The time has come.

No more procrastinating. Time to step up, stop eyeing the pretty girl from across the

room and make a move. Sure, it is nerve wracking, but you must overcome the jitters and face it.

The first date. No one enjoys the first date; the pressure to look your best, be interesting

but cool, and the general aura of uncertainty that lies around the entire event. You are both

nervous, but not to worry! There are a few things you can do to ensure the evening will be less

stressful on you and your date, and get a second date lined up.

Tip 1: Give your date a detailed account of your childhood traumas the emotional effects

of said events. By laying out your insecurities, anxieties, and doubts about not only yourself but

humanity, you’re being honest. Your date will appreciate that you trust them enough to talk

about yourself for an hour, straight through the appetizers and main course. They may even feel

excited that you’re already investing your own emotions with them!

Tip 2: Prepare a brief explanation of your exes and whether or not you are still in contact

with them. If you are in contact with them, great! Bring them along and have them meet their

replacement. This will eliminate the awkwardness of running into the ex at a social gathering full

of friends and family.

Tip 3: Speaking of family, why not bring a few of your loved ones with you? Have them

at the next table over so that when the inevitable “how many brothers and sisters do you have?”

question happens, you can point to them and include them. This will allow your family to get to

know their potential new member with you! Your date will LOVE the lack of time they had to

mentally prepare for meeting their new in-laws; you just took away the need to stress!

Tip 4: Test out your date’s sense of humor, and while you’re at it, get to know what party

they vote. This can be accomplished with making a few political jokes. You may also want to
throw in some racial statements just to see where they stand. Ask if they believe God is real and

if so, what religion they practice. Any other answer than “ya know, a mix” is unacceptable. Tell

them this quickly and do not let them explain themselves. They are wrong and you have the right

to tell them so.

Tip 5: If you got through the main course and are now having dessert, being telling them

about the future the two of you will have together. Include any dreams of children, (be sure to

mention if you have daddy issues, this will not make the other person feel awkward at all,) plans

for dogs and cats, and about how wonderful your date/soon-to-be- spouse will look at home in

the kitchen, where they belong!

Tip 6: Maybe you are not looking for a new spouse but instead are on this date to have a

little fun while your current spouse is at home. This is okay and your date will love the fact that

you considered them for this role in the first place!

Tip 7: If your date is not going the way you planned at all, that is OKAY. Ask your date

for their sister’s/brother/s number and try again!

Tip 8: Remind your date that all your flaws are just part of who you are. Forgetting your

wallet? living at home without a job? Having no aspirations for the future? That’s not your fault.

That’s the result of society placing too much pressure on you. And that time in 3rd grade when

your teacher didn’t give you the A for the work you didn’t do and embarrassed you in front of

the whole class. Not your fault at all, my friend.

Tip 9: If you don’t feel like getting dressed up, DON’T. it’s okay to show them your

messiest, laziest, sloppiest side right off the bat. That’s what they’ll see next week anyways.

While you’re at it, show them pictures of your messy room and un-washed dishes. You are not

giving them false hope or a fake image of you.

 Tip 10: This is the most important tip of them all, if you follow none of the others than

do this one thing: At the end of the date, instead of a hug or kiss goodbye, provide your date a

detailed list of the things they could have done better. Tell them what they said that was wrong

and how they should have answered. Your date will be better prepared for next time and thank

YOU for it.