I revised quite a bit, I first redid the MLA format which includes the font, spacing, size.

After

that I proceeded to look for and fix any grammatical errors which were quite a bit. After I did

that I moved on to my quotes, I changed one of them and just tried explaining why I chose the

quotes that I did. I also added a little bit of context like, why this quote is relevant or what

experiences has this person had for me to be putting there quote in this essay. After this I looked

to add more information due to my essay being about a page short. I did some more research and

added a good variety to all of my paragraphs so it’s not one towering the others. I tried adding

information that was relevant with the quotes I have so that I can get it to flow a little better and

more smoothly. I than went on to my paragraph that was arguing against me and made some

small edits to make it a bit stronger so when I explained my side again it would be more

agreeable to anyone arguing against it. I also explained a bit more to make it more clear. Finally I

went on to the conclusion. I cleaned it up a bit to make the repeat of the thesis seem better and

just fixed any issues I saw with it. Finally I did one last recheck over everything like grammar

and spelling.