The person you really need to marry (Tracy McMillan) – TED Talks

So what does it mean to marry yourself?

It’s a big idea, it is as big as a marriage itself, except if I could summarize it, it would be that
you enter into a relationship with yourself and then you put a ring on it.

In other word, you commit to yourself fully, and then you build a relationship with yourself to
the point where you realize that you’re whole right now. That there is no man, woman, job,
circumstance that can happen to you that is going to make you more whole because you already
are.

Rule #1 You are going to marry yourself for richer or for poorer.
Rule #2 You are going to marry yourself for better or for worse.
Rule #3 You marry yourself in sickness and in health.

So this business of marrying yourself transforms every area of your life:

Your business, family relationships, kids, social relationships, friends.

Because when you marry yourself, this huge thing happens: you become able to love in this
whole new way. You become able to love other people right where they are, for who they are,
the same way you already loving yourself.

Searching for love to escape ourselves (Hayley Quinn) – TEDx Talks

They look like love, they feel like love, but when you open them up, there’s nothing loving
about them. But we continued to chase love, because I think love is sold to us as almost like
the ultimate solution to ourselves: the things that makes our past okay, that gives us the
direction for the future, and imbues our everyday reality with meaning.

I think love can be beautiful. I think it can be exciting; but I think sometimes it can also be an
act of escapism.

A very minimalist strategy when it comes to dating… and that’s really because I’m concerned
that in our quest of finding love sometimes it can be the ultimate distraction to fixing ourselves
and doing the real work that will actually makes us happy.

The desire for attachment, for intimacy, for security, for love, those goals are natural, they’re
human and they’re good. But I think sometimes the way we go about them is a bit weird,
whether that’s crazy, ridiculous, on-off, destructive relationships, or needing to go out on a
date every single night of the week with a different person. In this, it feels really like loneliness
is the driver, or escapism is the driver, not love. But of course, the answer lies not on other
people but on yourself. Because I think, sometimes, the melodrama of love takes us further
away, rather than closer, to who we actually are.
Ending the pursuit of perfection (Iskra Lawrence) – TED x University of Nevada

We do have a problem though, and that is, the most important relationship we have in our life
is the one we have with ourselves and we are not taught about it. If we were taught how to look
after ourselves using self-care, could we help enrich our lives, makes us happier, combat our
insecurities and enable us to reach our full potential?

By changing self-care, I was able to change my life. It’s crazy these days. We have so many
pressures, and now we have social media. With the rise of social media, we literally have a
weapon of mass destruction to our self-esteem 24/7. Social media is curated, filtered, often
airbrushed, and sometimes even lifestyle illusion.

So, why is it that we feel these insecurities in the first place? Because from a very young age,
we’ve been conditioned to believe that our success and our happiness is highly dependent on
our attractiveness. Because if we are insecure, we are a motivated consumer.

The beauty ideal myth: So what are the sacrifices and costs for you to try and attain this? It’s
so detrimental to your mental and physical health. Who wins? The brands, magazines and
pharmaceutical industry. Who loses? We lose.

We need to stop trying to attain perfection, because we’re good already. If we could start
redefining the beauty ideal, imagine celebrating someone’s achievements, their
accomplishments, their personality, their morals and their values. To me that’s beautiful.

“Pick out 5 things that you love about your body for what it does for you” because we want to
change that discussion, not just what your body looks like. Your body is an incredible thing.
So, they started saying… it was so inspiring for me as well. Because you never know what
people are going to come up with.

Gratitude list!

What makes you special? (Mariana Atencio) – TED x University of Nevada

Making a friend was a special reward. Everybody wants to feel valued and accepted and we
think it should happen spontaneously, but it doesn’t. When you’re different, you have to work
at belonging. You have to be either really helpful, smart, funny, anything to be cool for the
crowd you want to hang out with.

Six Reasons You Choose the Wrong Partner – The School of Life

To choose a partner is the most important job interview we are ever asked to carry out. Around
half of us get it very wrong, not because we are inept, but because we are wounded.