Informative and Positive 1 O Messages PRCT Nemes ea Module 10 focuses on helping you write effective informative and positive messages. After Completing the madule, you should be able to 10 10-1 Greate subject lines for informative LO 10-4 List common kinds of informative and positive messages. and positive messages. Lo 10-2 Apply strategies for informative and 0 10-5 Apply strategies for informative positive message organization. and positive message analysis with Lo 10-3 Identify situations for reader PABOG: benefits use with informativeand LO 10-6 Create goodwill endings for positive messages. informative and positive messages. }e categorize messages both by the author's purposes and by the initial response we expect ‘rom the reader. in an informative or positive message, you expect the audience to respond, ‘neutrally to the message or to be pleased. Negatives are minor; they are not the main point of the ‘message. You must convey information but are not asking the audience to do anything. However, you “may well want the reader to save the information and act on it later on. You usually do want to build ‘Positive attitudes toward the information‘What’ the best subject no for an informative oF Positive message? "10:0:‘Module 10 inermatve and Postive Messages 145 Making Subject Lines Specific ‘The subject line needs to be specific enough to differentiate that message from others on the same subject, but broad enough to cover everything in the message. “Too general: Training Sessions ‘To make this general subject line more specific, identify the particular topic of this message. Better: Dates for 2013 Training Sessions ‘or: Evaluation of Training Sessions on Conducting Interviews for: Should We Schedule a Sheet Course on Proposal Writing? Making Subject Lines Concise Most subject lines are relatively short—usually no more than 10 words, often only 310 7 words? Words: Survey of Suident Preferences in Regards to Various Pizza Factors ‘Again, the best revision depends on the specific factors you'll discuss. Better: Students’ Pizza Preferences ‘or: ‘The Feasibility of a Cassano’s Branch on Campus What Stents Like and Dislike about Cassano's Pizza ‘If you can’t make the subject both specific and short, be specific. Making Subject Lines Appropriate for the Pattern of Organization In general, do the same thing in your subject line that you would do in the first paragraph. ‘When you have good news for the reader, build goodwill by highlighting it in the subject line. When your information is neutral, summarize it concisely for the subject line. How should | organize informative and positive messages? 10102 > Put the good news and a summary of the information fist. ‘The patterns of organization in this module and the modules that follow will work for 70% to 90% of the writing situations most people in business, government, and nonprofit ‘organizations face. Using the appropriate pattern can help you compose more quickly and ‘create a better final product.146 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-4a, and Web Wiring Fy; Figure 10.1 How to ‘Organize an Informative or Posttive Message + Be sure you understand the rationale ehind each patter so that you can modify the pattern if necessary. (For example, if you write instructions, any warnings should go up front, notin the middle of the message.) + Not every message that uses the basic pattem will have all the elements listed. The cclements you do have will go in the order presented in the pattem, + Sometimes you can present several elements in one paragraph. Sometimes you'll need several paragraphs for just one element. Present informative and positive messages in the following order: 1. Give any good news and summarize the main points. Share good news immediately Include details such asthe date policies begin andthe percent of a discount. If the reader has already raised the issue, make it clear you're responding. 2. Give details, clarification, background. Don’t repeat information from the frst paragraph. Do answer all the questions your reader is likely 10 have: provide all the information necessary to achieve your purposes. Present details in the order of importance to the reader. 5. Present any negative elements—as positively as possible. A policy may have limits; information may be incomplete; the reader may have to satisfy requirements to get a discount or benefit, Make these negatives clear, but present them as positively as possible. 4. Explain any reader benefits. Mos informative memos need reader benefits. Show that the policy or procedure helps readers, not just the company. Give enough detail to make the benefits clear and convincing. In letters, you may want to give benefits of dealing with your company as well as benefits ofthe produet or policy. Ina good news message, i's often possible to combine a shor reader benefit with a goodwill ending in the last paragraph. 