English Literature

WHEN I THINK ABOUT MYSELF

Maya Angelou
When I think about myself,
I almost laugh myself to death,
My life has been one great big joke,
A dance that’s walked
A song that’s spoke,
I laugh so hard I almost choke
When I think about myself.

Sixty years in these folks’ world

The child I works for calls me girl
I say “Yes ma’am” for working’s sake.
Too proud to bend
Too poor to break,
I laugh until my stomach ache,
When I think about myself.

My folks can make me split my side,

I laughed so hard I nearly died,
The tales they tell, sound just like lying,
They grow the fruit,
But eat the rind,
I laugh until I start to crying,
When I think about my folks.
“I laugh myself to death”
- two possible meanings: to laugh someone to death means something is very funny.
- Laugh is a positive word. Death - a negative word. See how two opposing words are used in one sentence.

“ My life has been one big great joke”

- a joke is something people laugh at.
- “life being a joke” - their lives didn’t live up to their/other people’s expectations
- views their whole life experience as one big mistake, so much it is even thought to come across as laughable at how
horrible it is.
- doesn’t think of herself greatly

“A dance that is walked”

- dance symbolising life
- a dance is supposed to be full of energy, fun, enticing, exciting and complicated
- walking a dance - walk - monotonous, plain
- shows how her life didn’t met the expectations of an ideal life.

“A song that is spoke”

- song symbolising life
- a song is supposed to be rhythmic, have different tones, contains emotions and beautiful to hear
- speaking a song - speak - again, nothing out of natural, boring and lack of emotion
- again represents how her life was lacking

“I laugh so hard I almost choke”

- laughing to the point of choking means something is very funny
- choking eventually leads to death.
- see that there are hints of death, again, a negative, together with a positive word laugh.

“Sixty years in these folks’ world”

- the person is sixty years old, which is old enough. She must have experienced a lot of things.
- “these folks’ world” - probably means the white people. Reference of “these folks”, it sounds very “unfriendly”, the
use of this shows that the person feels like an outsider/oppressed person, one with so little power in a world run by
them.

“The child I work for calls me girl”

- this reveals that the person must have been a black slave working for the white folks
- house slaves were to take orders from children just as they were taking orders from an adult.
- the line refers to the humiliation and disrespect the speaker feels when a child speaks to them like they are less than
or beneath.

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“I say “Yes ma’am” for working’s sake.”
- the speaker feels she has no choice but to oblige, as there will be more consequence if she chooses to disobey.

“Too proud to bend, too poor to break”

- the speaker is both proud and poor
- she is too prideful to bend (bow down/give up/submit) to the white people
- a person is less likely to be mentally broken if they have nothing to lose. She is very poor (she has nothing valuable
to her), so she will not be discouraged by the events which occur to her.

“I laugh until my stomach ache”

- the speaker tries to laugh at her own life. When one laughs at a bad event in their life, it is to appear strong/to make a
lesser deal out of it.
- her laugh could be a pure laugh or a hysterical, bitter laugh.

“My folks can make me split my side”

- “split my side” – to laugh a lot at something
- “my folks” – her parents

“I laughed so hard I nearly died”

- constant hints of death
- laughter again

“The tales they tell, sound just like lying”

- parents tell tales/stories about how they were free back in their native lands
- or try to hide their pain/hard days by telling tales
- the young reader noticed their lies/ believes the thought of freedom back in their days are lies due to the harsh
conditions they live in.

“They grow the fruit, but eat the rind,”

- the black slaves are made to work in the farms. Though the fruits are the results of their hard labour, they are not
allowed to taste the fruits.
- rind – the tough outer skin of a fruit (especially citrus fruits)
- through this, reader can sense the everyday life of a slave and how they are treated, as well as the unjustness the
speaker is feeling.

“I laugh until I start to crying,”

- notice the lack of correct grammar, indicating the lack of education for the black people
- crying indicates sadness and despair

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Overall Analysis

The speaker in the poem is a sixty year old black woman, back in the times where racial oppression was present
towards the African American people, who were used as slaves. The poem takes a sad regretful tone as the woman
looks back at her life and events in it. In the poem, it is seen the speaker “laughs” often, though not joyous laughter,
but more of a defense mechanism – usually hysterical and bitter laughter as she looks back at her life events. There is a
frequent hint of death and sadness used together with every “laugh”, indicating a depressing tone.

Repetition – “When I think about myself”

The poet shows that the speaker repeatedly looks back at her life events by using the repetition of this phrase. It also
brings the reader’s attention to the story.
The words “Laugh” and hints of death
The poet shows how the speaker tries to make a joke out of the difficulties she had faced. Every laughter laced with a
tone of despair indicates how her laugh is not real, but a sorrowful, sometimes sarcastic and full of hatred.

Symbolism – Life symbolized as “dance” and “song”

In the poem, the poet used the words dance and song to represent life. It is meant to visualize “life” as full of energy,
exciting, complicated, full of emotions and beautiful.

Contrast – Dance compared to Walk, Song compared to Spoke

To show the difference between the expectations of the ideal life and the reality of her life, the poet used contrast.
From here, the reader realizes how let down the speaker is by the way her life has not met her expectations and is
lacking.

Using specific words – “these folks’ world”

The term used to refer to the white people and their surroundings indicate the separation from them, showing the
person feels like an outsider or an oppressed person, specifically without power in a world run by white people.

In the poem, the speaker tells the everyday lives of an African black slave. The events are seen so, and the speaker
makes sure to explicitly express the hatred for the events. “The child I work for calls me girl, I say “Yes ma’am for
working’s sake”. This reveals that the house slaves were to take orders from children just as they were taking orders
from an adult. The line indicates humiliation and disrespect the speaker feels when a child speaks to them like they are
less than or beneath, but the speaker had no choice but to oblige as she will face more consequences if she chooses to
disobey. “They grow the fruit, but eat the rind”. This shows that the slaves working in the farms are not allowed to
taste the result of their own hard work. The reader expresses the unfairness and sadness she feels about the situation.

The poet expresses the speaker as a person who is proud of whom she is. This is indicated by the lines “Too proud to
bend Too poor to break,” Pride and poverty are both part of who the speaker is. She is too prideful to bend or submit
to the oppression of the white people and she has nothing valuable to her (this may mean physical object or a person)
so she will not be discouraged by the events which occur to her as she has nothing to lose.