ISFD 24

CARRERA: Profesorado en Inglés

TERCER AÑO

PERSPECTIVA: Lengua y Expresión Oral III

PROFESOR: Lic. Hernán Piperno

AÑO LECTIVO: 2019

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DIALOGUES

FOR

PRACTICE

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Pre-reading activities:

 Do you enjoy fairy tales?

 Were you told any fairy tale as a child? Which one/s can you remember?
 How appealing are fairy tales in the technological era?

Three Little Pigs by Roald Dahl

The animal I really dig,

Above all others is the pig.
Pigs are noble. Pigs are clever,
Pigs are courteous. However,
Now and then, to break this rule,
One meets a pig who is a fool.
What, for example, would you say,
If strolling through the woods one day,
Right there in front of you you saw
A pig who'd built his house of STRAW?
The Wolf who saw it licked his lips,
And said, "That pig has had his chips."
"Little pig, little pig, let me come in!"
"No, no, by the hairs on my chinny-chin-chin!"
"Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in!"

The little pig began to pray,

But Wolfie blew his house away.
He shouted, "Bacon, pork and ham!
Oh, what a lucky Wolf I am!"
And though he ate the pig quite fast,
He carefully kept the tail till last.
Wolf wandered on, a trifle bloated.
Surprise, surprise, for soon he noted
Another little house for pigs,
And this one had been built of TWIGS!

"Little pig, little pig, let me come in!"

"No, no, by the hairs on my chinny-chin-chin!"
"Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in!"

The Wolf said, "Okay, here we go!"

He then began to blow and blow.
The little pig began to squeal.
He cried, "Oh Wolf, you've had one meal!
Why can't we talk and make a deal?
The Wolf replied, "Not on your nelly!"
And soon the pig was in his belly.

"Two juicy little pigs!" Wolf cried,

"But still I'm not satisfied!
I know full well my tummy's bulging,

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But oh, how I adore indulging."
So creeping quietly as a mouse,
The Wolf approached another house,
A house which also had inside
A little piggy trying to hide.
But this one, piggy number three,
Was bright and brainy as could be,
No straw for him, no twigs or sticks,
This pig had built his house of bricks.

"You'll not get me!" the Piggy cried.

"I'll blow you down!" the Wolf replied.
"You'll need," Pig said, "a lot of puff,
And I don't think you've got enough."
Wolf huffed and puffed and blew and blew.
The house stayed up as good as new.
"If I can't blow it down," Wolf said,
I'll have to blow it up instead.
I'll come back in the dead of night
And blow it up with dynamite!"
Pig cried, "You brute! I might have known!"
Then, picking up the telephone,
He dialed as quickly as he could
The number of red Riding Hood.

"Hello," she said. "Who's speaking? Who?

Oh, hello, Piggy, how d'you do?"
Pig cried, "I need your help, Miss Hood!
Oh help me, please! D'you think you could?"
"I'll try of course," Miss Hood replied.
"What's on your mind...?" "A Wolf!" Pig cried.
"I know you've dealt with wolves before,
And now I've got one at my door!"

"My darling Pig," she said, "my sweet,

That's something really up my street.
I've just begun to wash my hair.
But when it's dry, I'll be right there."

A short while later, through the wood,

Came striding brave Miss Riding Hood.
The Wolf stood there, his eyes ablaze,
And yellowish, like mayonnaise.
His teeth were sharp, his gums were raw,
And spit was dripping from his jaw.
Once more the maiden's eyelid flickers.
She draws the pistol from her knickers.
Once more she hits the vital spot,
And kills him with a single shot.
Pig, peeping through the window, stood
And yelled, "Well done, Miss Riding Hood!"

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Ah, Piglet, you must never trust
Young ladies from the upper crust.
For now, Miss Riding Hood, one notes,
Not only has two wolfskin coats,
But when she goes from place to place,
She has a PIGSKIN TRAVELING CASE.

After reading:

 What themes are dealt with in the poem?

 How different is this version from the traditional ones? Do you like this one better or
worse?
 Would you use this version with your students? Why? Why not?

Pre reading activities:

 Do you enjoy reading? If so, what are your favourite genres?

 When do usually read?
 How important is reading for a teacher to be?

