Lighting the way

I’m an indecisive person. I love spending 90% of my time weighing two options and conducting an in-
depth cost-benefit analysis just to know I’m making the right choice. It would take me probably around
an hour or so just picking something worthwhile to watch in Netflix not knowing that the time I allotted
to watch a movie has already passed me by. An exercise of prudence and wisdom must always be
established in everything. Even in the simple things like deciding what to watch on Netflix, choosing what
I’m having for lunch at McDonalds and if I should wear denim or joggers today? These all takes tedious
amount of time for me to decide. Now imagine how much more when I started asking myself: “What do I
take in College?”

The question was around for as long as I can remember. It was mentioned plenty of times back when I
was as young as 3 or 4 years old. My parents always asking me: what do I want to be when I grow up?
Basically, asking a 3-year-old boy: “To which department of specialization should we invest our hard-
earned money to ensure your future security of a sustainable career path?”. The question keeps on
coming up not only from my parents but from other relatives, family friends, and even from my classmates
and teachers in school! So, I quickly concluded that I would just do what I love and study that for college:
playing videogames. 2 years ago, as a fresh graduate from a Science High School and an incoming Senior
High student I’ve come to my first crossroad. Which strand? Naturally, I chose Science Technology
Engineering and Mathematics to compliment my choice of studying computers and videogames in the
future. After going through the motions of everyday life in STEM in De La Salle University, and as the day
of applying for college draws near, I can’t help but feel that I’m not walking towards the right path.
Everyday as each term passes by, I get even far more behind in my classes to the point that I even failed
one. I love STEM but it doesn’t seem to be working out for me. People who I care about and trust also
have been noticing that I’m not at my A-game and started to see the trend that I’m not excelling at my
STEM specialized subjects and started asking me what’s going on. I honestly didn’t know but somehow
there’s this far off thought that the quick “safe” decision I made to brush off the haunting question that
haunted my childhood was a wrong choice. I denied it and still pushed through, applying to each college
I could possibly test in with Computer Science as my first choice.

There has always been a reliance to myself and how I see things to come up and decide how to live and
build my life. With how things have been working out so far, its starting to crumble and I’m not that
confident in how I analyze and decide anymore. There are so many factors to take into consideration; who
can number even them? People around me always tell me to just be true to myself and follow my heart
but even my heart doesn’t know where to go and even my brain can’t piece together how to go there.
I’m stuck.

Its in times like these in any good story where a sudden paradigm shift happens that the protagonist finds
his inner strength to overcome his enemies and fight his way into victory; the EPIC COMEBACK. Most of
us expect us, the one supposedly leading our lives, to be the hero of the story. That’s just not the case for
me.

Though out my walk in the past 2 years of being here in De La Salle University, I have found it a truth that
a man cannot come to the place where he ought to be… alone. Throughout my struggles in finding the
path that I needed to take, there were always those people I could go to ask help for and trust because
instead of giving some fleeting advice and leaving me to handle my situation by myself, these people
walked the hard road with me. They redirected me to the One who holds my life in the palm of His hand.
They told me that: “The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9)
These people were the little lights shedding brightness upon my dark pathway. Little did I know they were
all pointing to the same sun who gave them these small lights. I started reading the bible more frequently
and started seeking Him earnestly, holding on to the promise: “Keep on seeking, and you will
find…”(Matthew 7:7) and I wouldn’t say that I found Him. He found me. Its almost like the story of the
Shepard and His lost sheep (Like 15:4-7). Jesus said that the good Shepard would leave the 99 for the 1
every time and I can tell you with all boldness that I was that one lost sheep. Without direction, without
guidance, without purpose. Jesus met me where I was. I realized how much He cared for me and longed
to be with me even to the point of Him dying on the cross for me. I surrendered my life to the Shepard
who sought me out and I was never the same since. As I grew into my relationship with Him, learning
everyday that I can not trust in myself but fully surrender to what He has instore for me because I know
he gave the same promise to Jeremiah : “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to
prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (29:11) as I prayed to every night
to seek guidance and earnestly ask for His will to be done in my life. Indeed, He has been faithful and did
wonderous things in my life.

I had the opportunity to meet people. Get into business opportunities that I never would imagine and
experience what it’s like to do projects and handle jobs. Left and right people around me have also been
very insightful about my life and effectivity in this field and I enjoyed every moment of it. I saw God move
in my life. Even though I wandered off, He still strategically placed people in my life to redirect me home
and back to my purpose. I can relate to St. John Baptist De La Salle in how there were tough times for him
in his walk like the loss of his parents or other brothers who left him, but nonetheless both our lives stand
as a testimony of God’s goodness. As it is written: “And we know that all things work together for good to
them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)
Now I’m here studying BS Marketing Management in De La Salle University Manila’s College of Business
having the time of my life! I’m finally walking in purpose and I’m walking with the one who authored and
perfected it!