A Little Private Education

1995
A modern day private school at night
Luke Stafford
27 years old, birthday September 15th, 1989

A. Character Autobiography

1. The playwright tells me that I run a private school out of my home and it is paid for by a
wealthy woman named Mrs. Poke. Mrs. Poke has hinted that she wants to be more than
business friends, she is very attracted to me and she wants to sleep with me. I do not want
that type of relationship with her and I am very unsure about how to handle the situation.
2. I say that I am a teacher and a maid. I can find cheaper friends on the street corner. My
day was a disaster. I was being pretty bad to the plumber. Im feeling very sarcastic. Im
not up for entertaining. I have a great educational theory. I have a bad feeling about my
sister dating a plumber. I feel much better now. I hope everything is okay in here. I want
it to be comfortable for her. But I want it to look like a school. I've always wanted to go
parachuting. I am so hungry. I didn't have anything to eat today. You know me. Always
playing around. It's the writer in me. I have so many manuscripts. I wonder what they
would like to see. I think I have a romance in here. I've written a little bit of everything.
Wow...A real publisher. This is what I've been dreaming of and... The school maybe I
could sacrifice. I feel so cheap. After dinner she'll want to come back here and... There
must be some way to tell her I'm not interested. But then... I'd lose the school. I'd lose my
chance at getting my book published and... I must be crazy. Why can't I just do it? Why
can't I just give in to her? She's attractive for her age. She has a lot of money. She knows
all the right people. I love hockey. She's all over me. I don't know what to do. I don't
deserve this. I thought maybe she actually liked me. And she didn't go with me after the
prom. She went with Jack and his gang. I wasn't invited. She dumped me for the football
team. I want her to find me unattractive. I don't want her to put me in an insane asylum.
3. You definitely sound like you've had a hard day. You seem a little touchy. Boy, you did
have a bad day. You're getting sarcastic again. Don't you go and be mean to the plumber
again. I might be interested and I don't want you to blow it for me. You're sick. When did
you get to be such a snob? I'm so sorry. He can be such a jerk sometimes. Ah, Lukie is all
tongue tied? You sweet on her? I see how she looks at you. She wants you bad. The only
thing she wants is a professional gigolo. Why else do you think she is funding your
school? Come on. You posted a web page with a few ideas and great picture of yourself. I
doubt she even read what you wrote. She just saw the picture and she was hooked. You
have a bad feeling about it? Since when did you develop an intuition? Oh, I see. You can
tease me but I can't tease you. You were a complete jerk when Paul was having a drink.
The big time. She's loaded. You could be the next Mr. Poke. All I'm getting at is you
better not disappoint the woman. Give her what she wants, if you want this school of
yours to work. Wear your blue silk shirt. She'll love you in that. You must be a wonderful
influence on him. So loving. So caring. So giving. Little things. Things people can't
always see. I want to see what's under that cool exterior. I want to know your secrets,
your desires... You're so tense tonight though. A drink would loosen you up. See. I knew
you were a smart man. A man I can trust to do everything that is expected of him. I'm
A Little Private Education
1995
A modern day private school at night
Luke Stafford
27 years old, birthday September 15th, 1989

