Cony © 1964 by Ele Eateries I Conia © 1992 by Nei Simon ALL RUGHS RESERVED un Peo so ms ey waned a DARETOOT DY ee eres lly pte ter he capita TE Pak neta OY Ect cdg Se ae Se Til ly lig vi oS ct an palo Fede oe tn fy eed gr ae prtc igo DAREFOOT THE DAR en nous of escaion PLEASE NOTE tat sc a iar crc er Ped Se aie, a meg eet ih re pe ea te 0 Sea Hw Se oe ts Sar i yn ca 90 Fyn Tapani Hoo, Oso, ha a ‘Royalty of the required amount zoust be paid whether the play is presented for chavity o gain and whether or not ad sion inched se et eo ch be PEATME Seite nina ey Nin Nis Le cet ama pti carr sea Sd 0 can a wing on Sali an wi in wily fin yo ea en an Mer ot engi po omens aS cea Fes pom oo stent Tic an al omar aaionre ayaa of orion by wich Ue cop of re ight to api hs play may be ype Fiore sal mak ny change ipl ore ape op Palisa oF Bi ply des sok ply sash for pefomonee, Boh eaeicam al profesional coidening 4 peduton a sng) adel in rey eso apt to Semel Hea lee, forte ren. perison Pere tang esta, aversing of Doky ene iol in 3 Ya Osmo No part af Hur bok may Be sepodaced, rl i pan red in xf, y ay, bro a 1 be ni | oes hail clesenc, phtoiphiag, caning, “iSeping Sibi, waout her prin pesto fhe ublibr, TAN 0575 6OSE5 Danis USA BAREFOOT IN THE PARK, by Neil Simon, directed by Mike Nichols, was presented by Saint Subber at the Biltmore Theatre, N.Y.C,, Oct, 28, 1963. CAST OF CHARACTERS Conte Bearzen seseseeBlisabeth Ashley Herbert Edelman Joseph Keating seeseeressssRobert Redford Conte's Morten, Mrs. Bans s- Mildred Natwick ~Kurt Kasnar ‘Teureuowe Reparm Maw .. Deuivery Maw... Paut Bearrer ..... Victor Verasco SYNOPSIS OF SCENES ACT ONE The top floor of a brownstone on East 48th Street New York City, About 5:30 on a cold February afternoon, ACT TWO Scene 1: Four days tater, About 7:00 P.M. Scews 2: Later that night, About 2 A.M, ACT THREE ‘The following day. About 5.00 P.M.Barefoot in the Park ACT Scenr: A large one-roors apariment on the top floor of a old brownstone in the East Forties off Third Ave~ rue. The room is barren. A ladder, canvas drop cloth, ‘and @ couple of empty point cant stand forlornly in the center of the room. There is a huge skylight which pours the bright February SUNSHINE glar- ingly into the room. Through ihe skylight we can see the roofs and windows of Brownstones across the strect and the jramework of a large building under construction. Crests of clinging snow can be seen in the two windows under the skylight, At Stage Right, there is the entrance door, a step below the apartment itsel}. At Stoge Left, four steps lead to @ raised area from which two doors open, the Upstage ane leading to a bathroom, tke Left one to the bed: room. Although we can't see much of the latter, we will soon learn that it isn’t really @ bedroom. IV's a dressing room, about 5' = 4". The bathroom has no tub, Just a shower and a sink and what have you. On another raised section Up Right is the hitchem. It's not really a kitchen. IPs just an old stove, an older refrigerator and a chipped sink that stands nakedly Between them. Lipstage Lejt of this arca is another Platform on which stand a steomer trunk and a few suitcases. The room has just been freshly painted. Not carefully, maybe not pro} There is a small Fronkli below the platform, and an open lounstage Right. Completing ‘the fuonishines of the room ae 4 railing that runs Downstage of the entrance wall, and @ radiator that sits high on the Upstage Left ‘wall. For alt the room’s drabness and coldness, there 5is gras promise here. Someo til ond personality can ok test we ol drenm about Ax Ruse: That person is now f cng Fe sand eyelet i coat, ‘She carries @ bougu lees. After putting the to the door, busses back, ‘dor and shouts down. Leh flowers down, and then opens Cone, Hello? {From the depths, possibly from the bottom of the earth, ‘we hear a VOICE shout up.) into the refrigerator.) ~ (From below, the VOICE ogain, this time @ little closer.) (Contz rushes to the door again and shouts down.) Conte, Up here! You have another floor to go. (Crossing back to the open suitcase she takes out three act BAREFOOT IN THE PARK , small logs and carries them to the stove. As she drops them in front of the stove, the voice oppears at the door. A tall, heovy-set Man in his mid-thir- ties, in a plaid wool jacket and baseball cop and Breathing very, very hard.) Man, Tel— (He tries to catch his breath.) Telephone Company. Conse. Oh, the phone. Good, Come on in, (He steps in, corrying a black leather repair kit.) Man. That Conn. Yes, front stoop. Max. I counted the front stoop. (Breath, breath, He looks at his notebook.) Paul Bravter, right? Come, Mrs. Paul Bi MAN. (Still checking back.) Princess Cont. The little one? That lights ‘Maw. The little one. ... (Breath, up... . (Breath, breath.) In beige. Swallows hard.) uite a— (Breath, breath.) quite a climb. five fights. If you don't count the hing yet. ‘MAN. A glass of water's fine. Conte. (Suddenly embarrassed.) . . . Expect I don't have a glass either. ‘MAN. Ob! ’s arrived yet . . . You could put your schlurp. ‘Max. No, V'm okay. Just a litle out of shape. (ds he stifly climbs up the step out of the well, he groans with pei er laking abou.) Where do. you want the e? Conte. (Looks around.) The phone. . . Let me see + Gee, I'don't know. Do you have any ideas?tat IF Sat kata pe, ces, opens t00t box) You're rally : on . L mean, every day? irs.) Mind it... 21 this apart ines into bedroom.) We does discourage people. tives, me when they have to Com, OF 1 hope tha’ th Man. Tdon't want (0366 (ns a sae sti) (From Below, « Vorce:) Voce, Lord and Taylor. 9 2 (Shrugs and takes the now- us it into the closet b,x.) Probably ‘dding gift . . . From my mother, She sends me wedding gifts twice a day an electric heater. (He Blows on Ais (Worried, she feels the steam pipe next to the closet.) Really? Ts it cold in here? She gets wp om stairs ond ‘come right up. coming up. 1S these old brownstones for way. It's @ medi bad for you. ‘Man. Yeah? In February? Conme, (Crossing to him.) Just put it dowa anywhere. (The Dri AN pride the packages down, panting. He wonts #0 talk but ci ‘his hond to the TrexpHoNE MaN jor a bi Max. T know. T know, Conte, I'm awfully sory about the stairs. (Phe Dz- Man takes out a fad and pencil and holds them limply towards Corte.) What ink he wants you to sign wes. (She signs it quickly.) Walt, just a bicks up her bog from where she had left the kitchen area and takes out some change.) Here you go... (Ske puts it in his He nods weakly ‘and turns't0 go.) Wil ht... ? (dad forfi SPaUt's Voice. 7 ning. Tm coming, : ing. (She se ato pone) Hes coming. e's comin pu ts phon ct ook Tivoueh eorway” and tangs om purtnant. Pah 26, He caries 0 hey su the gy con Bea. oveetheat git or on) Ob, Paul Self (She ste back) Say some- (Breathing with great dial Looks back down ie ey Wee ae fights Did you know Ws sx Bights? i Conte. tint. W's Bie. se stages: up the step into the room, and coh, IE suteose) Wat about that bie ting Sanging ease te ug Suse Thats not a flight. I's a stoop. Sa Miso lke stop a climbs Tike a aight, (Breath, breath. “etna Le tat oll yor have to say? i aut: (Gasping) 1 didn't think Td get tbat muck ou (ie breathes. hast ix Hight when T first saw the apartment. ) Why is that? ‘Soxie, You didn't see the apartment. Doa't you Te member, the woman wasn’t home, You saw the third floor Dat vee aor. Then that's why. eee Poet Crorsng above Pawn.) You don't tke i. You really don’t like it, BAREFOOT IN THE PARK 3 1 (He squints around.) Vm just waiting for my eyes to clear frst. Cont, I expected you to walk in here and say, “Wow.” aii, Lexponte y bere and say, “Wow, nee.) I T promise you, Y home too soon. (Waseles Patt.) Pavt. You know I missed you. Conte, Did you really? Pav. Right conferees I “omit. That's marvelous. (Chey ss.) Oh, boy. Let’ take a cab Back to the Plaza. We stil have eo bess before check-out time We took a towel and two ash ta We're hot. (He hisses her. a ae six days at the Placa? What's the trick? Conmr. (Gets up and moves away.) But that was a ‘honeymoon. Now we're on a regular schedule. I thought come home tonight, and we'd shake hands and (She extends her hand to him.) (Rises.) “Blow do you do. (They shake hands. Then Conse throws herself into his ‘arms and hisses kim.) What does that mesn? . .. Something's hap- et Something wont» Ur. Its not positive yet. The office is call and let me kngw in Bie minutes. PSS Cont. (Then she remembers) Ohl ‘They calledact Baur. When? 2 ey’te on the phone now. Com. Now — Theyre on, the pho mds up. He Phe lider) id you hear? (Moves xp ladder bling with joy. Cone Did you hear? ... Di aves Te otto be i owgot my gras Cem Me co gover he bret. Mar bein Washington temoerow and ‘my case, (He hugs rth Prank but is ceally myo coms) 0 Cote, Psbughe oe were Oe ee ight together. (Crosses tovplling and gas atachd case.) 1 hope T brought thare to small switcase.) acrt BAREFOOT IN THE PARK as Pave. (Looking through afidavits from case; his mind ‘as now turned completely legal.) Marshall bad every- 8 laid out when I was at the office... . Tt looks He enough. A farrier is suing @ woman for non-pay. Conte, (Taking nightgown out of suitcase.) I was going to cook you spaghetti with the white clam sauce... in a bikini. re representing the furrier. He made four fed coats for this woman on Park Avenue, ‘twant the coats, ise, and slipping ker arms through the nightgowh strops, she drapes it over her.) Then T ing on Eighth Street, It's a crossword uzzle with dirty words. Pavt, But the f f wt get rid of the coats. She's hhave to sell them to a rich foot eight. He mre. Then I was going to put on a record and do an authentic Cambodian fert