If 70 years ago authoritarian method was the popular way of raising your

children, that’s no longer the case now. In fact, these days, it is very hard to
implement that parenting style where children have to follow strict rules
established by the parents -without being explained the reasoning behind it and
when they don’t do that, we punish them. Punitive actions no longer work in
disciplining children anymore, but instead it will only do them harm for the long
run.

Furthermore, digitalisation has certainly played a massive role in changing the

landscape of parenting. With social media, movies, pornography and violent
contents being so easily accessible, the question of how do we aid our children
to safely walk the path of adolescence has just got more complicated. In a world
where children are "growing up digital," it's important to help them learn
healthy concepts of digital use and citizenship. Parents play an important role in
teaching these skills.
01 Kids and Technology 3

02 Help your Child Study Better 9

03 Understand your Child’s Learning Style 14

04 Simple Money Lessons 21

05 When your Child Starts Dating 28

06 Sex Education for Kids 32

 any parents worry about the impact of mobile technology on children surely has
justifiable concerns. However, media and digital devices are an integral part of our world
today. Even schools are using technology as a learning tool. This proves that the benefits of
these devices, if used moderately and appropriately, can be great. Parenting your children can
be a daunting task in this world where they may trust the internet more than you.
Nonetheless, instead of restricting your child from using technology at all, there are some
measures that can be taken to protect our children from the dangers of the digital world.
Helping your Child Study Better

“To be in your
children’s
memories, you have
to be in their lives
today”
– B. Johnson

Connect with your Child

Most of the time, the reason why children and teenagers turn to their devices is that
their parents are not there for them to turn to. Find time to connect with your child,
ask them about their day and give them their overdue hugs & kisses if you haven’t
done so for a long time. Although it is an uncommon practice within the Asians,
affectionate touch is very crucial in your child’s development, both mentally and
physically. Should you be curious about their love life, friends or activities that they
are currently engaging in, talk, don’t stalk. For them to open up, they need to be
comfortable with you first. You might need to give them time, but do stay supportive
in the process.

Technology is not a ‘Pacifier’

Yes, technology is always the most effective way to keep your kids calm and quiet,
but this is not the best solution. Children need to be taught how to identify and
handle strong emotions, come out with activities to manage boredom, calm down
through simply breathing, sharing their emotions and solving it, and finding other
ways to channel their emotions.
Kids and Technology Mind-set
It is important for parents to stay ahead in the digital trend to guide their kids
through the digital age. There are positive and negative effects of digital media on
children. The key is for parents to have enough flexibility to provide their children
with what is appropriate for that particular child. We understand that some parents
may face difficulties learning to use the technology, but for the sake of your children,
it is important for parents to learn and be part of their development.

Set Screen Time Limit

Media use, like all other activities, should have reasonable limits. Make unplugged
playtime a daily priority, especially for very young children. In addition, face-to-face
time with family, friends, and teachers plays a pivotal role in promoting children's
learning and healthy development. Keep the face-to-face up front, and don't let it
get lost behind a stream of media and tech.

Punishment OR Explanation?
Researches had proven that punishing
children can do them harm for the
long run. In fact, you are only teaching
them that violence it is normal to use
verbal and physical abuse to resolve a
dispute when they grow up.

Try positive discipline - A model that

teaches children how to engage with
problems in a calm and wise manner.
When a child commits a mistake, you
properly explain to them why it is
wrong to do so, and find a better
solution for it. This approach is more
democratic, it doesn’t put down the
child and your child is actually learning
something from it.
Kids and Technology

“Children learn more from what you are than what you teach. Be a good
reflection for them.” – K. Health

Role Model
You won’t need to marvel at walking on the runway to be a good parent, but you
certainly need to know how to walk the talk. Children’s behaviour are massively
influenced by what they perceive, especially during their early years of life. Hence, if
you want them to do it, you show it. Rather than just setting rules to limit your
children’s tech use, you need to curb your own digital habits too. You can’t expect
your child to not watch the TV, when you are constantly on your phone, scrolling
through Facebook. It’s just unfair. Instead, take some time to bring them out for a jog
or a picnic, read books with them, teach them about sympathy by bringing them to
volunteering programmes etc.

