Chavarria1

Marci Chavarria
Professor Batty
English 101
May 28, 2019
Reflection
My original essay is about the struggle’s students face with Bipolar Disorder in

college. When I wrote it, it had made sense to me but after reading the comments it needed some

work. I decided to take the comments greatly into consideration and change the flow of my

introduction paragraph. Throughout the semester I have learned that the introduction paragraph

is very important to the paper because it is the first paragraph you see. I’ve learned that having a

great hook will actually engage the reader to keep on reading furthermore.I also decided to stop

starting my paragraph sentences with evidence and use that for the second or third sentence in

the paragraph. I separated the evidence I found into paragraphs instead of having the evidence all

in one paragraph. I also shortened my conclusion paragraph and added what my thesis statement

was in the beginning of the paragraph. Also decided to change my title of my paper. Overall, I

think I did some major adjustments and took away sentences I felt were not necessary and

reading it again and again made more sense. I did notice that my essay was all over the place it

just needed some structure. I hope I achieved what I needed to revised my entire essay because

this topic was very important for me to write about. I felt very passionate in writing about what I

chose to write about, since I can relate greatly.