Dear Rachel,

Thank you for taking the time to read my revised Writing Project 1. Editing this
paper was a labor of love. It took me days, because I just couldn’t find the words. I worked
incredibly hard on these ideas, and I hope you find that reflected in this essay.

My first draft was focused on the topic rather than the genre. I significantly revised my
introduction, thesis and body paragraphs to emphasize how genres use their conventions to elicit
particular responses.

Everything about this paper challenged me. I wrote through a dozen drafts, getting caught
up on word choices, sentence structure, and argument structure. I got discouraged through a lot
of this process, because I felt like some of my revisions may have hindered my paper. I finally
came up with a draft that I feel happy with. I had all of the components in my first draft, but my
ideas were jumbled. I hope you find that this essay is easier to read than the first, and that the
arguments are cohesive.

In the end, I think we are our own harshest critics. The advice I got from my first draft
was incorporated throughout, but the majority of the revisions came from my own read-through.
It’s hard to know when to stop editing, because I don’t ever feel like the work is good enough.
This project was a good practice for me to cut-off my criticisms. I spent a very long time revising
this first paper, and I really wanted to move on and change the second one as well.

I hope you enjoy this read, and I look forward to hearing your feedback for improvement.

Thank you for everything.

Sincerely,

Eliyana Van Doren

 Van Doren1

Eliyana Van Doren

Rachel Feldman

Writing 2

December 6, 2019

From Bloggers to Biologists: Exploring Millenial’s Sources of Health Information

A white room adorned with sharp, metal instruments is the ​last​ place a sick person wants

to be; especially if they already know what they’re sick with, and how to treat it.

Millennials--people raised in the “digital era”--are marked by their avid rejection of tradition,

which extends to the way they manage their health. With modern technology, endless

information is available at the touch of a fingertip; a single google search offers 150 million

results in less than ​one second.​ Countless links provide diagnostic suggestions, possible causes,

and treatments. Widespread access to health information coincides with millennials’ distrust of

the healthcare system; Simple advice obtained on the internet would have cost them a fortune if

they asked a doctor.

Consequently, confidence in the medical system is waning. Data from a recent survey

revealed that more than half of millennials trust online health advice just as much as their

doctors’--but where is this trustworthy advice coming from? Just as in print, information online

is presented through a variety of genres. In her essay ​Backpacks vs. Briefcases: Steps Toward

Rhetorical Analysis​, Laura Carroll argues that genres emerge as a response to an exigence. In

response to the growing distrust in the healthcare system, scientific articles and wellness blogs

established their prominence as genres that publish health information online. To restore trust in

evidence based medicine, scientific articles enhance the accessibility of their publications by
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using simple, concise diction and descriptive titles. Alternatively, wellness bloggers capitalize on

millennials’ distrust for monetary gain; By employing conversational tones, pleasing aesthetics,

and anecdotes, bloggers establish themselves as reputable sources of information.While different

in their motivations, both genres utilize manipulate their conventions to connect with millenials

who distrust the healthcare system.

The “wellness” blog emerged as a platform for young people to exchange health tips..

Bold fonts and bright images decorate blog posts appealing to young audiences, which facilitates

peer discourse between bloggers and their followers. As their following grows, bloggers get paid

sponsorships to feature products on their page. To attract potential followers, wellness bloggers

typically draw on personal stories. Anecdotal accounts of recovery--anything ranging from

eating disorders to mysterious illnesses--both expose the authors vulnerability while establishing

their authority on the subject.

Lee Tilghman has mastered the use of anecdotal evidence. In 2015, she was successful

enough to quit her job and blog full-time. Now totaling nearly half a million followers, “Lee

From America” predominates Instagram’s wellness scene. Thousands of comments follow each

post, praising her life-changing advice--but what makes people trust her? In one post titled

