Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Task
What are the benefits of taking part in sport at school and should it be compulsory? Discuss
your views on this topic.
Answer
Nutrition and fitness are becoming more and more important in our life. Most people believe , that Comment: (not needed)
sport can be significantly beneficial. There are various physical activities, so every person can find
something suitable regardless of his ability. In this essay I will briefly discuss the benefits of sports
activities.
Firstly, there is no doubt that fitness and health are tremendously important. Many experts agree that
participating in sport activities can definitely keep our fitness on a high level. Statistics show that Comment: Recent statistics
more and more children are overweight and obese resently, so we should promote the physical Comment: (not needed here)
Moreover, through these activities, children can improve their educational outcomes and develop in
different areas. It has been proven, that taking part in sport helps to build character and personality
especially during school years. Physical education assists in developing of discipline, precision,
balance and coordination.
Sport can also be very helpful in dealing with children who persistently misbehaviour during and Comment: misbehave
after school. Wee often observe how a child can transform from a difficult teenager to a great Comment: We
sportsman. Lastly, I believe that sport is one of the best ways of interacting with other people. Comment: troublesome
Children learn how to cooperate and respect other people’s decisions. Even though most sport
disciplins are very competitive they teach children about team values and respecting other players. Comment: disciplines
Moreover students learn how to lose with grace and how to get up and try again. Comment: ,
Taking all this points into consideration, I believe that sport is very important in our life and should
play a significant part in every school’s cirruculum. In my opinion physical education is as necessary Comment: curriculum
as numeracy and literacy and should be compulsory in primary and secondary school. Many people
would agree that a well‐ functioning student is one who looks after both mind and body.
Word Count: 308
Teacher's comments:
This essay is too long (308 words instead of advised 250-280). Otherwise this work is a
good one; it covers the task, your position is clear, the ideas are well-organized,
expressed, explained and supported. The sentences show a range of language structures,
cohesive devices and the grammar is fine, although there are places where the sentence
formation is inappropriate (see comment [c2] and [c4]) there are incorrect spellings.
Overall, looks like a band 6.5 or higher essay.
Suggestions:
• Work on spelling mistakes. The best way to improve spelling is to write several times
and learn by heart.
• Keep the maximum word limit in mind while writing the essay; otherwise you are
likely to make more grammatical and spelling errors.
In some countries children have very strict rules of behavior, in other countries they
are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children have to
follow rules?
Answer
People from different countries behave differently. These differences appear in several
aspects. One of these aspects is the restriction on children’s behavior. Children from some
countries in the world, such as China or Japan, are expected to follow rules set by their
parents; while children come from countries like America live freely. In my opinion,
controlling children’s behavior at an early age benefits them in the future.
Some people may argue that rules of behavior destroy children’s creativity. If they only
know how to follow rules, there are not many differences between human and man‐made Comment: then there may remain no
machines. difference between humans and
machines.
On the other hand, there are significant benefits which result from children having
restrictions. Firstly, at a young age, children lack wisdom and life experience, whereas,
their parents have experienced a lot in the real world. The restrictions they set are to
protect the youngsters from unknown dangerous. Furthermore, when people are young, Comment: Dangers.
they are curious about every single thing exposed to them. For instance, if a child is curious
at the taste of cigarettes, he or she might become addicted after attempted to cigarettes Comment: about the
children can do whatever they want to.
All in all, I believe the strict rules of behavior in children are necessary because they are set
to direct and protect the younger generation. However, the rules should be able to release Comment: eased
step by step along with children’s growth.
Teacher's comments:
Essay starts with good introduction. However, candidate started making mistakes
which were mainly related to formation of sentences. One or two sentences
seemed irrelevant. Use of vocabulary is good. Grammatical mistakes could have
been avoided. Task completion is fine with sufficient arguments and good essay
format.
Do not forget to proof read your essay to weed out clerical errors.
Nowadays historic buildings are being destroyed to build new constructions, is
this a positive development? Explain your point of view?