Kids and Technology
Privacy and Online Dangers
Before letting our children start their
digital journey, we should consider
these two ‘rites of passage’ – the
sharing of values and knowledge. The
sharing of values is crucial in helping
our children understand how to use
technology responsibly. Cyberbullying,
for example, typically happens
because children are not enlightened
of its consequences and don’t feel like
it is something wrong to do (i.e. it’s
just for fun).
It is also very important to educate
our children on how to fully utilise
the net and how to protect
themselves when they’re on it. Take
time to share with your children about
their privacy and the means to protect
it from being violated. Ensure they
know the dangers of online predators
and whatever they share online –
image, video & thoughts will instantly
become a part of their digital footprint
indefinitely. Most importantly, keep
lines of communication open and let
them know you’re there if they have
questions or concerns.
Monitor their Behaviour and
Set Restrictions
The same parenting guidelines apply
in both real and virtual environments.
Kids will be kids. They will indefinitely
make mistakes using media. Try to
handle errors with empathy and turn a
mistake into a teachable moment.
Some indiscretions such as sexting,
bullying, or posting self-harm images,
may be a red flag. Parents must
observe carefully their children's
behaviours, know what platforms,
apps and sites your children visit and
what they do online. It is also
important to know your children’s
friends, both online and offline.
Remember that not all apps are as
“educational” as it promotes,
therefore it is important for parents to
read reviews and screen through the
app before letting your child use them.
Another good measure for parents is
to utilise the parenting control
functions that most devices have, and
block any sites or apps that you think
are harmful for your children.
Kids and Technology Stop Comparing
“I can do it when I was younger, why can’t you do it?” “I don’t know why you can’t
be more hardworking like your sister.” Comparison has become so common in our
society because of our expectations of how our little one should grow up to be. As
much as we only want the best for them, your child should not be forced to strive in
things they are not interested it, just because someone else’s daughter is good at it.
They will only end up not doing well, lose confidence and feeling hatred for those
they are being compared to. We need to start teaching our little ones that
satisfaction should not come from beating other people, it comes from bettering
ourselves.

Positive Enforcement
Skinner (1938) believed that the
human brains learn to accept or ditch
an action by reasoning the reward or
punishment that is attached to that
behaviour. The premise is simple, if
you get a reward for doing something,
that behaviour is reinforced; so you do
it more. When you get a punishment
for doing something deemed wrong,
that behaviour is weakened; so you do
it less.

These types of reinforcements are

very good at instilling values and
disciplining children. Hence, whenever
your child is doing something well, do
give them a simple compliment or a
small gift, as this will allow them a sense of accomplishment and even motivation to
do better next time. Similarly, if they did something wrong, it is also necessary for
you to correct them accordingly.
Education has always been parents’ first priority for the kids, and that explains the drastic
increase in international schools enrolments. However, parents cannot only rely on the
teachers as parents themselves play the most important role in your child’s education.
Nevertheless, most parents often feel helpless when it comes to helping their child in their
studies. They just don’t know how to help them as education now is so much more different
than education during their time.

Truth is, you don’t have to know all your children’s syllabus to be able to help them. That is the
school’s responsibility. Instead, parents can help to instil good study habits and monitor your
child’s progress. Here are some ways parents can consider in helping your child study better.
Helping your Child Study Better

“Children
must be taught
how to think,
not what to
think”

Have Designated Study Space

It’s essential that your children have their own study space, even at a very young
age. This promotes a focused space for them to study better. When your child takes
charge of their own ‘territory’, they will be more motivated to finish their tasks.
Ensure that space is well-lit and away from any distractions

Avoid Distractions
In this digital age, the internet is an amazing tool for studies, but also a huge
distraction to children. Take one step further and instil a ‘communication blackout’
policy by removing any usage of computers or mobile devices until schoolwork is
done. However, if they are required to use the computer for studies, parents can
install parental control software that blocks social media and entertainment sites
while they are studying.
Helping your Child Study Better Have a Study Schedule
Setting a study schedule enables consistency and efficiency in studying. This is also
to ensure you and your child are able to keep track of their progress especially when
exams are near. You can set the study schedule if your child is still young, but
otherwise, train your child to do it themselves. Let your child assign topics and
subjects to cover each day, leading up to a due date or exam. Do remember to
include a 15 to 20 minutes break in between.

Create a Group Study

Having occasional group study can help children to have a more interesting study
session. Yes, it is still necessary to let your child study on their own but having group
study occasionally is good for your child. When they study in groups, they would be
able to help each other when any of them are struggling to understand a topic.
Hence, they will complete schoolwork or projects faster too. Do keep the study
group small and structured, otherwise, the study group may turn into a playgroup
instead!