Reading aloud from a novel

She studied the diplomat carefully. He was a tall, handsome and still young.
‘I think I’m falling in love with you,’ she said.
They smiled at each other.
‘I’ll get you another drink,’ she murmured.
When she was behind him, she paused only for a moment. Then, with one quick, skilful and
crushing blow, she broke his neck, took the secret documents from his briefcase, and left. It was
what she did for a living -and she was very good at it.

After reading:

 What’s the woman’s job?

 Why are thrillers so popular?
 Do you agree that this is a genre for the mass culture?

Mrs. Newel

D: Where’s the pain, Mrs. Newell?

Mrs. N: Here, Doctor. In my chest.
D: I see. Here?
Mrs. N: Yes, Doctor.
D: Does it hurt when you cough?
Mrs. N: Yes, it does.
D: How long have you had it?
Mrs. N: Six or seven weeks.

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D: Six or seven weeks? As long as that?
Mrs. N: I think so.
D: Have you tried taking anything – for your cough, I mean?
Mrs. N: Well – the usual honey and hot lemon. And then, I bought some cough syrup.
D: Did it help?
Mrs. N: No, Doctor. That’s why I’ve come to see you.

After reading:

 Do you usually administer yourself some medicine when you have a minor health
problem? Is that a good idea?
 Have you got any health insurance or you usually go to state health centres?
 Have you ever had a major health problem?
 Discuss different domestic accidents people may suffer.
 What do you do to keep fit?
 Would you say you lead a healthy life all in all?

On the train

That must be a good book you’re reading.

You said that last time.
Did I?
Yes. Now, what did you really want to say?
Well… ever since I first saw you last Friday, I’ve wanted to ask you…
Ask me what?
I… well, I don’t know where you work or when you finish, but…
Yes?
Could we meet some evening? Have dinner perhaps?

After reading:

 What is happening in the dialogue?

 Have you ever been involved in a situation like this?
 What are the pros and cons of going steady with someone?
 What’s your ideal partner like?
 Talk about different strategies to seduce somebody. (Discuss the expressions: hit on sb. –
pull- chat sb.up – give sb. the brush off)
 Have you ever been on a long-standing relationship?
 Should people cohabit or get married?
 Do children influence on a relationship

You… you must be tired

You… you must be tired.

No, not really. I’m looking forward to getting to the hotel and having a shower, though. Then
we’ll have dinner.
Dinner? But…

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Yes, we’ll have dinner first. Then we’ll discuss business matters
But… I thought you would have had dinner already.
Hmm? Where?
On the plane!
On the plane! I never eat that kind of plastic food, Miss…Miss… uh…
Winters
And what was your first name again?
Jane.
Good. I’ll call you that, then… if you don’t mind.

After reading:

 What’s the relationship between these two people?

 Why should one of the speakers be tired?
 What means of transport do you prefer to take? Why?
 How will transportation change in the future?
 Environment wise, which is the most and least convenient means of transport and what
changes should be made?

But Tony!

Lisa: // but TOny// surely you REALised// Everybody would be wearing SUITS// a
job like THAT// SUCH a good SALary// with SO much responsiBILity// you
OUGHT to have known BETTer than to wear jeans//
Tony: // don't reMIND me// i KNOW it was STUPid//
Lisa: // well WHAT was the PROBlem// i KNOW// you've GOT a suit//
Tony: // oh, YES// i've GOT one// it was at the CLEANer's//
Lisa: // it was WHERE //
Tony: // at the CLEANer's// it still IS//
Lisa: // you're HOPEless// here you ARE// with the CHANCE of a LIFEtime// to
get eXACTly the job you WANT// you have ALL the right qualifiCAtions// a LOT
of exPERience// NO family TIES// and when the DAY of the interview
aRRIVES// YOU'RE in the INterview room// and your SUIT'S in the
CLEANer's//
Tony: // i KNOW// i KNOW //
Lisa: // WELL// WHAT HAPPened// did you forGET to GO for it// lose your
TICKet// or WHAT//
Tony: // NO// but i ASKED saMANtha// to pick it UP for me// and they GAVE
her the wrong ONE// by the time i got BACK to the SHOP// it was CLOSED//

After reading:

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  What was Tony’s blunder?
 Have you ever been in a job interview?
 What advice would you give to somebody who’s about to have one?
 What’s the situation regarding getting a job in your country?
 Have you ever been on the dole?
 How important is a pension scheme for you?

