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The term cycle of violence looks at the repetitive nature of perpetrator’s actions that hinder a

victim’s ability to leave an abusive relationship. The cycle of violence theory provides an insight
into this by illustrating how the behavior of a perpetrator can change very dramatically, making it
difficult for the woman to leave. (wikipedia, n.d.).There are periods of time where things may be
calmer, but those times are followed by a buildup of tension and abuse, which usually results in
the abuser peaking with intensified abuse. The cycle then often starts to repeat, commonly
becoming more and more intense as time goes on. Each relationship is different and not every
relationship follows the exact pattern. Some abusers may cycle rapidly, others over longer
stretches of time. Regardless, abusers purposefully use numerous tactics of abuse to instill fear in
the victim and maintain control over them. (dynamics of abuse, n.d.) Victims can be of any age,
sex, race, culture, religion, education, employment or marital status. Although both men and
women can be abused, most victims are women and children.

In this essay I will use the cycle of violence theory to examine the actions of the abuser and the
victims as well as the effects on both parties

Every year there are over ten million incidents of domestic violence and child abuse worldwide.
That means that every nine seconds a woman is beaten by her domestic partner” (Findeley). There
are many victims that stay silent when being abused by their partners. The consequences of staying
quiet when obtaining abuse can be dangerous and can also lead to death. Many victims do not
recognize the importance of the fact that there is in speaking out if they are being abuse by their
partner. Domestic abuse has gotten worse during the past years and is still rising up. One can see
that domestic abuse can occur everywhere. Domestic abuse is considered a crime and woman
should not keep silent when being abuse. Sadly, there is an increasing number of young adults
going through an abusive relationship or were in one.

Usually, abuse takes place behind closed doors Many of the people that become abusers consider
violence as a normal behavior because they have witnessed it on a daily basis. They then begin to
mistreat everyone that comes in his or her way. Victims of domestic violence do not bring
violence upon themselves, they do not always lack self-confidence, nor are they just as abusive
as the abuser. Violence in relationships occurs when one person feels entitled to power and
control over their partner and chooses to use abuse to gain and maintain that control.The abuser
needs to be right and in control especially if they are males, they use male privilege to treat
women like slaves. There are the ones who makes decisions in the house they don’t offer a room
for discussion to their partners or victims. usually the abuser will be the one who defines the men
and women’s role in the house. Claiming ownership and exclusive control of communal or joint
items – e.g. “my kids, my house, my bank account, my TV.

Tension building refers to stress builds from the pressures of daily life, like conflict over
children, marital issues, misunderstandings, or other family conflicts. It also builds as the result
of illness, legal or financial problems, unemployment, or catastrophic events, like floods, rape or
war. This phase can be very frightening for people experiencing abuse. They feel as though the
situation will explode if they do anything wrong. The behavior of the abuser intensifies and
reaches a point where a release of tension is inevitable. during this period, the abuser feels
ignored, threatened, annoyed or wronged. The feeling lasts on average several minutes to hours,
it may last as much as several months. The behavior of the abuse he or she will be dangerously
violent, deliberate desire to hurt or kill, out of control or irrational to prevent violence, the victim
may try to reduce the tension by becoming compliant and nurturing. Or, to get the abuse over
with, prepare for the violence or lessen the degree of injury, the victim may provoke the batterer.
"However, at no time is the batterer justified in engaging in violent or abusive behavior,"

Acute violence characterized by outbursts of violent, any type of abuse occurs physical, verbal,
sexual, emotional. (Cycle of domestic domestic violence, n.d.) abusive incidents which may be
preceded by verbal abuse and include psychological abuse. During this stage the abuser attempts
to dominate their partner or victim with the use of domestic violence for example slapping,
kicking, harassment and abuse. The victim will response by protecting herself by trying to to
reason and calm. He or she might report or not report to the police. She might leave or attempts
to fight back. In intimate partner violence, children are negatively affected by having witnessed
the violence and the partner's relationship degrades as well. The release of energy reduces the
tension, and the abuser may feel or express that the victim "had it coming" to them
reconciliation or honey moon during this phase reconciliation occurs, characterized by affection,
apology, or, alternatively, ignoring the incident, this phase marks an apparent end of violence,
with assurances that it will never happen again, or that the abuser will do their best to change. the
couple may experience an intense, intimate relationship where neither wants to remember the
pain of the violence and earlier difficulties are typically denied. (safeplace) The abuser may
begin to feel repetency, guilty feelings, or fear that their partner will leave or call the police. The
victim feels pain, fear, humiliation, disrespect, confusion, and may mistakenly feel responsible.
During this stage the abuser may feel or claim to feel overwhelming remorse and sadness. Some
abusers walk away from the situation with little comment, but most will eventually shower the
survivor with love and affection. The abuser may use self-harm or threats of suicide to gain
sympathy and/or prevent the survivor from leaving the relationship. Abusers are frequently so
convincing, and survivors so eager for the relationship to improve, that the victims who are often
worn down and confused by longstanding abuse stay in the relationship. The victims here will
forgive, relived and will be happy

Calm during this phase (which is often considered an element of the honeymoon or
reconciliation phase), the relationship is relatively calm and peaceable. During this period the
abuser may agree to engage in counseling, ask for forgiveness, and create a normal atmosphere.
In intimate partner relationships, the perpetrator may buy presents or the couple may engage in
passionate sex. Over time, the batterer's apologies and requests for forgiveness become less
sincere and are generally stated to prevent separation or intervention. However, interpersonal
difficulties will inevitably arise, leading again to the tension building phase. The effect of the
continual cycle may include loss of love, contempt, distress, and/or physical disability. Intimate
partners may separate, divorce or, at the extreme, someone may be killed

In the cycle of violence one can conclude that the sometimes, the threat of violence is all the
abuser needs to control you, like a terrorist. The best time to abort violence is in the build-up
stage. Some victims will even provoke an attack to get it over with, because their anxiety
and fear is so great. After an attack, abusers say how sorry they are and promise never to repeat
it, but without counseling to treat the underlying causes of the abuse repeat itself. Do not believe
their promises. Victims will usually under report or hide their partners abusive behavior, not
label obviously abusive behavior as abuse. They always blame themselves in part for the abuse
they reveal. Make excuses for the abuser's behavior. Bend over backwards to see the abuser's
perspective. Describe the abuser at least partially.


Cycle of domestic domestic violence. (n.d.). Retrieved from women and children first:

dynamics of abuse. (n.d.). Retrieved from dynamics of abus:

johnson, s. a. (n.d.). envision conselling center. Retrieved from envision conselling center:

safeplace. (n.d.). cycle of violence. Retrieved from safe place:


wikipedia. (n.d.). wikipedia. Retrieved from