Get Organised
Training your child to be organized can
start early as it is much easier to
develop good habits when they are
younger. As your child will already be
juggling between schoolwork, tests,
projects and extracurricular activities,
you can start by having them to record
their own schedule in a planner.
Although you will have their schedule,
let them keep track of their own
schedule and update you. Your child
should also have the habit to note
down all their schoolwork, projects
and to-do lists, and reviewing them at
the end of the day.
Helping your Child Study Better

Teach your Child to Ask for Help

Especially when your child is still young, they will be shy to ask questions or speak
out in class. Keep encouraging and reminding your child to ask for help from you or
the teacher if they find difficulty understanding any lesson or schoolwork. Children
will need constant encouragement to develop the habit and confidence to seek help
when they need to.

Make Learning Fun

Most international schools adopts holistic education in this digital age, where
children are taught in a more fun and engaging way. This approach to education is in
line with each child’s unique skills and learning style. If your child is having at fun at
school, we should make learning fun at home as well. For example, you may teach
them to create dance moves to remember a science equation or perhaps composing
a song together to memorise a topic. While travelling, you may give your children a
map and make it their responsibility to direct you.
Helping your Child Study Better Teach them Note-Taking Methods
Children should not be cramming the whole textbook into their brain. Parents can
teach your child effective note-taking methods such as the outline method, Cornell
method, mapping method, boxing method or charting method. Taking notes
effectively is important as it promotes an easier method of studying and your child
will be more organized as well. Colourful highlighters are very useful fun tools for
your child too. This good habit developed at an early age will help your child
massively even in university.

“Education is not the learning of the fact, but the training of the
mind to think.” – Albert Einstein

Have a Mock Exam at Home

It is normal for your child to feel stressed when taking an exam as they’re afraid they
do not know the answers or cannot finish the paper in time. Parents can either
download past year papers or get help from teachers to set mock paper for your
child to work on at home as practice. Have it like a proper examination with a time
limit and a totally quiet environment. This way, your child will be more confident
sitting for exams and at the same time, they are studying as well!
 Learning Style
Here’s a true story. Pauline often lose focus in class when her teacher starts talking and she’ll
naturally fall asleep. Her mum has received multiple complaints from her teachers but Pauline
never listens. The funny part is, she’s fully attentive during lab experiments, cooking lessons,
sports and of course, recess. Her teachers and mum simply don’t understand that everyone
has different learning style. Pauline is not an auditory learner – So, she’ll definitely fall asleep
when the teachers keep talking!

Parents, don't misunderstand that your child is goofing around or driving you up the wall.
Every child has different learning style - Visual, Auditory and Kinesthetic and they're also
finding strategies to help them learn better.
Understand your Child’s Learning Style

“65% of the
population
are visual
learner. We
need to see to
think”

VISUAL LEARNERS
Visual learners, often called spatial learners, and they learn best by
seeing. Their strength is definitely their eyesight – they will take notice of
everything they see, including the smallest detail in a poster. Visual
learners gain information from sight and they need to convert spoken
instructions into visual form by taking notes or doodling.
Understand your Child’s Learning Style Characteristics
 Great spacial sense, which makes them good with map reading and a strong
sense of direction
 Able to visualise and picture things in their mind
 Have a good sense in dressing and colour matching
 Recalls appearances with ease
 Recognises body language and facial expressions
 Often creative and have a good sense of orientation & planning
 Notices visual details that others might miss
 Good at taking notes in the form of text and doodles
 Appreciates pictures and illustrations in books
 Loves watching videos, films and movies
 Often lose focus and fall asleep in seminars and talks where they need to
activate their auditory ability

What can you do to help them excel?

