POEMS
I have read a lot of poems
Ones that tell you
How beautiful you are
Or
How you are more than just
What people see and say
And in those moments
I forget
How ashamed I am of myself
For possessing things people
Are embarrassed about
And that
I am pathetic for trying so hard
To be a doll in everyone’s eyes—
But then failing.
In those moments
I feel more of a woman
Than I ever been;
That it doesn’t matter
How much I weigh
And how good I look.
But
Those moments
Last only for a few seconds
Then I’m back again
To feeling like a dirt—
Disgusting and unwanted.
And I wonder what these poems
Ever meant to me in the first place.
BEAUTY
Like strawberry dipped in honey;
Beauty must taste sweet
Like a new-born puppy tucked to its mother’s
belly;
Beauty must be fragile
Like a soft silky fabric caressing against smooth
skin;
Beauty must be gentle
Like an orchestra of classical music;
Beauty must be elegant
But
The beauty I have isn’t sweet
Or fragile
Or gentle
Or elegant
All I have are folds upon folds
Scars against scars
And bumps after bumps.
When you look at me
You won’t find a single piece And more times do I wonder, how often is your
always.
That has your beauty
FUNNY
And I can just guess

In utter humiliation

That you’re thinking

“How unpretty”.

ALWAYS

I asked you a hundred times

If you love me or not

You say you do—

Always.

I let you choose a hundred times

Between me and something else

You say it’ll always be me—

Always

I asked you a hundred times

If you’ll stay by my side

You said you would—

Always

But

Your eyes fleet more to her than it does to me

Your lips purse longer when you choose me

Your smile falls more when you say you’ll stay

with me