Pavt. The only trouble 't have a signed contract . . . (Conte begins her “fertility dance” and ends up collapsing om the bottom step of the ladder.) What are you doing? Conn, Y'm trying to get you all hot and bothered and you're summing up for the jury. The whole mariage is Pau. (Aoves to Com (Puts Bis arms o ‘You want me to be rich and famous, do Conm. During the day. At night T want you to be here and ses Pau. I Sump! Tomorrow night is your every - Something wil Paut. I promise, Conte. (Eyes wide open.) Like what?16 BAREFOOT IN THE PARK ACT T Pavt, Well... Til come home early and we'll paper each other. ‘Oh, Paul, how wonderful . . . Can’t we de 0, we can't do it tonight, because lonight T've and looks around.) Except where do ‘Comte. The furniture will be here by five. They prom- ised, "Paut. (Dropping afidavits into case, looks at his 1's fi (Crosses to bedroom joomingale’s tonight? ‘Contr. They'll be ‘They're probably stuck im traf (Crossing up to 6 ) And what about to- row. Maybe we should come. I'a sleeping in my apartment PauL, Where? Where? (Looks door, and starts to come back dow room for one in the bathtub. back up steps and opens door to the ‘Where's the bathtub? Conte. (Hesitantly.) There is no bathtub. Pave. No bathtub? Corts, There's 2 shower ‘Pave, How am I going to Conte. You won't take a bi Pavn, I don’t ‘am I going to take a ‘Conts. You'll lie down in the shower and hang your wer the sink. ... I'm sorry there's no bathtub, Pavt. (Closes door, and crosses down into room.) I the «(He suddenty Tt’s nice ent is empty, 's warm out here, bbe all right ance I have to keep the the landlord . band Save Monday Wednesdays, and Fridays. aces eo, Vou ean we ene ST Saturdays? ses Elaine Cont, you st you always have a case in court in the ture wl be Here. In the meant aa light che stove and you canst over the fre sith yout i aks anda shaw Abra Tce Siete Sen at om vt Ls that supposed to be funny? (Begi oe cae stb) ve funny? (Begins to in- E. No, Tt was suppose toe nas18 BAREFOOT IN THE PARK Coste, They're closed. I looked. Pav, Then why is it windy in bere? Com. (Hover nfo Patt) T don't feel a draft. (Moves aay from windows.) Tdida't soy drat ind... There's brisk, northeasterly wind blow- ‘ng in this room, ‘Corte. You don't have to get sa ie (Cooking up, PavL. How's this for an answer? There's a hole in the skylight, (He points up.) Conte, (She looks up, s0 barrassed by it.) G aor. (Boves fo before. Conte. (Defensively. Crosses to the railing and gets der coat.) All right, Paul, don't get upset. I'm sure ie ith something for tonight ets up om lader.) Tow? Tow? Thav’s twenty You'd have to fiy over in a plane and drop (Putting on coat.) T's only for one night. And ie not that cold, Pavt, In February? Do you know what it’s three o'clock in the moming? In February? Ice-cold freezing. Conis. It’s not, going to be freezing. I ‘weather bureau. It’s going to be cloudy with a (She catches herself and looks up.) Pavt, What? (Comme turns away.) What? . . . A light what? Conte. Snow! Paut. (Coming down ladder.) Snow?? . . . T's going to snow tonight? . .. In here? Conte, They're wrong as often as they're right. Pau. 'm going to be shoveling snow in my owa living room. 19 le hole. Pac, With that could blow six-foot drifts im Corie, I don’t see kow you can se me, Tt’s only natural ts her arms around him.) God. 1 hope we starve. And wy in each other's arms, on ‘ ‘Frozen. ski ers found ou 48th Street.” Ee inny found on 48th Street.’ Cons ‘ love again. (They hits opcin, a passionate embrace,) a ener ea (The DOORBELL busces.) Cone, (Breaking away.) The bed. I hope it’ ona, (Brea 1. L hope it’s the bed. (Sle buzzes back, and then opens door and yells down.) of and slipping into Blouse.) wait. Just one mere day fidavits back into case.) Corie, you've ve ETON -e without furniture, isn’t it? She’ ith Cit? She'sact Wutee Ceitree to door ond yells down stirs.) UP tone (Crases bere Me casein comer sof windows.) low am ‘to work tonight? E EE ee 5 ‘She'll think this 1e way perro got "s are Like gypsies in an empty store, (tempting 90. (Throwing nightgown and lngric into suites) od She'll sit there in her fur yet you, Ce Bien Now , Mother Ther about ‘enous (Crossing to is Jace) Not sure wat my oer ST acme : Pau), Conve you We a fins stl her its hundred Conte. Sixty? ‘aut. What? PAUL, Anyone Wo ‘twenty-five that's har sort BAREFOOT IN THE PARK Com. She's Pau, [ can't Pat, (Grabs her.) Just promise me one let her stay too long because I've got a— Conte. (With hint.) —case in court in the morning . . . know . . .” (She opens door and goes into hall.) 0 the room and grabs fer late fortes, yp but has not bothered to look after hersel} these past jew yeors. She could use @ permanent and @ whole new wardrobe.) Pavt. (Rushes to support her.) Hello, Mom. (The Morsren struggles for air.) Mormrr Oh! .. Oh! . . . T can’t breathe, Conte, Take it easy, Mom, (Holding her other arm.) ‘Morte. ean’ sath « But there were always more stairs, Conre, Paul, help her. Pavi, Come on, Mom. Watch the step. (Starts to lead ser up the step into the room.) Morneen, More stairs? (She steps up.) (Conir and Paur. tead Morner towards Paut’s suitcase, ‘tll standing near the weal.) Conre. You want some wat Morstax. Later. I can’t swallow yet. t down (She sits on suitcase.) Moruen. Oh, my.BAREFOOT IN THE PARK cr ‘bad really... What Morssex. | didn't think I'd make it . . . 1f Yd known the people on the third floor I'd have gone to visit them... (Pawn sits on the bottom step of the ladder.) yy Hudson Parkway Bridge. It’s no extra trouble abt. Sounds easy enough. Moraes. Ves Conse. We were going to ask you over on He kills her with a gl jormun. Besides, Aunt Hariet is ringing the L one good look around ack. hhave come an hour later, After Morar. (Gets 4p, looks and stops cold.) Don't worry. Te got a marvelous imagination, Come. Wall... ? Morne. (Siunned.) Ob, Corie . ful Mother? I mean + And there's so Morster. Where? Pave. One fight up. sen. (At bedroom door.) That's a wonderful idea, ‘And you cat ‘bed in there. Moree, How? (Raut moves to the steps.) fit, I meaeured the room.4 BAREFOOT IN THE PARK = act ‘Morieea. A double bed? Cosze. No, an oversized single. Moriter. On, they're nice. And where Paul sleep? Conte, With me. Pauw. (Moves ding.) In an oversized single? Moraer. 1 Il be comfortable. Corre, I'm (Pave moves back down stairs and glumly surveys the room.) Momuex, It's a wonderful idea, Very clever Conte, Thank you. ‘Morar. Except you can’t get to the claset, Corre. Yes you can. Conit. No, you have to climb over the bed. ruen, That's a good idea. ‘crosses to ladder hing’ just,temporary. As they say in MeC ic won't really take stiape bntil the bride's own personality ‘becomes more clezely defined. Morten. I think its you right now. (Turns to other door.) What's in bere - 2 (Opens door and tooks in.) (Closes door.) No bathtub. - You really have quite s lot hore, for one room. (Moves down steps.) And where's the litchen? (Sees stove and refrg erator, stops im horror and then crosses towards hitchen.) ‘Whoo, there itis. Very eozy. Tsuppase you'l eat out alot the frst year Conte, We're never cating out, IU big enough to make spaghetti and things. ‘Morse. Wha Cours. Ts'a dish T Mother, we won't starve. anni. T know, dear. (Under skylight.) I's chilly in here, Do you fee a drait? aut. (Looks 1p.) Uh, stand over here, Mom. (over her azvay from hole and near steam pipe nezt to the gs ake, called “Things.” Honestly act BAREFOOT IN THE PARK 2s Con, What you need isa drink. Paul, wby doa't down and get some scotch? a ve ‘aon, Now Moran (Crossing towards frantlin stove forme eving na few minute Fuot. Ob. She's leaving in few minute, Conte. She can stay for one ik. not (Pavt quietly argues with Monts, There's 20 much you can do in here Lats of wall space, What color sre you going to pain i Corie. It's ited. bic ater 9 atractve, Pact. (Looks of watch.) Wow. Neatly six, Morner. Tye Ce to ul you have a dink... (Pe Pave scotch. eerie (He continues to argue with her.) Moras, All ti Pavr. Geod Morten. Button up, deat. It ¢ Paut. I’ve noticed that. Conn, And get soine cheese, (Pave is gone.) Mornsn, Pol’ (Pao eapears othe dor Morea eclnds her orm) T ft waa Soe ay a fa wish him ik. (Psy Cones WES at fie ear to onan Sie es ony one ome ccutly bea 108 pero He pe toe Povo ue apa Pow. Ob... than, Mom Morten Pies you doe Pacts Like it? (He lots of Con ond sats text. Where ce can you find anyting ee TH ‘event ve city ee & mont as26 BAREFOOT IN THE PARK acr (Conte and Morar are alone, Conte climbs down the ladder, and looks for some sign of approval from ‘Morexn.) Coase, Well? ‘Morane. Oh, Corie, I'm so excited for you. (They embrace.) you were joking ‘Coste, He's happy with me. T think Why? Monster, I worry about you two. You're s You jump into life. Paul is like me. He looks fi dour on Suitcase.) Const. He doem't look, He stares. That's the trouble Pletely out of my Moree. Why should you think that, dear? Conn. Well, it’s the first thing I've ever done on my belp . ‘m sure you would have ‘And T understand. you do, Mother. It’s something 1 just had to do all by myself. ‘Moras. Corie, you mustn’t think T'm burt. I'm not * get burt. actt BAREFOOT IN THE PARK ar Conte. Good . . . Hey, let’s open my presents and see shat I've got. And you try to act surprised. (Gets pres- ents and Brings thers down to paint cas.) raz. You won't let me buy you anything . . . Ob, they're just a few little things, Cons. (Sitting down and shaking smallest box vigor- in here. It sounds expensive. fell, now I think a regular now. (Looks at clock, pu a2.) ‘Harriet was with me when I picked it thinks I'm over here every day now. Corre, You know you're weleame, Mot finds in package, closes open final package. Paper and smooths it out on her lap.) Moruen. woman living alone, ing in the world las ‘package open and takes out the dis- is of a coffee pot.) Hey, does this come with is kitchen, it would have ick and takes it with portsgets married. You'll see ‘doesn't deprive you of ‘Pim not dep ‘Mormzn. I didn't say you were. Morn.) Ves, you did. Con. Because I think you should spend the money on yourself, that's why. (Fellows Morse.) you're five minutes from the city. ‘Moreee, Who cin get through that trafic in five minutes? Moraer, Where - the whote ‘you travel? 