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Samantha Urbina

English 101

Professor Granillo

21 November, 2019

Believe Her Too

“Nobody wants to believe that people do these things, so it’s easier to deny the accuser

and call her a liar” (Ward 2018). James Brown once sang, “this is a man’s world” and the famous

line continues to hold truth to this day. We live in a society where people refuse to believe that

men are incapable of doing the things they have been accused of, especially in the era of the Me

Too Movement. The Me Too organization’s purpose is to help survivors of sexual assault,

creating a community of advocacy on the taboo topic. Throughout the years' society has begun to

bring more attention to sexual assault, giving more and more victims a platform to make their

voices and stories heard. However, there has been plenty of disbelief in the women that have

come forward with their experiences of sexual assault and harassment. You hear all these horror

stories on the news about women and young girls getting touched or raped by men in their lives,

people as close as their own fathers. I still remember the exact moment when my friend of 7

years told me she was raped. Maybe I was being ignorant, but I never thought something so

horrible would hit close to home. While my friend was left to deal with the trauma, fearing to tell

anyone with the thought of no one believing her, the boys that did this to her went on with their

lives in college. As if nothing ever happened. Our society has been so caught up in this mentality

that men can do no harm and women are irrational, causing serious ramifications on how we

value women, demeaning their opinions and words. We need to believe these young women,
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showing our support with their situation. We need to stop supporting a culture of silence where

men continue to get away with their crimes, and injustice continues.

Despite the Me Too movement being founded in 2006, in a rise of female empowerment,

the movement gained a social following in 2017 after the Harvey Weinstein scandal unfolded

due to a New York Times article shedding light on a series of sexual assault allegations against

him. Weinstein was the generic creepy Hollywood producer: a straight, heavy-set, white male

with a receding hairline. After the New York Times article was published, it was all downhill

from there. The allegations against Weinstein allowed women who have been harassed by him to

feel somewhat safe, despite coming forth in a public way, to say “Me Too”. Twitter played a

major role in starting a conversation about sexual assault through the start of the #MeToo

hashtag. Pew Research Center, a non-partisan research organization, analyzed the use of the

hashtag that stated: “the #MeToo hashtag has been used more than 19 million times on Twitter

from the date of Milano’s initial tweet through Sept. 30 of this year…”(Anderson and Toor

2018). Alyssa Milano, an actress known for the classic 90’s show Charmed, has been credited

with spreading awareness about the Me Too organization after receiving a series amount of

responses when asking women who have been affected by sexual assault or abuse to reply to her

tweet with #MeToo. The 19 million tweets with a simple hashtag have allowed people to view

the magnitude of the issues. Since these events, women in politics and film have shared their

stories, however, there has been little to no action in terms of litigation. Post Weinstein scandal, a

series of male actors such as Louis C.K. and Kevin Spacey have been outed with sexual assault

and abuse allegations. However, there has been a lack of action taken with these allegations, as
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the men put an apology or simply go out into hiding until society forgives or forgets the

situation.

As a kid, I remember a time in elementary where Kesha’s song “Tik Tok” had been

released and I remember just feeling free to be as weird and as open as I could be. Kesha wasn’t

the typical pop artist you would see in 2009. A blonde girl with booty shorts, crazy makeup and

cowboy boots who despite her unusual appearance appealed to the younger generation. As I kid I

remember thinking she was someone who did what she wanted and I admired in her ability to

say “fuck it”. Kesha was one of the few pop artists at the time, who despite major backlash due

to her raunchiness, did what she wanted. However listening back to “Tik Tok” now, it was one of

the hits you hear and kind of just get over after a little. Even though it was no classic wonder,

behind the music and makeup, it was just a young girl who wanted to be something. The industry

whether it is film or music requires people to change who they are and follow a certain look in

order to become entertaining.

Seeing her career today, a rustic and more soulful vibe to the music, one could see how

she acted as she did in her early career for the label. I remember in 2017 starting to hear about

allegations Kesha had out against her record producer, Lukasz Sebastian Gottwals who had gone

by the tacky name of Dr. Luke. It was the first time I or really anyone had heard about it. Seeing

how she filed charges of sexual assault, sexual harassment, battery claims and a series of more

charges against her producer, I couldn’t even say that was the most shocking part. For my

curiosity, I decided to do more research on the timeline of her lawsuit against her producer, in

which I found the charges had first been filed in 2015. It wasn’t until 2 years later that it began to

be publicized as throughout the two years if her case, the court and Dr. Luke himself kept
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dismissing her case. This is a man’s world. Men in the workplace, especially in high positions

continue to abuse their power keeping women silent. Her rape had happened long before she

filed the suit. Kesha stated not previously coming forth with her abuse because Gottwals had

threatened to end her career if she were to go public with her allegations.

Knowing someone you care about was hurting and seeing how powerless they felt, is one of the

most gut-wrenching feelings. I felt more emotions than I could describe when my friend, who I

will name Hannah for the sake of her privacy, told me her sexual abuse story. It happened at a

high school party that was after prom, filled with half of the people from our school and the other

half were the typical potheads that were at every valley party. Knowing that I was supposed to be

with her at the party made me feel as though it was my fault it happened to her. I should have

been there to keep her company. I should have protected her. I should have prevented it from

happening. But I wasn’t. Hannah had tried telling a guy she had been talking to for a couple of

months when it first happened, who then turned the idea of opening up to him as rude for not

thinking of “how he was feeling” saying “it’s a lot to put on one person”. This is a man’s world.

It still befuddles me how one could victimize themselves in a situation they could never begin or

attempt to understand.