starting to think you're trying to avoid me. Playing hard to get? I find you very attractive.
From the first moment I saw you I knew you were the one... The one who would hold me
with his strong arms. The one who would look into my eyes and tell me how much he
needs me. Yes, you do, my darling. You would be nothing without me. You are one
smart man. Please tell me you're not gay. I have never known a man to want to talk so
much in his life. Most guys shoot first and ask questions later. If even that. Are you sure
you're not gay? A writer? Hmm. You know what I'll do. I'll take something that you've
written and take to my publisher friend. Oh, you're looking so fine tonight. Too bad we
have reservations now. You can be my naughty student. Lucas? No one calls you Lucas.
You're stuck, bro. I don't know what to tell you. You've got to admire her though. I'm
having trouble feeling too sorry for you. Poor girl. You don't even remember her. She
went with you to the prom and did who knows what with you after because she wanted to
get a job with our parents for the summer at water park. Don't play the victim. I know
you used her. You dangled that over her so she'd go out with you. Somehow you just
became the victim again. So much for making you the bad guy. This is unusual. Usually
you're always telling me what to do. I think it's more fun to watch you suffer. You have
to promise you will never make fun of me again. You need to do something to turn her
off. You do something that makes you less attractive to her. Let's see. A change of
clothes. A change of attitude. Maybe if we put you in a dress. You're making this difficult
Luke. Man, you look good. Luke sure knows how to pick a chic. You two must have big
plans tonight. No. Lucas and I have a purely a professional relationship. I don't mix
business and pleasure.
4. I was the first born in my family. My mother really wanted a girl, but my father was
happy to get a boy. My dad owned the local water park and my mother has been a
journalist for KCRA, the local news station on NBC. My parents had been married for
three years before they had me; they used those three years to save up enough money and
plan out how they were going to afford me. My sister, Peg, was born 2 years after me,
and I used to like being the bigger brother and we used to be best friends, until we got
older and got on each others nerves.
5. My first year of life, I was sheltered and well taken care of. My parents were busy with
wrok during the day, so I stayed with my grandmother on my mothers side. I would crawl
around the house all day and play with the dog, Sparky. He was a german sheopard and
was very friendly. He always chewed up my toys though. Sometimes my father would go
on trips to check out water parks in other cities and see what he could do to improve his
own, so I was with my mom a lot more. When my dad would return from his trips, he
would bring me new toys and a snowglobe from each city that he visited. I still have the
collection in storage.
6. I attended a private Christian preschool when I was five years old. We sang about Jesus
and studied the bible, as well as learned how to count and how to write sentences. I also
remember learning prayers and having a lot of playtime in our indoor playground. My
A Little Private Education
1995
A modern day private school at night
Luke Stafford
27 years old, birthday September 15th, 1989

grandpa would pick me up after school and I would stay with my grandparents until one
of my parents got off of work to pick me up. Around this time, Peg was about three years
old, she was too young to be in preschool so she would stay with my grandmother all day
and when I got to my grandparents house, I would try to teach her how to count or write.
It never worked because she was too young to understand but it was fun trying to teach
her.
7. My preschool was also an elementary school. I attended the school until the sixth grade,
which was the highest grade the school taught. I was always the kid who loved the
lessons and I loved to learn about new things. I had a few friends in elementary, but after
sixth grade, they all moved to different intermediate schools. I went to a public
intermediate school, which was completely different from my elementary school. There
were so many kids and people started dating and I was so shocked. I hadn’t really had
any interest in girls until I was in high school, but I was so shocked. I was a quiet middle-
schooler, I spent a lot of my free time in the library or in my science teachers classroom,
which was also the chess club room. I was super focused on academics and I got bullied
for it. People would look at my paper for test answers, and people threatened to beat me
up if I didn’t do their homework for them. No one really took schooling seriously, but my
parents always stressed the importance of my education, so I made sure to do all my
homework and study for all of my tests whenever I had free time. I didn’t really have the
easiest time making friends either, until high school. High school was a huge change for
me, because there were students there who were four years older than me. In high school
I joined the chess club, where I met my two best friends, Justin and Jacob. We were the
three friends who never wanted to get involved in parties or drama or fights, we all
shared a passion for academics. We didn’t care for popularity because we knew half the
kids in our grade level who were popular then would be sleeping in tents on the side of
the road in the future. I remember one time in high school, I took this girl, Jamie, to the
prom and she ended up leaving me to go to an after party with the football team; that
pretty much sums up my life in high school. For all four years of high school, my two
friends and I bonded over studying and playing chess. Now days Justin works with the
city as a civil engineer, and Jacob manages his own Fedex. I don’t talk to them very often
anymore but without them I wouldn’t have gotten through high school.
8. I have always had a mild case of asthma since I was a kid, but I never had any asthma
attacks or anything. Now that I’m getting older, I’m getting more anxiety over my school.
It’s very stressful looking after kids, they’re like a pack of wolves looking for any way to
mess up my home. My family has a history of anxiety, so It was only a matter of time
before it got to me, I just feel like these kids I’m teaching have brought the anxiety on me
thirty years before I should be getting it. Never broke a bone in my body, never got into a
fight, never took chances.
Peg’s birth was a pretty big shocker, half of me was happy to have a baby sister and half
of me wanted all the attention to myself. I couldn’t be in the delivery room when my
A Little Private Education
1995
A modern day private school at night
Luke Stafford
27 years old, birthday September 15th, 1989

