1 INT.

STREET - NIGHT 1
Unknown person walking along dark street. It’s windy and
raining. Suddenly, a loud CREAKING sound as a tree starts to
fall. Person cowers and starts to SCREAM.

CUT TO:
2 INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT 2
A plain-looking man in his late 30s (DONALD) is sitting on a
couch. He’s wearing ratty sweats, fully engrossed in
watching Jeopardy!. A cat sits on his lap.
ALEX TREBEK (ON TV)
This Shakespeare character
proclaimed that ’all the world’s a
stage’.
DONALD
Jacque.
CONTESTANT (ON TV)
Who is Jacque?
ALEX TREBEK (ON TV)
That is correct!
Donald leans back into the couch, smug.

A LOUD knock suddenly sounds on the door. Donald ambles

over, looks out the peephole.
A sea of black hoods STARE right back at him.

Donald jerks his head back and snatches an identical black,

hooded robe from the nearby coat rack, pulling it on
clumsily. He then takes a deep breath and opens the door a
fraction. Peeks out.

DONALD
Eli! What a... surprise!
ELI and the rest of the hooded figures start filing past
into the living room. One starts petting Donald’s cat.

ELI
Donald, someone just got flattened
by a tree down the street.
DONALD
Uh...is that right?

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 2.

ELI
I assume you have a good reason for
not being there right now?
Donald casts a guilty glance at the television.

ELI (CONT’D)
(sighing) Donald, we’ve come to
give you your final warning. As of
now, you’re 9,567,920 souls behind
on your yearly quota-

OTHER REAPER
9,567,921 now, if we’re counting
the tree girl.
ELI
Yes, thank you, Phil. (to Donald)
We’ve been letting you slide for
far too many millennia now. I don’t
care how you do it, but if you
don’t fill that debt by the New
Year, you’re finished.

DONALD
What are you saying?
ELI
You’ll be joining the mortals in
the afterlife. But this time, you
won’t be able to leave. Ever. What
do you think about that?
Donald glowers at him, silent.

ELI
Good. We’ll be leaving then, as
there’s just been a five-car pileup
on the freeway. Move out!

The Reapers all whoop and race out the door. Donald slowly
lowers himself back on the couch.
DONALD
I’m in real trouble now, huh?

The cat meows balefully at him. Donald turns up the volume

of the television, faced pinched.
 3.

3 EXT. NURSING HOME - AFTERNOON 3

Donald is standing outside the building in his black robes,
trying to hand out pamphlets that say "SO YOU WANT TO COME
TO THE AFTERLIFE?" to the old people going in and out the
front doors. They all vacantly smile and/or ignore him,
until...
UNKNOWN STRANGER snatches up a pamphlet (mid 20s, brunette,
lanky, big smile).

STRANGER
This is great! Are you promoting a
new club?
DONALD
(confused) Um. No, I -what?

STRANGER
(laughing) You even have a scythe!
Dude, this is gnarly. I love it.
I’m Casey, by the way.

DONALD
Um, Donald. (beat) So...you
actually want to hear about the
afterlife?
CASEY
(smiling) Hit me.
4 INT. COFFEE SHOP- AFTERNOON 4
Casey and Donald sit across from each other, Casey drinking
coffee. Donald is still wearing his robes but with the hood
off, and looks out of place and awkward.
DONALD
...So. You work here?

CASEY
Yeah. It sucks. I don’t even like
coffee.
Donald’s gaze falls to Casey’s mug. Casey notices and waves
his hand dismissively.

CASEY (CONT’D)
Free for employees. Can’t really
turn that down, eh?

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 4.

DONALD
Guess not.

CASEY
So, you gonna tell me what your
deal is?
DONALD
Right. Well. I’m a grim reaper.
Like a real one.
CASEY
(beat) That is definitely not--.
Wow. Um. Ok.

As he says this, Casey pulls his arm slightly closer to him

on the table. Donald notices.
DONALD
You won’t die or anything if you
touch me. I just collect souls.

CASEY
Sorry. You’re just not what I
pictured you guys looking like...
DONALD
Like in the movies?
CASEY
Yeah. This is kind of comforting
actually, in a weird way. (beat)
So... what do you do for fun?
DONALD
(visibly thrown) Um. I have a cat?
And I watch Jeopardy a lot. I’m
pretty good at it.