​ ee Tilghman strikes a sensational tone immediately through her use

Adrenal Fatigue: My Story, L

of short, loaded sentences. The intro reads: “Adrenal Fatigue is not foreign to me. I suffered with

serious adrenal fatigue when I hid my mid-twenties[..] my hormones caught up to me,[…]the

only thing that worked was SLOWING DOWN.”(Tilghman). The use of language like

“suffered,” and the personification of her hormones “catching up to her,”create a sense of

urgency, compelling the audience to continue on. In addition to engaging readers, the
 Van Doren3

introduction to Lee’s story offers a solution. Sharing her traumatic experience and recovery from

adrenal fatigue qualifies her as a compassionate, reputable source for advice. The post is

targeted towards people who experience the same “condition,” as she sympathizes, “I know how

overwhelming it can be to find out you have adrenal fatigue.” Adrenal fatigue is not a legitimate

medical diagnosis, so the only way to “find out” you have it is through ​self ​diagnosis. Lee

validates her followers’ distress, which strengthens bonds between the audience and the author.

Consequently, this also perpetuates readers’ ​distrust​ in traditional medicine, as most doctors’

write-off the vague symptoms of adrenal fatigue. Furthermore, Tilghman explains how she

healed through a practice of self-care, herbal remedies, and meditation. She links several

“helpful” products from her sponsorships. Since the audience trusts her, they are likely to buy

them and support her livelihood. Lee’s use of anecdotal evidence effectively establishes her

authority, attracting a young audience who are wary of traditional medicine. While Lee sets an

extreme example, other bloggers take a subtler approach in building the audience’s trust.

Lex Daddio established herself among the most successful wellness bloggers by utilizing

personal experience to build a friend-like relationship with readers. One post titled ​5 ways I

Healed my Relationship with Exercise ​outlines how Lex healed her relationship with exercise

after years of disordered eating. In the introduction, Daddio directly addresses her intended

audience writing “I’m just sharing my experience & what helped me in hopes to inspire you if

you’re dealing with the same thing or something similar.” (Daddio).​ ​Explicitly stating the

purpose of the article makes the intended audience feel an immediate connection with the author,

effectively building a relationship.​ ​ Unlike Lee, Lex uses unconventional punctuation, smiley

faces, and exclamation marks, which creates a friendly, light-hearted tone. Combined with the
 Van Doren4

simple, brief sections, the article communicates a sense of comfort and ease, transforming the

heavy-topic of recovery into something more digestible She ends the piece on an inspirational

note, emphasizing “you are GOOD ENOUGH. SMART ENOUGH. PRETTY ENOUGH.”

(Daddio). The reader is left with an overwhelming sense of optimism. Lex’s positive tone

throughout makes recovery seem simple. Medical professionals are not so generous--they are

very straightforward in the risks of exercising with a history of disordered eating. Therefore,

young people are more likely to trust the kind, easy-going words of Lex than going to harsh

doctors.

Contrasting the subjective anecdotal evidence used in wellness blogs, scientific articles

use experimental data to communicate knowledge to the public. Until recently, there was little

variation in this genre. The typical paper was broken up into six sections: the abstract, materials

and methods, results, discussion, conclusion, and references. This rigid structure entails many

restraints. A limited audience—educated, internet access, long attention-span—will be able to

read the paper, and even less will understand it. With technological advances, scientific articles

evolved to emphasize concision, making them more accessible--especially to young people. By

simplifying the language and structure of traditional articles, scientists are better able to

communicate their evidence, which functions to restore trust in traditional medicine. Just as

blogs emphasize self-reliance, the scientific paper titled “Adrenal fatigue does not exist: a

systematic review.” dismantles the power of the individual in their self-diagnosis. Upon first

glance, this paper follows the typical structure: six sections packed with medical jargon such as

“hydrocortisone” and “fibromyalgia.” The complex language combined with the length of the

paper (just scrolling through took me at least a minute) is a big constraint. As Janet Boyd
 Van Doren5

explained in “Murder! Rhetorically Speaking,” sometimes “plain, simple diction” would prevail

in a situation like this: where scientists are trying to get through to the public, who currently

receive health information from short captions on Instagram. (Boyd 98). To grapple with this

constraint, the title of the paper is as informative as the paper itself. It is titled “Adrenal fatigue

does not exist: a systematic review.” Immediately, the reader gets the main point of the paper.