1¢ luggage. All you need are the You think Motsr.) I prom- off @ ship, someone would ‘Morarn. I thought I might get myself a job. act BAREFOOT IN THE PARK 2» Conse, (Strais in the wind.) Hey, that’s a great ides. (Sits on paint can.) Morse, (Shrugs, defeated.) What would 1 do? Conte. T don't know what you would do. What would you like to do? Morn. (Considers.) Ud like to be a grandmother. T thins that would be nice. ‘Conte. A grandmother? .. . What's your rush? You know, underneath that Army uniform, you're sila young, vital woman... Do you know what I thiak you really need? Mormex, Yes, and I don't want to hear it, (Gets up ‘ond moves away.) Con. (Goes fo her.) Because you're afraid to bear the truth. Morar, It's not the truth I'm afraid to bear, It’s the - Thank you. Cont, A week ago T didn’t know what it meant, And then T checked into the Plaza Hotel. For six wonderful days . . . And do you know what happened to me there? ‘Morn. I promised myself I wouldn’t ask. Conte. I found fove . . . spiritual, emotional and phys I Tove. And T don’t think anyone on earth should be without it, ‘MorseR. I'm not. I have you. Conrz. I don't mean that kind of love. (Moves to ladder and leans against it.) T'm talking about late at night in. . ‘Morar. (Quickly.) I know what you're talking about. Conte. Di i ‘Morar. Not with you in the room. Conre, Well, what are you going to do about it? ‘Moraes. I'm going back to New Jersey and give my- self a Toni Home Permanent. Corie, sweetheart, I appte- ate your concern, but I'm very happy the way T am,30 BAREFOOT IN THE PARK act t Conm. I'll be the judge of who's happy. (They em- brace.) swith the bottle int and wearily exhausted.) Just ‘Aunt Hareizr’s Pe got to £0. for the World Premiere «. «Vm so sorry. iil ‘see you on Friday fer.) ‘Thank you (Pavr shuts door and, breathing hard, puts bottle down ‘at foot of the ladder. He moves x, turns, and glares ‘The bathtub? (Pacx shakes kis new? (PavL nods his hea PAUL. (Leaning against Conse. Paul, I can't guess, Corie. Take a wild stab at it, Try neighbors dre crazy.” ighbors crazy? pitchman’s revelation.) 1 just bad an ine teresting talk with the man down in the liquor store ‘we kave some of the greatest weirdos in the ly? Like who? on kitchen plat- PAUL. (Gathering his strength, paces x.) Well, like to act BAREFOOT IN THE PARK 31 start with, in Apartment 1C are the Boscos . .. Mr. and Mrs. J. Bosco. (Moving to ladder.) Who are they? Paces 1.) Mr. and Mrs. J. Bosco are a lovely ple who just happen to be of the same sex and 1ows which one that is . .. (Moves up t0 tof indows.) Tm partment 3C live Mr, and Mrs, Gonzales. ‘Conte. So? Pact, (Moves x, above ladder.) I'm not through, Mr. and Mrs, Gonzales, Mr. and Mrs. Armandariz and Mr. Calhoun"... (Turns back to Conte.) who must be the umpire. (Moves 1. to x. of ladder, very secretively.) No ‘one knows mho lives in Apartment 4D, No one has eome that way, we're gett airs, turns. Ba Conm, Where's 6A? (Pavt. points straight up.) On the roof? Pat, i rosses up onto bed- room landing.) He also skis and climbs mountains, He's &8 years old and e's known as "The Bluebeard of 48th ae Comte. (Moves to stairs.) What does that mean? Pat. (Turns back ‘that hi Where are you going? Pavt. (Turns back at bedroom door.) Vm going to32 BAREFOOT IN THE PARK act the bedroom and work. T've got to pay for all and charm. Tf anything comes up, like the fof the heat, let me know. Just let me know. (Bows of into bedroom an: Conse. (4 to fold up ladder and put ‘wall.) Can't T come in and watch you? Tm lonesome . . . (There's KNOCK ai ‘seared! against the wall, Victor if very hard, opens the ‘such good thing tired. There are too many other things to do in the worl. He wears no top coat, Just 0 sport jacket, en ascot, ond @ Tyrolean hat, Conte turns and is stortled to find hinsin the room.) Vetasco, I beg your pardon. (Sweeps off his kat.) 1 hope I'm not disturbing you. I d ly do this Sort = No, not yet. wnt to’ use your bed- Conse. Bfy bedroom? Vatasco. Yes. You see, I can’t get into my apartment and I wanted to use your window. Tl just crawl out along the on ge. . Oh, did you lose your key? Vetasco, No. I have my key. T lost my money. Um four months behind the rent, ee, that's too bad. I mean it’s right leant, a5 time goes by in this middle income prison camp, that we havea rat fink for a land- BAREFOOT IN THE PARK 33 (Looks about the room.) You don’t have any do you? I'd be glad to pay you for it, Cont. No. We just moved Vetasco. Really? (Looks about the barren room.) ‘What are you, s folk singer? Corre. No.'A wife... They didn't deliver our furni- ture ys on it, My bathtub's been running since 1949 . . . (Aoves towards Conte.) Does your husband work during the day? Comm. Yes... Why... ? Vezasco, It's just that I'm home during the day, and like (o find out what my odds are (Sorulinises Conm.) Am T making you nervous? Comm. (Moving away.) Very nervous. VELAsco. (Highly pleased.) Good. Or 1a month, I try fo keep may ego pelgaess Neko ey ba Ba nhl Pete Diy ad men sem tog may ae eR en emo guy wiBAREFOOT IN THE PARK Vauasco. Damn. . « Cone. What's wrong ? Vetasco. Under my present state of financial duress, I ‘was hoping to be invited down soon for a free meal. But with newlyweds I could starve to death. we'd love to have you for dinner, as Vitasco. (Gets up, and stepping over suitcase, moves to Conse.) I hate generalizations. Conte. Whe lay? Is that all right? be famished. I hadn't planned on Cor wait! On Friday night my mo— (Thinks it over.) Yeah. Friday night will be fine. Vetasco. It’s a date. I'l bring the wine. You can pay me for it when T get (Bfoves to stairs.) Which Ten o'clock . Contr. Yes, of course. Vexasco, Good. Bring liquor. takes her hand.) do, you? Everything in (Crosses to raised radiator on the veall.) For there's a little knob up there that say So you turn left. ( f ‘of physical pleasure. One, + (Puts his arms around her, and kay? ig 10 turn knob.) 1 can't quite PAUL. (Comes out of the bedroom with affidavit in and cont up over his head. Crosses to head of the stairs.) Tey, Corie, when are they going to get here with—? (He stops as he sees Contr in Vztasco’s arms.) crx BAREFOOT IN THE PARK 35 asco Looks at kim stunned, while Cont remains tationless in the air.) Cont down.) I thought you said! he works during the day. Con. Ob, Paul! This is Mr. sie. Mr. Velasco was just tel plumbing works backwards. is, you have choice bit of information, (Crosses up onto bedroom landing ll for you in the morning. I'm corator. (Pats Pau on shoulders.) TACT IL Scene 1 Scere: Seven o'clock, Friday evening. Four room. although Tejada toon a abe gets int : ond. prices is. exire (Baur turns and sees VELAsco. VeLasco cheerfully waves care. Since Coxut’s ‘and continues om his wa.) : nd as much designed the room CURTAIN dark, wooden coifee in front 0} the sofa, and to the Je, covered The kitchen orea is now partially hidden fold bamboo screen that has been Gand pe ‘have been ple 37BAREFOOT IN THE PARK act now itchen, pictures ‘and decorations fed on the walls and lamps placed abou The bed- has niow been graced with a bentwood washstand complete with pitcher and basin now filled ih a plant. In the bathroom a shower curtain and is have been hung, and the bedroom now boasts a bed. her packages down om table and hangs her coat Below. She open: ously into the shaker ‘with equal farts.) Oh, and your mother called fram Philly «= She and Dad will be up a week from Sunday . . ‘And your sister has @ new boy friend. From Rutgers | | act BAREFOOT IN THE PARK 39 He's got acne and they all bate him . . . including your sister. (Takes the shaker and, mixing the cockta crosses t0 the door.) Hey, lover, start puckering yout lips “cause you're gonna get Kissed for five solid minutes and then... (5 rashin. T thought it was my bh sheepishly and walks ba behind her. As she goes up into the apens and Pav enters, gasping. He drops jis attacks ; and collapses on the couch. Comme comes out of you. I though PAUL. (Gasp, gasp.) Mr. gether. (Com jumps on him and flings her arms around his neck. He Tong to get up. FauL, Everyone knows the i «I ring the bell ly Coats. Tomorrow Tl yell, “Come on up, Harry, my bbusband isn’t home.” (Takes empty box and bag’ and Yirows them in garbage pail in kitchen.) Hey, wouldn't everyone in the building thought I was ith someone’ Crossing back to couch.) Well? Pave, Well what? pa CoRs® What happened in court today? Gump or Bir. Conse. (Jumps om his lap ogcin. He winces ogain.) Oh, Paul, you won. You won, darling. Ol, sweetheart proud of you. (Stops and looks at hinm.) Well, a happy? PauL. (Glumly.) Bienbaum won the protection of his ‘food name but no damages. We were awarded six cents.BAREFOOT IN THE PARK act Conre. Six cents? ‘you get? Pavt, Nothing, Birnbaum gets the whole six cents 1d T get a going over in the office, From now on I get the cases that come in for a dime or under. mate. (Opening his darling, you won. "That lamyer. PAUL. Some lawyer . . . So tomorrow T go back to it you're here with me, (Kisses his today? Conte, (Gets off his lap and sits on couch.) Why not? PAvL. Because you called me eight times . . . 