mother was having Peg, so I waited with my grandparents in the waiting room. When Peg
was born, I was amazed at how small and precious she was. I don’t really care much
anymore, she gets on my nerves a lot now, but back then she was so cute. All I wanted to
do was protect her. Then as time went on, she got more attention than me and I just got
irritated with her more often. My father would also take me to work with him sometimes.
I remember one time he shut down the whole water park to throw a birthday party for my
8th birthday. It was the best birthday I ever had, the sun was out and all my friends and
family came and we rode every ride dozens of times. There was a ride called the
Cliffhanger that was a straight 90 degree drop down, and I was too scared to ride it. Then,
my dad came and sat in the tube next to me and reassured me that he would be right by
my side the whole time. I felt safe, so I went down the slide and I couldn’t believe how
fast it was, and afterwards I looked up at the ride and thought “wow, I would’ve never
done that if it weren’t for dad.”
9. In my adolescent years, a huge event was getting my drivers license. I consider myself
book smart, but when it comes to physical activities or learning by doing, it never goes
well. I aced my permit test, but while practicing driving, lets just say mailboxes always
kept popping out of nowhere. My neighbors hated me because every time I practiced
driving with my dad, someone’s mailbox was going to get obliterated. When I felt
comfortable enough to take the drivers test, I went early on a Monday morning, which
ended up being the worst mistake of my life. On that fateful Monday during my drivers
test, I was approaching a red light, so naturally I wanted to hit the breaks. I was so
nervous that I accidentally put my foot on the gas pedal instead of the break pedal and
flew past a red light. The worst part of all was it all happened right in front of a police
station where cop cares were just coming out of the station. I got pulled over and fined
$300 for running a red light. That was a fail, but my second attempt was better and I got
my drivers license.
10. After high school, I went to the University of California at Berkley for a degree in
English Literature. In college I started experimenting with alcohol a little. I don’t really
like it so I don’t have a problem getting addicted. Even in college my main focus was my
education. Moving away from home was a big change, being on my own was a tough
challenge but I got used to it quickly. While I was a college student, I worked on campus
in the library. It was always quiet and peaceful and it gave me an opportunity to finish my
homework or study while getting paid. After getting my Bachelor’s degree, I started
writing small literature for a birthday cards and things like that. It wasn’t a steady job so I
started subbing for high schools around the Sacramento area.
11. I quickly realized I hated teaching high school kids. That’s when I switched to teaching
at an elementary school in Sacramento. I really loved teaching the kids in elementary
schools, they are so much more attentive and open to listening and open to the idea of
learning. Some time after I was teaching at the elementary school, I met a woman named
Mrs. Mable Poke, who came to the school to see if it was a good option for her nephew.
A Little Private Education
1995
A modern day private school at night
Luke Stafford
27 years old, birthday September 15th, 1989

