"Virtues are not to just make us admirable but

also it helps to increase happiness in the

society and of ourselves. And vice is nothing
but absence of Gyan (Knowledge) and it
decreases the happiness in the society and also
of us."

Hope one day every one would be able to

understand it, and on that day our wait to explore
heaven will end......
-: Amar

1
Do you really want a happy and satisfied life? Yes
of course. But have you every thought for it? I think
never.

Let’s try to think what exactly we want with our

life, what we do over our life. Answer is simple,
Life is like a journey and we just spend our time or
can say we just pass the time over life. And what
we try is to make this Time Pass pleasant.

Not only we but other Species on the earth also just

passes time over their life. As we human beings are
much wiser among them so we try to make this
Time Pass pleasant and exciting.

2
 PREFACE
First of all please excuse me if you won’t like any
thing in the book or the way it is written. I do not
have any writing experience. So I just expressed
what I think, what I have realized about life and
have tried to make you realize, May be your views
are much different than me but I just want you to
think on it and follow the things what you think is
right, and encourage your surroundings to do so.
It will be beneficial to our society in long run. And
it will also increase the convenience and happiness
of our social life.

Culture is some thing which can’t be studied; it can

be understood by thinking and realizing it by our
self. So I would request you to think and realize

3
yourself on most of the things written in the book
for better understanding of culture.

I have written this book in different

perspective, in perspective of social life. I tried to
let you know what is right what is wrong, what
exactly culture is, how it is benefiting us. So may
not have covered all the things of culture and
civilization. And also have defined many words in
perspective of social and cultural life, not in actual
sense.

I do not know whether peoples are going to follow

the things…….

Deviating from culture is going badly affect social

life of human beings in long run. If we can’t give
4
something good to our coming generation then at
least we can give them a good culture. If we deviate
from our culture then our offspring’s are going to
suffer. And will reach to uncivilized uncultured
society like animals, exactly from where human
being had started.

5
 CONTENTS

Author Message. 1
Introduction. 2
Preface 3
Contents 6
1. Exploration of "Right and Wrong”. 8
2. Basics of Culture. 10
3. Evolution of culture. 18
4. Various possible systems of society. 24
5. Religion and Happiness. 27
6. Make yourself clear on….... 32
a) Society 34
b) Politics 37
c) Society and Politics 41
d) Family 43
e) Education 46
f) Freedom 49
6
 g) Conservativeness 54
h) Development 57
i) Modernity 59
j) Money & Professional life 60
k) Virtue and Vice 61
l) Fashion 62
7. Concept of Conflict Margin. 64
8. Finally let's search happiness. 71
a) Reason for unhappy Environment 72
b) Creating a Happy Environment 73

7
1. Exploration of “Right and Wrong”

To live a happy life we first should know what is

right. Once I was thinking on it, but I was not able
to figure it out. I was thinking same thing some
time right and some time wrong. It took me few
days; finally Einstein’s relativity principle helped
me to understand this. Nothing in this world is
absolute everything is relative, so right and wrong
is too.

That’s why every religion, every community, in

every region this set of right and wrong things
differs. Now let’s talk in general. Goal for any
individual is to make his/her Time pass over his/her
life pleasant. So different community and religions
tried to make a system where this goal can be
8
achieved. What we some time knows as culture.
You are going to read about culture in more detail
in next chapter.

So any thing which helps us in achieving this goal

is right and which is pushing back to us in achieve
this goal is wrong.

So the next time if you are judging any step as right

or wrong; just think whether result of that step is
good or bad for you, for society and for others in
long run.

In next chapter you will get more clear idea on this.

9
 2. Basics of Culture

Start thinking from basics, why we human beings

are different form other species on earth. Most
common answer is we have a good brain. Yes it is
true too. But one more thing we have is …?

If I ask you a simple question that what culture

exactly is? Then what would be your answer. If you
are a child won’t know much about it but still
thinking it some thing good and would be aiming to
be a good cultured. But if you are a youngster you
would be thinking it as boundation on you and
teasing on it. If you are in range of 30 to 50 you
have started knowing culture and its benefits……

10
And if you are an old person most probably you
would have a clear idea on it and definitely thinking
it a necessary thing for the human beings and must
be getting frustrated seeing youngsters deviating
from culture.