1 don’t speak to you that much when I'm kame. Oh, you're grouchy. T n day today and grouchy. Paut. (Cross jacket end bangs in here, drank ordered me ar gs in reply.) Cons, Temper, tenper. We've supposed to be chafing tonight. 4 Te got news for ing tonight has fiasco written all over it, ty of anything permanent cever even occurred tome Pact, Permanent? We're hcky if we get past seven etclock~ (The doorbell BUZZES ond Da eres ta oor) Come, Thats her, Now you've got me word... Paul id Ido someting hore? PAUL. (Buzzing dvostors.) Probably. Cone Wet, do something. Don't answer the door home in his drink. It won't stop (Opens do Pav, (Yelling shrough hands, back into room.) She's at Carp in a few minutes, ‘Cone, Paul, maybe we could help her. (Coming down stairs.)BAREFOOT IN THE PARK cr 1 1g blazer out of closet.) What do you (Above conch.) A woman puts on rouge and ing is, we don’t have roduce her a3 “my dull S0-ye sp aboce oa say? >° PAUL. No. (Boves towards door.) act BAREFOOT IN THE PARK “a Conms. A fashion designer, The brains bebind Ann Fogarty. Baul. (Points to door.) She’s on her way up. Conte. A mystery writer . . . under an assumed name. Paut. Let's lend her my trench coat and say she’s a private eye, who is she going to be? to be your mother... and the just means... that going to be your (The Mormun collapses in and Paus. and Cour rush to support her. Paw and Cone quickly lead Moran to armcheir x, of couch.) Conte. Hello, sweet Moran, who gasps Jor air.) Are y nods.) You want some water? (Moran shotes head, “No,” as Paut and Contr lower ther into chair. Ske drops pocketbook on floor.) Mores. Paul . . . in my pocketbook . . . are some (Picks up bag, closes door and begins to look Jor pills.) Pink pills to rain so I ran wel got caught in the subway grating my foot out and stepped in a puddle eb went by and splashed my stockings . . . if the bard-” BAREFOOT IN THE PARK act ware store downstairs was open . . - I was going to buy a knife and kill mysel (Pavr gives her the pill, and Conte gives her the drink.) Conte, Here, Mom, Drink this down. Pave. Here's the pill, . . (Morin takes pill, drinks ‘and coughs.) Morzen. A martini? To wash down a pill? Conte. 111 make you feel better, ‘Morser. I had 2 martini at home, It made me sick ‘That's why T'm taking the pi (Couns puts drink down on table.) Pau. (Sitting on end table.) You must be exhausted. ‘Morsex, I'd just like to crawl into bed and cry myself to sleep. Conte. (Offering her trey of hors a'ocuvre,) Here, ‘Mom, have an hors oeuvre, ‘Morsen, No, thank you, dear. Cou. 11 Pav, (Sitting on couch.) That's right. You haven't seen it with its clothes on, have you? ae Momnen. (Exhausted sinks into armchair 1. of couch.) Like it? Its magnificent . . and in less than a week My goodness, how did you manage? Where did you get your ideas from? PAUL, We have » decorator who comes in through the window ance a week. act BAREFOOT IN THE PARK 45 Conte. (Crossing up to bedroom.) Come take a look at the bedroom, Moranmn. (Crossing up to bedroom.) Yes, that's what I want to do . . . look at the bedroom. Were you able 1¢ bed in? (Looks into room.) Ob, it just fits, (foves to stairs.) Just. We have to tam in ks very snug. . . And did you find a way to get to the closet? Coane. It was an accident. Mr, Velasco left his bathtub running, Morren. (Moving down stairs.) Mr, Velasco? . . Ob, the man upstaics— Pauw. (Taking her arm.) Oh, then you know about Mr. Velasco? ‘Morin. Ob, yes. Corie had me on the phone for two hours. Pave. Did you know he’s been married three times? Morr. Ves... (Turns back to Conte.) If 1 were you, dear, I'd sleep with a gun, (Sits ix beniwood arm- hair.) Pave. Well, there's just one thing I want to say about And to two very charming to be seeing again tonightBAREFOOT IN THE PARK (Coun sinks down on sofa.) ‘the people in the world . ‘Coie, (Gets up and’ moves to Moruen.) I don't see ‘what you're making such Junior. Conse, He looks nothing like Douglas Fairbanks, Junior does he, Paul? Pavt. No’. . . He just jumps lke him. Morsiez. I'm not even dressed, Conte. (Brushing Morssa’s clu Mother, now don’t get excited. Moruen, (Gets up and puts drink on cofce table.) You could say Pm the cleaning woman». Tl dust the fable. Give me five dollars and IM leave. (Siarts up stairs tops her on stairs.) You just stay here— ‘oing to Mormex.) It's going to he fine, Mom, ads Moraer back to sofa.) And smile, istible when you do. And finish your martini, (Takes it jrom table and hands it to Morar.) ‘Morten, Do you have a lot of these? Conm. As many as you need, ‘Morten. T'm going to need a lot of these, (Downs a good belt.) Pave. Can I open the doot? Coxte. Paul, wait a minute... Mother... your hair to fuss with hair.) What? i? Tes all right now, I (Moves towards Pavt.) Ts something wrong with my hair? ‘There's a man standing out there, Conte. Wait a minute, just try and go along there are we going? know. But wherever itis . Conte, T mean, don't worry about your stornach.eB BAREFOOT IN THE PARK (There is another KNOCK on the door.) Morus. Oh, my stomach, (Sinks down on couch.) Pavt, Can I open the door now? Conte, (Moving to n. of the couch.) Okay, okay - ‘open the door. (Pave nods gratefully, then opens the door. Vetasca stands there looking quite natty in a double-breasted, blue, pin-siriped sit. He carrics a small, covered {frying pan in-a gloved hand.) Paur, Ob, sorry to keep you waiting, Mr. Velasco. Come on in— ‘VeLasco, (Moving into well, to Paus.) Ab! Ho si mak ling Paut. No, no. . . Its Paul. Verasco, I know, T was just saying hello in Chi- ese . Pavt. Oh. . . hello. Vexasco. (To Coie.) Cori Conte, (Enthralied.) Oh \Vezasco. Ravishing. That’s English, Conte. (Taken back.) Oh... Ab, Paul. . . Would you do the honors? Pavt. Yes, of course, Mr. Velasco, I'd like you to meet = =» (CORTE sleps back un- veiling MorHek with a gesture.) Mother, this is our new neighbor, Mr. Velasco . . ‘Moruite. How do you do? ‘Vanasco. (Sweeps fo Moran, fakes her hand and bows ever so slightly.) Mrs. Banks . . . T've been looking for: ‘ward so to meeting you, I invite your daughter to my cocktail party and she spends the entire evening talking of nothing but you. (Comsy moves. 2 of couch taking ital with past | leasure.) ; Mormen. Ob... ? It must have been a dull party. acti BAREFOOT IN THE PARK 0 0. Nota thease opis: E mean if she did nothing bu tlk about tat must have been dul] the party, ied UL moves eboac couch to cofee table and ges is Veasco. I understand Moran, Thank you Conte. (Fo the esens.) Oh, ts that for ux? Vinasco. Yer Bet the Tine... my Pats on dion it fowish jes cone) ea Cont 12S an hors duewvre, Me. melt es 2 famous gourmet. Ve? aes them Morena, fh gouemet fF Imagine! lasco, Tht won siond prt lst yea atthe Venice ‘Mora. Second prize Git: Me Velases once cocked forthe King of Sweden, Moraes, Really? Did you wotk for him? Vetasco, No ‘We belong to the same club. (MoE Ginbarrassed)y "The same chin, . Of (EAC Wea Gourmet Society. There’ handed aed Mom. AM go Visco, That Daryl Zanack rae. Daryl Zanuck to tasco. We mect once every fee years for dinner that we conk ourselves, Th 1987 they te sipped tae to my house. (Looks at his wai ‘h.) We have another thirty seconds . oe Pace Until ai? they’ edible. (Toker cover td psi on end able) Now’. "te tet Safe ‘nels we just let them sit there and breathe # e King, Prince Philip and50 BAREFOOT IN THE PARK Comm. (Ioves x.) Gee, they look marvelous. Vexas 1 eat this, you take a bite is over two thousand years old particular batch, of course. (He laughs, but Morne laughs to0 loud and too long.) punishable sce I'm among es, spices and to the i$ weaich once more.) Ab, ready Five, four, threc, mo, one « . . (Uelds pon oud lormrr.) Mrs, Bant More Cet +. thank you. (She rely to her mouth.) ind of fish? Wetasco. Eel Pavt, Eel? Eel spoils quickly. Banks, you're not eating, Motstme. My throat’s |, I wouldn't want you to do ‘then starts 10 take'@ nibble.) Merits. [beg your pardon. Vexasco. (Puts ‘dows por and takes off cooki 1 you bbe at kath, testes (lie toheso four times and then pops act x BAREFOOT IN THE PARK. SL Morxen. Ob, yes. Hand to hand a jew times and 10 pop it into her mouth. But she misses over her shoulder. Vetasco qui ier. Although this time she 3 ting it into her mouth, she chobes on (Gets up and retrieves drink.) No. My scotch. Moruen. Oh, my stomach, img t. above couch.) The trick to the center of the tongue i of the entire palate . hhere goes. (Tosses it back ond forth, then ) How about that? Vewasco. P Drettiest epicurean Pve ever seen Paut.) Paul? wwe a bad ar You should ty everything, right, you? Tnibbled! Pavt. T don’t we're over the five-min anyway, Vetasco, (Crossing to behind couch, leans ‘over to her very confdentially.) Taste is something that nmiust be cultivated, Morten, (Almost jumps.) Er, yes, Vve often sald that...BAREFOOT IN THE PARK act Conte. Well, are we ready to go out to dinner? Morse. mean we're going out? Cou. We ‘Morstex, What, happened? hesitant to suggest Coste, Oh, please. (To Motnex.) What do you say, Mother? Do you feel ativenturous? ‘Morir, You know me, one of the Cou. (To Verasco.) There you are, We place the 0 to the Four Winds. ‘Paut. Oh! The Chinese Restaurant? On Street? ‘Verasco. No... The Albanian restaurant on Staten Island. Morster. (Holds stomach.) Staten Island? Coare. Does! Morar. Yes Conte. Love it already. (As she sweeps past Pavt, on her way to bedroom, she punches him on the shoulder.) ‘VEEASCO, (Sitting nezi £0 Morar.) Don't expect any- thing lavish in the way of decor. But Uzu will take