"Terence's pivotal existential crisis came abruptly. Sometime in '88 or '89.

Everything that happened after that event was fallout. I don't know exactly when it
happened and I don't know exactly what happened. I am piecing it together from what
Kat has told me and she has volunteered few details and I am reluctant to probe. It
happened when they were living for a time on the Big Island and it was a mushroom
trip they shared that was absolutely terrifying for Terence. It was terrifying
because, for some reason, the mushroom turned on him. The gentle, wise, humorous
mushroom spirit that he had come to know and trust as an ally and teacher ripped
back the facade to reveal an abyss of utter existential despair. Terence kept
saying, so Kat told me, that it was, "a lack of all meaning, a lack of all
meaning." And this induced panic in Terence and probably, I speculate, a feeling
that he was going mad. He couldn't deal with it. Kat's efforts to reassure him were
fruitless. After that experience, he never again took mushrooms and he took other
psychedelics such as DMT and Ayahuasca only on rare occasions and with great
reluctance."