Answer
Some countries are preserving their historical buildings, while some are investing on
their renovations to get economic benefit. On the other hand, some countries are
demolishing ancient structures to give way for new constructions. This essay will
describe some of the positive aspects and drawbacks of destroying historic buildings in
the following passages.
Most of the historic buildings have their own story and should not be destroyed in the
name of modernization. These structures can be renovated in order to strengthen
national economy. We can consider India’s Taj Mahal as a paragon. It attracts millions of
tourists each year and it is one of the major sources of income in India. It also provides Comment: revenue for
disrespect and wasting all their time, money and effort.
Demolishing old and fragile historical constructions to make new buildings is a good
decision especially if maintenance of these buildings demands a great deal of time and
money. Sometimes, leaving them without maintenance or destroying may lead to their
collapse claiming people’s life and can create disaster. We can hear news about the
accidents occurred due to collapse of the old buildings. Thus to prevent such disaster, Comment: which occur
governments should replace them by new structure.
As far as I am concerned, I believe, countries must save their old and historical
structures as they can make them economically and culturally rich. If in case, it is not
possible, it should be destroyed but only for the construction of landmarks or public
properties.
Word Count: 271
Teacher's comments:
Essay displays a fair degree of command of the language on the part of its writer.
However, candidate has made a mistake while completing the task. Second sentence
in the question statement asks for explaining the reason for candidate’s point of view.
This task has been allotted insufficient attention. Overall vocabulary and grammar is
fine though.
Suggestions:
Try reading the question statement carefully and give your reply appropriately.
You can increase your bands by using more appropriate vocabulary and at the same
time reinforcing your arguments.
Essay #4
Task:
Today, high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the
real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own experience.
Answer:
It is a fact that manufacturing companies spend a huge amount of money in order to advertise
their products. Although many people believe that consumers purchase various products
because of the influence of advertisements, some others argue against it. This essay will discuss
both arguments.
Today’s advertisements are strong enough to attract any kind of people. Most of the
advertisements are over exaggerated representation of the real product. Vulnerable people often
fell in this trap and purchase low quality materials unnecessarily. Moreover, advertisements Comment: fall
sometimes target certain age groups, such as schoolchildren and adolescents. In order to attract
such immature population, advertising companies make use of prominent singers or actors.
Since adolescents have a tendency to imitate their favorite icons, they purchase the product.
Apart from this, many people grab the newly launched products in order to increase their pride
in the society.
On the other hand, many people purchase products by watching the advertisement, if they are
likely to improve their lifestyle. For instance, if a busy person comes to see an advertisement
about a new time saving home appliance, he or she is more likely to purchase that item. In
addition, if the product is good in quality and really meats the expectation of the buyer, it will get
mouth publicity. This will surely improve the sales of the particular product. Furthermore, there
are many people who are keen on advanced technologies. Such people often buy latest products
by thinking that they simplify their life.
Despite the fact that advertisements are not real, an increasing number of people still fall in their
trap.
Teacher's comments:
Well done! There are minor mistakes, which can be improved by proof reading the
essay after writing it. Other wise there is proper cohesion and coherence. Appropriate
vocabulary has been used.
Answer:
In this day and age, women are no longer restricted to only being a homemaker
as compared to the past. Instead, many have become working mothers. This is
occurring because of growing economical pressure, personal preference, and so
forth. There are both pros and cons of this issue.
Being a working mother can be beneficial in many ways. Firstly, working
mothers bring in regular pay check which could greatly ease the financial burden
of the household. In other words, working mothers can have some extra
spending than their domestic counterparts. Further, women who work are
generally believed to be less depressed. By constantly exposing to tasks like,
Problem solving, pressure handling, women are more encouraging and their Comment: become
self‐esteem and self confidence are greatly enhanced. Conversely, those
homemakers usually feel stressed and unhappy in doing repetitive household
chores. In addition, working mothers set up a role model for their kids. Kids are Comment: become
instilled with a sense of achievement, responsibility and hardworking spirit. This,
in turn, may have great impact in shaping young children’s personality.