care of the atmosphere. ‘Momsen, Who's Uru? act BAREFOOT IN THE PARK. 83 y 's @ Greek liquor . . . Deceptively power- ‘ive Wecasco. (Folin bord out of pocket) For 25.1 weat For 38 oo (Pats bored en Crosas by Bash Pick with great fur. Bros water ‘nd thon craies tle Gotiom, One ose tote Tf aay (Mormen desperately clutches Conss!s arm, ‘manages fo push her out theory” Ott COR (ot: (Twoning back for Pav.) What are you loking { bedroom.) My gloves . . Sou don't need gloves. i only ig & heat wave, (i the ain Peasitaring g beat wave, (He turns of the LIGHTS corTatysa BAREFOOT IN THE PARK act (Un the dork swe hear the splash of WAVES and the melanchaly tools of FOG HORNS in the harbor sounding almost as sad as PAUL and the Movs must be jocling at this moment.) ACT II ScENE 2 2 P.M. The apartment is still dark. hear LAUGHTER on the stairs. The door id Conie rushes in, She is breathless, ys trical, and wearing VeLasco's berct and scar}. Conte, Whoo... I beat you. . . I won. (She turns on the LIGHTS, cvosses to the couch and collapses.) (Vexasca rushes in affer her, breathless and laughing.) Vexasco. (Sinking to floor ix front of couch.) Tt wasn’t 14. Except my to i up. And when T talk it rolls back out like 8 noisemaker. Vetssco. That's a good sign. Tt shows the food was seasoned proper! there's a By in my soup,” Vetasco, Oh, “Poopla . . « sirca al mercoor Conre, That's right. “Sirea . . . poople al mercoori.” Vetasco. No, no. That’s “Fly, T have a waiter in my Conre, Well, I did, He put in his hand to take out the fy, (Rises fo’ her Rees.) Boy, 1 like that singer Sways back and jorth as she sings.) “Shama . . . shama ela mai Remama” . . (Flings her coat onto couch, Virnsco riser to @ sitting position, crosses his legs ond act BAREFOOT IN THE PARK 55 figs am imoinery fe) We, what am 1 Sigg, as VeEAco. (Sethe gone on the fo0r) Ws ened Albanian folk song. ‘ Cn! (mpd ath ker own visto.) “Shame shame Oe ator What hoe nei ete img ered etna So ae Coe Hop ar vig ytd se ala nt beable to ‘on and ton. Re a fist.) out Both havds od looks at thom. Sif as a bond (Combs of couch oor nant to Velasco.) What do they put i Gn VarAsoo, (Holding up stig hs s starch. Coane (roots a he eae how shout a game of ping pong? We can play’ dasbien "(ose beings her tuo sf honds aon oe nar bay Vitasco, Not now. (Sis wp) Weve suppiced to de someting important, What was 2 Coste, What wae it? (Ponder, en Joe ere speed toe cate Come les th the kitchen a fees rei, What kind do you have? ag Cons Instant Maxwell House, Vasco” (Crushed) Tnstnt cle? (He holds his brow with his sti) hands, He and Conte disappear behind the screened kitchen continuing Sher babbling. Suddenly we hear scuffing in the hall-BAREFOOT IN THE PARK cr ci nag ted tata tat the Mepisn nur noe wah he tec ma pounds fe maker to the sof, here for air. Corse and Vetasco emerge ith Vetasco carrying @ coffee pel.) stave doce’ one, (Cross fo Moron) Fora be sve dus work Upstairs everyone for ales. (Cont. falls Monit cout but tere noPecton rom Momo Pav.) Don't yon want cite? (Poet and Montes shake their heods, “No.”) veusseo, (Going fo door) They drink iti we make o away Conte, (Fellows wo go amy (Cone and Vets They appear to be in shock, hr ‘some terrible ordeal.) down in the feel sick... Just kind of and [can’t make a fist... (She holds up 4 5139 han.) My Cotie had a good time ik Corie had a good time, Paul? e Paun, (Struggling {, Mors.) Woaderiul . . . Poo wwe get oul to Staten Island in February. act BAREFOOT IN THE PARK 57 Moran, She seems to get such a terrific kick out of living. You've got to admire that, don't you, Pal? Pau, I admire anyone wha’ has three portions of Peat poo ie : ‘ Moreen. (Starts.) What's poofia-poo pie? Faur. Don't you remember? That gook that came in a ‘turban, Mormex. I thought that was the waiter . . . £ tried Faul, But I just couldn't seem to work up an appetite the way they did, Pau. (Reasswring her.) No, no, Mom... You blame yourself . .° We're just not used to that kind of food .'. . You just don’t pick up your fork and dig into a brown salad . . . You've got to play around with it for a while M + T dor Nou it’s very discouraging . . .” (With great die Gulty, she manages to rouse herself and get xp irom the couch.) Anyway, T dont Bet through coffee 3 pink. . There are you going? Morir, Home (Exhausted, she Pau, Wel Morne, herseli, gets up. Shell probably never want to see me again anyway Good night, dear. (Just as Morrx gets to the door, ii ebene ond Consx and Verasco return.) Oh, cotlee ready? (She turns back into the room. Vauasco ‘craises fo the Dar, as Conus moves above the couch.) ‘Con. T was vl the Armenian National Anthem and I blew out the pilot light etasco. (Puts four brandy snifters he hes Brought in ino” bar and, waking decanter from bar, Begins te pone Pandy.) Tnstead we're going to have faming brandy * Corie, give everyone a match. (Conse moves to side rable.)BAREFOOT IN THE PARK act Jd you'll have to excuse me, dear. It ae and put- sks home, derself and Vetasco. will you get home? Verasco. Why worry about it now? Il mect that prob- in New Jersey. (Veuasco moves to the door and Conte in great jubilation flings herself over the back of the couch.) Vexasco. And I insist the arrangement be reciprocal. What is it? acta BAREFOOT IN THE PARK Monae, What is whi Comte. Your name, Morwen. Oh, that Vexasc in Mexieo City. he goes out and looks 'd out. Will you tock! (And in © panic, is going the way (Comes out oj Y bedroom, down the stairs, (rossing to the closet. (loon te stair is toking his coat of and is00 BAREFOOT IN THE PARK = act 11 angry.) What a rotten thing to do . . . To your own mother. ‘Conte. What? : Pavt, Do you have any iden how she felt just now? Do you know kind of a night this was for her? ‘Conte. (Zmpishly.) T's not over yet : Pact, You didn't see her sitting hete two minutes ago. You were upstairs with that Hungarian Duncan Hines es Well, she was miserable, Her face was longer than tbat tip we took tonight. (longs up coat in closet.) ‘Conte. She never said a thing tome. aie Paut, (Takes out hanger and puss jacket on i.) She's too good a sport, She went the whole cock-eyed say Boy, oh boy...» - dragging a woman like that all the way fut to the tide of the harbor for a bowl of sheep dip. (Uants jacket up and crosses to dictionary on side table tinder radiator. Takes tie off and folds it neatly.) Conte, (Foliows him to table.) Tt was Greek bean soup. ‘And at least she tasted it. She didert jab at it with her knife throwing cute little epigrams like, “Ho, ho, ho » « = T think there's someone in there.” ‘Pac, (Puls tie between peges of dictionary.) That's right. That’s right, At least T was honest about it. You Ute two bowls because you were showing off for Al Capone at the next table. (PAOL searches for wallet wnsuccess- July.) ‘Conte. What are you so angry about, Paul? | Pav, (Crassing fo closet) ¥ just told you. I felt tr ie for your mother. (Gets walict out of Jacket pocket) ‘Cone (Following after him to the front of couch) Why? Whereis she at this very minute? Alone with prob ably the most attractive man she's ever met. Don't tell ine that doesn't beat hell out of hair curlers and the Late Late Show. ‘Pat. (Crossing up onto bedroom lending.) Oh, ¥ can just hear it now, What sparkling conversation. He's prob- ably telling her about a chicken cacclatore he once cooked for the High Lata of Tibet and she's sitting there shoy: ing pk pl is ber mouth. act BAREFOOT IN THE PARK 61 ons. (Fahing cet rom couch ad pig i eats (Faking ces rr couch ad puting ion em tee are ‘ever can tell what people talk about when Bac Udit understand bow you etme about this. (Goes into Bedrooms)” %° MO Git (Moving to tars) Urtoemed Tig leaner. Do you takin goeg io ek tink ef sep nt ta phone rings tmarcone ak aed io death oF my moter. et Um gic eres Sankt 2s openly for sehing to sear hc” rasan Mo ar Sy Pcs.” arts eat of bedroom, ne ough door.) Me? Me? bl eee um. beating to wonder it youre ca Saving a good time, e oo ae sede Wg? Because 1 the 6 wee my loves in the Com No, Bcrse there the est bi : 8 tt of aden, ture in You! Do you Know what you are? Youn a plac Roe ae aut thon anal at db. Well, tonight you watched and I did. ieee 5p PAUi Bes to a to Conse) Yeah Web itv harder fo watch wit you dd aah mas fone f do what T war miching (Crome: Bach ap ore Gone You wo et your ai down fos ute olka even tax for one might Boy, Paul someone Fe Te ee ee Ga thas am aks PAUL. (Stopping ci Stopping on landing.) What ... ? A stuffed So Br tet oh at ayo ss cr a to fees ee, en Baa BAREFOOT IN THE PARK act 11 Pavt. Tim proper and dignified? (Aoves to Com.) ‘When . 