FUZZIES by Trey Parker Second Draft July 10, 1996FADE IN: Deep in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado, a beautiful wintery landscape. Pine trees are everywhere, with branches that hang heavy with deep, powdered snow. We PAN across the lovely mountain vista and finally SETTLE on a LONG SHOT of a little town that lies right in the middle of the Rockies. A TITLE reads ‘MALA VISTA, l ot COLORADO - RECENTLY...’ EXT. MALA VISTA - DAY Mala Vista is an extremely quaint and charming mountain town, so quaint and charming that it almost makes you want to vomit. Small wooden buildings line a single, unpaved road. A few happy TOWNSPEOPLE walk hither and thither - and even some lovely Christmas decorations add to the merry ambiance. Suddenly, the peaceful scene is interrupted by a child’s loud voice, OFF CAMERA, that is singing a bizarre song. CHILD’S VOICE (0.8.) (Singing) Bacon and Cheese and Carrots and Peas! And Carrots and Peas and Bacon and Cheese! The Camera MOVES as if looking for the source of the voice. WHIP PAN TO EXT. FOREST TRAIL - MALA VISTA JOE MITCHELL, a VERY strange looking nine year-old boy with thick glasses is walking down a crude path heading into Mala Vista from a large group of trees. The way he walks and talks, it is immediately apparent that he has a mental disability. Little Joe is wearing a wooden chest plate to act as a crude Piece of armor, an old cooking pot on his head as a helmet, and absolutely nothing else. Luckily, his chest plate hangs low enough to cover his privates, but it seems the kid must be FREEZING in the snowy surroundings. But instead of looking cold, Joe proudly swings a wooden sword in his hand back and forth as he continues his powerful song. JOE (Singing) Fight the Blue Horned Fuzzies! Fight with all your heart! (MORE) (CONTINUED)CONTINUED: JOE (cont'd) Bacon and cheese and carrots and Peas! And Cheese and Bacon and Carrots! Joe passes one of the quaint Mala Vista homes. A WOMAN has just pulled her car into the driveway of the house and is emerging with a bag of groceries under her arm. JOE Hello Mrs. Bacon and Cheese! ‘WOMAN (rolling her eyes) Hello, Joe. JOE I been fighting Blue Horned Fuzzies in the woods behind. your house! ! WOMAN That's nice, Joe. JOE Peas and carrots! WOMAN Go away, Joe. JOE Okay! The woman sighs and shakes her head as Joe prances on down the road. EXT. PORCH OF A HOUSE - MALA VISTA From a rocking chair on his wooden porch, a middle-aged, rugged looking man, VANCE, watches as Joe marches by, still singing his fighting song. VANCE Hey, put some clothes of; you crazy kid! If your mom catchekou naked again she’ll whip your butt! JOE Hellg }ir. Peas and grapes! Joe does some flips that resemble cartwheels down the road. (CONTINUED)