CASEY
That’s depressing as shit. Want to
go to the beach?
DONALD
Uh. Now?
CASEY
Yeah! Can you swim?
DONALD
I’m scared of water.
Casey cracks up.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 5.

CASEY
Dude, why? It’s not like you can
drown or anything.
Casey stands up then, calling out to his coworker.

CASEY
Monica, I’m not coming in later. My
friend and I have plans.
Casey drags Donald out the door as his coworker yells.

5 EXT. BEACH - LATE AFTERNOON 5

Casey is surfing in the water. Donald is watching from the
sand, blinking at the sun, when suddenly...

ELI (O.S.)
(warningly) What are you doing,
Donald?
Donald yells, startled, as Eli appears next to him.

ELI (CONT’D)
If you’re just going to sit around
hoping for this one to drop dead,
you’re even more incompetent than I
thought.

Donald glowers, staring straight ahead.

DONALD
Why do you care? It’s months until
my deadline, remember?

ELI
I know how you like to get
attached, that’s all. Don’t let
loneliness screw you over. Again.

In the water, Casey suddenly falls off his board. Donald

sits up straight, looking worried, until Casey emerges.
ELI
I’m just looking out for you here,
Donald. Forget about this one.

Eli disappears as Casey jogs over with the board.

CASEY
You look super creepy just sitting
here watching me, dude.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 6.

DONALD
Oh, um. Sorry?
CASEY
Nah, I don’t mind. Let’s go for
food. You can eat, right?

DONALD
(beat) Yeah, I can eat.
CASEY
Awesome.
6 INT. CASEY’S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT 6
Donald and Casey are sitting on the couch, lazily eating
pizza and drinking beer. We see a calendar on the wall
reading DECEMBER. A basketball game is on.
CASEY
(casually) So, how’s the soul
collecting thing going?

Donald shifts, visibly reluctant to talk about it.

DONALD
I have it under control.
CASEY
Do you? Because literally all of
your free time is spent with me.
DONALD
(flustered) Well, if I was a bother
to you, then-

CASEY
(fondly) Shut up, you know that’s
not what I meant.
Casey sits up straight on the couch, muting the TV.

CASEY (CONT’D)
Look, I figured it out, ok? I know
how to solve everything!

DONALD
None of this is your problem.
Casey waves his words away, looking excited.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 7.

CASEY
No, no, hear me out. I know I’ve
distracted you from your job these
past few months, because I’m always
inviting you to dinner, and the
beach, and to, like, Target-
DONALD
You don’t distract-

CASEY
Dude, seriously shut up. So, I
worked out a way to help you.
Casey jumps up and goes over to the kitchen, rummaging in
the cupboards. He pulls out a handgun.
DONALD
Hold on now--
Casey walks back over to the couch, depositing the gun into
the hands of a shocked-looking Donald.
CASEY
(smug) You’re going to kill me.
Casey leans back into the couch, doing jazz hands.

DONALD
...Come again?
Casey rolls his eyes, impatient.

CASEY
Come on, man. My life isn’t going
anywhere! My job sucks. It’s
Christmas Eve, and my family isn’t
around. The best part of my week is
chilling with you. We do my plan,
you get my soul, and then you can
get going on everyone else. Plus,
you can come visit me in the
afterlife whenever, right? It’s a
total win-win!

DONALD
(still stunned) The best part of
your week is...seeing me?
CASEY
Uh, yeah, man.
Donald looks away then, still cradling the gun. He looks
unhappy. Casey narrows his eyes.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 8.

CASEY
I thought you’d be happy. I just
solved everything for you, and I
don’t even get a fucking thanks.
Donald jumps up suddenly and gestures to the tv.
DONALD
(angrily) You know what’s not in
the afterlife, Casey? The NBA!
Pizza! The beach! You’ll never see
any of that again.
CASEY
So what? You’ll be there!

DONALD
And how was this plan supposed to
work, anyway? You do know I can’t
actually kill people, right?

CASEY
That’s why I got the gun.
DONALD
It doesn’t work like that.

Casey snatches up the gun from Donald’s lap.

