Lee 1

Ryan Lee

Jung Soo Lee

Writing 39C

1 November 2019

FOMO: A Discrepancy Between the Real and the Fabricated

Cyberspace is undoubtedly among the most influential of "spaces" that people

collectively facilitate the existence of. In it are many subspaces, with social media arguably

being the most prominent. Social media's intended purpose is to allow users to always be in

touch with their friends through viewing their posts, maintaining relationships no matter the

distance. However, from social media stems an ever-growing social issue-FOMO. FOMO (Fear

of Missing Out) is anxiety resulting from people worrying that they are missing out on social

activities that their peers engage in. This anxiety causes people to compare their social lives to

those of others, often resulting in perceived social inadequacy due to the negative thoughts a

person develops about themself. The issue of FOMO is caused by social media users' ability to

manage an online avatar, a representation of themselves that is created with the intention of

making their life seem more eventful and fun than it actually is. Due to a user's constant

inundation of these avatars, their self-image deteriorates as they compare their lives to these false

depictions of others and subsequently perceive themselves as being socially inadequate. As these

feelings increase in a person, they withdraw from their friends and family because they feel they

cannot meet the standards and expectations of them. Withdrawal from family and friends

deprives these people of the authentic social relationships they need, and takes away their means

of social support, leaving them to the whims of their negative self-image. Despite social media's
 Lee 2

ability to bring people closer together through constant connectivity, it often does the opposite,

facilitating feelings of depression and social isolation due to feelings of FOMO. By increasingly

isolating its users from family and friends, due to feelings of inadequacy due to carefully crafted

avatars, FOMO steadily ushers in a new era of social ineptitude and anxiety, contradicting the

core values society was founded upon.

Though the term FOMO was created in the early 2000s, on a conceptual level, it has

existed since long before. Parallels can be drawn throughout history between FOMO and a desire

to match the standards established by a person's peers. Joseph Reagle draws connections between

FOMO and the early twentieth century comic "Keeping Up With the Joneses" by Arthur Moman

(1). The comic strip focuses on a family that experiences perpetual annoyance at their

neighbors-The Joneses-for always having something they want. The Jones family's indulgence in

fads creates for them an avatar of being hip and trendy, much to the envy and frustration of their

neighbors. Though the comic strip takes a humorous approach to the concept, it holds a great

deal of similarities to the relationship between social media users and the avatars they are

presented with. For example, a social media user could frequently post pictures from parties they

are invited to, which creates an avatar based on a social and fun lifestyle. Though they may post

these pictures, they do not post the mundane or negative occurrences in their lives, presenting an

inaccurate depiction of their lives. Instances like this have only increased in occurrence, which is

why the expression "keeping up with the Joneses" is still used today.

With the ever-expanding focus on media consumption in culture, social media usage

increases daily. Research studies have found a positive correlation between increased time spent

on social media sites and heightened experiences of FOMO (Sarah Buglass, Jens Binder, Lucy
 Lee 3

Betts, Jean Underwood, 6). Their extensive survey study measured levels of FOMO and

self-esteem through cross-sectional analysis, structural equation modeling, and longitudinal

analysis and presented this correlation. This suggests the issue of FOMO has the potential to

become more widespread, as social media usage will likely increase over time.1

FOMO's widespread influence will likely be felt by many, as the creators of social media

utilize this to their platform's benefit. Jenna Wortham contends that "Social software is both the

creator and the cure for FOMO" (1). What she means is that a person derives satisfaction from

creating an online avatar of themself that presents a fun and fulfilling social life, while

simultaneously having this sense of satisfaction lowered due to seeing other avatars present their

fun activities. This creates a cycle of FOMO within individuals and society as a whole. Within

individuals, FOMO causes social withdrawal due to a fear of not being able to meet the standards

and expectations of peers. This causes them to resort to social media for social satisfaction,

which worsens feelings of FOMO as they continue to see others post pictures from their

carefully calculated depictions of their lives. In society, this issue becomes a cycle as more and

more users unknowingly create FOMO in others through posting to improve their self-image

while simultaneously experiencing it when viewing the avatars of others. Hallie Reed

contextualizes these emotional experiences with anecdotes of social exclusion and the

subsequent feelings she felt from this. Rather than allow negative feelings overpower her sense

of self, she cites advice from Philip Galanes-an advisor for The Time's Social Q's-on how to

counter FOMO (1). The most effective piece of advice he offers is simply for a person to put

