Pearl Diving

Ryan Mahoney

ENCE424

November 16, 2019

 Introduction

As we are nearing the end of the term, the lessons from class are really starting to
come together. The combination of the lessons in class and the readings creates a diverse and
comprehensive learning experience. Certain lessons stand out more than others. Quotes,
readings, and activities are part of some of the lessons. I will go on to discuss significant
lessons from the quotes, the book ​Crucial Conversations,​ and the debate on the Big Dig
project.

Class Quote

The most memorable quote for me was from the second week of class. It was the very
first quote that we read in class. It was by George Bernard Shaw stating, “The biggest
problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place” (Shaw). This quote is very
significant when it comes to ENCE 424. As demonstrated in class with the ball, you can send
a message, but that doesn't mean that the other person understood it or even received it. There
are several parts of sending and receiving messages. They include source, encoding, channel,
decoding, receiver, and finally the feedback. The source is the person who is sending the
message or idea to the other person. The encoding is when the source puts their message in a
form that can be easily decoded or understood such as words or pictures. The channel is how
the message is sent. This could be a face to face meeting with the other person or an email.
After the message is sent, it must be decoded to be understood. Finally the receiver has fully
understood the message when it is decoded. After it is understood, the receiver often gives
back some sort of feedback such as a non verbal reaction.
Communication could fail at any point in the process. An idea that is not properly
encoded will be sent and be unable to be decoded. A message could fail at the channel by a
letter not being received. Because of all these possibilities for something to fail, you can’t
assume communication has taken place. People usually just assume that the other person has
understood them. ​With so much communication taking place over text or email, there is even
more possibility for miscommunication, since it is easier to misinterpret what is written.​As a
project leader, it is important that everyone understands you. You are often the center of
communications between different departments in a group. If a team leader designates a
project to an individual and just assumes they know what they have to do, it could lead to
many complications. If the project idea is not understood, it can not be done correctly,
possibly leading to improper work being done if not caught or deadlines being missed due to
time being wasted on doing the project improperly. Taking the time to make sure that
communication was properly understood can save you from troubles down the road. It often
doesn’t take much longer to make sure that your idea was properly understood, and it is worth
it in the long run. During the spaghetti tower project, I was the project manager for my team. I
spent a very long time making sure everyone was on the same page when it came to the
construction of our tower. It did take longer than I would prefer, but making sure they had a
proper understanding of our tower design gave me the freedom to view the other teams’ tower
designs. In the long run, making sure my idea was understood made us successful in building
our tower.
 Reading Concepts

The two concepts I have been using the most from the readings are from the book
Crucial Conversations​. I especially enjoyed reading this book as there is a lot of information
in it I have found useful. The two chapters that stand out the most are “Master My Stories”
and “Explore Others’ Paths”. I have found myself using the skills from these chapters not
only in crucial conversations but everyday life. The chapter “Master My Stories” is all about
controlling your emotions when in conversation. I have always been okay at controlling my
emotions in conversation, but my main issue is letting my emotions build up to the point
where I eventually let them take control. As stated in the reading, “When it comes to strong
emotions, you either find a way to master them or fall hostage to them” (Paterson 95). The
best way to be able to control your emotions is through the way you tell your own story on the
situation. The way you view the story changes how you feel. The importance of controlling
the story is expressed, “While it’s true that at first we are in control of the stories we tell –
after all, we do make them [stories] up of our own accord - once they’re told, the stories
control us” (Paterson 101). There are two types of stories that can be told, the first being
“Clever Stories”. These include vitim, villain, and helpless stories. They all lead to the fact
that these stories excuse us from responsibility and keep us from acknowledging that we acted
against our sense of what is right. It goes on to tell how to change these stories into actors,
humans, and the able stories. In general, it talks about being accountable when telling your
stories. I have been using these methods in group projects and everyday life. If I feel my
emotions start to take over, I take a step back and take a moment to ask myself some of the
questions listed, such as “Am I minimizing my role while exaggerating the role of
others?”.This usually makes me think more clearly and definitely allows for more productive
conversations.
The chapter “Explore Others’ Paths” I found very useful. If someone clams up or
blows up when talking with them, I used to get either irritated or blow up too. After reading
this chapter, I started to implement the tips that they suggested in the reading. The most
important thing is to get to the root of the issue instead of ignoring it. As stated, “Restoring
safety is your greatest hope to get your relationship back on track” (Paterson 142) and
“Getting to the source of fear and discomfort is the best way to return to dialogue” (Paterson
143-144). Getting to the source of the issue really comes down to being to able to listen to
them. When listening, you need to be careful as you don’t want them to clam up or blow up
again. He lists some specific techniques for doing this. The first is Ask, Mirror, Paraphrase,
and Prime. This is really useful for listening to the person and making them feel like you are
listening. The second is Agree, Build, and Compare. This is useful for comparing each others’
stories. I have used these techniques mostly in my everyday life when two of my roommates
get in a fight. It is really helpful for defusing the situation. However, this will be really helpful
in the future as dealing with these situations is important as they can not be just ignored.
Overall, I have learned a lot from reading ​Crucial Conversations​. I have learned many skills
that I will continue to use in personal situations and in the workplace.
 Big Dig Debate

For the Big Dig debate project we had in class, I was on the panelist team and I was
one of the researchers for our group. As panelists, our objective before the debate was to have
all the general knowledge on the topic. We looked at the costs of the project, newspaper
articles, and long term effects of the project. When it came to whether the project was a
success or not, we had to be impartial. We just wanted to have the knowledge to understand
the pros and cons team while they argued for their side, and to be able to ask them questions
to get better insight on the topic.
I was not the leader for this project, but I feel I would have been a good team leader.
As the leader, I would have mostly focused on research for the majority of our time in order
to have all the information and a strong understanding of the topic. Most of the team would be
researchers with one note taker to collect all the information. I would have had each
researcher focus on one subsection of the project. This way, we would have all the
information we needed. Some of the subsections would include budget and timing,
construction issues, benefits of the project, as well as injuries and damages. Having all the
information in these sub topics would give us insight on the overall project. After we had
conducted the research, I would have spent the last couple of minutes discussing the
information we had collected and figuring out what we still wanted to know about the project.
This would be when we would take the time to create questions for both the cons and pros
teams. The answer to these questions would hopefully persuade us towards one side or the
other. Overall, I was pretty happy with our team’s performance. Our group didn’t have to try
and win the argument, we just had to have a good idea of the topic and ask questions of both
sides. Our understanding was good and our questions were fairly strong, but we might have
improved our preparation of questions.
My biggest takeaway from the debate was from listening to the pro Big Dig team.
Going into the class, I felt very strongly that the project was a failure because they spent so
much money on a project that took way too long. However, the pro team was able to change
my mind by discussing the effect the project had on commuters in the city and the long term
benefits of it. In the end, I thought the Big Dig project was mismanaged, but still a success
because of the benefits now and in the future. They really focused on how it helps the people
in the city and I think that is what convinced the panelists. They showed me that people really
value the emotions of others as they were able to display that this project made many people
happy.

Conclusion

I have learned some significant lessons this semester. These lessons are ones I can use in
the future as a project manager and in everyday life. I learned the importance of making sure a
message is received from the selected quote. From the readings, I learned how to better
communicate with others when emotions are high. The Big Dig debate taught me how to use
emotions to help persuade people when arguing. I have learned a lot so far and plan to use the
skills I have learned in the future in both life and in work.
 Reference Page

Patterson, Kerry, et al. ​Crucial Conversations : Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High.​
Singapore, Mcgraw-Hill Education, 2012.