If our younger generation is deviating from it, it’s

not their fault as not knowing the benefits of it.

Most of us know what it is but don’t know why it is

and even never tried to think of why it is. When we
had taught first time about culture then also most of
us taught about what it is but not why it is. This is
the reason why most of us are deviating from it and
the frustration of old persons.

11
Some time people say nothing is wrong in war and
love. But what I believe is “nothing is wrong in this
world” even If someone kill the other person and
ate up, then also it is not wrong as survival is the
only truth of the Nature. Then what is wrong, what
is right? Answer is simple, we are not animals we
are civilised people. We live in groups, so for our
convenience and mutual help we have setup some
rules and guidelines. So if we break the rules then
we are doing wrong relative to that group if
following then we are right.

Take example of road. There is a rule of going from

left now think of our freedom, yes it’s being
decreased now, we can use only half of the road.
Then why that rule is there?

12
It’s very simple, you would say to reduce accidents
and trip time. Means this rule is beneficial for us
and drastically increased our convenience it might
have decreased our freedom to some extent.
Think if there is no rule of going from one side then
what would be the seen.

Now think a boy coming from jungle unaware of

the rules regulation. If some one will ask him to
follow the rule of going from one side he might not
follow the rule because it’s decreasing his freedom
and also, he is unaware of the benefits. Similar case
is there with our youngsters. They do not know the
benefits of our traditions and on the other hand their
freedom is being decreased too. This is the reason
why our youngsters are deviating from Culture.
Where as child thinks to be a good cultured because
13
they see others being appreciated for being good
cultured but when they grow up and their freedom
decreases due to it, they deviate from it.

Take other example of a room where two or more

peoples are leaving together. They are using some
shared things for example Comb, Books, Screw
driver and similarly many others. They have fixed
the place for every thing they are using on share
basic in the room. Here one common rule they are
following is that any thing they pick up for use,
they place them at the same place after use. But this
rule has decreased there freedom to a great extent.
Then what benefits they are getting, how it is
increasing their convenience, think your self ……
Now if they are asked to place the things at there
place with same orientation as previous then they
14
would got frustrated as by this they wont be getting
any benefits, So balance need to be there between
our freedom and the rules.

We see rules everywhere. When we play any game

we follow some rules, when we walk on road we
follow some rules, when we issue a book from
library we follow some rules, when we go for
movie ticket we follow the rule of being in queue.
So rules are present every where but not to restrict
us or decrease our freedom but to provide
convenience to every one. Only thing need to be
taken care that, balance should be present between
rules and our freedom. Other wise instead of
providing convenience it would create problems to
us.

15
In short we can say that the rules we follow in
our social life is our culture and the aim of our
culture is to provide happy social life. Culture
is set of some rules or guidelines to increase
our convenience and will be beneficial to us,
some in short run and others in long run.

Some times we can say it as mutual guidelines

followed by a group of people to increase their
convenience and social happiness.

Now consider a situation some one less capable

person (a child or an old person) from your family
is going out alone. All the time you will be having
tension until he or she returns back. Now think
when you go by bus and gets up from a general seat

16
for an old person or a lady. And even on road you
help others. If you see everyone doing this then you
won’t be having tension for your family member as
there are many people to take care of them even
they are outside.

Here we can see that how culture helps everyone

and makes them tension free. So culture is not just
increasing our convenience but helped us in other
way also.

17
 3. Evolution of culture

In past human beings were living likes other

animals when there brain was not developed much.
With the time human intelligence was increased
and they started thinking. Now they were capable to
know what is good and what is bad for them at least
in short run. They started living in groups. So they
made some rules some guidelines for them for their
convenience and every one in the group were
following these rules.