 Learns well from flash cards, illustrations, pictures, mind maps, charts,
diagrams, videos, etc.
 Use bright colours to attract their attention
 Surround him or her with books
 Stock up art supplies for them to draw, doodle and create visual art of what
they’re learning
 Teach them to use highlighters with their notes
 Create a quiet, non-distracting (less things to see) space for them to work on
their homework
 Let them watch documentary or educational videos
Understand your Child’s Learning Style

“Teaching is
listening,
Learning is
talking”

AUDITORY LEARNERS
Auditory learners learn best by hearing. Classroom environment suits this
type of learning best and teachers often love teaching them as they’re
more obedient and easy-to-teach. Auditory learners easily comprehend,
process and retain information in school lessons and university lectures.
They are also to listen to spoken word and interpret tone with high level
of accuracy and efficiency.
Understand your Child’s Learning Style Characteristics
 Good at remembering people’s names
 Loves listening to music and rhymes
 Remember song lyrics naturally and sing them out the next time
 Enjoys listening to audio books and storytelling
 Sensitive and easily distracted by sounds
 Strong sense of hearing. They can hear soft conversation and sound while
they’re busy at something.
 Remembers spoken information easily
 Prefers classes in lecture format
 Tends to record classes and lectures to hear them again
 Often lose their way as they have poor sense of direction and map reading
 Need to repeat what they see and often overlook their surroundings.
 Prefers someone to read a story to them rather than reading it themselves

What can you do to help them excel?

 Stimulate their learning and communication through discussion, group chat and
classrooms
 Presentations, exam, and reading out loud help auditory learner to study better
 Try to vary your tone and pitch when teaching your child to make it more
interesting
 Pair lessons with music, instrumental sound or clapping to let them study better
 Encourage them to say things out loud. Eg: Having a spelling bee, sing along to
rhymes or practice reading through audio book
 Record them reading or singing out lout, and let them listen to it later
 Make up a silly song or poem when they have to memorise something
Understand your Child’s Learning Style

“I hear, and I
will forget.
Show me, and I
may remember.
Involve me, and
I will
understand.”

KINESTHETIC LEARNERS
A smaller group of the population, kinesthetic learners are a complex bunch and
they learn best by doing. They’ll be bouncing around, fidgeting and running around
during your classes. Teachers will always have a hard time teaching them and they
are often regarded as the naughty students in class. Kinesthetic learners often
struggle learning through traditional and sedentary textbook learning. They learn
best through physical activity, muscle movement and hands-on learning experience.
If you often hear your child saying “Let me see that.”, “Let me hold that.” or “I want
to explore everything here.”, they’re most likely to be a kinesthetic learner.
Understand your Child’s Learning Style Characteristics
 Unable to sit still. They need to move around and explore the environment
 Likes touching objects and people
 Always curious about the surroundings
 Gets bored and lose focus with traditional textbook learning
 Enjoys sports and physical education
 Needs to participate in everything, rather than watch others do it
 Gets excited over field trips, projects or physical experiments
 Gets satisfaction from creating things with their hands
 Often high energy
 Very sharp reflexes and respond to emergency situations quick

What can you do to help them excel?

 Learn best through practical experience as they learn by actually doing it.
 Let them sit on tyre, bicycle or big gym ball in classrooms to add motion to their
learning
 Standing desks help them to focus more as well. You can stack books to create a
workspace higher than normal desk at home.
 Give them hands-on tasks or fun games to let them experiment and learn
 Let them read books with interactions such as textured books, pop-ups, little
doors for them to open and close or strings for them to tie
 Pattern blocks and solid items can be used to help them learn math concept
 Give them textured paper to write on and let them choose from a variety of
different sized pencil & pens
 Use physical motions like dancing, hand clapping or finger snapping to help
them memorise information
 Let them get their hands dirty in Arts & Craft in between studies
 For Kids
Max released his small hands from yours and dashed towards his favourite LEGO shop. You let
out a heavy sigh and a voice whispered in your head, "Oh no, here we go again." It has been a
rough week for you, dealing with tight deadlines at work and then, having to spend on
unexpected home repairs. And now, your child begs you to buy him a new LEGO toy when he
has other toys at home. "Come, let's go." As usual, you try explaining but your child just drops
to the floor wailing, crying and begging you to buy it for him. The more you refuse, the louder
he screams.
Simple Money Lessons for Kids Now, think about it, many parents
would say that it is normal for kids to
behave like that because they are
young and do not understand the
value of money. Question is, why do
we want them to learn swimming or
ballet, but not money skills? Because
money related topics should be
discussed among adults? Or perhaps
we, as parents are not good with
money as well. Most of us are only
financially literate when we enter the
workforce and we only learn from trial
and error. However, financial literacy is
an important life skills and it is
extremely important to have them
learn to establish good money habits
at an early age.

Starting Early
A 2013 study by Cambridge University has shown that children are ready to
learn about financial literacy from 5 to 7 years old. At this age, they’ll
eventually notice and learn their parents’ spending habit. Parents play a
pivotal role in educating your child in financial literacy and as well as being
a good role model to them. You have to set a healthy example for them and
they’ll be much more likely to follow when they are older.