5. Use a goodwill ending: positive, personal, and forward-looking. Shifting your ‘emphasis away from the message tothe specific reader suggests that serving the reader is your real concern Figure 10.1 summarizes the pattern. Figures 10.2 and 1023 illustrate two ways that the basic pattern can be applied. (4 Figures 9.5 and 9.9 also use this pattern.) ‘The letter in Figure 10.2 authorizes a one-year appointment that the reader and writer have already discussed and describes the organization's priorities. Because the writer knows that the reader wants to accept the job, the letter doesn’t need to persuade, The ‘opportunity for the professor to study records that aren’t available to the public is an implicit reader benefit; the concem for the reader's needs builds goodwill ‘The memo in Figure 10.3 announces a new employee benefit. The first paragraph summarizes the policy. Paragraph 2 gives details. Negative elements are in paragraphs 3 and 4, stated as positively as possible. Paragraphs Sto 7 give reader benefits and show that everyone—even part-timers who are not eligible for reimbursement—will benefit from the new program,‘Module 10 incrmave and Poste Messages 147 Figure 10.2 A Positive Letter Interstate Fidelity Morte Gx a00"" Insurance Company Far 04-996 270 March 8,2012 Professor Adrienne Prinz Department of History Duke University ‘Durham, North Carolina 27000 Dear Professor Pring: ‘Your appointment as archivist for Interstate Fidelity Insurance has been approved. When you nino Werein Atlanta in December, you said that you could begin work June 1. We'd like you to start Ger then if that date is stil good for you. acct 1€ Boor outline lowing priorities for your work: “°*U"e= "ade" 9 perry The Bord has oti the lowing pons for your work “Su ss 1. Organize and catalogue the archives. Yul have the baseman ofthe Palmer Building for ctigesee”” thetachives and can requisition the supplies you ned. You be able to contra eat and ‘rdse0" Meanie budget dent allow seca lighting or security measures pe prepare materiale for a4chour esining sasion in October or senior level managers. We'd like you to cover how to decide what © sendto the archives. If your st four months of researh uncover any prgmalic uses or our archives (like Wells Fargo use of archives teach managersabout past pital), include those in Ue session, 3. Write an article each month for the employee newsletter describing the uses ofthe a. chives. When we're cutting costs in other departments, i's important to justify commiting ‘hinds to start an archive program. 44. Study the IFT archives to compile information tha a) can help solve current management problems, (b) could be included in a history of the company, and (c) might be useful to Scholars of business histor oaor® siness history. aarp 12° 3, Begin work on a corporate history of IFI. IF will help you find a publisher and support reader the book financially. You'll have full control over the content. Salary? nad 1282 Your salary wil be $41.00 for si months; your conract canbe renewed tice for atta of 18-204 Lert “5 months. You're authorized to hire a fulltime research assistant for $19,000 for six months; youl ity ‘eed tog through the normal personnel request proces to request tat that money be continued jt ext year A fe clerk wil be asigned allie to your projet. Yul report to me. Atleast for” ‘Srvc! the rest ofthis calendar year the Budge forthe Ahives Project wllcome fom ay department. o/-"/" ores poceare [FT offices are equipped with Pentium computers with Microsoft Office Professional Pls 2010. I there any software that we should buy for cataloguing or research? Are there any office supplies that we need to have on hand June 10 that you can Wwoek efficiently?148 Unit Three Leters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web ving Figure 10.2 A Positive Letter (Continued) Professor Adrienne Prinz March 8, 2012 Page? Inthe meantime, Please send your written acceptance right away. Let me know if you need any software or supplies. ‘Send me the name, address, and Social Security number of your esearch assistant by May 1 sothat Ian process his or her employment papers If you'd like help nding a house or apartment in Atlanta, let me know. Ican give you the same of areal estate agent ‘On June 1, you'll spend the moming in Personnel, Stop by my office at nocn. We'll go out for lunch, and then Tl take you tothe efice you'll have while You're at IFL ‘Welcome to IF! Director of Education and Training When should | use reader benefits in informative and positive messages? 1010-3 > When you want readers to view your policies and your organization positively Not all informative and positive messages need reader benefits (€44p. 112). ‘You don’t need reader benefits when + You're presenting factual information only. + The reader's attitude toward the information doesn't matter. + Swessing benefits may make the reader sound selfish informnathes ‘The benefits are so obvious that to restate them insults the reader's intelligence. (See and Positive Messages Figure 102.) 