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Daisy Chen

Writing 2

Professor McHugh

30 June 2019

A Musical Lesson

“Leave all your theories behind and let your emotion fly,” Auntie Jill, my piano teacher

and my host mother in America, insisted. She reached her arms out high as if she was about to fly.

I looked at Alice, the German Shepherd Auntie Jill adopted three years ago, trying to get some

inspiration. Alice, resting next to the piano, stared back at me. Her bewildered eyes reflected my

same confused face. It seemed ridiculous that my nine years of studying the skills and music

theories about piano did not do much help when I was only trying to craft a story based on one

single music piece. I struggled with my barren imagination.

I started to play piano when I was four years old. I chose to pursue my further study abroad

during my high school year. At first, I thought that piano may temporary fade away from my life

since I was in a foreign home. Luckily, my host mom was a piano teacher. She invited me to

continue practicing piano with her with full enthusiasm and I accepted with alacrity. Under her

guidance, I recollected my memories about music theory and the feeling of my fingers dancing on

the keyboards quickly.

However, as for Auntie Jill, I still had a long way to go because there was one significant

piece missing in my interpretation of music.

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December 12, 2017 was the day when Auntie put in that last piece of the puzzle which

deeply branded in my mind. It was a typical Tuesday night, and I was playing “River Flows in

You”.

“No, no, no, stop right here! You are missing something, don’t you think? Tell me what

message this music wants to express,” Auntie Jill asked me.

“Umm… I think…I mean,” my rusty brain surrendered and asked the internet for help. I

took out the phone in my pocket and searched this music piece on Wikipedia. Acting like a repeater,

I read out the words showed on the internet. The room absorbed my monotonous voice and became

pale.

“Oh Jesus, just stop there please,” Auntie Jill said, shaking her head with her furrowed

brows. She looked like as if she just swallowed a whole gallon of expired milk.

“Daisy, you are the one who is playing the music now. You need to think about how the

music relates to yourself and establish a connection with it. Different pianists interpret the same

music piece in subtle difference because they express their own emotions. Yes, you should do

adagio here, but to what extent? Each individual does it differently. It is our own uniqueness which

gives music soul and makes it special. And that is exactly what we value here in America, your

own worth! It is all about YOU, Daisy! It is your own unique interpretation! Leave all your theories

behind and let your emotion fly,” Auntie Jill emphasized. Her small “lecture” tugged my

heartstrings because I never thought about myself in my piano playing. Then, Auntie Jill

challenged me to think about a personal story or use imagination to create a story that fits the music

I play.
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The task did not start smoothly in the beginning. I bit my lips involuntarily and stared at

the music sheet with my brain in a chaos. All my memories about myself seemed to be covered

with a layer of tulle. And I looked like the person who tried to see things through the mist. It is

hard for me to think of an event in my life because after so many years, a lot of my memories just

faded away. “Aren’t those tempo symbols a way to show the emotion of the music? The music

sheet has presented everything on it! What is the meaning of thinking about how this relates to me!

I am not a storyteller after all,” I roared in my mind and stroke the keys with full strength. The

huge discordant chord sound carried my complaining and seemed to ignite the room. Alice was

jarred awake by this huge shock and ran to the corner with an unhappy growl. I have been trained

to focus on the skills and to perform everything on the music sheet correctly and professionally for

nine years. I believed that I followed all the markers and rhythms showed on the music sheet

correctly and that was enough. Thus, I felt that I was doing something completely useless and I

got frustrated.

This feeling also reminds of my math class in America. When I also faced frustration

caused by doing something, at least as for me at that time, senseless. I remember it was

summertime and we were in a review session for AP Calculous. The heat wave outside weakened

the air conditioner in the classroom. In this hot and dry environment, I felt impetuous and became

more worried about the upcoming test. And I was waiting for my teacher to cover one specific

problem that I did not know how to solve.

“I understand how you get the correct answer, but I use my own way and get a different

one,” my classmate eagerly raised his hands up high and asked. He stopped the teacher from

continuing to the problem that I was waiting for!

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“Oh, we still have time! I would love to see your procedure,” my teacher then pushed up

her glasses and pick up her marker briskly, staring back at that student with a gleam in her eyes

and waiting for him to say his method. She looked like a child who was waiting for the curtain of

a show to open. Even the deep wrinkles on both the forehead and the corners of her mouth seemed

to be full of excitement. And they started a boring discussion.

I gazed dumbly at the whiteboard and hit the table with my pen rhythmically, trying to

rescue myself from this meaningless discussion and wondering why they are willing to spend time

on those trivial matters. Can’t they just follow the answer key and move on to the next question?

I was waiting for the answer the whole class! I tried hard to suppress my urge to roll my eyes. At

that moment, I had the same frustration because I felt that it is a waste of my time. Why people

here always force me to do something completely useless? What is the meaning of doing the

discussion when we already know the correct answer? What is the meaning of connecting with the

music when the instructions have already been written on the music sheet?

However, I still need to face my task. I dragged my body to my room and decided to record

those special events and write down how I feel at that moment to help me better recollect my

memories. Flinging myself onto the bed without turning the light on, I started to recall the nearest

special moment which was the time when I was at my farewell party before I went to college in

America. Surrounded by darkness, I took a deep breath, trying to throw myself back to the

memories in this mysterious vibe.