Like why we always emphasize on the importance of early childhood

education, children’s critical thinking and decision making is largely
influence by their ‘habits of mind’. Planting the seed of financial literacy in
your child’s mind early eventually helps them to build a strong foundation
for their future. Your children will not only learn about money, but also
responsibility, family values and attitudes, decision-making, comparative
shopping, and setting goals and priorities.
Simple Money Lessons for Kids
Money Concepts
Below are some of the very basic money concepts your kids should learn
along the way:

 Concept of Earning – How money is earned? What do adults have to

do to earn money? Why do we need to earn money? Is it easy to earn
money? Let your child understand the hard work that goes behind
earning money, so they have to treasure money and not spend as they
like. You can also share with them about your career and why you
chose it.

 Concept of Saving – Why is saving important? Why must you set aside
money for future use? Parents can start giving your kids allowance as
soon as they can count money. While children tend to save for a short
term goal to buy a new toy, it is important to teach them the
importance of long term saving as well.

 Concept of Spending – As kids are generally impulsive buyer as they

using your money. Therefore, parents play the most important role to
not give in so easily. Teach your child about being responsible with
handling or managing their money. For example, spending on
necessary things such as bills and food. What are the differences
between wants and needs? What is budgeting and spending within
your means?

 Concept of Sharing – Once they have saved up some money, be sure

to teach them about sharing and that giving back is an important part
of life. They can start by donating their old toys to the charity, and it is
even better for parents to bring them to visit any of the orphanage or
old folks home. Let them understand the importance of reaching out
to others in their time of need.
Simple Money Lessons for Kids Hands-On Experience and Games
In this digital age, children now learn better through games, activity and hands-on
experience. While schools are adopting holistic education, we as parents should also
find fun and creative ways to incorporate money lessons into our children’s daily life.
Children learn best through daily application and entrusting them with responsibility
to manage money. Here are some simple activities and games you can do everyday
with your child that you can enrich them with money lessons.

House Chores
Letting your child earn some money through doing house chores is one of the
simplest ways to teach them about earning money. However, some parents have
raised concerns that this method may backfire whereby children are only willing to
help out at home only if they’re paid for it. Therefore, one suggestion would be
instead of paying them for each completed chores, you can instead give them a
weekly allowance with conditions to help out with the chores.

“If you want your child to keep their feet on the ground, put some
responsibility on their shoulders.” – Abigail Van Buren
Simple Money Lessons for Kids having a party or a beach outing, give
them a task to list down what they
need, give them a budget and let them
plan out their own shopping list! This
teaches them the value of money, self-
discipline and budgeting.

Let them have their Own

Piggy Bank or Savings Jar
As traditional as it can be, savings jar
and piggy bank are still wonderful
teaching tools to show children how
money can grow. Most children love
collecting things like toys, stickers and
more. So, why not turn saving money
into a collection game? Give them
some coins or allowance each day and
let them deposit it into their jar or
Shopping piggy bank. At the end of the month,
get them to empty out the jar and
You can turn grocery shopping and
count the money. You can take them
mall outings into a fun teaching
out to buy something small with the
experience for your children. Instead
money.
of just looking at the items, show your
child the different prices of the same
item and have them compare the
different values. Entrust your little one
to pay for your shopping and count
the change. Let them experience what
it’s like to use money to exchange for
things. As they gets older, you can
show them the difference between
wants and needs such as not needing
to buy more pencils when they
already have enough, but instead
spend the money on an eraser
because their old one worn out. To
spice things up, whenever you’re
Simple Money Lessons for Kids

Bank Visit
Your children may watch you withdraw money from the ATM or use a credit card to
pay for shopping, but they will find it hard to understand how banking transaction
actually works. Kids being kids, they may just think that money would freely be given
to you when you go an ATM machine. Bring them to the bank and open a savings
account where they can put deposit their savings into. Show them how it works and
how online banking works. While savings account generate some interest, also teach
them different saving strategies that helps them generate interest. Your child will
then learn to appreciate saving money when they watch their savings grow.

