The desire for a more positive experience is itself a negative experience.

And,
paradoxically, the acceptance of one�s negative experience is itself a positive
experience.
Pursuing something only reinforces that you lack it in the first place.

�You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of.
You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.� -Albert Camus
Happiness is good in small regular doses but a desire for continuous happiness is
no worse than drug addiction.
If you are able to not give a fuck about the pain your goals require, then you
become unstoppable

Subtlety #2: To not give a fuck about adversity, you must first care about
something more important than adversity.
Subtlety #3: Whether you realize it or not, you are always choosing what to give a
fuck about. The key is to gradually prune the things you care about, so that you
only give a fuck on the most important of occasions.

Practical enlightenment is the act of becoming comfortable with the idea that some
suffering is always inevitable.

There is no value in suffering when it is done without purpose.

Emotions are simply biological signals designed to nudge you in the direction of
beneficial change.
Negative emotions are a sign that something is going unaddressed. They are a call
to action. Positive emotions are the reward for taking the correct action.
We should question our emotions because they are not always right.

the entire point is to love the climb

Most of us are pretty average at most things we do. Even if you�re exceptional at
one thing, chances are you�re average or below average at most other things.
We only see the most exceptional news stories because that�s what drives revenue.
This is a real problem when it comes to comparison because you can only be
exceptional in one thing thing and you�re going to be below average in nearly
everything else. That makes comparison a very dangerous game to play.

People who are terrified of what others think about them are actually terrified of
all the negative things they think about themselves being reflected back at them.
Growth is an endlessly iterative process. When we learn something new, we don�t go
from �wrong� to �right.� Rather, we go from wrong to slightly less wrong. We
shouldn�t seek to find the ultimate �right� answer for ourselves, but rather, we
should seek to chip away at the ways that we�re wrong today so that we can be a
little less wrong tomorrow

Manson�s Law of Avoidance: The more something threatens your identity, the more you
will avoid it. The more something threatens how you view yourself, the more you
will avoid getting around to doing it
If I believe I�m a nice guy, I�ll avoid situations that could potentially
contradict that belief.

Investing deeply in one person, one place, one job, one activity might deny us the
breadth of experience we�d like, but pursuing a breadth of experience denies us the
opportunity to enjoy the rewards of depth of experience

The only way to be comfortable with death is to understand and see yourself as
something bigger than yourself, to contribute to some much larger entity.

Bad values are superstitious, socially destructive, and not controllable.

Good values are reality-based, socially constructive, and controllable.
Only choose to have values you can control.
Don�t believe you know anything with certainty, for it keeps you from improving.
Trying to leave a legacy might ruin your life.

: success has nothing to do with self-improvement

Remember this: Chasing success and striving for self-improvement are two different
games.

One can only be concerned about a limited number of things in life. The goal should
be to be calm and serene towards everything except the absolutely essential.

Negative emotions are a call to action.

Positive emotions, on the other hand, are rewards for taking the proper action.
Just because something feels good doesn�t mean it is good. Just because something
feels bad doesn�t mean it is bad. Emotions are merely signposts or suggestions.
Make a habit of questioning them.
Self-awareness is like an onion. There are multiple layers to it:

The first layer is a simple understanding of one�s emotions.

We all have blind spots.

The second layer is an ability to ask why we feel certain emotions.

Why do you feel angry? Is it because you failed to achieve some goal?
Why do you feel lethargic and uninspired? Is it because you don�t think you�re good
enough?
Understand the root cause of the emotions that overwhelm you.

The third layer is our personal values.

Why do I consider this to be success/failure?
How am I choosing to measure myself?
By what standard am I judging myself and everyone around me?

If what we value is poorly chosen, then everything will be out of whack.

Personal growth can actually be quite scientific.

Our values are our hypotheses.
Our actions are the experiments.
The resulting emotions and thought patterns are our data.

We are defined by what we choose to reject.

The desire to avoid rejection at all costs, to avoid confrontation and conflict, is
a deep valueless, pleasure-driven, and self-absorbed life
Ask yourself, �If I refused, how would the relationship change?�
Similarly, ask, �If my partner refused something I wanted, how would the
relationship change?