A Loan
Bank Manager: So, you’re interested in some sort of loan, Mr. Marsden.
Jack Marsden: That’s right. You see, I want to raise enough money for a deposit on a small
flat.
Bank Manager: Do you mean to buy?
Jack Marsden: Yes. I don’t want to go on renting.
Bank Manager: I see. Do you think you can get a mortgage?
Jack Marsden: Yes. I’ve seen about that. You see, I’ve got a secure job with a good salary.
Bank Manager: Is the flat for yourself? Will you be living there alone?
Jack Marsden: Yes. For the moment, anyway. Why? Does that make any difference to the
loan?
Bank Manager: No, no. Just interested. That’s all.
Jack Marsden: Do you need to know anything else? I’ve brought my contract with details of
my salary.
Bank Manager: Good. Yes, fine. And have you any securities? Shares in any companies?
Insurance policies? Things like that.
After reading:

 Is it easy to get a loan in your country?

 What other alternatives are there to buy a property?
 What is your ideal type of house?
 Would you rather live in the city, the outskirts or the countryside?

In a book shop

I had no idea it was going to take so long. I feel like dropping the order.
I’m sorry. I didn’t know at the time that the book was reprinting.
Reprinting?
Yes, it was out of stock, but the publisher is doing a new edition.
And when will that be ready?
We’ll have it in the shop early next month.
Oh, I see. Well, I’ve waited for it this long, so I suppose I can wait a little longer. Could you
phone me as soon as it.

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 Monologue 1

You know, a lot of people find this sort of situation quite frightening. Terrifying, in fact. Anyway,
the light’s still on. Oh –spoke too soon. What is happening, I wonder? And the trouble is, I’m not
sure there’s anyone left in the building, now. I’ll try the telephone again, if you like, but I should
think it’s not working. And, as I say, I’m not sure even if it is there’ll be anybody there. Now, this
bottom button’s the alarm, I seem to remember. No. doesn’t ring. Can’t, I suppose, if there’s no
power. There is that little seat in the corner, you know, if you’d like to sit on it. No, sorry, that
corner. Ouch! No, it’s nothing –just my foot. My fault entirely. Well, you can tell I know this thing
pretty well. Should do. I’ve worked here for twenty years. Never replaced it –though they service
it, of course. Afraid I haven’t got any sandwiches or anything. I do have some on the way up, of
course. Well, the canteen isn’t very exciting, is it? And it’s very expensive, don’t you think? We’re
supposed to be going to the theatre, actually. Ballet. Used not to like ballet, but somehow I seem to
be getting used to the idea in my old age. Prefer it to opera, in many ways. Alice has always been
keen, of course. Oh –one thing to remember is that there’s no problem about air: well you can feel
the draught yourself, can’t you? One advantage of being old-fashioned, I suppose. I say –aren’t you
whatsisname’s new secretary? He’s a lucky chap. You should see mine. Anyway, shall we both
just give one more shout?

After reading:
 What’s the man’s attitude? What can you say about his personality?
 What’s odd about the situation?
 Have you ever been in a similar situation? How did you react?

Monologue 5

I know there’s nothing I can do about it. Of course I can’t put it back again! But surely I have the
right to let off steam a bit, don’t I? I mean I told him, didn’t I? I told him! Just a bit here, I said.
Just a little bit here, and just the tiniest bit there. And nothing at all of here. Nothing. Well, then I
closed my eyes, as I always do. That’s part of the satisfaction, I always think –it’s, well, it’s
relaxing. But he kept on snipping and snipping and suddenly I came out of my daydream and looked
in the mirror. Ugh! Well, I told him what I thought of him, I can tell you. I mean if it’d been my
first time it would’ve been different. But I’ve been going for months, and it’s always been perfect.
Anyway, never again! And don’t try to tell me it’s not too bad because it’s terrible –you know it is.
Look at it! Just look at it! You can smile if you like, but I’ll tell you one thing: we’re not going this
evening –or at least I’m not going. I can just see their faces if I did. I can just see your sister’s face,
especially. Anyway they’d prefer to have you on your own. And you know what I think of your
mother’s cooking. Tell them I’ve got a cold. Well, I soon will have, won’t I?