4. Give any good news and ® s ce ‘You do need reader benefits when 2 Ghedetate, carticaton, + You are presenting policies. Seen + You want to shape readers’ attitudes toward the information or toward your organization, Seer ay oe + Stressing benefits presents readers’ motives positively. cea onanaver possible. ee ‘Some of the benefits may not be obvious to readers. £ Geena berms ayesagestociniomer or potential comes sometimes include sles pargaph pro= eicescel at moting products or services you offer in addition to the product or service that the reader Feels fas askedabout Sales promotion in an informative r postive message shouldbe low-key, snot “hard sell”Module 10 Informative and Postive Messages 149 Figure 10.3 A Positive Memo March 1, 2013 To: _ All Chamber Employees and Members of the Chamber Insurance Group From: Lee Ann Rabe, Vice President for Human Resources ZAR psinsubject ne Subject Health Care Benefits for Same-SexPartners Gosne eed Beginning May 1, same-sex partners of employees covered by the Chamber's Health Plan will be cligible for the same coverage as spouses. {In onder to have a partner covered, an em Department stating that the employee and his or esse | (2) intend to stay together, and (3) are responsible for ‘employees must notify the Human Resources Departm: couples who divorce. ‘other. Ifthe relationship ends, ‘within 30 days, just as do married (costs and coverage ofthe Chamber's Health Plan re ‘also available fora fee; limitations apply and remain the same | afte Chambers Hea an, plex ops brochure in th Human spaces Deparonent |\Opposite-sex couples must still marry to receive the spousal coverage. Extending coverage to same-sex partners of employees shows the Chambers a progressive, ‘open-minded organization. This in tum portrays Columbus in a positive ight. ‘The new policy will affect not only Chamber employees but also the small businesses that are a partof the Chamber's Health Plan. New businesses may see the change as a reason to join the ‘Chamber—and the Health Plan. Growth in the Health Plan creates a wider base for insurance premiums and helps keep costs as low as possible. Additional Chamber members give us the funds nd resources to plan more conferences for members. These conferences, such as the recent “R&D in Ohio's Small Businesses,” help Chamber members do business successfully. Reader Benefits ‘Making the Health Plan more comprehensive keeps us competitive with other major US. cities. As we move out ofthe recession, businesses are carefully considering possible moves. A policy change like this one shows Columbus’ continued goodwill toward minorities in general and will make convincing businesses to relocate here that much easier. Good ec) Selling Columbus as a good place to live and do business has never been easier. Reader benefits are hardest to develop when you are announcing policies. The organi tion probably decided to adopt te policy because it appeared to help the organization; the people who made the decision may not have thought at all about whether it would help or hurt employees. Yet reader benefits are most essential inthis kind of message so readers see the reason forthe change and suppor it ‘When you present reader benefits, be sure to present advantages othe reader. Most new policies help the organization in some way, but few workers will see their own interests150 Unit Three Letters, Momos, Mal, and Web Wing Fr ‘Sharing noration & crush fo business ‘success. To cve home that point, Semen dopostied 60 managers em around the ‘word en the shores of ake south ot Much, Germany, and to! them to bulls rafts, They weren't alowed to tak: They hha to wile messages and ckagrams on {ip chars. ack in the ofice, Share ts ‘employees araind the word ask questions fand share ansiners, as identical with the organization's. Even ifthe organization saves money or increases its profits, workers will benefit directly only if they own stock in the company, if they're high ‘up enough to receive bonuses, if the savings enables a failing company to avoid layolTs, or if all of the savings goes directly to employee benefits. in many companies, any money ‘saved will go to executive bonuses, shareholder profits, or research and development. ‘To develop reader benefits for informative and positive messages, use the steps sug- ‘gested in Module 8. Be sure to think about intrinsic benefits (44 p. 117) of your pol- ‘cy—that is, benefits that come from the activity or policy itself, apart from any financial benefits. Does a policy improve the eight hours people spend at work? What are the most common kinds of informative and positive messages? Lo 10-4 > Transmittals, confirmations, summaries, adustments, and thank-you notes. Many messages can be informative, negative, or persuasive depending on what you have to ‘say. A transmittal, for example, can be positive when you're sending glowing sales figures ‘or persuasive when you want the reader to act on the information. A performance appraisal is positive when you evaluate someone who's doing superbly, negative when you want 10 compile a record to justify firing someone, and persuasive when you want to motivate a satisfactory worker fo continue to improve. A collection letter is persuasive; it becomes negative in the last stage when you threaten legal action. Bach of these messages is di ccussed in the module for the pattern it uses most frequently. However, in some cases you ‘will need to use a pattern from a different module. Transmittals When you send someone something in an organization, attach a memo or letter of trans- ‘ital explaining what you're sending. A transmittal can be as simple as a small yellow Post-it™ note with “FYI” written on it ("For Your Information”) or it can be a sepa- rate typed document, especially when it transmits a formal document such as a report (> see Module 24). Organize a memo or letter of tansmital in this order: |. Tell the reader what you're sending. 