We talked for a bit and I soon realized that she was a wealthy woman with a lot of
connections. She offered to fund a preschool for me to run if she could have me teach her
nephew. I agreed and so far it’s only been the first day and my place is a mess. I haven’t
been married or had anything close to a relationship since Jamie from high school. I
haven’t traveled but I would love to visit William Shakespeares grave in the United
Kingdom .
12. Before the play begins, I had just started my new preschool, funded by Mrs. Poke and run
out of my home. I have just had my first day teaching my new preschool class. It was a
disaster and the kids tied me up and plugged my toilet and destroyed my house. Because
of my plugged toilet, I call a plumber to come over and unclog it.Peg had just quit her job
and she came over my house to see how my first day of teaching went. The play starts off
with me waiting for the plumber to arrive and fix my toilet.
13. Prior to the scene opening, I have just been avoiding Mrs. Poke, who was trying to
seduce me and get me to relax and have sex with her. Physically I am tired and I am still
trying to clean up the mess that the students left me with earlier in the day.

B. Role Analysis

Physical Appearance

My character is a slim, taller guy who is well groomed and looks very professional
for his age. I am not very physically active, I don’t go to the gym and I don’t like
exercise in general. I use my work as an excuse not to exercise. I am out of shape but
I do wish I were in shape, I just haven’t got the time. I complete tasks devotedly,
anxiously, honestly, technically, and sharply. My character walks very straight up,
leading with his head. He has his head up high and makes eye contact with people
and holds it. He takes shorter strides and doesn’t walk with confidence. He has a fast
pace and always walks like he has somewhere to be. He doesn’t have a lot of bend in
the knees and he doesn’t stop on the ground, he has a quick, light step that allows him
to travel faster and with purpose. My character doesn’t play any physical sports
besides golf. He only golfs once or twice a year when he can find time to meet up
with his friends, Justin and Jacob, from high school. In the scene my character is
physically manipulating his front door, his couch, and a few toys that the kids from
class left on his floor and table. My character is a bit of a fast talker and he tends to
get straight to the point. He is a little more assertive and he thinks of himself before
others.
A Little Private Education
1995
A modern day private school at night
Luke Stafford
27 years old, birthday September 15th, 1989

Sensory Awareness

My character has a stronger sense of seeing and touching but a weaker sense of smell and
hearing. He doesn’t listen to others unless he really needs help with something, so he
doesn’t take the time to focus on what others have to say, he is quite oblivious to some
things that happen around him. The most sensitive part of his hand is his pointer finger,
which is the first finger he uses whenever her grabs an object or picks something up. My
characters favorite color is a light tone of grey, he reacts mostly to neutral colors because
he likes the simplicity and the modern aspect of neutral colors. Blue, red, yellow, and
other vibrant colors are too loud for him and even in art, he enjoys the neutral colors
more instead of the ones that just scream color. His favorite music is indie music. He
likes chill calming music with a good purpose instead of pop like tracks. After a long day
of work or when he has writers block, he turns on chill music to relax him and get him in
a meditative state to where he can focus more and conjure up new ideas. When it comes
to clothes, he keeps it clean and simple. Slacks and a good collard shirt are his go to
outfit. He doesn’t feel like making any bold choices in clothing either, so he wears
mainly black, white, and some variations of grey. He does have blue collard shirts and
some red checkered shirts that he got as gifts from Peg for Christmas, but he hasn’t even
taken the tags off of them because he doesn’t like trying new things. He also just wears
plain black oxfords and when he’s feeling like dressing up, he has a nice watch and a
black blazer in his closet. My character is not very aware of the things that are going
around him, when his life gets messy, he stresses out and doesn’t know what to do first in
order to fix his life.
Health

My character is generally healthy, considering he has a few common health problems. He

has always had a mild case of asthma, but he never needed an inhaler for it. My family
has a history of anxiety, so its only a matter of time before it comes to my character, he is
expecting it to develop in himself soon. Physically, he is not in great shape, he doesn’t
exercise nor has he ever fully committed to getting in good shape, his excuse is he never
has time for any commitment to fitness.
Sexuality