But still one major problem was there who is going

to take care of children and old persons as they are
not able to hard work for their survival, their
existence. And during pregnancy and after birth of
child who is going to take care of female and there
18
child as no one was knowing whose child was it, as
that time free sex was present similar to animals. So
to encounter these types of problems and to provide
equal sexual opportunity to every one, they made
the rule of partners. So now only partners could
have sex with each other. What exactly we see now
in the form of marriage and it is present in almost
every religion and every region of the world.

This solved their lots of problems now every

relation was clear (who is whose father or who is
whose grand son similarly many other relations).
Now it becomes responsibility of nearest relative to
take care of a person in need. So during pregnancy,
male partner would arrange food for her partner and
similarly this couple would arrange food for their
children till they become capable. So when this
19
couple becomes old there children would arrange
food for them and take care of them. So this way a
big group was being divided in subgroups in which
close relatives were living together what we call
family. Concept of family helped very much to less
capable person to survive.

Now days also we see a capable couple working out

side and arranging the things to survive for their
parent and for their children. But situation is little
bit changing at present. Few couples after being
stable in career do not take responsibility of their
parents. In many countries we see this problem
growing very fast.

For survival every one should equally work. But in

a family some were more capable some were less
20
and some were even not capable. So it becomes
responsibility or can say rule of culture for capable
persons in the family to arrange food and take care
of others, as already discussed in previous
paragraph. Capable persons might argue for it but
every one would pass from different stage of life so
for convenience or long term benefits it became
culture’s part.

Now just think of a couple or sex partners, Female

is a bit weaker than male and also has some
medical problems and in pregnancy time they can’t
do much. So male took the responsibility of all
outside works (As that time all outside works were
much harder than inside works) and female took the
responsibility of all inside work. And it becomes
the culture’s part.
21
With the time many other rules came in culture;
rules for marriage rules for educations rules for
many other tunings. And also many other things
become the part of our culture for example music,
type of recreation, Clothes worshiping god etc.

Later on civilization came in picture when we

started thinking for very big group living together
and designed guidelines for them.

Parallelly religion also came in picture, which acted

as supplementary.

To be sure that the culture’s guidelines are being

followed by the people on administrative body
needed. That’s why the concept of ruling system
came in realty.
22
There can be different type of ruling system. In past
Kingdom system was there but it had few problems
so it got replaced by democracy at most of the
places.

But current ruling system is also not perfect one.

Otherwise we would be enjoying a very happy and
satisfied society.

We see different guidelines in different places as

law of country. But that is not optimum one if
considering convenience and happiness of
individual.

23
4. Various possible systems of society

There could be many ways (system) to live the life;

for example individual, in a large group or in a
family structure. In which most optimized and
stable solution on the basis of social happiness,
satisfaction and to keep human lives running on the
earth, is family system, but degree of freedom for
any individual is least in this system. On the other
hand degree of freedom is maximum in concept of
individuality but is worst in reference of social
happiness and satisfaction. Today most of people
are migrating to individuality without knowing its
effect on them or on to society, only they are seeing
high degree of freedom, freedom to live in own
way. Most of the animals live individually.

24
Let’s consider the basic needs of an individual for
survival, its food, shelter, care, love, sex, loyalty,
freedom recreation and many more things.

In family concept an individual gets these things in

a balance way, where as in concept of individuality
an individual gets few of the need in very high
amount for some duration and rest in very less
amount.

Present family concept is also not the perfect one

that’s why now peoples are moving out from it. In
this also an individual is not able to full fill all his
need.

25
That’s why we need to think a new system or a
structure with proper guidelines and rules so that
any individual will be able to full fill all his need.

26
 5. Religion and Happiness

I do not want to get in detail discussion of God

because it may hurt your religious sentiments. But I
see different story for God in different religion
which contradict each other. Still I believe there is
something but not exactly God, which we are not
able to sense, but affect us. We have only five
senses so can’t observe something outside from it.
But science helped much for observing those things
like radiation, some electromagnetic waves we
can’t directly sense them, where as with the help of
science we can observe it. So there may be
something present which we are not able to sense,
even science is also not capable at present, and
affecting our lives strongly.

