PART

TWO

Dealing With
Women
 Women Are
16
Not Liars
”Keeping your word” is a masculine trait, in men or
women. A person with a feminine essence may not
keep her word, yet it is not exactly “lying.” In the
feminine reality, words and facts take a second
place to emotions and the shifting moods of
relationship. When she says, “I hate you,” or “I’ll
never move to Texas,” or “I don’t want to go to the
movies,” it is often more a reflection of a transient
feeling-wave than a well considered stance with
respect to events and experience. On the other hand,
the masculine means what it says. A man’s word
is his honor. The feminine says what it feels. A
woman’s word is her true expression in the moment.

W hen you listen to your woman, listen to her as you would the
ocean, or the wind in the leaves. The sounds you hear from her
are sounds of the motion of her feeling-energy. Of course, there are times
when she speaks in the masculine style of meaning exactly what she says,
but more often, and almost always in emotional moments, what she says
is the sound of her feelings. Her feminine speech is far more like poetry
than like a clearcut agenda for action. In an emotional moment, what she
says she is going to do is actually an expression of what she feels like doing

58 THE WAY OF THE SUPERIOR MAN

in the moment. Her feelings, and therefore what she is actually going to
do, could change in five minutes. It could change every five minutes.
Whenever you are surprised by your woman’s actions, and you say to
her, “But you said…,” you are forgetting that she has a feminine essence.
What your woman says is like a cloud passing in the sky: well-formed,
coherent, and unrecognizable moments later. The cloud is an expression
of the precise physics of water, wind, and air. Your woman’s words are
expressions of the physics of her feelings, your relationship, and the nu-
ances of the present situation, seen and unseen. A moment later, these
factors will change, and so will your woman’s expressions.
You might ask her, “Do you want to go to the movies?”
She might reply, “Not really.”
Then you hug her and spin her around and say, “Let’s go to the movies!”
And she says, “OK!”
She is not talking about her desire to go to the movies. She is talking
about the feeling of your relationship in the present moment. If after she
said she didn’t want to go to the movies, you said fine and sat down to
watch TV, you would be missing the point. She is not really saying she
doesn’t want to go to the movies, even though that is what she’s saying.
This is not lying. For a man, or for anyone speaking in the masculine
style, to say something that is not true is lying. But, for the feminine,
truth is a thin concept compared to the thickness of her flow of feel-
ings. The “truth” of the feminine is whatever she is really feeling, in this
present moment.
So, when she says that she wants to move to Pittsburgh with you, and
then, after you have sold the house, she says she doesn’t want to move
with you, don’t start yelling, “But you said…!” When she first told you she
wanted to move, she was feeling good about the relationship. When she
then told you she doesn’t want to move, she was feeling bad about the re-
lationship. Instead of arguing about what she said or didn’t say, establish
love in the intimacy first.

DEALING WITH WOMEN 59

 The basic rule is this: Don’t believe the literal content of what your
woman says unless love is flowing deeply and fully in the moment when
she says it. And even then, know that she is probably talking about her
current feelings, not necessarily about the subject of whatever she is talk-
ing about. Never base your plans on what a woman says she wants to do,
unless she is in the full flow of love when she says it. And then, expect her
to change her mind at any moment when her feelings change. Remember
that a woman’s feelings may be more sensitive to an unseen realm of na-
ture than are yours. Try to differentiate between your woman’s shifting
moods and her sensitive wisdom.
Women are not liars, although they often seem that way to men. This
is why a man must ultimately be responsible for making his own deci-
sions, based on the deepest truth he can fathom. Otherwise, if he bends
his course of truth to compromise for his woman’s current and changing
expressions, he will probably end up blaming her.
You should hear what your woman has to say and feel her depth care-
fully. Then, after you have fully considered her input, make your best
possible decision from your own deep core. This way, if your woman
subsequently changes her mind, you won’t resent her for compromising
your path. Rather, you can enjoy her subtle sensitivity and changing emo-
tional weather patterns. You can proceed with or modify your actions in
full gear, knowing you are always making the best choice available to you,
having taken her depth of wisdom—and her fluctuations of expression
and mood—wholly into account. ¬

60 THE WAY OF THE SUPERIOR MAN