My character was always so focused on his education that he didn’t really have time for a
relationship with a girl. He has always been straight, but never ruled out the option of
venturing out and seeing if he is bisexual or gay. He didn’t start thinking of girls in an
attractive way until high school, but he has never been a smooth ladies man anyways. In
high school, his prom date ditched him to go to an after party with the football players.
Even in college, a few girls liked him, but he was always too scared to take a chance and
make the first move, so he would lose any opportunity he could get to have a relationship
A Little Private Education
1995
A modern day private school at night
Luke Stafford
27 years old, birthday September 15th, 1989

with a girl. He isn’t worried about finding the right girl, he believes she will come along
when the time is right.
Vocal Characteristics

My character has a full tone loud and full voice because he has subbed classes for high
schools and elementary schools. He has to have an assertive voice. At the same time, he
has a softer tone because of the preschoolers that he has to deal with all day. His voice
becomes very panicked and has a lot of tension in the scene because he has just gone
through a long day with the children and Mrs. Poke, so he is tired and stressed out, which
shows in his voice. My characters voice flows very smoothly, it isn’t monotone because
he is a teacher after all and teachers have to make things sound fascinating and exciting in
order to keep the students attention. He speaks with a soft, pleasant tone but if he is
stressed out, his tempo picks up and it sounds like he is spitting out words angrily.
Occupation

My character runs a small private school out of his house in Sacramento. The school is
funded by a wealthy business man’s wife, Mrs. Poke. During the scene, my character
begs Peg to help him find a way to get Mrs. Poke off of him. He pleads and makes a deal
with Peg so that she will help him be unattractive to Mrs. Poke. Most of my time goes
into preparing lessons for the preschoolers and cleaning up after their messes, as well as
teaching them for five hours a day. When I have free time, I enjoy writing literature such
as horror stories, novels, short poems, and even romances. On stage, the chief activity
I’m performing is cleaning up my house. My preschool students spent the day messing
up my entire living room and im still trying to clean up after them when im begging Peg
to help me get Mrs. Poke off of my back.
Preoccupations

My character is preoccupied with his work. He is thinking of a way to keep his school
running without giving into Mrs. Poke’s sexual demands. He knows that if he doesn’t
give her what she wants, she wont fund the school anymore. She is only funding his
school because she thought he was cute and she wanted to sleep with him. My character
even contemplates sleeping with her, saying that if he sleeps with her, shell publish his
book and he will get to keep the school. The only con to that situation is Mrs. Poke is an
older lady and he doesn’t feel comfortable knocking boots with someone way older with
him who has probably been with a lot of other guys. He doesn’t like the idea of
objectifying himself but at the same time he can’t come up with a plan, so he needs Peg
to help him get out of the situation. My character is also preoccupied with his house. He
realizes the potential damage the children can cause on his house and he still needs to
clean up a lot and get things back in order; he feels that if things around him are messy
and not in order, his life will end up that way too. Also, he is preoccupied with the idea of
A Little Private Education
1995
A modern day private school at night
Luke Stafford
27 years old, birthday September 15th, 1989

Peg dating the plumber. He doesn’t think that the plumber is a good match for his sister,
and though he doesn’t show concern, deep down he just wants his sister to be safe and
happy and treated well.
Personality

My character is very hard working, intellectual, innocent, witty, and eager. But also, hes
grumpy, obnoxious, defeated, nervous, and panicky. My character gets sweaty hands
when he’s nervous, so he often rubs his hands together. When he is frustrated, my
character tends to put his hands over his face or his fingers on his temple. When he is in
an argument, he puts his hands on his hips and taps either his hand or finger on his hip; its
his defensive mechanism when he is trying to prove a point to someone. My character
likes modern furniture, dark hardwood floors, grey painted walls, yogurt, simple fashion,
sedans, museums, hot dogs, newspapers, books, plants, trees, etc. My character hates
traffic, fighting, the beach, the mall, airplanes, loud music, sloppy joes, fast food, etc. My
character has a habit of joking around with Peg, they have that brother-sister relationship
where they are both competitive and both enjoy annoying each other. There is an
example in the text where Peg tries to make a deal saying if I promise not to tease her
again, she’ll help me; instead of saying “ok” I say “I’m thinking” just to mess with her
and then once she threatens to take the deal away, I apologize and agree to stop teasing
her. Another habit is my character is very sarcastic. An example is in the beginning of the
play when the plumber arrives to fix my toilet and he asks if I am Luke Stafford; instead
of saying “yes” I say something along the lines of “Luke? maybe I am Luke, maybe I’m
not Luke.”
Taste in Lifestyle