1
​FOMO
often results in symptoms of depression, feelings of isolation, social anxiety, and
withdrawal among affected people.
 Lee 4

away their phone and take a break from social media's deluge of sensationalized depictions of

peoples' lives. Though not an innovative piece of advice, it remains true, as research links social

media use to feelings of FOMO, making the logical solution to FOMO to eliminate the usage of

social media.

Though FOMO is caused by frequent exposure to social media wherein other users depict

themselves leading exciting and fun lives, it is not merely a teenage response to perceived social

inadequacy. It is a psychological response to a distressing emotion with roots in the self

determination theory. Self determination theory comprises of three components-autonomy,

competence, and relatedness-all of which need fulfillment in order for a person to be motivated

and partake in life's activities. In this context, we focus on a person's sense of relatedness, as a

lack of satisfaction in this area can lead to less motivation and desire to engage socially, resulting

in symptoms of FOMO. Research has indicated that "individuals who evidenced less satisfaction

of the basic psychological needs for[...]relatedness (connectedness to others) also reported higher

levels of FoMO" (Andrew Przybylski, Kou Murayama, Cody DeHaan, Valerie Gladwell, 5).

From this research it is apparent that a lack of social relationships elicits a natural human

response of apathy due to these challenges to a person's sense of self. Because a person's sense of

self is rooted in their interactions with others, the social inadequacy they perceive themselves to

have directly results in a threat to their own sense of identity. Once this is compromised, the

ability to counter the source of the problem through high quality social interaction is inhibited,

and a person becomes withdrawn. Though said person feels withdrawn, the desire for social

interaction still remains, causing a person to continue use of social media as a last resort for
 Lee 5

social interaction. This in turn exacerbates their problems and contributes to a worsening cycle of

the feelings of FOMO within a person.

The response of a person exhibiting symptoms of FOMO to use social media as a means

of compensation for a poor social life is supported by the hypothesized model below that

illustrates the causes and effects of FOMO.

The study focuses on problematic Facebook use in relation to six hypotheses. In this context,

hypotheses one and three (a & c) are most relevant; hypothesis one states that "FoMO will be

positively related to PFU [Problematic Facebook use] severity", and hypotheses 3a & 3c state

that "FoMO will account for relationships between depression severity (3a)[...]and life

satisfaction (3c) with PFU severity."2 The results of their study supported both hypotheses;

2
In the study, hypotheses 1, 3a, and 3c address aspects of FOMO relating to heightened social media
usage, depression, and life satisfaction. Hypothesis 1 focuses on FOMO and social media usage,
while 3a and 3c consider the consequences of FOMO, being depression and life satisfaction.
 Lee 6

"FoMO was positively related to levels of PFU", and "FoMO mediated relations between levels

of social anxiety and PFU" (Abigail Dempsey, Kelsey O'Brien, Mojisola Tiamiyu, Jon Elhai 2,

3). As seen in the above, the hypothesized model does refer to social anxiety and problematic

Facebook use to hypotheses three and five. Furthermore, it hypothesizes that rumination,

depression, social anxiety, and decreased life satisfaction, and Facebook use frequency are

intertwined with each other and FOMO, resulting in problematic Facebook use. Though not all

of the initial hypotheses were accepted by Dempsey and her research team, the connection

between these responses to social dissatisfaction strongly suggests that the symptoms of FOMO

manifests in rumination, increased social media use, and FOMO itself, resulting in excessive

social media usage. This in turn, is linked to how FOMO causes users to more frequently use

social media as compensation for their perceived social status, further facilitating the worsening

cycle that FOMO creates in its victims.