2 When was I proper and dignified? Cont. (Turns to Pau.) All right, he other night AtDaliing’s -.. You were drunk, ight? Pave, Right. I was stoned. Cour. There you are. I didn’t know it until you told ame in the morning, (Omsips and takes off dress) You're a fonny kind of drunk. You just sat there Tookiog un- happy and watching your coat, Pact. I was watching my coat because I saw someone else watching my coat . . . Look, if you want, I'l get drunk for you sometime i show you'a slob, make your haie stand on end. (Unbuttons shirt.) Conte, (Puts dress on chair.) t ist necessary. Pav. (Starts to go, turns back.) Do you know Do you know, in P. J. Clarke's last New Year's Eve, T punched an old womai?. .. Don’t tell me about drunks (Starts to £0.) Connm. (Taking down hai.) Allright, Paul Pau, (Twmns back and moves above cowch.) When else? When else was I proper and dignified? ‘Conte, Always. You're always dressed right, you always look right, you always say the right things, You're very clase to bein perfec. Pact. (Hurt ta the quick.) That's . . . that's a rotten thing to say. Conte. (Moves up fo Pacts) T have never seen you without a jacket. L always el like such a slob compared to you Before we wero martied I was eure you slept with ate Pavt, No, no, Just for very formal sleeps. Cont, You can't even walk into a candy store and ask the lady for a Tootsie Roll. (Playing the scene out, she ‘moves d. R of couch.) You've got to walk up to the Counter and point at it and say, “TI have that thing in the brown and white wrapper.” Pact. (Moving to bedroom door.) ‘Thats ridiculous, Conte. And you're not. That’s just the trouble. (Crosses to foot of stairs.) Like Thursday night. You wouldn't act BAREFOOT IN THE PARK os valk barefoot with me in Washington Square Park, Why Pavt. (To head of stars.) Very simple answer, Tt was seventeen degrees Coniz. (Back to chair and continues taking down he, Exactly. Thats very sensble and logical, cee ae any fun, Patt (Down stairs to couch.) You know, maybe I em ‘00 proper and digaifed for you. Maybe you mould hace been happier with someone’ litle mote colorfal acd lemboyant «tke the Goth! (Starts back Yo bed Cone, Well, he'd be a lot more laughs than a stu ac more laughs than a stuffed Pav. (Turns back on tonding.) Oh, ob... thought you said T wasn't. Coste, Well, you are now. Pan. (Reflectively.) Tm not going to listen to this Pm not going to listen .. . (Starts for Bedroom.) Tye got a casein court in the morning. Cone, (Moves 1.) Where are you going? Pavt, To slep. Conse. Now? How can you sleep now? pitt (Steps 4p" on Bed and urns back leaning on bor jamb.) I'm going to close my eyes and cout bog dnt. iy eyes and count kniehis, Conte. You can’t go to sleep now. We're having a fight Paon, You have the ght. When youre througs, Gas off the lights, (Turns Back into Bedroom.) oe Court. Ook, that gets me insane. You can even contrat Ye emai "AUT. (Storms out t0 head of stairs.) Look, Vm just ‘upset as you are... (Controls himsel].) Bat whey Tee hungry T eat. And when T get tired 1 sleep, You eat cod Sep ion, Dow deny i, Te seen you - te. (Moves w. with « grand gesture.) Not in the middle ofa crisis. sees a Pau. What crisis? We're just yelling a litde,a BAREFOOT IN THE PARK act Conte. You don’t consider this a crisis? Our whole marriage hangs in the balance. ‘Pav. (Sits on steps.) It does? When did that happen? Conte. Just now. It’s suddehily very clear that you and Thave absolutely nothing in commen. aut. Why. Because T won't walk barefoot in the park in winter? You haven't got a case, Corie. Adultery, yes. Cold feet, no, ‘Conse.’ (Seething.) Don’t oversimplify this. I'm angry. Can't you see that? Pau. (Brings his hands to his eyes and peers at her through imaginary binoculars. Then looks at his watch.) Corie, it’s two-fifteen, If 1 can fall asleep in about, halt an-hour, T can get about five hours’ steep. Tl call you from court. tomorrow and we can fight over the phone (Gets up and moves to bedroom.) Conte. You will of go to sleep. Vou will stay here and fight to save our marriage. ‘Paul. (In doorway.) Ti our marriage binges on breath ing fish balls and poofla-poo pie, it’s not worth saving Tam now going to crawl into our tiny, little, single bed, 1f you care to join me, we will be sleeping from left to right tonight. (Znto bedroom and slams door.) Comm. You won't discuss it . . . Vou'te afraid to dis- cuss it... Tmartied a coward |. | (Takes shoe from ‘couch and itrows it ab bedroom door ) Paut. (Opens door.) Corie, would you bring in a pail? ‘The closet’s dripping. Care Ohb, T hate yout I hate yout I really, really hate you! PAvt, (Storms to head of stairs.) Corie, there is one thing I learned in court. De carefull when you're tired and angry. You might say something you will soon regret. 1 am-now-tired-and-angry. Cont. And a coward. Pact. (Comes down stairs to her at x. of couch.) And 1 will now say something T will soon regret . . . Okay, Corie, maybe you're right. Maybe we have nothing in ‘eomion. Maybe we rushed into this marriage a little too «tm BAREFOOT IN THE PARK. 65 fast. Maybe Love isn’t enough. Maybe two le shoul be checked for common sense, understanding and emo- Se ee co Ssh ff ea gg pe the we Fuddy Duddies, eee Je:'s not get— r eae a mtn oir a fee Rey Tet at Corre. I just can’t, that’s all, Not when you feel this Pau, When T fel what may? San, The way os fe boat me nots Cont, Yee hatte Conte. (Br more hystercally) Tam not hysterical. 1 now exactly what I'm saying. {ee t0 good Raed eal Icaeve lb aa ct. (Throwing his hands ond sinking to the couch.) Holy cow. ere aces eam sy, I~ (She hts Bock tare 1 de Bact, Oh, for pete’ sates, ery. Go ahead and Goan. (Haigh of jury) Dealt you tall se wie to66 BAREFOOT IN THE PARK scr ery. Tl cry when I want to cry. And I'm not going to have tay ery until you're out of this apartment. ‘Paul, What do you mean, out of this apartment? Conte. Well, you certainly don’t think we're going to live here together, do you? Alter tonight? Pave. Are you serious? Conse. Of course T'm serious. Z want a divorce! Paut. (Shocked, he jumps up.) A divorce? What? Conte. (Pulls herself together, and with great calm, begins to g0 up stairs.) V'm sorry, Paul, I can't discuss it any more. Good night. ‘Pavt. Where are you going? Conte. To bed. (Turns back to Paut.) aut. You can’t, Not now. Conte. You did before Paut, That was in the middle of a fight. This is in the midale of a divorce. ‘Coxe. I can’t talk to you when you're hysterical. Good night. (Goes into bedraom.) Paut. Will you come here . . . ? (CoRtE comes out on Jonding.) I want to know why you want a divorce, Corte. I told you why. Becatse you and I have abso- Ttely nothing dn. common. Pau. What about those six days at the Plaza? Connt. (Sagely.) Six days does not a week make. Paut. (Token oback.) What does that mean? Corre. T don't know what it means. T just want a divorce. Pavt, You know, I think you really mean it. Conre. Pao! Pav. You mean, every time we have a little fight, you're going to want a divorce? Conte, (Reassuring.) There isn't going to be any more litie fights, This is it, Paul! This is the end. Good night (Goes into bedroom and closes door bekind Fer.) Pavt, Corie, do you mean to say—? (He yelis.) Will you come down here! Conse, (ells from bedroom.) Why? Pawt, (Sereams back.) Because I don’t want to yel. actin BAREFOOT IN THE PARK o (The door opens and Cosme comes out. Ske stands at the ‘op of the stirs. e points fo his feet) Alle aay, Conse. (Seething, comes all the way down and stands there he pointed.) Ateaid the aay neighboss wil heat Cores, Dead serious Pav. You mean the whole thing? With sgniog papees and soln 0 coy shang ans, goody, Behe, ore Comm.” (Wading im agreement.) ‘Thats whet T Pav.’ i see... Well... guess there's nothin left to be said. i: 7 i {oases not i. Rights. Well, e= .. . Good ight, Covi (And he goes up stairs.) ss . Goeie. Where are you going? Prot, (Turns bck en lonting.) To bed Cone, Don't yon want to tall aout 02 Puts At twethity in the moe Conse, Teant sleep nti te twcouch Pau Well, it may take theee months, Why dort you eles take a nap7 ee oni. Yeu! don't have to get supp Pao. Well damnit, F'n srry ut when T plan vaca- tions T'm happy and when 1 plan deers To anteey (Crosser to bookcare an grads atveche tare) All ee, Senta to plan this thing les plan it (Strns to Coes lable and sweeps everything there ois hoor et ig and.) You wane a quick divorce or 4 som painful one? Cost, (fore Tm goin to be. (Com pats) ath: (Shots) Vou stay here or you get no diverse Conte (Stops om landing.) You can try acting evize. Pact.” Padting down atarh’ tase) Oka Vii se exiled. But charm you're not going to get” (Pushes Clair towards her-) Now st dawn!» "Betas theres68 BAREFOOT IN THE PARK act a lot of legal and technical details to go through. (Open ing attaché case.) “Comm. Can't you do all that? T don't know anything about legal things : aut. (Wed on her ond in a great gesture points an accusing finger at her.) Ab, baa. . . Now F'm the Do-er apa yore fhe Watcher! (Relay) Ria, C ch? Right? Right? Isn't that right, Corie? E Gouin’ Fah mest ides} 8s the what youre realy kel i “Baca. (Grimacing like the monster eis) Yes Ye. “Cont (Determined she's doing the comes dou stairs, and sits, fist care chair away from Paw.) All ts First of all, what of looking at Pavt.) Gr von. (Taki 5 divorcing w knichis vats, You're a sereans, Pau. Why weren't wwe were happy? Pavt, Oh, but you're ‘Supposing ‘cep my Conte. (Shocked, she turns to Pav.) T h bitterness from yo Pau, Fim not bitter. That's a statemont of fact, You're always wearing my pajamas and slippers, Cours. Only after you go to work. Pauw. Why? acrm BAREFOOT IN THE PARK 0 Cons, Because T like the wey they say ind, 's stupid, (She begins to sob, gets up and crosses up steps 10 bedroom.) Wi sign ‘over your pajamas and pers, Faun. Tf you'd like, you can visit them ance a month Conts, (Purns back on landing.) That's bitter! Paut. You're damned ri! Conte. (Beginning to real be bitter, Paut, Don’t tel me when to be bi Conte, Things just didn’t work 0 Wt, They sure as hell didn’t Conse, You can’t say we didn’t try. Pau, Almost two whole weeks Conur. It's better than finding out in two year Pau. Or twenty, Conse, Or ftty Pau. Lucky, aren’t we? Cos lest people in the whole worl ight you weren't going to cry ing to have the digee ing to en @ d into case, and buries his ‘hoa ve Vim going to cry 50 fou right long. Go : mond ‘hear her crying im there, Pat angrily d moves towards ns and Conse which land ot he door shut again, Agein room, Paut picks them up night long. (Seething the end table, ond begins to ike up the sofa with she sheet and Blanket, ad Be while mauncbling through the whole argument, they