My character likes to dress in slacks and a buttoned up shirt. He likes to keep it clean and
simple and sharp, but he doesn’t like to take risks. Casually, he dresses in tailored jeans
and a buttoned up shirt, he likes to wear a lot of the same people. He is one of those guys
who feel comfortable in one look and try to dress the same way all the time. He wears
whites, blacks, and variations of grey. If he is feeling like taking a little bolder risk in
clothing, he’ll wear a light blue oxford shirt, but he doesn’t feel comfortable in regular t-
shirts and shorts. He furnishes his home with very neutral colored sofas that aren’t bulky.
He likes modern furniture so he has a circular glass table with four white chairs. He has a
kitchen with white cabinets, countertops, and has a black fridge that doesn’t have the ice
machine inside. He prefers to make his ice in the ice trays because he doesn’t like the
shape of the ice when it comes out of the ice machine. His drawers and dressers are all
dark wood and things are symmetrical in his house. He has two of the same living room
chairs facing each other and he has two of the same nightstands on either side of his bed;
each one with the same lamps and the same alarm clocks in the same position on both
sides. My character’s hairstyle is a clean classy comb-over. He is very particular about
A Little Private Education
1995
A modern day private school at night
Luke Stafford
27 years old, birthday September 15th, 1989

his hair because he doesn’t like it looking any other way than a comb-over. He has been
going to the same barber since he moved to Sacramento and that’s the only barber he
trusts with his hair. He doesn’t like people touching his hair and he feels uncomfortable
styling it any other way. My character is dressed in black slacks with a white buttoned up
shirt. He is also wearing black oxford shoes and has a watch on his left arm.
Relationships

My characters most important relationship in the play is with his sister, Peg. He has
always been annoying to Peg, and she has been annoying to him, but deep down they
love each other and they care about each other very much. Their relationship isn’t
An openly caring relationship, they argue and my character teases his sister a lot. In this
particular scene, my character really needs Peg to help him find a way out of his sticky
situation. He thinks she is the only one who can help get Mrs. Poke to stop pursuing him.
Because Peg sees that he is desperate, she realizes she has the upper hand and she lives in
the moment of him begging at her knees. She’s really enjoying my character pleading to
her for help, and she even considers watching him suffer instead of helping him, but
because deep down she really cares, she decides to help him.
Intelligence

My character is very intelligent. He has a bachelor’s degree in English literature from the
University of California at Berkley. He also keeps his mental intelligence strong because
he did substitute high school English classes so he regularly reviews the course material.
He also loves books, he wants to be a published author. He reads one book a day and it
helps with his comprehension , so he understands material in books quickly. My
character uses a common vocabulary. He doesn’t use big words around people because he
doesn’t think people would understand what he is saying, but he writes eloquently and
uses his full range of vocabulary words in his literature.
Emotions

My characters emotional life is revealed in the text. He often comes off as stressed out
and scared and uncomfortable and confused and sarcastic and apologetic. One example of
stressed out is in the beginning of the scene where he tells Peg that if he says no to Mrs.
Poke, he’ll lose the funding for the school, but he cant seem to let her have her way
either. He stresses out about not having a clear way out of his situation. An example of
scared is also in the beginning of the scene when he begs Peg to help him and not leave
him alone with Mrs. Poke. When he begs, he is visibly scared for his life and he really
needs Peg’s help more than anything in the world. An example of sarcastic is when Peg
offers him a deal that as long as he doesn’t tease her, she’ll help him. He responds by
saying “im thinking” but he didn’t actually mean it, he just had to get one last joke in
before agreeing to her terms. An example of relief is when Peg dresses him up to be ugly
A Little Private Education
1995
A modern day private school at night
Luke Stafford
27 years old, birthday September 15th, 1989