FOMO's severity is largely due to it isolating people from their support groups (i.e.

friends and family). As stated previously, feelings of inadequacy cause withdrawal from the very

social relationships they desperately need. Research studies show that support from family helps

mediate feelings of FOMO, however even in close and communicative families, feelings of

FOMO can prevail with daily usage of social media (Lindsay Favotto, Valerie Michaelson,

William Pickett, Colleen Davidson 9). This is because even in families of positive

communication, daily usage of social media cuts back on the amount of time spent interacting

with family which allows feelings of loneliness to grow in users. The study also linked families

with low quality communication to even heightened feelings of loneliness in social media users,
 Lee 7

as they have less of a support group.3 A lack of family communication deprives adolescents of

the ability to confide their feelings and receive insight on their situation. For example, a family

with high quality communication would be able to comfort an unhappy adolescent and inform

them that social media avatars do not accurately depict the lives of the people behind them.

Critical advice such as this is key to adolescents not perceiving themselves to be socially

inadequate when compared to their peers. When adolescents are not prone to negative

perceptions of themselves, the root cause of FOMO is gone which prevents them from

experiencing it.

Overall, the ability of social media users to create avatars that glorify themselves

contributes to an increasingly problematic cycle of FOMO. Due to a user's self-perceived social

inadequacy, they withdraw from friends and family due to fear of not meeting their standards. By

cutting their ties with their support groups, victims of FOMO resort to social media to

compensate for their lack of social interaction, further worsening the problem and contributing to

a cycle of FOMO that affects all users regardless of their avatar's depiction of their life. With

more people experiencing social withdrawal, society as a whole loses its forms of support and

becomes increasingly isolated from itself. This gradually contributes to an overall debilitated

society that faces both the physical and mental consequences of isolation, presenting a pressing

social issue that should promptly be acknowledged and countered. Informing people of the fact

that social media is not an accurate representation of a person's life would be a good way to start

solving the problem, but a better method to counter FOMO would be to limit social media use

3
​Though the study does not account for the socioeconomic influences relating to FOMO, it does
addresses the critical aspect of family mediation of FOMO, making it an important-albeit
incomplete-piece of evidence.
 Lee 8

altogether. Though easier said than done, the benefits of limiting social media use would

drastically outweigh FOMO and the other side effects of frequent social media usage. This

would allow people to reconnect with not only their friends and family, but with reality itself,

allowing them to redirect their attention to other issues in society.

 Lee 9

Works Cited

Buglass, Sarah L., et al. “Motivators of Online Vulnerability: The Impact of Social

Network Site Use and FOMO.” Computers in Human Behavior, vol. 66, 2017, pp.

248–255.,

doi:10.1016/j.chb.2016.09.055.

Dempsey, Abigail E., et al. “Fear of Missing out (FoMO) and Rumination Mediate Relations

between Social Anxiety and Problematic Facebook Use.” Addictive Behaviors Reports,

vol. 9, 2019, p. 100150.,

doi:10.1016/j.abrep.2018.100150.

Dempsey, Abigail E., et al. “Hypothesized Model of Causes and Effects of Problematic

Facebook Use.” Fear of Missing out (FoMO) and Rumination Mediate Relations between

Social Anxiety and Problematic Facebook Use, Elsevier, June 2019,

www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S235285321830169X?via%3Dihub.

Favotto, Lindsay, et al. “The Role of Family and Computer-Mediated Communication in

Adolescent Loneliness.” Plos One, vol. 14, no. 6, 2019,

doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0214617.

Przybylski, Andrew K., et al. “Motivational, Emotional, and Behavioral Correlates of Fear

of Missing Out.” Computers in Human Behavior, vol. 29, no. 4, 2013, pp. 1841–1848.,

doi:10.1016/j.chb.2013.02.014.

Reagle, Joseph. “Following the Joneses: FOMO and Conspicuous Sociality.” First Monday, vol.

20, no. 10, 2015,

doi:10.5210/fm.v20i10.6064.
 Lee 10

Reed, Hallie. “They Left Me Out, and I Saw It All.” The New York Times, The New York

Times, 27 Feb. 2019,

www.nytimes.com/2019/02/27/style/the-edit-fomo-left-out.html.

Wortham, Jenna. “Feel Like a Wallflower? Maybe It's Your Facebook Wall.” The New York

Times, The New York Times, 9 Apr. 2011,

www.nytimes.com/2011/04/10/business/10ping.html.