27
Even different religion has different story on God
but bottom line in every religion is same, and is to
provide happy social life to its followers in long
run. So every religion has its own culture, traditions
and guidelines. And religion followers follow them
to have happy social life. In some religion these
guidelines are followed very strictly where as in
some religion it’s very liberal. Many people follow
the rules by faith and few in fear of God. But now
days it seems that peoples have forgot the basics
behind religion, even some time religious leaders
are also not able to understand simple message of
religion “To provide happy life not only to its
followers but to all”. And also it needed for smooth
and continuous running of human lives on earth.
Now days few religious representative instead of
focusing on cultural balance (which is primarily
28
needed for happy social life) focusing on religious
conversion, religious war and also in race of
proving there religion as best. Different Religions
are not there to discriminate or divide the peoples,
its just different ways to achieve a common or
single goal of having happy social life. Religion is
one level above to boundaries of our countries;
boundaries of our thoughts, its area of research
where study and research is need to be done to
improve human social life and happiness. Instead
doing research as above, many religious
representatives are working how to spread their
religion and how to prove it best. Yes, it’s good too
but not by forgetting basic one.

I do not believe in God still I try to follow the most

of the rules of my religion because those rules or
29
guidelines are not said by a single person but are
result of research done in a very long period by
many indigenous keeping social happiness in their
mind. I also want people to be religious because it
helps them to lead a happy and satisfied life. Also it
helps in maintaining a good culture so helping to
create a happy society.

Sometime people avoid doing wrong things not

because they think it’s wrong instead they think
God is taking account of every thing what they are
doing and will be punished for it in future or after
death.

All the religions have some set of guideline for

responsibility, duties and limits for every individual

30
and for every relation, which very much helps
individuals for leading a happy social life.
But now many things have changed, individual are
not able to get proper guideline to lead a happy life
or these guidelines are outdated and not fitting in
present scenario. So a new set of guidelines need to
be formed keeping individuals happiness in mind.
So a proper research need to be done on it and not
only by few person but every one should involve in
to it to form a new system new culture where goal
of having pleasant pass time over life will be
optimum for every individuals.

31
 6. Make yourself clear on….

For creating a happy environment, first we should

have better understanding on the followings. Not
only these but many more things but because of
some constraint we are explaining only these.

a) Society
b) Politics
c) Society and Politics
d) Family
e) Education
f) Freedom
g) Conservativeness
h) Development
i) Modernity
j) Money & Professional life
32
k) Virtue and Vice
l) Fashion

33
Society:
But when we talk about society, many of us think
why be bothered of it and suggest doing the things
what you want even if it affects society. But before
this we need to understand what society is? What’s
the basic behind it? How we are related to it, how
our activities going to affect it, and at last how
society is going to affect us?

Society is simply collection of individuals; it is just

reflection of us in larger scale. If we say any thing
is going to harm society means somehow it’s going
to harm every individual.

Let’s see it in other way, we are not capable enough

to generate or full fill our all the need, all needs
starting from our birth to death. So we depend on
34
others to full fill the needs. (Here meaning of need
is not only physical need but all needs like food,
care, love, recreation and many other things.) In
childhood our parents and family full fill many of
the needs. But when we grow we depends on others
(our family and other than our family) for
fulfilment our need. This way dependency forms
between individuals and hence it forms society.

In some areas few family are there whose needs are

lesser and they itself are capable to full fill all their
needs. But in most cases an individual is proficient
in generating one service and depends on society
for other service or needs he or she going to
consume. So this means we are much dependent on
society. You already have seen few things on
society in the chapter “Evolution of culture”.
35
I am less social (In making Social contacts) but still
do not indulge in any activity which is not good for
society as knowing in long run it will itself harm
me some how.

36
Politics:
Politics is the area in which we deal, we study and
we form a system to take care of society, means an
administrative system in which all the needs of an
individual are taken care, where the primary goal
(pleasant and convenient time pass over life) of an
individual is taken care.

We can say politics is one of the two major

pillars of society, other one is culture. Culture is
the way to achieve the primary goal of an
individuals and politics is the administrative
control over that.