and unattractive. He comes out of the bathroom saying, “wow! I make Beetlejuice look
handsome” as a way to express how relieved he is that she turned him into an ugly guy.
He truly believes Peg’s work was just what he needed to make Mrs. Poke not want to
have sex with him anymore. This is also where his sarcasm and humor play with how
ugly he looks.
Religion/Ethics/Morality

My character doesn’t have a close relationship to God, he is a Christian but doesn’t go to

church very often. He hasn’t been to church since high school, but he prays for his family
and friends every now and then. My character usually kneels beside his bed and prays
before he goes to bed at night. My character does tell the truth, but he often dresses up the
truth with his own sarcasm. My character values his family, friends, house, his reading
books, his clothes, and his notebook that he writes his story ideas in. My character hates
colorful paintings, colorful shirts, carpet, fur coats/ bear rugs, loud music, dirty mirrors,
etc. My character thinks sex is something you should only do with someone you really
care about. He contemplates having sex with Mrs. Poke, but ultimately he knows he
wouldn’t sleep with her even if she was younger. He believes that life is a gift and death
is just another step in the journey of a soul. My character believes in love and he thinks
one day, the perfect girl will come along, so he isn’t too focused or worried about finding
her now. He thinks God has a masterplan for him and he trusts that everything will fall
into place when the time is right. My character thinks suicide is never a good way out. He
believes that no matter how hard life hits you, God wouldn’t give you anything you
couldn’t handle. My character hasn’t killed anyone but he would kill for someone to
publish one of his books.
Awareness

A. My character thinks he is somewhat good looking and he knows he is intelligent and

smart. He thinks of himself as superior to Peg because he is the older sibling, but when
he is in a time of need, his superiority goes out the window because he is desperate for
her help and he wants to play nicely so that she will help him. He thinks that he’s too
skinny, and he wishes he were in better shape but he just doesn’t have the time in his
busy schedule to work out.
B. He has prejudice thoughts that you cant just be a full time writer and have sustainable
lifestyle. This affects his career because he really wants to be a writer yet because he
thinks he has to do something else on the side, he isn’t focusing on writing and its
negatively affecting his chances of being published. He also thinks he has to have a
successful career in order for his dad to be proud of him, which is not true. He stresses
out on not getting published when he doesn’t need to, because he doesn’t realize that his
dad would be proud of him just for doing what he loved, successful or not.
C. Food, Music, Sex
A Little Private Education
1995
A modern day private school at night
Luke Stafford
27 years old, birthday September 15th, 1989

D. I wish to forget about Jamie dumping him after the high school prom. He also wishes to
forget his times as a substitute teacher for high school.
E. I feel guilty for teasing Peg all the time when I actually don’t want to be too mean to her.
I also feel guilty for not telling Mrs. Poke that I don’t want to have any sexual
relationships with her.
F. I am proud of my degree and I am proud of my sister for not staying at her shitty job. I
am also proud of my literature that I write, I believe I write very good material.
G. I used to eat dog food when I was little. I keep food in my pillowcase just in case I wake
up in the middle of the night and I get hungry, I don’t have to get out of bed and walk to
the kitchen. Ive tried cocaine.
H. I handle detail well. I am a detailed person, I like having things in specific orders and I
like to read books multiple times to make sure I read every detail in the book.
I. I fear my boss wanting to sleep with me, I fear losing my school, I fear losing my
literature, I fear my parents being unhealthy and dying, I fear my sister being abused by
the plumber, and I fear losing my job and being homeless because I have no backup plan.
J. I come early because I try to act as professional as possible. I like getting things done on
time and I like to plan things according to specific times.
K. I am primarily kind
L. I like my name, I was named after my great grandfather and I am honored to carry on his
name and his legacy.

