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Task 1 GT Model Correction Furniture PDF
Task 1 GT Model Correction Furniture PDF
Overall 6 6+6+6+6
TA C&C LR GRA Model
WRITING TASK 1
For more IELTS advice go to Succeed in IELTS with Tony Version September 22, 2017
IELTS Task 1 Sample Correction Page 2 of 8
Your answer
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing to you to complain about the damage resulted to my
purchased closet, which I bought from one of your furniture stores the
day before yesterday, and was delivered to my house yesterday.
It was the first time for me to open the package at home after the
unloading process was completed, then I was shocked to see the right
upper closet door broken into two pieces.
This is totally bad experience for me, and I think this damage had
resulted as a consequence of insufficient packing process or in the worst
cases due to the wrong way package lifting.
In this case, I want you to bear the responsibility for replacing your
damaged product as soon as possible. I am expecting your team to arrive
for picking up the old closet and deliver me a brand new one within the
next three days at most, or i will have to call the trading authorities to
issue an official complain for your company.
I am waiting for your soonest feedback, and please keep me updated
with your action plan.
Yours faithfully,
Ashraf Terra
For more IELTS advice go to Succeed in IELTS with Tony Version September 22, 2017
IELTS Task 1 Sample Correction Page 3 of 8
Overall 6 6+6+6+6
Task Achievement
Band score 6
There is a purpose, but it would be clearer if you mentioned the fact that
you want a replacement
You have addressed all three bullet points. Bullet 2 could be expanded
more.
The fact that the purpose is not clear, and the tone is a bit
inappropriate, limit your score to 6
Dear Sir/Madam,
It was the first time for me to open the package at home after the
unloading process was completed, then I was shocked to see the right
upper closet door broken into two pieces. Commented [AWG2]: Bullet 1
covered
This is totally bad experience for me, and I think this damage had
resulted as a consequence of insufficient packing process or in the worst Commented [AWG3]: Inconsiste
tone
cases due to the wrong way package lifting.
Commented [Tony4]:
In this case, I want you to bear the responsibility for replacing your Bullet 2 covered, but you could expan
damaged product as soon as possible. I am expecting your team to arrive this a bit
for picking up the old closet and deliver me a brand new one within the
For more IELTS advice go to Succeed in IELTS with Tony Version September 22, 2017
IELTS Task 1 Sample Correction Page 4 of 8
next three days at most, or i will have to call the trading authorities to Commented [Tony5]:
issue an official complain for your company. Inconsistent tone – it’s a bit aggressiv
The damage was probably an acciden
I am waiting for your soonest feedback, and please keep me updated
Commented [TG6]: Bullet 3
with your action plan.
covered
Yours faithfully,
Ashraf Terra
For more IELTS advice go to Succeed in IELTS with Tony Version September 22, 2017
IELTS Task 1 Sample Correction Page 5 of 8
Band score 6
You need more accurate cohesion between and within sentences, and
better signposting to get a 7
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing to you to complain about the damage which resulted to my Commented [Tony7]:
purchased closet, which I bought from one of your furniture stores the Incorrect linking
day before yesterday, and which was delivered to my house yesterday.
It was the first time for me to open the package at home after the Commented [Tony8]:
unloading process was completed, then at which point I was shocked to Clear signposting would be
see the right upper closet door broken into two pieces. With regard to the damage, I first
noticed it […]
This is totally bad experience for me, and I think this damage had
Commented [TG9]: Faulty
resulted as a consequence of insufficient packing process or in the worst cohesion
cases due to the wrong way package lifting.
Commented [Tony10]:
In this case, I want you to bear the responsibility for replacing your Better signposting would be As for th
damaged product as soon as possible. I am expecting your team to arrive cause of the damage, […]
for picking up the old closet and deliver me a brand new one within the Commented [TG11]: Good
next three days at most, or If you fail to do this, i will have to call the Commented [Tony12]:
trading authorities to issue an official complain for your company. Better would be As the damage is the
responsibility of your company, would
I am waiting for your soonest feedback, and please keep me updated you kindly …
with your action plan.
Yours faithfully,
Ashraf Terra
For more IELTS advice go to Succeed in IELTS with Tony Version September 22, 2017
IELTS Task 1 Sample Correction Page 6 of 8
Lexical resource
Band score 6
Dear Sir/Madam,
It was the first time for me to open As I opened the package at home
after the unloading process was completed, then I was shocked to see
the right upper closet door broken into two pieces.
This is totally bad experience for me, and I think this damage had
resulted as a consequence of insufficient packing process or in the worst
cases due to the wrong way package liftingbeing lifted incorrectly.
In this case, I want you to bear the responsibility for replacing your
damaged product as soon as possible. I am expecting your team to arrive Commented [AWG13]: Because
for picking up the old closet and deliver me a brand new one within the the item was damaged on delivery, it
next three days at the most, or i will have to call the trading authorities your responsibility to replace the […]
to issue an official complain complaint for against your company. Commented [TG14]: See LR
Yours faithfully,
Ashraf Terra
For more IELTS advice go to Succeed in IELTS with Tony Version September 22, 2017
IELTS Task 1 Sample Correction Page 7 of 8
Band score 6
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing to you to complain about the damage resulted to my
purchased closet, which I bought from one of your furniture stores the
day before yesterday, and which was delivered to my house yesterday.
It was the first time for me to open As I opened the package at home
after the unloading process was completed, then I was shocked to see
the right upper closet door broken into two pieces.
This is totally bad experience for me, and I think this damage had
resulted happened as a consequence of insufficient packing process or in
the worst cases due to the wrong way package liftingit being lifted
incorrectly.
In this case, I want you to bear the responsibility for replacing your Commented [Tony15]:
damaged product as soon as possible. I am expecting your team to arrive good
for picking to pick up the old closet and deliver me a brand new one
within the next three days at most, or i will have to call the trading
authorities to issue an official complain for against your company.
I am waiting for your soonest feedback, and please keep me updated
with your action plan.
Yours faithfully,
Ashraf Terra
For more IELTS advice go to Succeed in IELTS with Tony Version September 22, 2017
IELTS Task 1 Sample Correction Page 8 of 8
Model answer
As far as the cause is concerned, I can only assume it was the result of
an act of carelessness on behalf of the deliverymen. It is also my
opinion that the packaging itself was inadequate for such a heavy and
fragile object. I would have expected several layers of moving blankets,
rather than the bubble wrap that was used.
I know that a company with a reputation for quality service such as yours
will collect and replace the mirror as soon as possible. I would
appreciate it if you would arrange to deliver the replacement at a time
when I am at home. Please call me on 012 345 6789 to arrange a
mutually convenient time for delivery.
Sincerely,
Tony Grace
207 words
For more IELTS advice go to Succeed in IELTS with Tony Version September 22, 2017