fave just had. As he puts the blanket over the sofa, fe suddenly bursts out.) Six days does not a week tasks,10 BAREFOOT IN THE PARK Act (The PHONE rings. For & momes ignore it, but as it keeps on ringing, he over to st and rips the cord from the wall. Then, mumbling to Kimselj, he crosses to 1 Fight and down onto Paut’s exposed head. He feels it, and after a moment, he rises up on his knees looks up at the hole. Soundlessly, CURTAIN ACT IT Scene: The following day. About 5 P.Bf, to rub off the arm. § 1 the the skylight, rolls the couch Downstege so door opens and Pact. c the railing. He looks hogeard and raven, nat just jrom she stairs, but from a lack of sleep and peace of mind. Also he hes a cold, and as hie leans there, he wearily blows his nove, He curries ‘is attack case and a newspaper, The DOORBELL ‘and as he presse Conte comes out of the b crossing each other; Pa Sedreom and Conse crossing up to before he gets to the bedroom door, ‘About to go behind the screen, coldly, m.) God bless him! de ‘chen, She and forks ond a dor the radiator, she puts her old friend, the Texzpnonn nn BAREFOOT IN THE PARK = act mr ‘at $00 thrilled.) Hello, again. Fine. Fine, thanks. . . . The telephone’s out of order. Targraone MAN. I know. I wouldn't be here for 2 social call. ‘Conte, Come on in He steps up into apartment. Conan closes the door be- (O° LF i, ced fot plats Mcken tf he pac woh wate) ‘Tsusrons Man. (Looking around.) Hey! bad... Not bad at all... You Conte, (Speaking from Bitch already? z Conte. (Picking up salt ond pepper shaker.) Y'm looking (Looks ‘around with disbel They're not easy to find. Til find one. (Places Ont (Leeks down and tices the wire has been pulled from the wall, Kncels down, open fs Begins 10 replace sd Ie? Very interesting. (Goes up into kitchen. ner BAREFOOT IN THE PARK ‘TELEPHONE Maw. W Comet out 9) the lead ot hte, Pa cae onl nowapapen in slams the door beki a ‘Prberone Maan stop, Pacn goee slams the dor bard locked Pasa Man. Your Conse. (Crossing upto bathroom door.) 1 suppose so 4 waso't looking. (Pots on the Goor with the ole oo sell.) Dianabis served! (Crosses fo side ble aed ha ladle ood onto plate) (The bathroom door opens. Pawx comes out. Pavt. (Nods of TexepHo1 down stairs to the couch.) 1 you, (Sits on couch, puis at Corre. (Ignoring cand offers him plate Teternoxe Ma: no, thanks, We' is smell joke. Co irops goulask, plate and then ‘Sfron pocket, Lights’ the candle. While she docs this she sings to hersel) ... “Shama Shama...” Pavt, buries hime iper and begins 40 cat his grapes. Taking bbe out of here as fast as T can. (Dives )* BAREFOOT IN THE PARK Act mt Cowre, (Sitting down to eat.) Take your time. No one’s rushing you. (The Trreruonn Max Begins a nervous, tuneless hum os she works. Pavt continues to eat and read word= Tessly, There is a long pause.) stops humming and looks at her, hoping she will, There is a pause, Pat is still looking at his newspaper.) 1 said, is there any beer in the house? (Wo enscver.) ‘TeuzpHonE Man. (He can’t stand it any longer Cont, There is no beer in the house. (Pavx throws down paper and storms toward TetEPHONE. ‘Max, who draws back in fright. Pau stops at bar ‘and pours himself a drink.) TeneeHoNe Man. (With great and trying to Because mo one else will.) That's my ~ T can drink ten cans in a night (Pact goes back t0 the couch and his newspaper. Not ‘having cased the tension any, the TELEPHONE MaN goes back to his work and agein begins his nervous liummning.) Pav, (After another pause, still looking at kis news- food in her mouth, takes her own sweet ‘ontwering.) Hmph, Pavt. (Looks af fer.) Wi that mean? Comm. It meant your laundry came back today . . . ‘They stuffed your shirts besutifully. BAREFOOT IN THE PARK Hoving watched this exchange, the TexzrHONE Maw desperately begins to whistle a pointless and im mocuous tiene.) Stung, takes a drink, then becoming aware of NE Maw.) Woild you like is no answer. The TELEPHONE MAN co Teaid, would you like drink? MLEPHONE Man, (Starlled, looks up fr a c ‘p from work.) Pavt. Yout ‘TrrEPHONE MAN. Me? Max. OH... No! (Goes back io he newspaper. INE MAN. vk Conus. No. Thanks you very much. Tatarnone Max. (Getting up ond crossing to door.) ws ALT. &'T-s pleasure, (Weary drops fi tad in pon door, He is ansious to leove ths tone) goth ELS Wb hao ne io oor.) Te sory to ep bot i Tetermow Mav Oh | Conn. (Very com |, T wouldn't be too sure... a then but, er 2)? foonal ersonal message ceross have a way of & (He winks at her to indicate,"Chins up"ds hevoihing Baur lowers his paper, turns around and recs hans PRE Trxuvuons Man és terribly embarrassed. So ke wonke ot Pav, ‘Thon pulling Himself together) Web (And he rashes out of the doo76 BAREFOOT IN THE PARK act (Comme closes the doer behind. him and goes up into the itchen with the pot and tadle, As soon 0s she 4 solely behind the screen, Pau. pus down his paper ‘end runs to her table, where he veipes a mouth)sl of goulash. Dashing to the couch, Re is once more hidden behind kis newspaper and’ Conte comes out of the kitchen, She is now carrying a plate on which rests a small, iced cake. She sts down, and pushing her plate aside, begins to eat her cake.) day to look, the nasal spray he hed token 01 12 bog of grapes.) ve been very busy. 2 couple of aspirins and get rig ire you can find some pl sleep at your 's 2 locker room here T'd have 10 keep winving the serve. (Looks at Conte.) Look, does it bother you if T stay here another couple of days? Cont. It’s your apartment too. Get out whenever you to get out. (The PHONE ri nL makes we to answer it, Cort ignation, crosses to the phone and pic Who? Yes, it i8. (Conse suddenly acts very feminine, ire 2 somewhat lower, more provocative ard confidential voice, even laughing ot times as though she were sharing ome private little jake. She seems ta be doing this oll for Pauw's benefit. On phone.) Oh, isn't that nice... Yes, Fm very interested . . . (Tabes phone and moves away sot mt BAREFOOT IN THE PARK n from Pac.) Thursday night? .. Well 1 dont soe mby Pave, (Doesn't like the sound of this.) Who is that? Cons. lgnares im, laughs in phone) Want eons Eight o'dock? . It sounds per, Pate. Who are you fling to? Conte. (Stil ignoring him.) T see... But bow did you get ay numer? “Oh ont that clover that phone, Eee ce Conse. (Struggling with him Jor i.) X will uot away from bere, Paul. [t's me. noes Pavt, 1 said'give me that bate of phone from her. Cont storms arass to bes ah, with gréet indignation, bow out and Begins to take her setting into kitchen, On Phone.) Hello? Who ann tO? =, (Laake at Cons lessons. (Pati. hangs up ond stores af Cone a out of bichon. Con (Takes receiver and because you'r & crazy lad 1 want and do ghat 1 ths House at (Putting down paper.) see. © you want can you? Conte, Right. Wh ee Pact, Get what? Conte, My eivorce, When do 1 get my divorce?BAREFOOT IN THE PARK = act m Pat. How should I know? They didn’t even send us t. Til get your jockey shorts. (Crosses up into bed UL, (Moves to coffee table and takes drink.) You can leave the suits. I'll pick them up in the spring when Yes, Aunt Har- not with me Conse. She didn't come home last night. Her bed wasn’t slept, in. Maybe I should call the police. (Starts to pick asy, Corie. 'Pavt.) Don" you understand? act mt BAREFOOT IN THE PARK n Jessie looked. She was not in ber bedroom this morning, (Picks up phone.) sing all -aut. (The Chief of Police. ight, lei's not crack . Conte. (Seething.) Will you go 'way? Get out of my fe and go amay! (Slams receiver down and crosses to want to see you here when T get back. fe are you golig? Upstairs ‘to find out what happened to my mother. (She opens door.) And don’t be here when T get Back! (Ske goes out and slams the door. Patt, goes 10 door.) got a big surprise for ts after her.) Tm not Crossing I don’t need any- fone to protect me. (Putting clothes in suitcase.) Because Tam a man, sweetheart... An 10 bar, and glass.) Yeah, I'm hot, cold, swe robably a 2¢hour virus. T'll be all right . . . (Lookt his tomorrow at a quarter to five. (Pours am. t, puts down Bottle and drinks. As he drinks, the hole in the skylight. Stepping wp ontoie.) Goodbye, Jor door. As Pxut. mo jn, She holds her apron to ke turbed.) Goodoye, Corie y I get a goodbye? led to 2 goodbye! slowly turns back to (Goes Alarmed, he drops aché case and puts the bottle om the end- Was itan accident? .. jor pete sakes, what hop ‘your mother? (Suddenly Moreen rushes in Uhrough the open door, She és now dressed in man’s sany sizes t00 big for her. Oversized man’s ‘on her Bare feet. But she clutches her clutching the bathrobe, she ten... 1 It's not the way oks Paut. (Looks at her in omazement.) Mother? OTHER. (Stops mi ), Ob, good morning, Paul. (Goes up you've got to (Cox bedroom shut.) ‘There's a perfectly good explanation. (Hysterical, im front of the ‘loved You're not being make her believe me id pounds on bedroom door.) act ur BAREFOOT IN THE PARK Now, you see to Moruza, being very for T understand, (Starts Jor Morir. ( icking up ) As long as you're shakes his head ond exits.) Mor ) No, Paul. «. . (But Paut i gone.) (Looks at her, sadly (The bedroom door opens and Coxse comes ont.) Conte, s all just a big mistake. Conn. (Rushing to front door.) Did he go? Did Paul leave? joing fo Conse.) Tt happened last night Mr. Velasco, Paul was Tt must have been the leal to drink last night... scotch, martinis, coffee, black bean soup and Uzus, . . . Conte, You don't’ have to explain a thing to me, Mother. Moraes. (Horried.) But 1 want to expl When T got outside I’ suddenly y fainted... Well, T passed out. 8. I should have trying to make her see.) ‘Th carried me inside, T could: walk