2. Summarize the main point(s) of the document, 3. Indicate any special circumstances or information that would help the reader understand the document, Is ita draft? Is ita partial document that will be completed later? 4, Tell the reader what will happen next. Will you do something? Do you want a response? If you do want the reader to act, specify exactly what you want the reader to do and give a deadline.‘Module 10 Inirmaive and Postive Messages 181 Frequently, transmittals have important secondary purposes, such as building goodwill ‘and showing readers that you're working on projects they value. Confirmations Many informative messages record oral conversations. These messages are generally short and give only the information shared orally; they go to the other party in the conversation. Start the message by indicating that itis a confirmation, not a new message: ‘As we discussed on the phone tod ‘As told you yesterday, Attached is the meeting schedule we discussed ealier today. ‘Summaries ‘You may be asked to summarize a conversation, a document, or an outside meeting for colleagues or superiors. (Minutes of an internal meeting are usually more detailed. See “Module 18 for advice on writing minutes of meetings.) ‘In a summary of a conversation for internal use, identify ‘The people who were present. ‘The topic of discussion. Decisions made. ‘Who does what next, ‘To summarize a document 1. Start with the main point, 2. Give supporting evidence and details. 3. Evaluate the document, if your audience asks for evaluation. 4. Identify the actions your organization should take based on the document. Should ‘thers in the company read this book? Should someone in the company write a letter to the editor responding to this newspaper article? Should your company try to meet with someone in the organization that the story is about? Adjustments and Responses to Complaints A lotof consumers are angry these days, and organizations should be responding to their complaints, In a recent survey by Customer Care Measurement and Consulting, 45% of the consumers said they had had problems with a product or service in the past year, and ‘more than two-thirds of them were “very” or “extremely” upset about their problem, Most said they told friends or other people about their bad experience. This kind of bad publicity is even riskier in an Internet economy. A business traveler from Seattle was furious when hotel told him at two o'clock in the morning that his supposedly guaranteed room was already occupied. The traveler had to demand that the reluctant night clerk find him some- ‘where else to spend the night. Upon his retum home, the consultant prepared a Power- Point presentation about his experience and e-mailed ito some friends, Fortunately forthe hotel, he also mailed « copy to the manager. As the humorous presentation was forwarded tomore and more readers, the hotel quickly contacted him to solve the problem.” ‘When you grant a customer's request for an adjusted price, discount, replacement, or ‘other benefit to resolve a complaint, do so in the very first sentence.152 Unit Three Lote, Momos, Mal, and Web Vwiing ‘Thank-you notes canbe written on standard business statonen, Using standard formats. But one student noticed tat his aaveer realy tked cats and had pictures lth mn her offee. So he foun {cat cart for his thank-you noe. Don’t talk about your own process in making the decision. Don't say anything that sounds grudging. Give the reason for the original mistake only if it reflects credit on the company. (In most cases, it doesn’t, so the reason should be omitted.) Thank-You and Congratulatory Notes Sending @ thank-you note will make people more willing to help you again in the future. Thank-you letters can be short but must be prompt. They need to be specific 10 sound sincere. Congratulating someone can cement good feelings between you and the reader and enhance your own visibility. Again, specifics help. ‘Avoid language that may seem condescending or patronizing. A journalism profes- sor was offended when a former student wrote to congratulate her for a feature article that appeared in a major newspaper. As the professor pointed out, the lettr’s language implied that the writer had more status than the person being praised. ‘The praiser was “quite impressed,” congratulated the professor on reaching a conclusion that the praiser hhad already reached, and assumed thatthe professor would have wanted to discuss matters with the praiser. To the reader, “Keep up the good work!” implied thatthe one cheering her (on had been waiting for ages atthe finish line.