Part-Time Jobs or Internships

For elder children, parents should encourage them to take up part-time jobs or
internships during the holidays for them to get a taste of the working world. You
don’t love them any lesser by doing so, and instead, you’re training them to be more
independent, mature and take charge of their own finances at an early age.
Simple Money Lessons for Kids Money-Related Games
Another great way to let your kids learn money skills in a fun way is by playing
games! There are many suitable money-related card and board games which is
designed for different age groups of children and teens. Some games teaches on
savings & spending while some teaches on managing cash flow and investments. It is
surely worth investing in these games to play together with your kids at home. Some
of the money-related games you can choose from are Monopoly, Payday, the Game
of Life, the Allowance Game, Act your Wage, Thrive Time for Teens and Cashflow
101.

Financial Literacy Class

There are a few enrichment centres and schools that offer financial literacy classes
that you can send your child to. As they have a structured syllabus for your child to
follow, this builds a stronger foundation for your child as they will learn money skills
step-by-step. For example, Dwi Emas International School takes a distinctive
viewpoint on financial literacy and adopts an entrepreneurial programme to their
curriculum. Edu Talent, a one-stop talent and fitness enrichment centre offers
Financial Literacy in their programme as well.
Don’t ever start dating until you graduate university!” You hear this common statement from
traditional parents, but does it really work? Kids are curious creatures and it is very common
for them to explore what relationships feel like, whether or not they are dating. I remember
how my parents would spy on me when I’m out with a group of friends. It instilled fear in me
and I refused to share anything with them, not even my first heartbreak.

You might not love the idea of your child dating but it is important that you are present
throughout the process because they still need your support and love because they may not
even know what dating is. Just ensure that you are clear of your rules & expectations for them.
So, in the circumstances where your child starts dating, what should you do?
When your Child Starts Dating
Mind-set
Don’t live in the denial that your kids
will always be kids forever. The fact
that your child will grow up and
someday be in the arms of another
person is inevitable. Instead, you have
to embrace the change and allow
them to open up to you about their
feelings. You wouldn’t want them
learning the rules of dating from peers
or the media, without your input.
After all, dating serves a very
important purpose in every child’s
development. As we all know,
relationships and healthy dating take a
lot of practice, trial & error, and
experience. Through relationships and
even heartbreaks, they learn to be
more confident when interacting with
members of the opposite sex, dealing
with their emotions, learning from
mistakes and eventually knowing what
is best for them.
Figure Out what ‘Dating’
Means to Your Child
You and your child may define ‘dating’
differently. A 10-year-old girl may say,
“Peter’s my boyfriend”, but what does
she mean? At her age, she may just
assume sitting together in class or at
recess as “dating”. Teens may think
that they’re dating when they are
merely texting online and maybe just
holding hands in school.
The first order of business with your
child should be to ask them to define
what they think about dating. You
could start with an opening line like:
“It sounds like a lot of kids are talking
about dating now. Is that something
you’re interested in?” Otherwise, you
could also make it more casual by
discussing it over TV shows or movies
that are age-appropriate.
Be kind with your words. Their
teenage romance may be just ‘puppy
love’ or ‘crush’ to you, but it’s very real
to them. Do not trivialise or make fun
of your child’s first relationship as this
will only discourage them to be honest
with you.
When your Child Starts Dating

“Be the type of

guy you would
want your
daughter to be
with.”

Bring your Child on a Date

You should take your child on their first date!! Just you and your child, on a real date.
Let them experience how a date should be and show them a good model of good
behaviour to look for in their partner. An important note, how you treat your child
will most likely reflect the kind of partner they will look for. Do not be embarrassed
to openly discuss other related topics such as respect, values & principles, sex
health, drugs and alcohol. This is to ensure that if your child’s partner violates their
conscience and boundaries, your child will be wise enough to not cross those
boundaries for anyone and dump him/her immediately.

Share your Stories with Them

Let your child open up to you with efforts to open up with them. Share with them
your love stories from past relationships and how you found ‘the one’ who is their
mother/father. Your child will understand that the person they are currently
interested in may or may not be the person they marry. This will also mentally
prepare them to face any heartbreak that is yet to come.
Children will be genuinely interested in their parent’s courtship, marriage and if
applicable, divorce. Having an imperfect relationship ‘resume’ does not disqualify
you from initiating this conversation. It is okay to let your child know because they
will learn to not repeat the mistake you made. That way, they will not be afraid to
ask you for advice when it comes to love.
When your Child Starts Dating Setting Guidelines
Dating and relationship is a subject of unending interest and curiosity for teens. It is
important to be clear with your child about your expectations. You’re their parents
after all and as much as you are open about dating, there should be some fine
guidelines they should follow. Let them understand that there should be mutual
respect between parents and children.