On the other hand, there are certain downsides to being a working mother. To
begin with, young children whose parents both work outside the home are
believed to be alienated from their parents. They can not enjoy a balancing
family life. They are often sent to nursing school. This may be advantageous in
terms of the professional care they receive but is far from constructive to their
psychological well being. Moreover, working mothers at times find it difficult to Comment: being constructive for their
work due to discrimination in workplaces. And this leads to a deepened psychological well being.
homesickness.
In conclusion, the question discussed is rather complex as both sides have merit.
However, an important issue here is mother who decides to work needs to make
sure work‐life equilibrium is achieved.
Word Count – 297
Teacher's comments:
This is a very well written essay. It displays a good command over the
English language. Expression of opinions is good. Use of vocabulary is
fine too. Connectives have been used properly.
The graph below shows the way people of Somecountry invested their money during the
years 2001 ‐ 2006. Write a report for a university tutor describing the information shown.
You should write at least 150 words.
Answer
countries during the years 2001 to 2006. There is an increasing amount of money invested
in stocks and bond every year.
an increase in the year of 2005 to 2006 (297 and 311 billion dollars). The highest stock was
311 billion in the year 2006.
The amount of money invested in bonds is smaller as compared to stocks (100 versus 210
billion dollars). Although bond has less investment, the trend of its investment is increasing Comment: In 2001
from almost 10‐30 billion dollars every year. From 100 billion it went up to 188 in 2006.
Comment: Somecountry
In conclusion, people in some country invest their money more in stocks than in bonds. Comment: invested
Word Count: 187 words
Teacher's comments:
Overall the graph is well elaborated by having a close look at the details of the
trend. However, the candidate failed to use some words appropriately. There are
also some problems with tenses.
Suggestions:
Needs to work hard on the correct use of tenses, word choice and punctuation.
Must try to use different linking verbs such as "in the same way, likewise,
similarly, on the other hand, whereas, however".
Must try to use different adjectives or adverbs for showing various trends such
as "a slight increase or increased slightly, a sharp rise or rose sharply, a
considerable decline or declined considerably".
Report #2
Task
The table below describes the percentages of homeschooled students in
SomeCountry in 19992004. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the
information shown. You should write at least 150 words.
Answer:
of students studying at home (2.4 to 2.9 respectively).
A decline in percentage of home‐schooled students was noted among grades 1‐2 to
grades 7‐8 from year 1999‐2001. The lowest percentage was in year 2000 among students
of grades 1‐2 which is only 1.2%. An increasing number of students doing the home‐
schooled study were noted in the year 2002 to 2003 among grades 3‐4 to grades 7‐8. Comment: was
Teacher's comments:
Overall the report is well attempted. However, the candidate fails to use a variety
of sentence structure and certain words have been used repeatedly. Moreover,
the task displays some problems with prepositions.
Suggestions:
The candidate needs to work hard on the correct use of preposition especially
from, to, etc.
Must use connective words such as "similarly, in the same way, likewise,
whereas, on the other hand, however" wherever these words are needed.
Report #3
Task
The graph below shows how prices of "hightech gadgets" changed over time in
Somecountry. Write a report for a university tutor describing the information
shown. You should write at least 150 words.
Answer
The graph compares the prices of navigation systems and smart phones in Somecountry
between July 2004 and December 2006. As it shows clear, although at first navigation Comment: It has been shown clearly
that
systems have been much more expensive, over the years prices for navigation systems
and smart phones became identical.
In 2004 a navigation system cost almost 4000 USD. In the first half of 2005 the price Comment: ,
droped to 3200 USD declining steadily to 3000 USD in the second half of 2005. In the Comment: dropped
following year, 2006, it first came to an increase up to 3500 USD between January and
June but from July to December 2006 prices went down even under the level of 2005
and reached 2750 USD.
