book to its end. She tirelessly gave me advice and feedback at all hours of the day, even during my 5 AM red-eye sessions. Her understanding and tolerance knows no bounds. It’s not possible to overstate her importance in writing this book. There would be no book without her, and that’s no joke. I know I sound like a shit stabber by saying “thanks to all my fans,” bur really, thanks to all my fans who have supported me, sent me amus- ing e-mail, porn, viruses, or signed me up to spam lists over the years. Ics been 2 blast deleting all your e-mails. Really, though, thanks for spread- ing the word and checking my site even in between infrequent updates. Td especially like to thank everyone at the fan sites “Maddox Mania, The Best Fan Page in the Universe,” and my fans on IRC for their dedication. Without you assholes, none of this would be possible. Next, I would like to thank my editor, Jeremie Ruby-Strauss, for all his hard work and enthusiasm for this project. He's by far one of the most straightforward and honest guys I’ve ever had the pleasure of dealing with; he just plain tells it like ir is. Jeremie first contacted me over four years ago, and persisted until I finally got a deal. He adapts to emerging talents and technologies, and is one of the few people out there who truly “gets it.”