TXB Module 10c: Virtual

to Physical

by Michael Fiore

www.textyourexback.com
Copyright 2012 c by Michael Fiore and Digital Romance, Inc. All
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From Virtual to Physical

The First Date

What next?
Using everything I’ve taught you so far, you should be able to get your
ex’s attention, establish a basic emotional and physical connection, and
show that you’re emotionally mature and interested.
If you do this, and if your ex has any interest in rekindling your relation-
ship (even subconsciously) you should be able to get your ex to suggest
that you meet up. This section is about that—how to handle it if your
ex suggests a meeting, and what to do if they don’t.
I’m not going to go into a huge amount of detail here on what to do
on your actual “date” with your ex. I can’t possibly hope to do that
subject justice in a short space of time. My friend TW Jackson’s system
The Magic of Making Up does a great job of that, and you can find it at
www.textyourexback.com/magic. But I do want to give you some quick
tips to guide you on your way.
1. Try to get your ex to make the first move. You’ve heard me say this
at least 542 times, but why not hit it one more time? Your goal is
to get your ex to be the one who suggests that you get together. It’s
always more powerful and more effective if he or she comes to the
conclusion on their own that they want to see you.
2. Keep it simple and casual. No “big fancy dinners” or anything like
that. Try coffee, a couple of beers (DON’T get drunk and confess
your eternal love or try to get in your ex’s pants), lunch downtown, a
short hike or bike ride. . . something you both enjoy where you can
talk and have fun. Don’t try to be romantic. Just get together. Talk.
Be open and honest, and remember what I said before: Your old
relationship is dead. Your goal now is to create a NEW relationship
from scratch (hopefully an even BETTER one than you had before).
3. You’re dating, not going steady. If at the end of the night your ex
suggests getting together again, GREAT. You can play this however
you want (hard to get or easy to please), but again, make it simple.
You’re starting to DATE your ex here, and you need to treat him
or her almost like someone you just met. Don’t see them more
than once a week to start, make set plans, and make every date
an “event.”

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4. After your first date with your ex, go back to the cell phone. Ahh,
bet you thought the “texting thing” was done after you actually
get together in person? Nope. Check out the following section for
how to make texting work for you as you move forward in your new
relationship.

Post-First-Date Texts
After your first date, you need to keep with the program. Continue to
text as a way to share intimate thoughts and feelings, to be emotionally
honest, and to turn your ex on.
In fact, text RIGHT AFTER a date to really “secure” the positive aspects
of the evening in your ex’s mind.
There are basically three ways to do this:
• The Nice Time text
• The Sensory Expander text
• The Favorite Part text

Nice Time Texts

This is the text you send within an hour or so after saying goodnight to
your ex. It’s really basic and is just designed to let them know you had
a good time and are open to more. For example:
“I had a really nice time tonight. =-)”
Yes, I know that’s not rocket science, but it’s best to spell these things
out.

Sensory Expander Texts

This is a more detailed and sensory-rich version of the Nice Time text,
where you go into more detail with EXACTLY what you liked about the
evening. A great way to use this is if your date ended with a kiss (or
with more than a kiss).
For example:
Stephen: “Mm. I can still taste you on my lips. You’re deli-
cious. =-)”

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or
Mary: “I can still smell you. I think the smell of you got into
my clothes. I like it.”
or
Carol: “Thanks for a lovely night. Sorry if I seemed a little
out of it. Your biceps kept distracting me. It’s all I could do
not to pounce on you.”

Favorite Part Texts

This is really just a variation on some of the more “emotional” texts I’ve
given you so far. In this case, send a text giving your side of your favorite
part of the evening.
For example:
Mark: “My favorite part of the night was when you smiled at
me over the top of your glass of wine. I forgot how much I love
your smile. You’re really beautiful.”
The key here is DETAIL. Details are what’s going to make this stick in
your ex’s mind.
Michael, what if everything is going great over text, but they just won’t
ask me out?
First of all, are you sure you’re not jumping the gun? I have seen the
texting portion of this program go on for months before the other party
actually makes “the ask.” If it’s only been a few weeks, don’t worry about
it. Stoke the fire, but don’t pour gasoline on it. The more relaxed and
confident you are, the better.
Now, if things have been going along nicely for a couple of months, and
your ex is not getting the hint, here’s a sneaky trick you can use. Ready?

The Tag Along Text

If things are going well over text, but your ex doesn’t seem to be willing
to make the first move (and I’m talking after a period of a month or
more), use a “tag along” method of getting to them in person.
Send a text saying “Hey, I’m in your neighborhood with friends, come
down.” That gives your ex a chance to say yes or no without it being a
big deal. If they do come, keep it light, have a good time, and try to end
the night with a good hug.