CASEY
Fine! Guess I’ll do everything
myself, then!

DONALD
(panicked) Casey, come on. You
don’t want this.
Casey runs over to the door, opening it as he speaks.

CASEY (CONT’D)
(yelling) I hope Eli is the one who
finds my bullet-ridden corpse,
asshole!

The door slams shut behind his retreating figure.

7 TIME CUT TO: 10 MINUTES LATER 7
Donald is still sitting on Casey’s couch, staring blankly
into space.

A knock sounds at the door. Donald stands up quickly and

practically runs over, wrenching open the door.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 9.

ELI
Didn’t I warn you about him,
Donald?

He stands aside, giving Donald a view into the hallway. The

other Reapers stand over a knocked-out Casey, blood on his
forehead.
DONALD
(scared) Let him go, Eli. I mixed
him up in this. Punish me instead.
I’m never going to make that quota.
Go ahead, banish me to the
afterlife forever. I’m ready.

ELI
Ah, but that’s no fun for anyone,
right, Reapers?
Other reapers shuffle around guiltily, looking at the
ceiling and avoiding eye contact with Donald.

ELI (CONT’D)
Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m
not going to let you go that easy.
You’ve caused all of us,
particularly me, a great deal of
annoyance these past months,
picking up your slack. So we’re
going to do the same to you. I’m
not taking you now. I’m going to
bide my time. And when you’re
having a grand old life with him,
that’s when I’ll come for you, tear
you away from everything you care
about when you least expect it.
I’ll--

There’s a sudden cough from the Reapers.

OTHER REAPER
(hesitantly) Boss... I’m missing a
murder on Ridcon Street right now.
The dude’s using an axe.

ELI
And? It’s not like he’s going
anywhere anytime soon!
Eli turns back to where Donald was standing, but he isn’t
there. Looking down the hall, we see Donald’s robe
disappearing behind the closing stairwell door. Casey is
gone from the floor.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 10.

ELI
For fuck’s sake. Look what you did
now!
He starts to go after them, but is stopped by a hand on his
shoulder.
DIFFERENT REAPER
No offense, Eli, but I think we all
know we’ve been fighting a losing
battle with Donald for centuries.
I’m out.
REAPER #3
(timidly) Maybe you need a new
hobby other than Donald.

They all begin to back sheepishly towards the door.

ELI
Fuck off, then! See if I care!
Eli leans against the wall, annoyed. He spies Casey’s gun
where it had fallen, and picks it up, thoughtful.
ELI
(to himself) I’m coming for you,
Donald.

Tapping the gun against his palm, he suddenly fumbles,

shooting a bullet into the wall right next to his head.
ELI (CONT’D)
...obviously not with this,
though.

8 INT. UNFAMILIAR KITCHEN - NIGHT 8

Donald is standing against the sink, wearing new jeans and a
plain shirt. Casey is drinking coffee and dancing horribly
to Christmas music.
CASEY
Dude, how are you just standing
there?

DONALD
Free will, I guess.
CASEY
Hilarious. If you’re not gonna
dance, rinse my cup out for me.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 11.

Donald sighs but takes the mug, smiling. As he turns to the

sink, a movement catches his eye outside. He leans closer...
CASEY
(suddenly) Looking at the snow?

Donald startles, jerking his face back from the glass.

CASEY (CONT’D)
I hadn’t seen it in forever,
either. Warmer weather always
seemed to suit me more.
Donald visibly winces.
DONALD
I know, Casey, I--God. It’s all my
fault, you wouldn’t have had to
move if I hadn’t--
Casey dismissively flaps his hand around, interrupting.
CASEY
I told you, dude. I’d be good
wherever with you.
Donald looks dubious, but still reluctantly pleased.
Casey takes out his phone, and turns up the volume of the
music. He starts dancing again.
CASEY
(to Donald) Live a little!
DONALD
Ugh.
Casey laughs and laughs.
CUT TO:

9 EXT. DONALD AND CASEY’S APARTMENT - NIGHT 9

A scythe pokes out the top of a bush. Underneath, two eyes
are fixed on the kitchen window, through which we see Casey
and Donald moving around.

The eyes blink at the camera, and vanish into the dark.