am i the first person to sit in a chair at the dentist?

to wait in line at the dmv?

everywhere that i am
there are people doing the exact same thing as me
looking around impatiently
or scrolling through emails
or raising their hand in class to guess
what james joyce is saying about the middle class but
these things are never universal.
we are in the same line
in the same classroom
yet nothing about me is the same and something feels wrong
about sharing these mundane moments.
but no single moment is mundane.
i am experiencing everything for the first time
with an acute awareness of every inch of space around me.
maybe this fixation stems from a need to know if anyone is watching me,
molding judgments based on the way my clothes fit or how
i can’t keep my feet still under my desk.
maybe nobody is ever watching or maybe
there is nothing abnormal about these thoughts that are
crippling me and we are all the same
trying to wade through the muddled shades
of each day, the browns and blues and yellow-grays
that trail behind each of us
and warp what is real.