After reading:
 What can you say about this lady’s personality?
 What can we infer about her partner’s personality?
 How important is the way you look? Is it the same for men and women?
 Have you ever been in a similar situation? How did you react?

Monologue 7

Well, why shouldn't I be quiet? And why shouldn't I be shy? And if you say I am pretty, why
shouldn't I be? People always seem to think that anybody in my position has to be bossy and

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aggressive -but there are plenty of men who aren't. And nobody thinks they can't cope. Mind you,
it's taken a long time to convince them I know what I'm doing and that I mean what I say. But it's
coming along very nicely now and even the accountant seems to accept me. The deputy manager
has done from the start -he's been marvellous -and not in the way you think. What I mean is he's
just accepted it as a normal thing and judged me on my merits. However, to come to the point: it
wouldn't work, would it? I know you're the best man in the business in your line, and I know you're
just what we need. And I know the deputy manager has said O.K. perhaps if I'd known you were
you and you'd known I was me, things would've been different last night -though I've no complaints.
But on this, I do mean what I say -and it is my decision.

After reading:

 What type of woman does she seem to be?

 If you could do any job, which would you choose?
 What qualifications and skills would you need?
 What personal qualities would you need?
 What considerations are important for you when choosing a job?
 What are the pros and cons of working from home?

Pre reading activities:

 Imagine you could take six months off work or college to do something else. How would
you spend the time?

Alan and Louise

Listen to this dialogue. In the transcript below, underline the words which you think are most
noticeable.

Louise: How about over here, by the cathedral door?

Alan: Um… Yes, yes… but… Um… Just a bit further to the right, I think. No, sorry. I mean to
my right.
Louise: Over here?
Alan: Um… No, no. Sorry. That’s not quite right. Um… Now come over to the left.
Louise: To the left…
Alan: A bit further to the left. Now, a bit further back.
Louise: How is this? Is this all right?
Alan: Um…Now, can you move close to the wall? No, no, no. Not so close. Not as close as
that. Otherwise, you’ll get a shadow in.
Louise: How about this?
Alan: That’s right. That’s just right.
Louise: Take it then.
Alan: Um…Turn slightly towards me. Your head slightly towards me.
Louise: Right?
Alan: Um… No –only slightly towards me. Now lift your face up. Just a little. Not right up.
You’ll get the sun in your eyes then and you’ll start to squint.
Louise: O.K. Like this?
Alan: Yes, that’s right. Yes, like that.
Louise: Here
Alan: No. Not quite like that.

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Louise: Oh, come on, Alan.
Alan: Well, relax. Relax. Ok. I’m getting ready now. I’m just… You look a bit tense. I know
you feel tense. But you needn’t look tense. How about a smile?
Louise: Like this?
Alan: No. Can you make it a more natural smile?
Louise: Oh, come on, Alan. This is getting very boring.
Alan: Oh, now the sun is going in. Yes. It’s gone in. Well, I’ll have to wait until it comes out
again.
Louise: I told you. You always do this.
Alan: It’s only a few seconds to wait.
Louise: You always ruin a photograph because you take so… make so much fuss about it.
Alan: Now, here’s the sun again. Now, exactly as you were before. No, exactly as you were
before.
Louise: Like this?
Alan: That’s right. Smile. There! Lovely!

After reading:

 Have you ever met somebody like Alan? What 3 adjectives would you use to describe him?
 What is the best way to travel round a country you’re visiting?
 Is it better to travel alone or with other people?
 What are the advantages of staying with a host family in the country you’re visiting?
 What are the benefits of studying English in an English-speaking country rather than in
your own country?

Sue, there you are!

Mike: Sue, there you are. Have you got time for a little chat?
Sue: Of course. What is it, Mike? Is something wrong?
Mike: No, not really. But I’d like your advice.
Sue: I’ll help if I can.
Mike: Well, you remember Miguel – who stayed with us last summer?
Sue: No, but I remember you telling me about him. He was very keen on sightseeing, wasn’t
he?
Mike: That’s right. Well, I got a letter from him this morning and he’s invited me to spend a
holiday with his family this year. They’ve got a villa on Ibiza – and they’ve got a boat.
You know how crazy I am about boats.
Sue: Mike, that’s marvellous. What a wonderful opportunity for you!
Mike: Yes, but it’s not that simple.
Sue: What’s the problem?
Mike: It’s Celia. You see, we’ve both been saving up like mad to go on a trip together this
year.
Sue: Ah, I see. You don’t want to disappoint her, of course.
Mike: That’s right. She’d be so upset. She’s been doing all sorts of jobs in her free time. She
really deserves this holiday. It seems so unfair.