So if both these pillars will be strong enough then

that society will be very happy and satisfied

37
society. Or we can say we will be able to feel
heaven itself on earth in that society.
Since evolution of culture we can see different type
of political system. But because of selfishness of
few people and lack of wisdom it has not reached to
its optimum level.

If politics will be driven with good thinking, any of

the political system will do good for the society.
But it is not the case; because of the lack of
knowledge most of the people do not see long run
benefit. And if these people will be in politics, they
can’t be able to achieve the aim of politics. In
present scenario in most of the places democracy is
present. But do you really think it’s a worthy
political system? Are peoples well educated to
select candidates fairly? I do not think so, otherwise
38
we would have achieved happy and satisfied
society, instead I see society is going toward
unhappiness and dissatisfaction. Democracy is
good enough for a very small location where every
one know the all the participating candidates
personally and every person is well educated so can
be able to judge candidates fairly. But it is tragedy
that more than 90% people select the candidates
just by considering their short term benefits. They
vote based on personal relation, they vote based on
cast and they vote based on religion. So they do not
do justice with the candidates. But later on these
people hope to get justice to them from the
government; I do not know how it’s possible. So
democracy is not the optimum solution, political
system should be such that selected candidate
would be capable enough and willing to take the
39
society in the direction of happy and satisfied
society. At present it is not in our hand to change
the political system. But one thing is in our hand,
which is right to vote. So next time when we go for
vote or for any selection be fare with the
candidates, do the justice with the candidates and
select one of them fairly (at least to get justice in
the future). May be your selected candidate could
change the political system.

40
Society and Politics:
Society is the simply collection of individuals. It is
spread over smallest unit family to over world. First
individuals are grouped in the family, then a
village, city, state then country and finally to world.
And this society has formed a system to take care
of happiness and development of each individual.
That system we know as Government. And this
society has given the power or right to the
government to make laws to take steps which are
good for society. And the study of these things is
called political science.

In past there were Mukhiyas in villages to take care

of politics and then on large scale Jamidaar then
Kings were there to care of politics. These are the
people or system appointed by Society to work in
41
favour of society. But with the time this people had
started thinking them as Master of society.

Today also in most of the democracy people think

government as superior to all, but it’s not the case.
Government is just a care taker of society and
society is the superior to all.

42
Family:
There could be many ways (system) to live the life;
for example individual, in a large group or in a
family structure. In which most optimized and
stable solution on the basis of social happiness,
satisfaction and to keep human lives running on the
earth, is family system, but degree of freedom for
any individual is least in this system. On the other
hand degree of freedom is maximum in concept of
individuality but is worst in reference of social
happiness and satisfaction. Today most of people
are migrating to individuality without knowing its
effect on them or on to society, only they are seeing
high degree of freedom, freedom to live in own
way. Most of the animals live individually. As their
only need is food, some time sex (not exactly, in
animals, sex is the mean of reproduction not the
43
mean of recreation) so it’s not problem for them to
live individual. Dependency is very less in animals.
In few species we see couples living together and in
few species animals live in small group. But in case
of humans dependency on each other is very much
as for human beings need is not only food but many
other things too.

We could not be able to generate or full fill all our

needs by our self. For materialistic need different
person create different type of materialistic needs
and gets distributed among all by the means of
society. Then what is the need of family? Again if
we remain individual it will be very difficult to full
fill our all need, so we need few people to full fill
all the needs by mutual help that is our family. As
only close relative can help each other without
44
selfishness that’s why in most of case we see very
close relatives in the family. Family also takes care
of less or even incapable person of family to full fill
all his needs to survive. If we see perspective of
politics, family is smallest institution of politics.
You may also refer to chapter “Evolution of
culture” to know how family concept came in
society. Family can be of different type if seen in
different perspectives.

45
Education:
First of all we need to understand what is education
and its need. To achieve the goal of an individual to
have a pleasant time pass over life and also for
overall development of human beings we need to
know few things, we need to know what is right
what is wrong for us in long run and we need to
learn few things. This is what education is.

