DARKNESS ENDS, WHERE THE LIGHT STARTS

Clipped wings, I was a broken thing. I couldn’t fly, I couldn’t scream. I had a voice, but I

could not sing. I tried smiling, but one with an implicit message, something contrary to its

nature. I laughed and I twinkled my eyes, as far as I can and as genuine as I can. But I guess, you

can never fake your feelings, you can never falsify yourself.

I was left alone in the dark of my own cold wilderness. A world I’ve known just recently.

Where is it, you ask? It’s inside me, somewhere between sadness and worries and anxieties and

questions. It’s a world beyond fantasies, smiles, and happiness. It’s another dimension where

anguish, pain, and grief all exist at the one time. It’s a rogue world, watered by tears and

nourished by shattered hearts. It is where disappointments and frustrations are cultivated to

make you feel less and small, where smiling is a crime and laughing is unbecoming. From the

inside out, it’s slowly devouring me, gradually transforming me to my own nightmare. It was a

pain unlike anything, more than needles and scalpels could ever give you.

Do you know something more painful than wounds and rejection? It’s the loss of

someone that means the world to you. When the two of you started something so wonderful,

and something that you’ve always wanted. We built worlds, and we lit it up with stars of our

own conception. We created memories nourished with joy. We had something, something they

called “love story”. Then at the end, everything concluded with an abrupt stop. That stop was in

itself the ultimate denouement, death.

Beyond that, I also experienced rejections. As worriless and as happy as I may appear, I

am also fighting my own battles. I am also dealing with my own insecurities. And all of my life, it
was always about trying to free myself from the chains and grasps of a mercenary that sorrows

me, my own thinking.