Guerrero 1

Andrea Guerrero

Dr. Guenzel

ENC1101 - 0024

2 Oct 2019

Paper 1 Final Draft

Inseparable

They were inseparable. She was head over heels for him and he was crazy about her.

They couldn’t stay away from each other. My parents look and are very different. My mom has

blonde hair, has a light tan, is Cuban and comes from a very loud happy family. She’s a very

caring person but knows when people are taking advantage and people just naturally like being

around her. My dad has a darker tan, has dark hair, is Puerto Rican, and comes from a very

talkative close-knit family. He is a hardheaded man who could never quite control his temper,

but he had the softest spot for her in his heart. Although they were different in various ways, they

were just able to make it work and have other people envy their love and relationship. They met

quite young and had their first child when she was 19 and he was 25. He soon got a tattoo of my

mom’s name and my name on his upper arm and was obsessed with it. They soon married and

had two other girls, Sabrina two years later and Maria seven years after her.

As I grew up with my sisters, we were very close despite our age differences. Sabrina

was my first best friend and I still consider her to be my best friend. She’s also very caring about

the people that mean the most to her and just a very sympathetic person overall. She still knows

how to stand up for herself and isn’t afraid to speak her mind. We tell each other everything and

will always have each other’s backs. Maria was born 9 after me so she’s still the baby of the

family. She usually is doing her own thing but will have to stay around one of us because she’s
 Guerrero 2

scared of being alone. She would be in my room every time our parents would argue so I could

keep her company. We eventually got used to the arguing because we knew they were both very

loud and intense in expressing their emotions. Being the older child, I tried to brush all this off to

keep a strong face for my sisters. If I were to let myself break, it wouldn’t make them feel secure

and I had to make them feel okay. Our parents argued worse than other parents, but because they

were able to reconcile fairly quickly afterwards, we never saw the ugly truth behind it. There

were never any long-term consequences, so we all continued to ignore the red flags.

At the beginning of 2018, a few months before he left, their fighting began to get worse.

At first it was in terms of intensity. They would scream a little louder, he would start saying

hurtful comments, she would spit back with comments that hurt just as much, and later it began

to affect their relationship. During their good moments, they were able to joke around and show

their affection for each other, but it was only short periods. Their constant bickering would add

fuel to the fire and was always just a heated argument waiting to happen. He started to storm out

on nights they would fight and come back in the morning. During a few occasions, he would

leave for a day at a time and sometimes we wouldn’t know if he would come back. When he

would leave, we would keep my mom company and hang out in her room with her to calm her

down and get her mind off of it. It came to a point where me and my sisters would say we

actually want them to split because what is the point if they can never be happy with each other

for more than a day? One night, he eventually stormed out after one of their worse arguments

and said the same thing he always says, “Don’t worry about me coming back guys,” so we didn’t

because he always came back. That day in April was the last day he lived in our house.

But he always came back. Just not to his kids. He was obsessed with my mom and

although he tries to act tough, he could never let go of her. In the beginning, he didn’t talk to my
 Guerrero 3

mom. We didn’t know where he was, and we didn’t know how long this would go on for. I had

already had enough with my dad and the way he acted so I focused on my mom and began to go

out with her more and spend more time with her in her room to distract her and give her

something to do. He eventually contacted my mom to try to get her back and the cycle began

again. It was as if the arguing was still present in the house, only this time we only heard my

mom’s voice. Every day we could hear my mom yelling her lungs out into her phone, proceeded

with her saying she doesn’t care and then crying to herself. I would know because she would

come into my room to just lay in my bed and calm down and sometimes talk to me about my dad

teary eyed. I couldn’t stand my dad’s behavior and what it would do to her. But she couldn’t just

get over him like that. He did many irrational things to still be involved in her life, such as, break

in to steal her clothes on two separate occasions so she wouldn’t be able to wear them out, track

her car so he knew when she was going on dates, which led to her having to borrow my car, and

even went as far as cutting the wires to her car so she wouldn’t be able to go on dates. After

many failed attempts to get my mom to believe his lies that he would change, he started to try to

get closer to her through me and my sisters.

He began to use the excuse to “see his children,” but would only tell us a quick “hi”

before going into the bedroom to be with my mom. I would talk to my mom about it and

sometimes we would fight because we couldn’t get on the same page about my dad. I just didn’t

want her to get hurt constantly and I didn’t want someone back in my life that wasn’t going to

make things better. We started being able to talk about my dad more calmly and I would tell her

how I viewed everything and that I only had her best interest at heart. My mom started noticing

what I meant and realizing that he was never going to change and try to be a good father and

husband. She repeatedly tried to cut him off, but he would continuously find some way to get to
 Guerrero 4

her and then try to get inside her head and convince her that she needs him. He broke in and stole

her clothes: leggings and bikinis, so she wouldn’t be able to wear them. We got an alarm system

and an extra lock. After everything that happened during the past year and a half, she would still

think of him. She would still get sad over him and would talk to us about how much she loves

and misses him. But, recently, my mom has finally picked herself up and isn’t letting herself get

treated the same way anymore. She’s starting to see other people and go out with her friends at

night and come back at four in the morning just because she can. I think my dad is noticing that

he’s losing her, and he does not like it at all. He still tries to put up the front that he doesn’t need

her but will still pine after her. My mom is realizing that as much as she loves him, she’s better

off without him and prefers her kids to keep her company.

Throughout this whole experience, I couldn’t understand so many things at first. Why

would my mom stay so attached to my dad if she’s constantly crying over him? Why does she

believe him when he sweet talks her when she knows that exhausting cycle is just going to

repeat? I hated seeing how much control he had over her, thinking my mom could easily leave

and not deal with him anymore. At times, I wanted the world to swallow me up so I wouldn’t

have to continue hurting for my mom. Seeing the woman who gave you everything be in so

much emotional pain takes a toll on you. I didn’t understand why my dad couldn’t change for

someone he claimed to be so in love with and for someone he shows he’s obsessed with to this

day. My dad made me realize that just because you love a person, doesn’t mean you can’t make

them hurt. Loving someone doesn’t fix everything but showing that love does and proving that

love can. My dad never understood that and lost my mom in the process of nurturing his ego. We

never wanted them to split up. I wish my dad stayed and changed so that they could have worked

their differences out. I wish my dad wanted to see his kids and not just his wife. I wish I didn’t
 Guerrero 5

have a deadbeat dad who makes me feel like shit because I don’t text first. I wish I was able to

see my dad and not hold any resentment towards him. But you end up getting what you need, not

what you want.

My mom and I are closer than ever before. We confide in each other our feelings, secrets,

and any topic we can think of. My sisters and I rely on each other for everything and we talk to

each other all the time about anything. We all go out more, spend more time with each other,

look forward to going to the beach or a restaurant with each other. I started taking on more

responsibilities to let my mom have some calm in her life. She’s able to go out until 4 in the

morning and have her middle child go to a party because I’m able to stay with the youngest at

home. She doesn’t have to worry about having to pay every bill herself because I have a job and

took on all the hours I could handle. She doesn’t have to worry about doing everything for her

daughters because she has me to rely on and be the second parent figure for her kids and my

siblings, and be the rock that my mom needs. She relies on us now more than ever as she slowly

gets through her toxic relationship. He’ll try to include himself in her life because he senses her

cutting him out, but she’s learned to leave the topic alone and not let it take control of her life.

Although, I feel as if I’ve had to grow up faster and take on more responsibilities than most, it’s

all worth it if it helps my mom. Her and I are inseparable now.