Primary aim of Education can be divided in

following four parts:
1. Mental development of individuals (At least
every individual would be mentally able to
think good and bad for themselves)
2. Cultural development of individuals (so that
every one knows what is right what is wrong
for themselves in long run).
46
 3. Knowledge level development. (so that one
could e able to explore the world)
4. Professional development (So that an
individual would be able to earn the buying
power and so will be able to exchange the
services.)
Apart from these there could be many more
responsibility of education.

Education comes in basic need or can say right of a

person to particular schooling standard.

In present scenario we have forgot the second and

main responsibility of it, and mainly focusing on
Professional development of an individual.

47
But for a happy and satisfied society in log run we
should not ignore any of the main responsibility of
education. So present education system must
include social guidance, political responsibility, and
few other things which are needed for a good
society

Maani mane maan ko, gyani maane gyan ko |

Gyan mile to maan mile, Maan mile to tarse gyan ko |

48
Freedom:
In short Freedom is the condition of being free; the
power to act, speak or think without externally
imposed restraints.

In different countries right of freedom is given to

different extent depending upon social, political and
economical condition of country, and also depends
on few other things like religious believes.

Most of the time we think it’s meaning as to do any

thing or to live without any rules. But that is not the
case, our freedom ends where our activities is
harmful to others, to society or itself to us. Again
it’s not mean that its restriction on us. Actually
some restriction is needed on us for our benefits.

49
Most of us care the things which directly harming
to others or to our self, but the activities which is
harmful to society we do not care as we do not see
any bad effects directly. As we are the part of
society so anything harming to society will some
how harm us, most of the time we could not see it
directly. Let’s take an example, pre marital sex, in
most of country pre marital sex is legal. If we think
in perspective of freedom it is okay, it is not
harming to any one directly at present. Now think it
in perspective of a family based society, in long
run, it encourages the social corruption, it disturbs
marital life so decreasing the social happiness some
time pre marital relation may hurt to your spouse’s
sentiments (If he/she did not have any pre marital
relations) which you had never thought at the time
of making pre marital relations. So pre marital sex
50
or relations is having lots of bad effects on a family
based society and in our family life, which we do
not understand at the time of entering in the
relation. It was just an example to understand
our freedom in actual sense.

So what exactly above example is suggesting us,

that we are not mature, wise or experience enough
to live freely, we need guidance for right and
wrong. That exactly religion is doing, it’s
providing proper guidance.

And this is the reason why children and females are

having more restriction in society. Lets take
freedom of a child, why we do not give so much
freedom to them, freedom to not to study (if they do
not like studies), freedom of taking drugs, freedom
51
to many other things which are not bad for adults.
You can your self realize it; can realize the effect of
it in long run.

So freedom is not something which we should be

given as much as we want, but should be based on
our wisdom, maturity and experience level.

Even we see it in our government law; children are

not given as much freedom as adult, but quantized
only in two levels, freedom for adult and freedom
for children. Quantization on multiple levels is
done by our family and society. As we grow up our
freedom also gradually increases by our family,
actually family act as smallest political institution
and have responsibility to take care of its members.

52
Let’s take other example, an adult girl of some ones
family want to involve in prostitution, as legal in
many countries, but will her family allow her? But
why not, it’s her freedom if more than 18 year old.
Actually mature person in her family knows that in
long run it will some how harmful to her, to her
family and to society that’s why restricting her.

Hell is the only place where you get complete

freedom (No law and order) and are free to do
anything which you can do but it’s your
responsibility to achieve your freedom and no one
going to help you.

53
Conservativeness:
Some time few people used to say my thinking as
conservative thinking. But the things I do or
suggest do not have any harmful effect on society
or on anyone, and also I do not stop any one doing
the things which are not harming to society (may be
someone would be thinking I am lying, but that was
the result of love and jealous not of
conservativeness).

Then where is the problem why I am conservative.

I searched the meaning of conservative and got to
know it as “a person who is reluctant to accept
changes and new ideas”.

What do you think is it correct to accept the new

ideas or changes without knowing it’s affect on
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society or on us? Yes I am reluctant to few new
changes which are harmful to society, not
necessarily at present may be harmful in long run.
So I think being conservative is not a bad thing if
we are having proper justification. Even it’s good
because you are thinking of society that’s why
reluctant to few new changes or ideas.

