Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of
society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both
views and give your own opinion.
When it comes to who is the right person to teach children about good behaviors, some
people suggest the responsibilities should fall on parents’ shoulders while others agree it is
schools that will be the suitable place for that purpose. In my point of view, both parties,
namely parents and teachers, will contribute to the formation of children’s good behaviors
with joint efforts.
The closest people in the world to a child must be his parents. Once born into the family,
children will be affected by parents within lifetime period, regardless of values, lifestyles
and behaviours. More importantly, such effects will be exerted unconsciously where both
parents and children cannot say it. As such, children intend to mimic what parents do,
the way they speak and behave, resulting in acknowledgement of parent’s conducts.
Under the circumstance, once parents did anything wrong, children might regard it as
righteous if the wrongful conduct was not pointed out. Therefore, parents should
provide their children with role modelling so that children can correct themselves based on
parents’ reference when they encounter misconducts or even illegalness.
On the other hand, schools can take on the duties to guide children in a more serious and
formal manner. Unlike parents, teachers seem to stand on the other side of students
naturally. The images of teachers are based on their authority and power. Students will
not behave in schools as what they do before their parents capriciously. Thus, teachers
can disseminate the right guide more efficiently. Additionally, when children gather
together in schools, they have many other samples to observe and finally learn. A
schoolwide compliment will motivate more to chase the honors while a criticize will
discourage them from stepping behind.
Children’s codes of conducts are developed in the long term with appropriate guidance.
Not only do their parents become the pioneers to teach them, but also schools will tell
them the standards of being upright.
Comments:
Strengths Weaknesses
A solid and interesting introduction More accurate language/ use of
and conclusion. synonym – ‘their parents’; ‘within a
A good argument which needs clearer lifetime period’; ‘cannot say it’ – will
language choices. be unaware; ‘intend’ – tend;
Good range of vocabulary – but issues ‘examples to observe and finally
with word choice. learn from’; ‘criticicism’
Good flow of sentences with good
support given to the main ideas but Articles- ‘the acknowledgement of’
they can be unclear due to word
choice. Grammar – ‘did’ – do; ‘conducts’
.
Clarity of ideas -‘it as unjustifiable if
the wrongful conduct was not
pointed out’; ‘take a different
position / position themselves
differently to students naturally’; ‘as
what they’; ‘guide them with
standards of being upright’.
Score – 6.0 +