As it is shown smart phones have been cheaper compared to navigation systems during Comment: ,
the whole period. Starting at 3000 USD in the second half of 2004 the price for a smart Comment: cheaper as compared to
phone declined steadily down to 2750 USD during January to June 2005. After a small
increase to 2900 USD at the end of the same year the price went down by 300 USD to
2600 USD maintaining stability throughout 2006.
Although there was a big difference in the prices for navigation systems and smart
phones in 2004 and the first half of 2006 there was no difference at the end of the shown Comment: in
period.
Word count: 221 words
Teacher's comments:
Overall, the graph is well written although there are some minor mistakes. The
candidate has exceeded the word limit.
Suggestions:
Try to keep the word limit up to a maximum of 180 words. Use a comma
wherever necessary.
Letter #1
Task
You are renting an apartment and the neighbours are disturbing you. Write a
letter to your landlord explaining what the problem is, what do you do to solve
the problem and what action you want the owner to take.
Answer
Comment: Missing comma
Dear Sir!
apartment.
They normally bang their doors instead of gently closing them. It makes a loud sound
which is very disturbing and distracts me from my studies. They throw a party almost
every weekend nights and play deafening music which sometimes ends at next early Comment: night
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Comment: Yours Sincerely,
Jackson
Teacher's comments:
Letter displays lack of concentration on the part of the candidate. Some of the
mistakes could have been easily avoided. Grammar and vocabulary seem fine.
Suggestions:
3. Action to be taken
-Do not ask questions in a Semiformal letter. Write a request (refer comment
[c5]).
-Always add a comma after the salutation (and not an exclamation mark),(refer
comment [c1])
-Always end your letter with appropriate sign off phrase (refer comment [c6]).
Letter #2
Task
You moved to a new place. Write to your friend to inform her about your move to
a new place. Write her why you moved and describe about the new place and
invite her to visit you.
Answer
Dear Smita,
feel so relieved to get a good unit near my office.
As you know, I had to spend about 3 hours each day in travelling to and from the work.
Irregularity of bus services in Kensington was a great problem for me. I usually used to
get late for work though I leave from home early. It caused negative impression and Comment: used to leave
Comment: in the mind of my
created risk for losing my job. So, I decided to move. employer
and my unit is about 5 minutes walk from the station. So it is a safer place for us to live
in comparison to that of Kensington where I had to walk for about 15 minutes from bus
stop.
I would love to show you my new apartment. Why don’t you come here for lunch on
coming weekend and spend a whole day here?
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Comment: missing comma
With love
Teacher's comments:
The essay is quite good. It has been well arranged with good ideas. Student
has clearly displayed the understanding of writing informal letters. However,
better vocabulary use and more structured sentences could have helped in
getting higher bands.
Suggestions:
Use more vocabulary in your sentences. e.g. (commuting to office place had
been a big hazard for me. / My new accommodation is in proximity to my
office.) Proof read the letter in order to eliminate mistakes.
Letter #3
Task
You have a pen friend living in another country and he/she is curious to learn
about the major news items in your country.
Answer
Dear Sam,
I am sorry, i havn’t been writing you for such a long time. I remember in your last letter Comment: I
my turn.
As you know that India is one of the hottest country, and summers are going on these
days. Many of the poor people without shelter are dying because of extremely hot
atmosphere. Recession seems to be a calamity in the country and leads to a terrible
blow on people’s jobs as well as property rates. My business is going down as im a Real Comment: I am
nice these days, in order to get the votes from the public.
Indian team’s name resounded all over the world regarding its victory on England in the
world cup. Government has made strict legislates against the disparity between
religions and casts. To get rid of heavy pollution, especially in metro cities, many of the Comment: religion and caste
cars which run on batteries are available in the market. Guess what? I bought one.
Do let me know if you plan to visit India in you upcoming holidays. Take good care of
yourself ,be in touch. Give my greetings to Uncle and Aunty.
With love,
Inder Grewal.
Teacher's comments:
Avoid using (don’t , haven’t) and use (do not, have not)