* How can | apply what I’ve learned in this module? Lot0-s > Plan your activites and answer the PAIBOC questions. Before you tackle the assignments for this module, examine the following problem. Figure 4.1 (<4 p. 62) lists the activities needed to produce a good message. See how the PAIBOC questions probe the basic points required for a solution. Study the two sample solutions to see what makes one unacceptable and the other one good. Note the recom- ‘mendations for revision that could make the good solution excellent.’ The checklist at the end of the Module in Figure 10.6 can help you evaluate a draftModule 10 iniermatve and Postive Messages 158 Problem Interstate Fidelity Insurance (IFI) uses computers to handle its payments and billings, ‘There is often a time lag between receiving a payment from a customer and recording it on the computer. Sometimes, while the payment is in line tobe processed, the computer sends ‘out additional notices: past-due notices, collection letters, even threats to sue. Customers are frightened or angry and write asking for an explanation. In most cases, if they just ‘waited a little while, the situation would be straightened out. But policyholders are afraid that they'll be without insurance because the company thinks the bill has not been paid IFI doesa'thave the time to check each individual situation to see if the check did arrive ‘and has been processed. It wants you to write a letter that will persuade customers to wait If something is wrong and the payment never reached IFI, IFI would send a legal notice to that effect saying that the policy would be canceled by a certain date (which the notice ‘would specify) at least 30 days after the date on the original premium bill. Continuing ‘customers always get this legal notice as a third chance (after the original bill and the past ‘due notice) Prepare a form letter that can go out to every policyholder who claims to have paid a ‘premium for automobile insurance and resents getting a past-due notice. The letter should reassure readers and build goodwill for IF. Analysis of the Problem P_ What are your purposes in writing or speaking? To reassure readers: they're covered for 30 days. To inform them they can assume everything is OK unless they receive a second notice. To avoid further correspondence on this subject. To build goodwill for IFI: (a) we don't want to suggest IFI is error-prone or too cheap to hire enough people to do the necessary work; (b) we don't want readers to switch companies; (c) we do want readers to buy from IF when they're ready for more insurance. A. Who is (are) your audience(s)? How do the members of your audience differ from ‘each other? What characteristics are relevant to this particular message? ‘Automobile insurance customers who say they've paid but have still received fa past-due notice. They'te afraid they're no longer insured. Because it's a form letter, different readers will have different situations: in some cases payment did arrive late, in some cases the company made a mistake, in some the reader never paid (check lost in mail, unsigned, bounced, ete). 1 What information must your message include? Readers are still insured. We cannot say whether their checks have now been processed (company doesn’t want to check individual accounts). Their insurance will be canceled if they do not pay after receiving the second past-due notice (the legal notice). B__ What reasons or reader benefits can you use to support your position? ‘Computers help us provide personal service to policyholders. We offer policies to meet all their needs. Both of these points would need specifics to be interesting ‘and convincing 0 What objections can you expect your reader(s) to have? What negative elements of ‘your message must you deemphasize or overcome? ‘Computers appear 10 cause errors, We don’t know if the checks have been processed. We will cancel policies if their checks don’t arrive. How will the context affect the reader's response? Think about your relationship t0 the reader, morale in the organization, the economy, the time of year, and any special circumstances Go! ‘weve bluemountain.com! lctronic greeting cards are Junto Send and ecetve: they build goodval. Go! ‘wvew planetfeedback.com “Tread sample ters praising ‘companies, choose a company ‘or industy and choose ‘Compliment under Feedback Type. wf i)Building a Critical Skill Writing a Goodwill Ending Lo 10-6 ‘Goodwill endings focus on the business relationship you share Goodwill Many employee patients appreciate the freedom with your reader. When you write to one person, a good last ending: toleave the hospital fora few hours. I's ‘paragraph fits that person specifically. When you write to some- ‘working with a hospital that is flexible enough to ‘one who represents an organization, the last paragraph can refer offer that option. to your company's relationship to the reader's organization. Also Omit the paragraph; stop after the ‘When you write to a group (for example, to “All Employees”) acceptable: explanation, ‘your ending should apply to the whole group. Possibilities include complimenting the reader for a job well ‘done, describing a reader benefit, or looking forward to some~ ‘thing positive that relates to the subject ofthe message, For example, consider possible endings for a letter answer~ ing the question, “When a patient leaves the hospital and ‘etums, should we count it as a new stay?” For one company, the answer was that if a patient was gone from the hospital ‘ovemight or longer, the hospital should start a new claim when the patient was readmitted. ‘Some writers end every message with a standard invitation: Ifyou have questions, please do not hesitate to ask. ‘That sentence lacks positive emphasis (+ p. 102). But say- ing “Teel free to call’—though more positive —is rely a good dea. Most ofthe time, the writer should omit the sentence and ‘make the original message clear. One of the reasons you write is to save the time needed to tell everyone individually. People in business aren't shrinking violets; they will call if they need help. Do make sure your phone number is inthe letterhead or is typed below Weak closing Should you have any questions regarding is _your name. You can also add your e-mail address below paragraph: matter, please fel free w call me. your name. ‘The insurance business is highly competitive—other companies offer similar rates z and policies. The customer could get a similar policy for about the same money Fe from someone else. Most people find that money is tight, so they'll want to keep surance costs low. On the other hand, the fact that prices are steady or rising means thatthe value of what they own is higher—they need insurance more than ever. Many insurance companies are refusing to renew policies (car, lability, Wah nearly 25% ofthe goal malpractice insurance). These refusals to renew have gotten lots of publicity, and Sberinpanrescrad many people have heard horror stories about companies and individuals whose chalenge 6 fx employers a Ra maps oe me. insurance has been canceled or not renewed after a small number of claims. neanaiencenes! Readers don’t feel very kindly toward insurance companies. tape cares teat People need car insurance. If they have an accident and arent covered they not ‘no mere poche ores, ‘only have to bear the costs ofthat accident alone but also (depending on state law) {2S alone, eximats of he may need to place as much as $50,000 ina state escrow account to cover future costs ae ashigh a $51 biton rnuely cto absentee sand bt producti tem Cepressaerpbiees. Discussion of the Sample Solutions . aa ‘The solution in Figure 10.4 is unacceptable. The red marginal comments show problem GiarerofVerkas Ae Cepesent” spots. Because thisis a form letter, we cannot tell customers we have their checks; in some Tre il Stet Joana Nowmber cases, we may not. The letter is far too negative. The explanation in paragraph 2 makes LF1 accidents. They have a legitimate worry. eae look irresponsible and uncaring. Paragraph 3 is far too negative. Paragraph 4 is too vague; BD tere are no reader benefits: te ending sounds elich, Seitwestoaten rte | A maj weakness wih the solution ita it ls phrases aight out ofthe problem; Geomaion ces encet | ye wrt dors wot scem have thought about he problem or abut the words he o shes EE sing. Measaing te rah aginst the answers to fa quealon for analysis suggests that eer a5 this writer should start over. Fe A cluon in Figuc 103 is much bee. The blue marginal comments show the lt oat ter'sswong poats. The message opens withthe good mews tht is tru fo ll ade (Whenever possible, one should use the good news pattern of organization.) Paragraph 2 198Module 10 rvoratvo and Postive Messages 188 Figure 10.4 An Unacceptable Solution to the Sample Problem Need date Dear Customer: Nocnecessariy ue Relax. Wegot your check nee" the time payments come in and the time they are waiting tobe processed, the computer with super- ‘ootl® human quickness is sending out ps and Ghreats of! forest ing you should@ony about. No policy would ve to that effect giving a specific date for Cancellation which would Nee#*6 be at least 30 days after the date on the original premium notice. Freely you want buy more surance, jst contac yours nett aty agent We will be happy to help you. ic apecic enh to wort Tis paragraph on pee attitude and Sincerely, rea bre acts poate enpos Figure 10.5 A Good Solution to the Sample Problem Need date pera ee Dear Customer: (eieon of aspecif reader Yarstoimnciettinaten, 6 Pastdue notices are mailed out if the payment has not been processed within three Gooite days after the due date. This may happen fa check is delayed inthe mail or arrives eovvicice ‘withouta signature or account number. When your check arrives wid all the socio, ROCESATY information, tis promptly credited to Your ACCOUME ace “2ires Even ita checks lost inthe mal and never reaches us, youstilhave a 30-day grace worse period. If you do get a second notice, you'll know that we stil ave not received your ‘heck. To hep your insurance in force just stop payment on the fist check andl send ‘second one, Computer procesing of our acount grates that you tan discounts yout eee ae ae er eee Peake ee Berets Open uses computer racking to ind