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Sue: Look, Mike. First, you must tell Celia about your invitation. She’ll appreciate your
problem. But why don’t you tell Miguel about the plans you had already made with
Celia. He might even suggest…

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So it was all a huge success.

John: So it was all a huge success.

Pat: It was fantastic!
John: Hey, Look. There’s Tony. He looks a bit fed up. Tony. Hey, Tony.
Tony: Oh, Hello, John. Pat! I thought you were in Paris.
Pat: Well, I was. I’ve been back a few days now.
John: How are you, Tony? And how’s your precious sports car?
Tony: Don’t talk to me about it. I wish I’d never seen it!
Pat: Oh, Tony. It’s a lovely little car.
Tony: It’s not, you know.
Pat: But you were so pleased with it…
Tony: Oh, yes. I was. It was just what I’d dreamed of. A bit old, but in marvellous condition.
And it was very cheap.
John: Exactly. I remember. I told you at the time I was a bit suspicious. But you didn’t listen.
Tony: Yes, I did. I thought I was lucky for once.
Pat: You were lucky, Tony. Last time I saw you, you said it was so reliable.
Tony: Well, yes. It seemed reliable. For a month or so. But since then it’s been in the garage
more than on the road.
John: So, where is it now?
Tony: At the central garage. I’m hoping to pick it up first thing tomorrow.
John: They’re expensive there.
Tony: Actually, they’re not. But they’re not efficient, either! It was supposed to be ready on
Monday.
Pat: Monday! But tomorrow’s Thursday. Come on, cheer up, Tony. You’ll have it for the
weekend.
Tony: Not necessarily. Every time I go or ring they’ve found something else that needs doing.
Last weekend was bad enough without it. But this weekend is really important.
Samantha said…

The Big Bang Theory: transcript.

-Sheldon. Sheldon?
-I want a cookie, Meemaw.
-Sheldon, it’s me.
-But Meemaw just made cookies.
-Listen, I don’t know if I can go on the expedition.
-What? I don’t think I can go to the North Pole.
-O.K. Leonard, I know you are concerned about disappointing me, but I want you to take comfort
from the knowledge that my expectations of you are very low.
-Yeah. That’s very comforting.
-Comforting is a part of leadership. It’s not a part a care for, but such is my burden.
-Terrific. It’s just that I don’t think Penny wants me to go.
-Assuming that’s a valid reason not to go, which it isn’t, how do you know this? Did she say it?
- Not exactly. But she said she was gonna miss me and she gave me this.
-What is it?
-It’s a blanket with sleeves.

Language and Oral Expression III 13

-Oh, that’s clever. Let me see if I understand this correctly. Her missing you, is an emotional state
you find desirable.
-Yes, obviously.
-All right.
- Well, giving that missing you is predicated on you leaving, logic dictates you must leave.
-Yes, O.K. but I’m gonna be gone for three months. What if she doesn’t miss me that long and
she meets someone else.
-She does have a short attention span.
- So, I can’t go.
- Leonard, you may be right. It appears that Penny secretly wants you in her life in a very intimate
and carnal fashion.
- You really think so?
- Of course not. Even in my sleep deprived state, I’ve managed to pull off another one of my
classic pranks. Buzzinga.

SNOW-WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS

when little Snow-White’s mother died,
The king, her father, up and cried,
‘Oh, what a nuisance! What a life!
‘Now I must find another wife!’
(It’s never easy for a king
To find himself that sort of thing.)
He wrote to every magazine
And said, ‘I’m looking for a Queen.’
At least ten thousand girls replied
And begged to be the royal bride.
The king said with a shifty smile,
‘I’d like to give each one a trial.’
However, in the end he chose
A lady called Miss Maclahose,
Who brought along a curious toy
That seemed to give her endless joy-
This was a mirror framed in brass,
A MAGIC TALKING LOOKING-GLASS.
Ask it something day or night,
It always got the answer right.
For instance, if you were to say,
‘Oh Mirror, what’s for lunch today?’
The thing would answer in a trice,
‘Today it’s scrambled eggs and rice.’
Now every day, week in week out,
The spoiled and stupid Queen would shout,
‘Oh Mirror Mirror on the wall,
‘Who is the fairest of them all?’
The Mirror answered every time,
‘Oh Madam, you’re the Queen sublime.