Then what is wrong? If we are reluctant to new

ideas even it’s having good effect on society or at
least no harmful effect, then we are wrong, and this
type of conservativeness is bad thing. And these
things we see in mostly rural areas or less educated
family, but that is not the fault of them. As they are
too innocent, do not have much intelligence and
knowledge level to judge the new change’s so they
better keep there faith on existing one. And for
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there social rules they depend on Religion and
firmly follow it, sometime few wrong traditions
keep going on because of faith and lack of
understanding, mostly in rural areas some time
even in cities.

Meaning of conservative in public (Mostly in

youth) differs a bit from its dictionary meaning.
Most of them think someone conservative if not
being aligned with the modern life style.

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Development:
I think we have forgotten the meaning of it. We
think it as advancement of infrastructures and
facilities. But if we see in respect of individuals
happiness and satisfaction do we really advancing?
I think no, instead of going forward we are moving
back. Then what is the true meaning of
development?

As we know any individual just passes the time

over his life. And aim of an individual is to make
this time pass pleasant over his/her life. Keeping
this Goal in mind we need to focus in following
areas Culture, Education, Politics, infrastructure,
Different facilities provided and many more. So
development should be needed in all directions, we
should advance in all above. But at present we are
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just advancing in infrastructures and facilities
where as going back in all other.
To understand it in a better way we can take
example of home and house. Actually what we are
creating is house on the name of development
where as to have happy social life and satisfaction
one would need Home not a house. So in the same
way for whole society scale instead of only
infrastructures and facilities development we need
to have a balance development in all parameters
which is required for a happy social life. And that
would be the real development.

Now I think you would have understood that

instead of approaching to a developed country we
should approach towards a developed and happy
country.
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Modernity:
This word is also having misleading meaning in
youth. Most of them understand it as being aligned
with current trends. But that is not the true sense of
modernity. Modernity is to think new ideas, to
implement new ideas keeping social welfare in
mind so that society will move towards happy and
satisfied society. A society where all the needs of
an individual will be full filled so that one could be
able to achieve the basic goal of his/her of having
pleasant time pass over life.

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Money & Professional life:
On these we need to be more clear. Money is
simply a mode of service exchange among the
peoples. We are earning money means we are
earning buying power to get service from other.

So Money is simply to earn happiness for us and

for our family. But most of us unknowingly earning
money by sacrificing our and our family’s
happiness.

Now come on professional life; Professional life is

there so that one can improve his personal life
ultimately but here also most of us neglecting
personal life in the improvement of professional
life.

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Virtue and Vice:
Virtues are not to just make us admirable but also it
helps to increase happiness in the society and of
ourselves. And vice is nothing but absence of Gyan
(knowledge) and it decreases the happiness in the
society and also of us.

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Fashion:
You might be thinking why I am discussing it here.
Because fashion has given great impact to our
culture and some how degraded it. Actually we
have deviated little bit from its actual meaning or
necessity. Fashion is needed to optimize or enhance
beauty or appearance of a particular person. But
now most of the people think it as costumes which
are in trend or resulting in attraction with opposite
sex. But few costumes are not good for society as
having sex appeal, which leads to wrong ideas.

When I was in college many of the boys used to

saw the females in age range of +-10 year to them
with sexual intention, even some time to 12-13 year
old child girl. I was feeling very…….. It is too bad
if anyone is seeing to some one with sexual interest
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of having age close to their mother or some one
very younger to them, even seeing any one other
than your life partner with sexual interest is wrong.
It is one of the results of culture degradation.

But it’s not all the time men are wrong, few times
costumes worn by females arose sexually to men,
which is very harmful for the society based on
family concept.

So we should try to look ‘asexual’ by not wearing

distracting clothes.

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 7. Concept of Conflict Margin

First of all we have to understand about Conflict

margin. Most common reason of unhappiness in the
society is conflicts between peoples.

Conflict Margin is the overlapping of the thoughts

between two people so that chances of arising of
conflicts between them become very less.