Additionally, peer-reviewed journals imply credibility, so the audience can forego the lengthy

reading and accept the title at face value. In addition to the title, each section is summarized into

one or two sentences with clear diction.. The summary of the conclusion reads “This systematic

review proves that there is no substantiation that adrenal fatigue is an actual medical condition.

Therefore, adrenal fatigue is still a myth.” (Cadegiani and Kater 2016). Even though the second

sentence seems unnecessary, this is an excellent way to frame your argument to a lay audience. If

there was any confusion on what the study results meant, it was cleared up, plain and simple.

Transcending typical conventions of scientific publications allow scientists to effectively

challenge millennials’ distrust in evidence-based medicine. Consistent with this trend, another

article uses concise diction to ease communication.

One abstract titled “Eating Disorders and Exercise--A Challenge,” appears in a journal

that assesses exercise based interventions for mental illness. This particular abstract raises

concerns of exercising after a period of disordered eating. In contrast with the similarly focused

blog post by Lex Daddio, the language in this abstract is very matter-of-fact. It is devoid of

exclamation points and unnecessary flourishes. It simply states: “problematic exercise behavior

has a high incidence and may undermine the crucial [..] goal of gaining weight.” (Probst 2016).

While Lex Daddio appealed to readers’ emotions using inspiring language, this scientific piece
 Van Doren6

appeals to logos. It objectively discusses the dangers of exercising in recovery, without making it

seem systematic or easy. The conclusion of this paper is cut and dry--exercising with a history of

an eating disorder can undermine a crucial part of recovery. This concise argument is devoid of

jargon, which makes it accessible to young people; however, the bright and easy blog post by

Lex Daddio definitely is more exciting. While this abstract successfully conveys their argument,

the antiquated structure of this paper may turn millennials away.

It’s understandable that young people turn to bloggers online for health information.

Contrasted with the expense of a medical visit, or the complexity of scientific evidence, engaging

blog posts offer palatable advice. Unfortunately, the monetary incentive for bloggers to produce

content diminishes the quality and credibility of these tips. Additionally, as young people are

dissuaded from getting professional help, their health may suffer. Scientific articles need to

change their conventions to wrestle with the growing prominence of “influencers,” because in all

honesty, millennials will only listen if writing is brief, engaging, and on their level.
 Van Doren7

Addendum:

Sample 1:

Adrenal Fatigue is not foreign to me. I suffered with serious adrenal fatigue for about 16 months

when I hit my mid-twenties. Until then, my go-go lifestyle was something I treasured and held

high. I liked always being pumped up and having something to do and somewhere to go. I hated

the idea of slowing down or falling behind. But then, my hormones caught up to me, and I tried

everything but the only thing that worked SLOWING DOWN.

Background:

[CUT OUT PORTION, REFER TO LEEFROMAMERICA]

In terms of my diet, I would go through really intense periods of heavily restricting and under

eating/overexercising and then switching to periods of no exercise at all compiled with heavy

drinking and eating whatever I wanted. This was a very toxic mental and physical cycle that I

didn’t know how to get out of, and was too embarrassed to ask for help with. I didn’t feel “sick

enough” to go back into in patient treatment, but I knew I was having trouble achieving balance.

It was pretty isolating, if I’m being honest.

I didn’t know it at the time but this was putting my body under a tremendous amount of stress. I

was also depressed that I couldn’t get myself to maintain my weight. I was either underweight or

had an extra 5 lbs or so on me. As someone who’s had an eating disorder, this was always the

hardest part.

[BIG PORTION CUT OUT. CAN FIND THE REST ON LEEFROMAMERICA]

In March 2016, my best friend and I decided to do a 21 day elimination diet. We eliminated

gluten, dairy, soy, dates, bananas. During these 21 days, I felt completely amazing. It was then
 Van Doren8

that I realized how much diet affected me. I decided to keep all of these triggers out of my diet

for a substantial amount of time while my body healed. To this day I keep these foods to a

minimum. Keep in mind that this is what worked for MY body, and won't necessary work for

yours. We are all different!

