COL.

LANDA she's in whatever, big bubbling

So your Aldo the Apache? cesspool in hell, the devil
reserves
LT. ALDO for traitors of her ilk.
So your The Jew Hunter?

COL.LANDA COL. LANDA

Jew Hunter, (pfuit), I'm a
detective. (COR'T)
A damn good detective. Finding Well, lets just say, she got what
people is my specialty. So she deserved. And when you
naturally, purchase
I worked for the Nazi's finding friends like Bridget Von
people. Hammersmark,
And yes, some of them were Jews. you get what you pay for.
But Jew Hunter? Just the name Now as far as your Pisanos,
that stuck. Sgt.Donowitz, and Pt.Hirschberg-

UTIVICH LT. ALDO

Well you do hafts admit, it is How do you know our names?
catchy.
COL.LANDA
COL.LANDA Lt.Aldo, if you don't think I
Do you control the nicknames, wouldn't
your interrogate every single one of
enemies bestow on you? Aldo the your
Apache and The Little Man? swastika marked survivors... .?
We simply aren't operating on the
UTIVICH level of mutual respect I
What do you mean, The Little Man? assumed.
Now, back to the whereabouts of
COL.LANDA your
The Germans nickname for you. two Italian saboteurs. At this
moment, both Hirschberg, and
UTIVICH Donowitz, should be sitting in
The Germans nickname for me is, the
The very seats we left them in.
Little Man? Seats,
0023 and 0024, if my memory
COL.LANDA serves.
Or "The Little One, ether one Explosives, still around
means you. there ankle, still ready to
And as if to make my point, I'm explode. And your mission, some
a little surprised how tall you would call a terrorist plot, as
were in real life. I mean, your a of
little fellow. But not circus this moment, is still a go.
midget The two Basterds don't believe
little, as your reputation would this. It can't be true.
suggest.
LT. ALDO
LT.ALDO That's a pretty exciting story.
Where is my men? Where is Bridget What's next, Eliza on the ice?
Von Hammersmark?
COL.LANDA
COL.LANDA However, all I have to do, is
Bridget Von Hammersmark. Oh I'm pick
sure pick up that phone right there.
Inform the cinema, and your plans So the way I see it, since
kupet. Hitlers
death, or possible rescue, rests
LT. ALDO solely on my reaction...If I do
IF, their still there, and IF nothing ...it's as if I'm causing
their his
still alive, and that's one big death, even more then yourselves.
IF, Would you agree?
there ain't no way, you gonna
take LT. ALDO
them boys without settin off them I guess so.
bombs.
COL.LANDA
How about you Uitivich?
I R.T.
UITIVICH
COL.LANDA I guess so too.

M COL.LANDA
I have no doubt, and yes, some Good, we more or less, all agree.
Germans will die., and yes, it Gentlemen, I have no intention,
will of
ruin the evening, and yes, Killing Hitler, and killing
Goebbels Goebbels,
will be very very very mad at you and Killing Gerring, and killing
for what you've done to his big Boorman, not to mention winning
night. the
But you won't get Hitler, you war single handedly for the
won't allies,
get Goebbels, you won't get only later, to find myself
Gering, standing
and you won't get Boorman. And before a Jewish tribunal.
you
need all four to end the war. I q
Now they get it.
(PAUSE)
But if I don't pick up that COL.LANDA
phone, If you want to win the war,
right there, you may very well tonight,
get We have to make a deal.
all four. And if you get all
four, LT.ALDO
you end the war...tonight. What kinda deal?
The Nazi Colonel lifts up the
bottle of Chianti, and fills COL.LANDA
three glasses. As he pours, he The kind you wouldn't have the
says; authority to make. However, I'm
sure
COL.LANDA this mission of yours, has a
So gentlemen, lets discuss the commanding officer? A General,
prospect of ending the war- I'm
tonight. betting. For ..
All three have their Chianti
filled glasses. (THINKING)
.O.S.S. would be my guess.
COL.LANDA Aldo's eyebrows reveal that was a
good guess.
COL.LANDA
Oooh, that's a bingo. Is that the
way you say it, That's a bingo?

LT.ALDO
You just say, bingo.

COL.LANDA
Bingo! How fun. But I digress,
where
were we? Oh yes, make a deal.
Over
there is a very capable two way
radio. And sitting behind it, is
a
more then capable radio operator,
named Herrman. Get me somebody on
the other end of that radio with
the
power of the pen, to authorize my
- Let's call it, the terms of my
conditional surrender, if that
taste
better going down.