Closing my eyes, the faces of my parents, my friends and my relatives flashed through my

mind. Instead of looking sad because of my departure, big smiles lit up their faces. Their eyes were

bright as stars and firm as irons. “We believe that you can do well there,” they said. And I could

tell that they were full of confidence in me and were proud of me.
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“That’s it!” I shouted out loud. I jumped out of bed to turn the light on and sat down in

front of my desk to write down what I saw in my memory and how I felt. Then, I noticed the family

picture on my desk with my self-made frame during art class, a warm feeling gushed from the

bottom of my heart. I felt that I was able to connect my feelings with “River flows in you.” The

music piece sounds sad in the beginning and it is in accord with my homesick and loneliness when

I need to overcome all the difficulties by myself. However, the rhythm becomes brighter and

lighter. This change is the same as how my family’s and friends’ trust motivate me to face every

challenge. The river which flows into my heart and moisturizes me symbolizes their love and faith

in me. It encourages me to become stronger and braver.

Sweeping the haze around me, I ran to the piano. A new world of piano playing was

unfolded in front of me after I understood how to build the connection with music. Before that,

every time I played the piano, I felt like I am programming on a computer. I sat in front of the

piano stiffly. My back was straight up and fixed and my eyes were occupied with those marks and

notes showed on the music sheet. My brain worked far beyond, calculating how much strength I

should use to hit the note or where I need to play faster. Now, I have my own understanding of the

music and my piano playing is raised to a sentimental level. Recalling how I first felt helpless in a

new environment and then be driven forward by the love and expectations from my family and

friend, my emotions took control of my interpretation. My hands rippled over the keyboards and

my body was like a dandelion, leading by my fingers to dance with the music. I used my piano to

convey my mood. After I finished this song, I recognized that even my smile did not fade away

from my face. I was immersed in the world created by my emotion and memory.

I rushed upstairs and showed my notebook to Auntie Jill with an . “Are you ready to read

a more interesting answer to your question than the internet version,” I gasped with excitement.
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Could not wait her to finish reading my story, I brought her to the piano room. Alice seemed to

realized that something fun was about to happen and followed us.

I sat down in front of the piano and started my performance with ardor. I knew that I looked

like a kid who tried to show off her fancy gift in front of the crowd.

“There you go! You got that connection with the music! I can feel you! See, even Alice is

not sleeping this time!” Auntie said delightedly. Her eyes reflected the same gleam as my math

teacher when she hears different methods from students. Indeed, even Alice was not sleeping or

muttering. She stared at me as if she could understand what I want to express.

Showing my own emotions in the music empowers my piano playing to become more

engaging. I no longer need to cram up all those different marks on the music sheet in my brain,

making me stressed like a tight string. All I need to do now is to find the resonance between me

and the music. Before I start to play a piece of music, I will listen to the tape first. When I am

listening, I start to connect myself with the music. And with the help my documents of those special

moments in my life, it becomes easier for me to think of a story of myself. Music becomes my

words to tell my experience and to express my own unique feelings to my audience. I inject life to

music. In return, music helps me to realize that I have such a wonderful life by pushing me to recall

those details and special moments in life.

The uniqueness of an individual that Auntie Jill taught me not only changes my attitude

toward music playing but also improves my ability to acquire knowledge. I come to understand

that the reason why my math teacher is willing to discuss problems with students is because she

loves to see every student’s thought and critical thinking being reflected through his or her answers.
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Because of my recognition of the importance of presenting oneself, now I would not keep

myself out of the discussion with whiny complaining during the math class. I was more willing to

express and exchange my thoughts. I remember the first time when I spoke in math class. It was

winter, and the cold weather failed to freeze our brains. As we advanced to higher level of math,

the materials were harder and required more brain exercises. We were struggling with homework

questions because sometimes we even could not understand the process provided in the solution.

“I think the answer key gives us a more complicated way to solve the problem and I figured out a

short cut,” I said.

“Wow, we have a new member join our messy discussion today! Let’s hear it,” my math

teacher pushed up her glasses and smiled.

During the discussion, some students pointed out several small logic mistakes in my

method. However, we brainstormed and fixed them together and did find out an easier way to

solve the problem.

“Boom! The magic of math! Wasn’t that fun,” my math teacher opened her arms and said.

We all laughed and looked like people who just reached the summit and saw the gratifying and

picturesque view. And that was the time when I realized the meaning of the discussion. Without

the help of other students, I would never notice my mistakes and realize the correct method. The

collision of our different thoughts is the charm of the discussion.

From then on, when learning a concept, I no longer try to memorize and follow the tough

definition given in the textbooks. Simply doing rote learning does not help me to understand.

Similar to piano playing, I will think about how this could be applied to my daily life actively and

use my own words or experience to memorize it. Sometimes I will even draw pictures to help me
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to visualize it. Thus, I could transform the author’s knowledge into my own and fully absorb it.

By doing this, my memory of that specific concept lasts longer.

I used to lock my uniqueness by only obeying the instructions both in my piano playing

and academic learning. Now, I open myself and make inanimate music and knowledge vivid by

putting my own value into them. Everyone is unique in their own way. Instead of following the

masses or the instructions blindly, we should express our own thoughts and to question things

courageously.