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Irelan Bailey

Ms. Parrish

English 2010, 4A

March 14, 2019

What My Education Has Given Me

The room echoes with the sounds of clicking from the keyboard as I finish typing up a

document. My mother is reclined in the sofa across the room asleep from a long day of work.

The phone begins to ring and it brings along a sudden sharp shock to my ears. My mother begins

to reach over the edge of the couch for the phone and answers it. A prolonged silence follows.

Curious, I peer over the headrest of my chair and find myself watching my mother’s eyes well up

with tears. Watching her in pain, I begin to feel my chest empty and my nose burn from my eyes

tearing up. I hear her voice trembling as she speaks in Navajo with occasional pauses with sobs. I

know what happened; I knew this moment would come sooner or later. I’m not prepared to

attend another funeral.

My grandmother’s life was taken away that day by cancer. My family took care of her for

years and she stayed with us every time she would come to Huntsman Cancer Institute for her

appointments. I was the only one that stayed home with her the majority of the time since the rest

of my family worked. I’ve never had a conversation with her because I had a fear of talking or

conversing with people. I regret never having a conversation with her. This wasn’t the first time

that I’ve experienced this situation. My grandfather died of cancer a couple of years before my

grandmother died. We took care of him longer than my grandmother and I looked up to him. My
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mind put him on a pedestal that I could only admire from a distance. I was just afraid to get too

close. I’ve lived a majority of my life in my own quiet world where I didn’t speak unless spoken

to. Throughout my life, I’ve been faced with certain events that have given me opportunities to

create and improve my social skills. My education has given me social skills.

Silence was my closest friend throughout my childhood. I felt sheltered and safe by staying in

my own little world where I was alone. The feeling of talking to someone felt foreign to me and I

did my best to avoid anything that would lead to a possible change in my life. I had times where

my parents would force me to talk to others and try to push me out of my comfort zone. I would

become petrified with fear, begin to shake, and attempt to do anything to get out of the situation.

I didn’t even have the ability to talk to my own parents. Whether the situation is car rides to the

store, a walk in the park, or at the dinner table, there would only be silence. This was my life and

I was happy with this lifestyle at the time. However, I couldn’t keep this lifestyle up forever.

School has always tested my ability to socialize whether I liked it or not. I find it nearly

impossible to attend school and not socialize with anyone. I would only talk to my peers if I was

forced to or if I didn’t want to seem different. However, there were certain people who would go

beyond that and try to actually get to know me. These peers are the ones that are pushed me out

of my comfort zone. As I grew older, I got to meet new people that made me feel happy. As I

created friendships, I was introduced to different lifestyles that piqued my interests. I would

eventually get dragged along into trying new things and start creating my own interesting

lifestyle.
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As I continued to engage myself in conversations, meet new people, and let people know

my feelings; I began to change as a person. One activity I added to my life was Tae Kwon Do. I

was able to feel included and loved by my Tae Kwon Do family. To this day, I’m still in contact

with my Black Belt group and I was able to create close friends that I can lean on when I need it.

When I was promoted to be an assistant instructor and first-degree black belt, I was afraid to

teach. However, with the help of those around me, I was able to help run classes and strive to be

an inspirational teacher to my students. I realized that I couldn’t reach my fullest potential if I

stayed in my shell for the rest of my life. I couldn’t bring out the best in others if I couldn’t help

them because I was fearful. I take every opportunity I get to let myself change and grow.

The stepping stones that I’ve walked on have brought me along this far in life. I do realize

that I can go farther if I continue to strengthen my social skills. In my life, I have realized that I

didn’t have to do everything by myself. I didn’t have to continue to create memories that were

only about me. I want to make more friends and connections so I can perform at my best

potential. I have learned the importance of having social skills through friendships, school,

family, and people around me. My fear of talking is slowly disappearing as I grow older. I can

now spend quality time with my family and socialize with people around me. I know my

education will continue to help me reach my goal. My education has given me a voice that I can

express to others.