FUROPEANA 3. Patrik Ourednik “Translation by Gerald Turner Dalkey Archive Press Neral London ze:91 6002-bZ-AON 6G/T0'dAmericans who fell in Normandy in 1944 TH were ral men measuring 173 centimerers on average, and if they were laid head to foot they would measure 38 kilometers. The Germans were tall too, while the tallest ‘ofall were the Senegalese fusiliers in the First World War who measured 176 centimeters, anil so they were sent into battle on the front lines in order co scare the Germans. It was said of the First World War that people in it fell like seeds and the Rassian Communists later calculated how much fertilizer a squate kilometer of corpses would yield and how much they would save on expensive foreign fertilizers if they used the corpses of traitors and criminals instead of manure. And the English invented the tank and the Germans invented gas, which was known as yperite because the Germans first used it near the town of Ypres, although apparently that was not ‘ruc, and it was also called mustard because it stung the nose like Dijon mustard, and that was apparently true, and some soldiers who returned home after the war did not want to eat Dijon mustard again. The First World War was known as an aw 6002-P2-AON gp:or 69/20'dImperialist war hecause the Germans felt that other coun tries were prejudiced against them and did not want to let them become a world power and fulfill some historical mis- sion. And most people in Europe, Germany, Austria, France, Serbia, Bulgaria, etc. believed it to be a necessary and just war which would bring peace to the world. And many people believed that the war would revive those virtues thar the modern industrial world had forced into che background, such as love of one’s country, courage and selfsacrifce. And poor people looked forward to riding in a train and country folk looked forward to seeing big. cities and phoning the district post office tm dictate a telegram to their wives, 1M FINE, HOME YOU ARE TOO. The generals looked forward being in the newspapers, and people from national minor tes were pleased that they would be sharing the war with people who spoke without an accent and that they would be singing: marching songs and jolly popular dities with them, And everyone thought they'd be home in time for the grape harvest or at least by Christmas. Some historians subsequently said that the twentieth century actually started in 1914, when war broke out, because it was the first war in history in which so many countries took part, in which so many people died and in which airships and airplanes flew and bombarded the rear and towns and civilians, and sub- ‘marines sunk ships and artillery could lob shells ten or twelve kilometers. And the Germans invented gas and the English a invented tanks and scientists discovered isotopes and the general theory of relativity, according to which nothing was rmetaphysical, bur relative. And when the Senegalese Fusiliers first saw an airplane they though it was a tame bird and one of the Senegalese soldiers cut a lump of flesh from a dead horse and threw itas far as he could in order to ture it away. And the soldiers wore green and camouflage uniforms because they did not want the enemy to see them, which was modern at the time because in previous wars soldiers had ‘worn brightly-colored uniforms in order to be visible from afar. And aitships and airplanes flew through the sky and the horses were terribly frightened. And writers and poets endeavored to find ways of expressing it best and in 1916 they invented Dadaism because everything seemed crazy to them. ‘And in Russia they invented a revolution. And the soldiers wore around their neck or wrist a tag with their name and the number of their regiment to indicate who was who, and where ro send a telegram of condolences, but ifthe explosion tore off their head or arm and the tag was lost, the military ‘command would announce that they were unknown soldiers, and in most capital cities they instituted an eternal flame test they be forgotten, becouse fire preserves the memory of something long past. And the fallen French measured 2,681 kilometers, the fallen English, 1,547 kilometers, andthe fallen Germans, 3,010 kilometers, taking the average length of a corpse as 172 centimeters. And a total of 15.508 kilometers of soldiers fll worldwide. And in 1918 an influenza known as oI 6002-P2-AON 2p:9t 9/60'd