C. Character Motivation
1. My character desires to get Peg to help him get Mrs. Poke away from him. He doesn’t
want to have any sexual relationships with her, but at the same time he doesn’t want to
lose the school. I really want to have peace and quiet and I want to be left alone to clean
up the mess the students left me.
a. In the beginning of the play, the plumber asks me if I am Peter Poke, and I
respond by saying, “I wish, that would be a dream come true because id be dead
and wouldn’t have to clean this mess up.”
b. When Peg and the plumber leave my house, I am relieved and say “ finally!”
c. When the plumber hints at finding romance, I say ,”sorry, not interested.”
d. When Peg comes over, she offers to help clean the mess up. I am quite happy that
she offered and my character goes from apologetic to nice.
e. The plumber keeps making up excuses to stay longer or not start fixing my toilet,
I am pissed because I need it fixed asap and I don’t want to pay too much for the
fix.
f. When Peg tells me to offer the plumber a drink, I don’t want to. I just want him
gone so I can clean up the mess.
A Little Private Education
1995
A modern day private school at night
Luke Stafford
27 years old, birthday September 15th, 1989

g. Instead of offering the plumber money, I offer him my sister so that I can get rid
of both of them and I wouldn’t have to pay for the fix.
h. When Mrs. Poke calls me to meet up, I suggest that tonight isn’t a good night for
me to meet up, she ignores me and sets it up anyways and I am flustered.
i. I am stressing out when I have to clean my home before Mrs. Poke arrives.
j. The whole time Mrs. Poke is over, I am trying to avoid her and not give into her
sexual demands. I would give anything for her to leave me alone.

2. When my character accomplishes his goal of getting Mrs. Poke away from him, it is
when she leaves with the plumber. Though I am happy she had to leave, I feel defeated
because I know because I didn’t sleep with her, she wont fund my school anymore and
she wont publish my books. I tell Peg, “I’ll see you in the unemployment line” and the
play ends there. He is glad to get Mrs. Poke off of his back, but more bummed that he lost
his job and chances of living his dreams.

D. Character Exploration
1. I personally resemble my character because I wouldn’t want to sleep with an older
woman either. I would handle situations the same way Luke does, by avoiding it
and never fully addressing it like he should. I also can get very sarcastic and I feel
like I understand Luke’s sarcasm because it is the same type of humor that I
possess. Lastly, Luke has big dreams for his books being published, and I also
have big dreams of finding success on stage and in film. Both are two very tough
things to accomplish, but we both never give up on our dreams.
2. I differ from Luke because I am not as sarcastic with strangers, such as he is with
the plumber. He doesn’t even know the guy and he gives him sarcastic answers. I
am nice and professional when it comes to dealing with strangers or people I have
just met for the first time. Also, I am not as mean to my sister as Luke is. It seems
like they have a sibling war going on but with me and my sister, I am more of a
role model figure in her life and we don’t fight as often as Luke and Peg do.
3. My friend Jacob most resembles Luke. He is very sarcastic and he has been in
situations where girls have tried to ask him to prom and he said no for no apparent
reason, but not to her face. The girl put notes in every one of his classes to ask
him to prom and he texted her later saying no, and he ended up going to prom by
himself, without a date. It just reminds me of Lukes situation because he didn’t
handle his situations smoothly either, and he can be very sarcastic as well.
4. Jimmy Fallon is like Luke, his mannerisms and the way he talks is very much
sarcastic. He describes awkward stories from his life and I could see him being
Luke. They both dress nicely and have sarcasm.
5. Luke most represents a skunk, not because of the smell or the ability to spray
people, but because skunks are solitary creatures. They like privacy and they often
A Little Private Education
1995
A modern day private school at night
Luke Stafford
27 years old, birthday September 15th, 1989

like being alone instead of in packs. They also tolerate company every once in a
while, like Luke does with Peg and the plumber, but he mostly likes being alone.