Language and Oral Expression III 14

‘You are the only one to charm us,
‘Queen, you are the cat’s pyjamas.‘
For ten whole years the silly Queen
Repeated this absurd routine.
Then suddenly, one awful day,
She heard the Magic Mirror say,
‘From now on, Queen, you’reNumber Two.
‘Snow-Whiteis prettier than you!’
The Queen went absolutely wild.
She yelled, ‘I’m going to scrag that child!
‘I’ll cook her flaming goose! I’ll skin ‘er!
‘I’ll have her rotten guts for dinner!’
She called the Huntsman to her study.
She shouted at him, ‘Listen buddy!
‘You drag that filthy girl outside,
‘And see you take her for a ride!
‘Thereafter slit her ribs apart
‘And bring me back her bleeding heart!’
The Huntsman dragged the lovely child
Deep deep into the forest wild.
Fearing the worst, poor Snow-White spake.
She cried, ‘Oh please give me a break!’
The knife was poised, the arm was strong,
She cried again, ‘I’ve done nowrong!’
The Huntsman’s heart began to flutter.
It melted like a pound of butter.
He murmured, ‘Okay, beat it, kid,’
And you can bet your life she did.
Later, the Huntsman made a stop
Within the local butcher’s shop,
And there he bought, for safety’s sake,
A bullock’s heart and one nice steak.
‘Oh Majesty! Oh Queen!’ he cried,
‘That rotten little girl has died!
‘And just to prove I didn’t cheat,
‘I’ve brought along these bits of meat.’
‘The Queen cried out, ‘Bravissimo!
‘I trust you killed her nice and slow.’
Then (this is the disgusting part)
The Queen sat down and ate the heart!
(I only hope she cooked it well.
Boiled heart can be as tough as hell.)
While all of this was going on,
Oh where, oh where had Snow-White gone?
She’d found it easy, being pretty,
To hitch a ride in to the city,

Language and Oral Expression III 15

And there she’d got a job, unpaid,
As general cook and parlour-maid
With seven funny little men,
Each one not more than three foot ten,
Ex horse-race jockeys, all of them.
These Seven Dwarfs,though awfully nice,
Were guilty of one shocking vice-
They squandered all of their resources
At the race-track backing horses.
(When they hadn’t backed a winner,
None of them got any dinner.)
One evening, Snow-White said,
‘Look here, ‘I think I’ve got a great idea.
‘Just leave it all to me, okay?
‘And no more gambling till I say.’
That very night, at eventide,
Young Snow-White hitched another ride,
And then, when it was very late,
She slipped in through the Palace gate.
The King was in his counting house
Counting out his money,
The Queen was in the parlour
Eating bread and honey,

The footmen and the servants slept

So no one saw her as she crept
On tip-toe through the mighty hall
And grabbed THE MIRROR off the wall.
As soon as she had got it home,
She told the Senior Dwarf (or Gnome)
To ask it what he wished to know.
‘Go on!’ she shouted. ‘Have a go!’
He said, ‘Oh Mirror, please don’t joke!
‘Each one of us is stony broke!
‘Which horse will win tomorrow’s race,
‘The Ascot Gold Cup Steeplechase?’
The Mirror whispered sweet and low,
‘The horse’s name is Mistletoe.’
The Dwarfs went absolutely daft,
They kissed young Snow-White fore and aft,
Then rushed away to raise some dough
With which to back old Mistletoe.
They pawned their watches, sold the car,
They borrowed money near and far,
(For much of it they had to thank
The manager of Barclays Bank.)

Language and Oral Expression III 16

They went to Ascot and of course
For once they backed the winning horse.
Thereafter, every single day,
The Mirror made the bookies pay.
Each Dwarf and Snow-White got a share,
And each was soon a millionaire,
Which shows that gambling’s not a sin
Provided that you always win.