[PORTION CUT OUT]

Herbs and Supplements: I also take a few different herbs and supplements to help me with my

adrenal fatigue, including magnesium (helps you relax and relieve iBS-C), ashwagandha (stress

reliever), cinnamon, and chaga and reishi mushrooms. I get most of these herbs and supplements

on Amazon or from Sun Potion. You have to experiment and see what fits you.

Limiting Stress: this may sound general and vague, but limiting or watching my stress levels

really helped me get over my adrenal fatigue. This includes daily rituals like journaling, baths, or

self care routines like manicures or face masks. It's different for everyone, but adapting habits

that you know help relieve your stress and incorporating them into your every day routine is

essential to living a healthy and well balanced life.

Drawing Boundaries: I had to learn to say NO to more events to make sure I am not overexerting

myself and not burning the candles at both ends. This is a very common practice amongst people

in this day in age. Learning to say no is one of the biggest forms of self love I have ever

cultivated.

I know how overwhelming it can be to find out you have adrenal fatigue. It's also scary because

there is no "quick fix", which is what we are so used to. But know that it IS possible to heal your

adrenal fatigue naturally. You have to take one thing at a time, and adopt new lifestyle habits. To

this day, I stay away from coffee and make sure I get 5-10 minutes a day to myself to practice
 Van Doren9

some form of self love of self care, whether it be a bath, a meditation or breath work session, or

something else from my list. There is also plenty of other information in how to get over adrenal

fatigue in the book Womancode by Alisa Vitti.

What is your experience with adrenal fatigue? How have you managed to get over it?

Sample 2:

Good Morning!

Okay, so here is my post continued since I wasn’t able to fit it all in my caption I hope this is helpful for you

all! I’m just sharing my experience & what helped me in hopes to inspire you if you’re dealing with the same

thing or something similar. Here we go:

1. I HAD TO HEAL MY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD. I was either restricting and exhausted (who wants

to move their body when they have zero energy?) or overly full from a binge and all i wanted to do was lay in

bed and watch Netflix. Once I healed my relationship with food and learned that eating more gave me energy,

made me feel good, and actually made me want to move my body i was able to start moving for fun! This took

time and patience to heal and it was a journey, I’m going to be honest here. However, I believe if I can be

healed from an eating disorder, anyone can. I also highly suggest that if you are struggling with one, seek help

and treatment. Acknowledging it and bringing it into the light is such an imperative step to recovery.

2. I STOPPED OVERCOMPLICATING IT. Instead of trying to find the perfect recipe for weight loss and

what exercises everyone else was doing, I took a step back. I focused on walking, which gets a bad rap, but

walking is amazing for your body and the perfect movement in my opinion! Then when I started feeling so

great from the walking, had more energy, and was eating enough and felt good, I started craving something

more. I actually found Pure Barre, and it changed everything for me! I love the people, the atmosphere, and the
 Van Doren10

movements. I walk out of the studio feeling refreshed and motivated. That’s the only way I want to leave a

workout. I don’t like feeling drained and exhausted after. So for me, I stick to walking and Pure Barre. Find

what makes you happy and excites you. Maybe that’s going on a walk SOLO (or with your baby in a stroller

AKA me) while listening to a podcast, because you need some you time. Or maybe you get your energy from

being surrounded by people, find somewhere you can do that! Just find what works for YOU. Not what

everyone else is doing.

3. I LET GO OF THE ALL-OR-NOTHING MENTALITY. I can be so all-or-nothing when it comes to

everything (working on that), but especially movement/ exercise. So if I couldn’t do Pure Barre 3 times this

week, then I may as well not go at all. Or if I could only walk for 10 minutes then that doesn’t even count,

because it’s not 30 minutes. Well once I let go of those rules I had engrained in my head, I was able to just

start moving more. To not be so focused on the numbers, times, etc but just moving! For me, the more I move,

the better I personally feel. It gives me more energy, which seems backwards but it truly does. I even just try to

move more by taking the stairs, parking further away, dancing around the kitchen, or doing some squats/

pushups here or there while playing with T! That’s me, because I think it’s fun, but do what feels right for you

and just MOVE.