Teenage relationships can gather steam quickly, so you have to be aware of warning
signs too. If your child’s grades are affected and they are spending lesser time with
their friends, consider limiting how much time is being spent with that special
someone.

You could have expectations like:

 Keeping you informed about their whereabouts
 Curfews
 Sexual health and restrictions
 Making good choices
 Use of alcohol & drugs on dates
 Not forgetting to maintain friendships

Allow them to Feel Sad

Be a supportive best friend to your child when they’re facing a heartbreak. Don’t
reveal negative thoughts about their relationship, like “I told you so. I knew he was
not the right one for you.” You’re only rubbing salt to their wounds. Be kind with
your words and sometimes, listening is the best thing you can do. Remember, you’re
their pillar of strength and you will want to be there for them in every phase of their
life. Let them know that they can always count on by being generous with your time,
patience and hugs.
Growing up, my parents would either ask me to close my eyes or change to another channel
whenever there was a kissing scene on the television. What was the reason, the 8 years old me
had no idea - nobody had ever talked about it. Sex? That's totally out of the question. In fact, I
only had a 'formal introduction to sexual education' when I was fifteen and that was from my
science class. The infamous chapter four, they call it. And as much as we were excited about
learning these new things, most of what was covered was purely biological. We were not
taught about anything else outside of that.
 The Facts
Sex Education for Kids

Sadly enough, whenever the issue of sex education arises, it becomes a hot
debate, especially in Malaysia. The negative social connotations that ring
around this issue is so prominent, many think that advocating sex education
(especially in school) equals to encouraging the youth to engage in more
sexual acts and become more promiscuous.

Being in a conservative country, many of us adhere to the ‘abstinence-until-

marriage’ view which promotes the idea that sex before marriage is a social
problem because it is morally wrong. It resonates with the call of many major
religions. Nonetheless, withholding information about contraceptive and sex,
in general, does not solve the problem. Instead, it increases the risk of our
young teens of getting sexually transmitted diseases, being sexually taken
advantage of and having unplanned pregnancies.

According to the National Registration

Department (JPN), there were more
than 530,000 children that were
registered as out of wedlock, in between
the year 2005 to 2015. We are talking
about more than half a million
illegitimate children here. And this
statistic will surely be higher if
unregistered children and dumped
babies are taken into account as well.

This is really sad. Uninformed then

terrified, many young mothers ended up
dumping their new-borns at places of
unimaginable conditions while some
Others resorted to abortions, not knowing that there are other alternatives available
for their unplanned pregnancies. So many innocent children are deinstitutionalised,
while some even lost their precious lives, all because their young parents were not
provided with the knowledge nor did they know where they can get support from.
Sex Education for Kids
But who are we kidding? It isn’t that
simple. There will be so much changes
once puberty hits adolescents, both
physiological and psychological. This
can be a bit overwhelming for them
because schools only scraped the tip
of the iceberg. At this stage, it is only
natural that they are curious about
sex and sexuality. Precocious and
resourceful, if they can’t get the
information from you, they can always
refer to the media. Nevertheless,
merely depending on the internet,
magazines, and television can be
dangerous because there are many
misrepresentations of gender and sex
had been propagated by these same
sources. Therefore, an alternative is
that for us to create a comprehensive
education plan that can keep our
youth more informed about sex and
gender-related issues. Countries with
the lowest teen pregnancy like Italy,
Germany, and Switzerland are
adopting comprehensive sexual
education with the United Nation
recognising it as a basic human right.
Comprehensive sex education, in
essence, teaches youth not just about
the human body development, it also
addresses topics like gender role and
identity, sexual health, consent, and
abstinence, as well as relationships. It
also teaches teens about social issues,
what to do after a rape, the myths
about sex, how sexuality is being
represented in the media, where to
get support and etc., ultimately
creating a safe sphere where they can
ask questions about things related to
sex.
It is essential to understand that we
are not advocating the proliferation of
free sex in any way, but our children
need to be properly informed
regarding this matter. With that being
said, let’s create a safe space where
our children can be comfortable
talking about their concerns, ask
questions and learn about sex and
gender. I urge parents to start giving
sexual education at home even before
your child starts dating. As much as I
understand that it is not an easy thing
to do, better be safe than sorry.
Thank You for Reading!