CINDERELLA

Iguess you think you know this story.

You don’t. The real one’s much more gory.
The phoney one, the one you know,
Was cooked up years and years ago,
And made to sound all soft and sappy
Just to keep the children happy.
Mind you, they got the first bit ri
The Magic Fairy heard her shout.
Appearing in a blaze of light,
She said, ‘My dear, are you all right?’
‘All right?’cried Cindy. ‘Can’t you see
‘I feel as rotten as can be!’
She beat her fist against the wall,
And shouted, ‘Get me to the Ball!
‘There is a Disco at the Palace!
‘The rest have gone and I am jalous!
‘I want a dress! I want a coach!
‘And earrings and a diamond brooch!
‘And silver slippers, two of those!
‘And lovely nylon panty-hose!
‘Done up like that I’ll guarantee
‘The handsome Prince will fall for me!’
The Fairy said, ‘Hang on a tick.’
She gave her wand a mighty flick
And quickly, in no time at all,
Cindy was at the Palace Ball!
It made the Ugly Sisters wince
To see her dancing with the Prince.
She held him very tight and pressed
herself against his manly chest.
The Prince himself was turned to pulp,
Allhe could do was gasp and gulp.
Then midnight struck. She shouted, ‘Heck!
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‘I’ve got to run to save my neck!’
The Prince cried, ‘No! Alas! Alack!’

Language and Oral Expression III 17

He grabbed her dress to hold her back.
As Cindy shouted, ‘Let me go!’
The dress was ripped from head to toe.
She ran out in her underwear,
And lost one slipper on the stair.
The Prince was on it like a dart,
He pressed it to his pounding heart,
‘The girl this slipper fits,’ he cried,
‘Tomorrow morn shall be my bride!
‘I’ll visit every house in town
‘Until I’ve tracked the maiden down!’
Then rather carelessly, I fear,
He placed it on a crate of beer.
At once, one of the Ugly Sisters,
(The one whose face was blotched with blisters)
Sneaked up and grabbed the dainty shoe,
And quickly flushed it down the loo.
Then in its place she calmly put
The slipper from her own left foot.
Ah-ha, you see, the plot grows thicker,
And Cindy’s luck starts looking sicker.
Next day, the Prince went charging down
To knock on all the doors in town.
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In every house, the tension grew.
Who was the owner of the shoe?
The shoe was long and very wide.
(A normal foot got lost inside.)
Also it smelled a wee bit icky.
(The owner’s feet were hot and sticky.)
Thousands of eager people came
To try it on, but all in vain.
Now came the Ugly Sisters’ go.
One tried it on. The Prince screamed, ‘No!’
But she screamed, ‘Yes! It fits! Whoopee!
‘So now you’ve got to marry me!’
The Prince went white from ear to ear.
He muttered, ‘Let me out of here.’
‘Oh no you don’t! You made a vow!
‘There’s no way you can back out now!’
‘Off with her head!’ The Prince roared back.
They chopped it off with one big whack
In the kitchen, peeling spuds,
Cinderella heard the thuds
Of bouncing heads upon the floor,
And poked her own head round the door.
‘What’s all the racket?’ Cindy cried.
‘Mind your own bizz,’ the Prince replied.
Poor Cindy’s heart was torn to shreds.
My Prince! she thought. He chops offheads!
How could I marry anyone

Language and Oral Expression III 18

Who does that sort of thing for fun?
The Prince cried, ‘Who’s this dirty slut?
‘Off with her nut! Off with her nut!’
Just then, all in a blaze of light,
The Magic Fairy hove in sight,
Her Magic Wand wentswoosh andswish!
‘Cindy!’ she cried, ‘come make a wish!
‘Wish anything and have no doubt
‘That I will make it come about!’
Cindy answered, ‘Oh kind Fairy,
‘This time I shall be more wary.
‘No more Princes, no more money.
‘I have had my taste of honey.
‘I’m wishing for a decent man.
‘They’re hard to find. D’you think you can?’
Within a minute, Cinderella
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Was married to a lovely feller,
A simple jam-maker by trade,
Who sold good home-made marmalade.
Their house was filled with smiles and laughter
And they were happy ever after.

Language and Oral Expression III 19

Language and Oral Expression III 20