[PORTION CUT OUT, REFER TO RESTORING RADIANCE]

Also, I just want to add a little bonus and say to quiet the diet culture noise. I know it can be so intriguing and

influence you without even knowing it. The promises of flat abs and a bikini body with this new workout or

meal plan or etc. But they are spending SO MUCH MONEY trying to suck you in with something new all the

time. It’s an industry. That is trying to make money. So throw away those books or magazines or unfollow

those accounts that are making you feel bad about yourself. You are beautiful and wonderful and you’re better

than that. I personally block out any diet culture statements, and remind myself that I’m already good enough. I
 Van Doren11

don’t have to fall for their traps. I hope you do that too and I hope you know that. You are GOOD ENOUGH.

SMART ENOUGH. PRETTY ENOUGH. LOVED! Just a little extra encouragement for you today!

Xoxo,

Lex

Sample 3:

Abstract

Background

The term “adrenal fatigue” (“AF”) has been used by some doctors, healthcare providers, and the

general media to describe an alleged condition caused by chronic exposure to stressful situations.

Despite this, “AF” has not been recognized by any Endocrinology society, who claim there is no

hard evidence for the existence. The aim of this systematic review is to verify whether there is

substantiation for “AF”.

Methods

A systematic search was performed at PUBMED, MEDLINE (Ebsco) and Cochrane databases,

from the beginning of the data until April 22nd, 2016. Searched key words were:

“adrenal” + “fatigue”, “adrenal” + “burnout”, “adrenal” + “exhaustion”, “hypoadrenia”,

“burnout” + “cortisol”, “fatigue” + “cortisol”, “clinical” + “burnout”,

“cortisol” + “vitalility”, “adrenal” + “vitality”, and “cortisol” + “exhaustion”. Eligibility

 Van Doren12

criteria were: (1) articles written in English, (2) cortisol profile and fatigue or energy status as the

primary outcome, (3) performed tests for evaluating the adrenal axis, (4) absence of influence of

corticosteroid therapy, and (5) absence of confounding diseases. Type of questionnaire to distinct

fatigued subjects, population studied, tests performed of selected studies were analyzed.

Results

From 3,470 articles found, 58 studies fulfilled the criteria: 33 were carried in healthy individuals,

and 25 in symptomatic patients. The most assessed exams were “Direct Awakening Cortisol” (​n

= ​ 29), “Cortisol Awakening Response” (​n = ​ 27) and “Salivary Cortisol Rhythm” (​n = ​ 26).

Discussion

We found an almost systematic finding of conflicting results derived from most of the studies

methods utilized, regardless of the validation and the quality of performed tests. Some

limitations of the review include: (1) heterogeneity of the study design; (2) the descriptive nature

of most studies; (3) the poor quality assessment of fatigue; (4) the use of an unsubstantiated

methodology in terms of cortisol assessment (not endorsed by endocrinologists); (5) false

premises leading to an incorrect sequence of research direction; and, (6) inappropriate/invalid

conclusions regarding causality and association between different information.

Conclusion

This systematic review proves that there is no substantiation that “adrenal fatigue” is an actual

medical condition. Therefore, adrenal fatigue is still a myth.

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Sample 4:

Exercise-Based Interventions for Mental Illness

Physical Activity as Part of Clinical Treatment

2018, Pages 169-186

Chapter 9 - Eating Disorders and

Exercise—A Challenge
Author links open overlay panel​ProbstMichel

Show more

https://doi.org/10.1016/B978-0-12-812605-9.00009-5​Get rights and content

Abstract
Exercise is a controversial issue in the​ ​treatment of eating disorders​. In​ ​anorexia

nervosa​, problematic exercise behavior has a high incidence and may undermine the

crucial therapeutic goal of gaining weight. This behavior is a challenge for each

therapist. The eating disorder literature regarding the terms and definitions related to

exercise is not univocal. Physical, psychological, and social issues interfere with this

behavior. Therapists are confronted with many questions without clear and transparent

solutions. Currently, physical activity and exercise may be considered important

facets of care. Supported exercise interventions for​ ​patients with eating disorders

appear to be safe and without side effects. This chapter highlights exercise in the
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context of eating disorder pathology and proposes strategies and guidelines to curb

this​ ​problematic behavior​ illustrated by clinical vignettes.