Money Can’t Buy Love, but It Can Buy Stress

What is the single most important part of your life? It’s not money.
It never has been, and it never will be. But how many times has a
disagreement about money—how to spend it, how to get it, how much is
enough—gotten in the way of your enjoyment of time with loved ones?
Put money in its place—behind what really matters to you.
“THE AVERAGE PERSON abuses money,” says Steve Rhode of Myvesta, a
fi nancial-counseling program headquartered in Maryland. He talks about
abusing money in the same way others might warn of abusing or becoming
addicted to a substance. Steve runs a program that incorporates an
emphasis on life and relationship skills, because they are nearly inseparable
from money use.
Steve warns that what makes our use of money even more dangerous
is that this use is often overlooked, treated as a frivolous situation
instead of as a problem. “Many people assume that it’s normal to be unable
to control their money. It’s not. People get stuck because they deny
that a problem exists, which holds them back from conquering their
money issues.
“People conceal their money habits, argue over money habits, let
money habits dictate who they are,” Steve says. “There is just no way to
deny that your money habits will affect your relationship.”
Steve’s message to clients is to focus on what is truly important to
them while monitoring their spending impulses. “We try to fi ll up holes
in our lives by spending money on them,” Steve says. “There’s no point
trying to fi ll the holes in your life with money, because you can keep
pouring cash in them and you will never fi ll them.”
Financial disagreements are a signifi cant source of confl ict in more than
half of all relationships. Interestingly, this problem occurs regardless of
income level. (Goldscheider 2001)