An Open Book

Welcome to Eternal Sunshine of the Creative Mind—a column that reaches out to artistic minds and
exposes their secrets.

Eternal Sunshine talked to Natalia Pacheco, an aspiring artist from South Los Angeles to learn about her
unique voice.

Eternal Sunshine: How did you know you wanted to be an artist?

Natalia: I didn’t always want to be an artist. At first, I was like, hey why don’t you pick something cool
that everyone will remember you for. I told all my teachers I wanted to be a neurologist after watching
some documentaries. Man, they would brag about me all the time. That was nice for a while. I stuck to
that idea and thought art was a fruitless venture, something for losers. I guess I’m a loser now according
to what I used to think. At least I’m a cool loser.

Eternal Sunshine: What made you change your mind?

Natalia: I can’t remember. I always had it in me. I loved sifting through my Tias’ old artwork and copying
them with the shakiest lines ever. I love color and freedom. Figures of authority never sit well with me
and what’s more rebellious than anything in this entire world?! Art, that’s what. But let me think about
the moment I changed my mind. I think it was in middle school, I decided, this is really fun, I love
spitting out whatever's in my colorful mind. I started drawing portraits of family members. Wait—no—it
was before that. My parents bought me a set of markers, very expensive ones. Gosh, they were so pretty,
and the smell of alcohol from them is still fresh in my nose. I was so excited to get better and use them to
their full potential. I couldn’t keep coloring the same bug-eyed, anime girl over and over with these.

Eternal Sunshine: Are these the only reasons you wanted to be an artist?
Natalia: To be honest, I love attention and compliments. I’m sure everyone loves compliments, I love
when people love the characters I create. When people see what I’m drawing and they say isn’t that the
guy you drew last time? Wasn’t his name Sunny or Jude? The rush is surreal! I love to see them invest in
the stories I make. I guess I could say that's the reason I make art, to get a reaction. Human interaction is
the basis of my happiness. Also, have you guys ever ​tried​ math?

Eternal Sunshine: I haven’t asked much about your work. What do you even make?
Natalia: I take pride in being a woman of many talents and mediums. Sure, I should focus on one thing,
but how can anyone do that!? I respect the people that know what they want in life. I think every day
should have some element of surprise. I think my art, my drawings, my films should give something
different every time. What do I make? I make art. I make sketches with a pencil or paintings with cheap
watercolors I accidentally stole from my school. I make movies that can’t live up to Charlie Kaufman but
work for me, and at the end of the day, I’m the most important person to myself.

Eternal Sunshine: What would do with a million dollars?

Natalia: If I were to ignore the big chunk that my taxes take, I would say that half of it would go to my
sister first. She’s smart, I’m sure she would do something amazing with that much money, probably even
spend it wiser. Next, I would start a non-profit. Something that would help kids because they need help
but no one’s taking action. I think I’d like to work with orphans specifically. These kids who are
preoccupied with things that even adults never worry about, I want to give them the chance to live a little
more carefree like every kid should. I’m not good with a lot of things like teaching or complicated
subjects but I think I’d give them what I love. The easiest way to ever relate is to focus on what we both
love. So if I could give kids the art I love and teach them not necessarily how to do art, but to love it, I
would be satisfied. When we don’t have direction, it’s hard to feel like we fit in anywhere, and I don’t
want any kid to feel like an outcast. Even if I can’t help kids, I know I’d like to give the money to help out
others. Anything as long as the money helps bring more positivity.

Eternal Sunshine: I always ask artists this and I wonder what you have to say. When do you know you’re
finished with a project?
Natalia: Dang, hitting me with hard questions. How do I answer that?.... I think...I think I’m done when
I’m satisfied. I don’t think I will ever finish any of my pieces or movies. There’s always one thing I could
fix. One thing someone else thinks I should improve. Some space that’s not filled. If I let all those get to
me there’s no way I would stick to art. The stress would destroy me, so now I just accept the mistakes as
part of the finished product. There is nothing in this universe that is perfect, even humans, so why should
I expect my art to be perfect? That’s what’s so great about what I do. There’s always room for
improvement or some small thing I can fix. Some people probably can’t handle the little mistakes but then
where is the fun in just going all out and expressing themselves? At the moment, my canvas can look
complete. In the end, my film can seem perfect but every time I go back I always find something small to
tweak. So I don’t think I ever finish a project but I know that when I feel that I can accept for what it is,
my work is relatively finished.