matching parts quickly, whatever car you drive. a, eee a a eee a ale rk Geer eae for inecONSUNESNAESS pnts pera Too negative ers put vasa: WA ie isha Pe a etme are Ho ee oe Ptemnatary solvent rane peg DE eee Eee en ee Toa a “Susy insurea personal computer, a coin or gun collection, or a fine antique, you can get that wei! from TF, too. Good apeciics Whatever your insurance needs—auto, home, life, or ealth—one cal to IF can do it all Acceptsbleercng Sincerely,156 Unit Three Leiter, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Whiting Figure 10.6 explains IFI's policy. It avoids assigning blame and ends on a positive note. The negative information is buried in paragraph 3 and is presented positively: The notice is information, nota threat; the 30-day extension is a “grace period.” Telling the reader now what to do if second notice arrives eliminates the need for a second exchange of letters. Paragraph 4 offers benefits for using computers, since some readers may blame the notice on comput- ers, and offers benefits for being insured by IFL. Paragraph 5 promotes other policies the company sells and prepares for the last paragraph. {As the red comments indicate, this good solution could be improved by personalizing the salutation and by including the name and number ofthe local agent. Computers could make both of these insertions easily. This good letter could be made excellent by revising paragraph 4 so that it doesn't end on a negative note, and by using more reader benefits. For instance, do computers help agents advise clients of the best policies for them? Does IFI offer good service—quick. friendly. nonpresssured—that could be stressed? Are agents well trained” All of these might yield ideas for additional reader benefits. Informative and Positive Messages C1 Docs the subject ine give the good news Is the subject line specific enough to di ferent thi message from others onthe same subject? C1 Does the first paragraph summarize the information or good news? If the informa- tions too complex tot into a single paragraph, does the paragraph ist the basic parts ofthe policy or information in the order in which the memo discusses them? 1 Isat the information given inthe message? (What information is needed wll vary depending onthe message, but information about dates, places, time, and anything rolled money usally neds toe included, When in dou sk) Zn messages announcing polices, ster at east one reader benefit for each seginen of the audience? Are all eader benefits ones hat seem ikely to oecurin organization? Ci Iseach reader benefit developed, showing that the benefit will come from the policy and why the benefit matters to this organiatin? Do the benefits build on the job dts of people in this organization andthe specific eicumstanees of the organization’? Des the message end wit a positive paragraph—preferably one that is specifi to the reader, a general one that could ft any organization or policy? And, for all messages, not just informative and positive ones, C1 Does the message use youn and positive emphasis? the style easy to read and friendly? Cts the visual design of the message ieviting? Dts the tormat correct? Does the message use standard grammar? Is it free from typos? Originality in a positive or informative message may come from 1 Creating good headings, lists, and visual impact. Developing reader benefits Thinking about readers and giving dtl that answer ther questions and make it ease for them to understand and follow the policy.-A-aubject line isthe se of a document. A good subject line ‘meas thee criteria: i's speci: i's easonably short: and it's adapted 10 the kind of message (positive, ncpaive, persuasive) IF you can't make the subject both specific and short be spe- cific (LO 1041) ‘The subject line fer an informative o positive message should Iighlight any good news and summarize the information con- cists (0 10-1) Informative and postive messages normally use the following tte of organization: (LO 102) 1. Give any good news and summarize the main pins. 2 Give dei, laicaton, background 3. Present any negative elements s positively as possible. 4S Explain any reader benefits 5. Usea gov ening: post, penonal and frwant ooking. Use reader benefits in informative and postive messages when (0103) ‘Module 10 tormative and Postive Messages 157 ‘Summary of Learning Objectives + You are presenting policies. + You want to shape readers’ atitudes toward the information ‘ortoward your organization, ‘+ Stessing benefits presents readers’ motives positively. + Some ofthe benefits may not be obvious to readers. ‘Transmitals confirmations, summaries, adjustments, and thank- {You noles are common types of informative and postive ‘messages. (LO 10-4) Use the PAIBOC questions listed in Module 1 to examine the basic points needed for successful informative ark postive messages. (LO 10-5) ‘Goodwill endings focus on the business relationship you share with your reader: (LO 10-6) ‘To create a goodwill ending, (LO 106) + Compliment the reader for job well done. + Describe a reader benefit. “+ Look forward to something postive tht relatesto the message.