There could be three possibilities:

 You first - you first. (+ve Margin)
 You first or Me first(based on necessity)
(zero Margin)
 Me first - Me first. (-ve Margin or Gap)

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Amount of Conflict = gap between the thoughts or
–ve margin.

Let’s take an example,

Two persons are having 9 apples to distributor
between them. If both people are having feeling to
give other person more (take 4 and give 5) .Then
this is the case of positive margin, and this helps to
create a happy environment and strengthen the
bonding between them.

If both persons are thinking to take exactly equal (4

and half each). Or if giving other person more only
if there is a valid reason. Then this is the case of
zero margin or very less margin. This case is too
okay but as there is no or very less margin for
conflicts, so it may create unhappiness sometime.
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For example while earning these 9 apples if one of
them had put much more effort than other then
conflict will arise and there is no margin in this
case to tackle with that, so it may create
unhappiness and weaken the bonding between
them.

Now take the third case; both persons are willing to

get more (take 5 and give 4). Then this is the case
of –ve margin. In this case instead of having
margin, it itself will create conflicts between them.
So it surly helps to move towards unhappiness.

Conflict margin is not because of the thoughts of a

single person but it’s a mutual thing and is function
of thought processing of both the person, social
laws, rules and regulation of the country and many
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others thing. Person “A” can have +ve margin with
person “B” in some case where as in some other
case they could have –ve margin. Also person “A”
is having +ve margin with person “B” in most cases
but is having -ve margin with person “C” in most
cases.

In past because of rules or because of the thoughts

of individuals, there was the case of +ve margin in
most of the situations. But at present by looking
short term benefits we have created the situation of
–ve margin. Not only individuals but every where
big organizations, government’s even whole society
is moving toward the situation of –ve margin.

Lets take a example, when we go some office

where workload on every staffs are very high then
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if we try to query them for our work they tries to
ignore us, they don’t even talk nicely. So it creates
an unhappy environment.

Now take the same situation only difference is that

office staffs are having moderate workload. If we
go there for our work they give smile, they reply
nicely. This creates a happy environment.

Now analyze both the situation; taking nicely and

being helping is an individual’s nature but apart
from that other reason was the workload, for
earning higher profit organizations are putting
higher workload on its employ and that is resulting
in unhappy environment in the society.

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This situation is not only present in the offices, but
every where in the society, in the market, on the
road, in our home and everywhere.

On the name of competitive environment, whole

society is moving towards –ve margin, means
toward unhappiness.

Main causes behind the –ve margin are:

 Lack of common social guidelines for all
(creating differences in the thought
processing).
 Loopholes in existing social guidelines.
 Not being followed properly by every one.

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How to create a +ve margin environment?

If we are thinking to decrees conflict between

people by creating +ve margin then thoughts
processing of every one should bee similar. But
how could that be possible. Yes, it could if every
ones thought would be aligned, aligned with the
right thought. This is possible by education. Also
we need to take care of conflict margin whiles
creating any rules and regulation, social guidelines.

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 8. Finally let’s search happiness

We can’t change social system or whole society but

still there are enough things in our hand to make
our life happy. For that we should first know the
main reasons behind an unhappy environment.

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Reason for unhappy Environment:
 Lack of education (can’t be able to see long
run benefit)
 Cultural degradation.
 Lack of uniformed social guidelines for all.
 -Ve Conflict margin environment
Above are the main causes of unhappy
environment. Actually lack of education is the main
cause; Reason for Cultural degradation and –Ve
conflict margin is it self lack of education. Due to
lack of education few more things are resulting and
causing an unhappy environment as:
 Unfair system
 Unequal distribution of workload and
resources
 Running towards glamour
 And many more….
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Creating a Happy Environment:
 Understand the “right and wrong” and do
accordingly.
 Try to realize the need of culture and be a
good cultured.
 Understand the Conflict Margin, try to create
+ve margin environment.
 Follow the small but happy home concept…..
 Do justice where you get the chance, most
importantly in political election.
 Understand “Money” and “professional life”,
both are there so that one can improve his
personal life, but most of the time we do it
reverse.
 Be modern & be bold, but in real sense.

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