because my shoes fell dawn the sewer. Conte. (Deep in her own mitery.) You hear about ‘hese things every day.a BAREFOOT IN THE PARK act mr ‘Morutra, He started to carry me up here but his beret fell over his eyes and he fell down the stairs. . . . He fell into Apartment 3C. I fell on his foot... They had to carry us up, Conte, T thought we'd have a nice sociable evening, that’s all, ‘Morazn. Mr, Gonzales, Mr. Armandariz and Mr. Cal- houn. . ... (Sogs in dejeat.) They carried us up... Conte.” Just some drinks, dinner and coffee. . ‘That's all... ‘Morarr. And then they put us down. On the rugs. = - Oh, he doesn’t have beds .. . just thick rugs, and then Ifell asleep. . . Conre, Paul was right. He was right about so many things... . Morsies. And then when I woke up, Victor was gone. But T was there... in his bathrobe. (Pounds. the Cons. (Turns to Morar.) You don’t have to swear, Mother. ‘Mormre. But I want you to believe me. I've told you everything. Conrs. Then where are your clothes? ‘Mormrx That I can’t tell you, Conte. Why not? Morsien. Because you won't believe me. Cone. Tl believe you, Morne. You won't, Cons, I will. Where are your clothes? ‘Moran. I don't know. Conse, I don't believe you. (Gets wp and moves to- ‘wards her.) Mormer. Didn't I say you woulda’t believe me? 1 just don't know where dey are... (Gets up and moves x.) Oh, Corie, Pve never been so humiliated in Don't blame yourself. . . . It’s all my faul 1 did it, T did this to you, (Leans om’ Bar, holding head.) Morne. And I had horrible nightmares, [ dreamt my scrim BAREFOOT IN THE PARK as fingers were falling off because T coulda't make 4 fist. (Paces ond catches sight of hersdf im mirror) Ob, Goal 1 look like someone they woke up in the middle of the Bight on the Adres Doria! (Brady ado bystonad Teughter ) : a (There is @ POUNDING on the door.) rs.) Tell him I'm not here 480 steps in. He is now sup. and 7 Vexasco. (Hobbling up step and Pm sowu BAREFOOT IN THE PARK act ur Vetasco. (At couch) Did you know my big toe is broken Moruen. Ye (Catches herself.) 1 ‘mean no, terrible? Varasco. I'll have to. wear a month, . . . Only I can’t find my hem on Morsex’s feet.) Ob, the Morne. (Looks down Movatsn. (Appealing to (Comm ignores her and goes into you say that? obvious? Last night I coulda’t carry you up the stairs. T can’t eat rich foods any more (ery confidentiality. and dye my bai. very nice Veasco. Th So are you. « Mores. (Silting next fo Vetasco.) Ob... . Thank *rexasco. 1 mean it, Ethel, Youre @ very unusuat ‘woman, Moran, Unusual . . . ? In what way? Vetasco. (Reflectively.) Tes funny, but T can hardly feel my big toe at all ow. act im BAREFOOT IN THE PARK what you are, E Moun. (Ready jor the compliment.) What? 1A good 5 Vezasco. night. The (She fearty laugh shared by Sradualty dies ou, there i @ moment of and then lempt at renewed gaiety, Mornen Where Vasco, You You were drenched and out cold Gonzates tok then Morne. (Shocker, Gonzles?? Vasco, Not Mister! Doctor, Gonzales esed) odtr Tsuppoe sian have an Tata bng, suasco, Uaughng)) Hes not an MLD, Ho's a Doce tor of Philosophy. el Rice86 BAREFOOT IN THE PARK act mr Mosier, (Joins in laughter with great abandon.) Ob, 1et out of bathroom with aspirin and ag! (oor ner Wetcher them’ kaughing sk bewiier une (Cron tabone cnc) Hee’ te spins. Than you, but fing better now Morase 1 take them. (Totes espn ond sip of Gets up and hobbles to door.) I have to very hour. Is there anything I ean do? (Wads.) If you don't mind love Blain fod. are the New York Hospital (Opens door) Pick me we a glass of fore we go. ‘More. and gigs ? wae ss ? Til bet Pm ier wearing a sie 4 SUGSRE (Lot on her oom problem.) Mother, can T moves 8.) For the first is a Greek forth and pops it into ; ae Jo Ginte’ Mther, before you go, here's somedhing we've got to talle about. act nt BAREFOOT IN THE PARK 87 Mormmn. (IMoving to Conn.) Oh, Corie, how sweet ‘You're worried about Conte, Tam not worried Morner. (Looks am I going to. Comm. I don't care Monster, If fe can dy black would make me loo Cons. Mother, why we Motuer. (Mor ? But Vietor’s ws (Turns back to Corre.) Why come with us? . what I've been trying to tell you. . *t coming back. Mormes. What do you mean? Wh Conte. That's right. Divorced, Paul and I have split lieve. Conte. Why don’t you believe it? Motus. Teave here with his suit- here? Morus. T don't know. I know how neat be is, 1 thought maybe the garbage. Conte. Mother, T'believe you. Why won't you believe nod armchair, sits fac- fe I've never seen id a perfectly good reason, I told him to it. Me and my big stupid mouth,88 BAREFOOT IN THE PARK ‘Moruen, It couldn't have been all your Conte. No... ? No? Because of me y around without he wants. I don’t know how to make him happy. . Oh, Mom, what am I going to do? : ‘Morar, That's the first time you've asked my advice since you mere ten. (Geis up ‘ond moves to Conse.) rything @ game, Just late oom upstairs, But take care of him. And make him feel important, And if you can do that, you'll have a happy.and wonderful marriage... . Like two out of every ten cou But you'l be fone of the two, baby. (Gently strokes Comte's N coat and go on out after greets C @ loud sneese. His clothes are disheveled, his overcoat is gone, and he is obviously bt? cofee iable,) les.) act mt BAREFOOT IN THE PARK 39 Conte. (Moves to kim.) 1 was just going out to look for you, (Puts suitcase om floor and starts to take out Oh... ? Where were you gi k He is apparently amused Conte. Paul, T've got so much to say to you, darling, Pavn. (Taking f suitcase.) So have I dovmstairs and sud- clearly for the first T said to myself wrong for me to ) And there’s only one right Corie, Coats, (Moving to kim.) Really, Paul ? What... 7 Paut, (Jubilantly.) You get out! (Breaks into hys- sterical laughter.) Con. What... ? Paut, Why should I get out? I'm paying a hundred twenty-five @ month... (Looks about apartme is You get out. (Stuffs clothes into tionary.) Corre. But I don't want to get out! Paun, (Crossing back to suitcase and getting another ‘handjul of clothes.) Ym afraid youl have to... - The lease is in my name... . (3foves to stairs.) Tl give you ten minutes to pack your goulash, Conte, (Moves to his.) Paul, your coat! is your coat?90 BAREFOOT IN THE PARK act Conte. (Holding him.) Paul, you're ice cold. ‘You're freezing... | What have you been doing? Paul. (Pulls away from her, moves io chair.) What ‘Where's your socks No... - But f (Looks at kins.) You're drunk! (In great triumph, moves ®.) Ah... | You Thanks. « 3 to kim and jeels his forehead) You're fever. ‘PxOL. How about that? Conse. You'll get pneumonia! ‘what you want, that’s what TL Conse, (Leads him io couch.) I want you to get those shoes off... ‘They're soaking wet... (Pushes him ‘down onto couch.) Pact. Tcan't.”. . . My fect have swellened. « . Contt. (Pulling his shoes of) 1 never should have ow out of here, T knew you had a cold. (Puts shoes om side table.) avr, (Getting up and moving $0 doorwey.) Hey! Corie... Let's do that thing you said before. Let's wake up the police and see if afl the rooms y neighbors...» (Opens door and (Runs to him and pulls kim back into room.) a shut up and ge raggles im, she tickles kim, ond Pat, falls to the floor couch, Conte closes the door behind her.) Get into backs away against the door.) act mt BAREFOOT IN THE PARK Goxte Stop it Paul... fave. Come ‘on, C 3. be fever. coe rie. Let's break my fe Con (Struggling to get away.) ye Stop I! (Gives him an eb Eicken inlACE Gee, you prety when you're mean and eat Con, Keep away from me, Paul... (P towards her.) Vm warning you. cm (Cone Beteoen her ond eats si nom 09 the roof Conte" (Dodeing behind chai.) Vou shouldn't be ou is You've ot a fever. (Moving to chair) Sta sti The both of ining up stairs to bathroom) No, don't like you wt you're lik " Barleaing hrs) bathroom) YOU" HE Pact. (Chasing her and pounding on door.) Open rom bathroom.) 1 can' mn ® {From bathroom.) Y can't... . Tim scared. ++ Twant the Cont, Tes no's Wey dud. tte dependable and wn tl sae of meg ne ev CO ele ee § Iran ed to know how much I love him. -92 BAREFOOT IN THE PARK act mm ing to put in a bathtub and if he wants Ill even carry im up the stairs every night . . . Because T want bim to know how much T love hi (Slowly and ca- musly opening door.) Can you hear me, darling... ? "AOL appears on the skylight, He is crael- ing, drunkenly, along the ledge. Cons, having gotten ‘no answer, comes out of the bathroom and goes into the bedroom searching for Pau.) Paul, are you all right? (Comes out of bedroom and crasses towards front door. When she is beneath him, PAUL taps on the siylight ond stands up. Conte, looking up, sees him and screams.) ++ You ‘idiot I yourself, Paut, (Teetoring T want to be a nut ? Anything, Paul ang attorney . ..”" (Nearly falls rising young at- is a lousy si ke” isa lousy. unk... And T And I love you, Corie, Even when I didn’t like you, [loved you. Conie, (Crossing #0 Paut.) Then please, darling. . . . Please, come down. Paut.I... Tcan't. . . . Not now. Conte, Why not? act m BAREFOOT IN THE PARK 9% Pavt. I'm going to be sick... . (Looking around az if to fini a place to be sick.) Conte, oihto eaten) eit Coe”. car oe. (Davi out bedroom ond down stars ‘What, Paul... ? What? ase Beall ih, dating. Just hold on Hehe And try to Baul. How Couns. “(Panders.) Paut.) Sing, Paul! Paul, as loud as you can ie you'll keep singing, E promise... . ITI keep ‘sing- (2oving to sts) Bot done stop until {come ve you, darling... Keep singing, P Keep singing! (Runs off into bedroom) © Parl, (Calling alter her n desperation) Cosi, Covi what song should I sing? ... Oh, God. - lls Hime) together.) “Shama sharia tan CURTAIN