I remember her sitting in my car crying to me and all I wanted to do was get justice on

these boys. But because of when she tried to open up the first time, it gave her the impression she

would get the same reaction for everyone. She wanted to sweep it under the rug and put the past

behind her. The saddest part is situations like Hannah, were not uncommon. RAINN, the Rape,

Abuse & Incest National Network is an anti-sexual assault organization, reported “only 230 out

of every 1,000 sexual assaults are reported to the police. That means about 3 out of 4 go
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unreported” (RAINN 2017). Three out of four. This number displays how women don’t feel

empowered enough to tell what happened to them. Hannah had repeatedly told me that if she had

been sober if she hadn’t taken those drugs it would have never happened. All I could see in

Hannah was her feeling shame about what had happened to her. Everyone processes their own

experiences differently, but it's sad to see women, my own best friend, place the fault on

themselves when it wasn’t. Men shouldn’t be able to have this control over us, but they do. It

makes me feel almost helpless and small. It’s surreal seeing people you’ve grown up with: a

friend, a sister being minimized because people won’t believe them, forcing them to keep their

traumas to themselves.

So many women who are survivors of sexual assault or abuse are silenced in fear of

retaliation, humiliation, rejection. Some women have tried to be that one in four who report their

abuse to police but are stopped due to victim-blaming. Even after finding out that my best friend

had become apart of the millions of women that are victims of sexual assault and harassment, I

hadn’t realized how faulty the criminal justice system was to the women that had tried to come

foward to the police. On another warm night in Los Angeles, I was doing my daily Netflix

browsing of shows trying to find something to binge watch and avoid doing any work. Scrolling

through my recommendations I came across a mini series called “Unbelievable”. For the amount

of time I spend on social media, I hadn’t seen any advertising or promotions for it, but something

in me told it to watch it. Based on a true story, the series focuses on Marie Adler who was raped

in her room in the middle of the night by an unknown man who broke into her apartment

complex. In attempting to tell the police and detectives, Adler was repeatedly asked to recall the

traumatic experience where police began to suspect she lied about the rape for attention after
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minor changes in her story. The actress they had chosen to play Marie Adler had an uncanny

resemblance to Hannah. At times it became unsettling to watch, knowing that Hannah and Marie

were apart of so many girls who stay silent because of the way people view this topic. If it’s not

men threatening to ruin lives, just as Kesha was told by her producer, it’s people doubting sexual

assault and harassment survivors' stories. When Adler tried to tell her story, no one believed her.

Adler had ended being charged with “gross misdemeanor” as the people involved in her case

believed that due to her past she had made up the story to get attention. It wasn’t until three years

later that detectives had traced a series of cases where women who had been raped in the same

situation as Adler, that they were able to catch the serial rapist proving her innocence. All these

women, Adler, Kesha, and my own friend have all tried to tell their stories and suffered an

unreasonable amount of obstacles and pain. Society has created a toxic environment where

women are too scared to come forward with their sexual assault stories and for those who do are

called liars or “attention seekers”.

To this day, 2 years later, Hannah still has not reported her rape in fear of what people

will think of her and what the boys will do to her. This is not okay. This is a woman’s world too.

Women's voices should be just as valued as the men that have claimed to “never have laid hands

on her”. There have been too many instances of women going through traumatic experiences and

despite the pain, sweep it under the rug. Men deserve to pay for their consequences even if it

ruins their life, it was their decision and they must receive consequences. Society must change

how we go about taking on sexual assault and harassment allegations, creating a safe

environment whether if its in the hands of an organization or in the process of fighting for one’s

justice in court.
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Annotated Bibliography

Anderson, Monica, and Skye Toor. “How Social Media Users Have Discussed Sexual

Harassment since #MeToo Went Viral.” ​Pew Research Center​, Pew Research Center, 11

Oct. 2018,

www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2018/10/11/how-social-media-users-have-discussed-sex

ual-harassment-since-metoo-went-viral/​.

Pew Research Center is non partisan website that covers all topics whether it is issues and

attitudes on events in politics, global events, pop culture, etc. It provides statistics on issues

solely based on facts and strays away from being biased. Statistics although they are just

numbers, allow the audience to see the facts of a situation and the magnitude of an issue or event,

which I was aiming at when I included this evidence. The purpose of using this source was to

display to the audience the amount of women that used the hashtag #MeToo showing how many

women have been victims of sexual abuse or assault. The statistic of 19 million women on social

media had a huge cultural impact for the Times Up and Me Too movement.

Ward, Stephanie Francis. “Time’s Up: Legal, Judicial Systems Slow to Adapt to Sexual

Harassment and Assault Issues.” ​ABA Journal,​ vol. 10, no. 7, 1 June 2018, pp. 241–264.,

doi:10.9737/hist.2018.658.

ABA Journal is the American Bar Association, a magazine that is specifically targeted at lawyers

publishing a magazine every month. The ABA journal’s purpose is to inform on law

practices for decision-makers on trends and attitudes people in economy and in society.

The purpose for the use of this article is a specific quote focusing on the ethics of sexual
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assault cases. The quote shows how in cases regards rape or harassment women are to be

blamed as society tends to lean that men are just not capable of commiting such a

horrendous crime.

“The Criminal Justice System: Statistics.” ​RAINN​,

www.rainn.org/statistics/criminal-justice-system​.

RAINN, the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, is an anti-sexual assault organization that

focuses on spreading awareness about this issue by educating people on sexual assault statistics

and offering support for those who are having difficulty in processing their trauma. This

organization provides an abundant amount of information and advice/support for survivors. The

purpose of using this website was to illustrate the urgency for women to be supported and create

a safe environment to share sexual assault stories. To many women are keeping these traumas

unreported as three out of four women do not report their sexual assaults to the police.