Alvarado 1

Damaris Alvarado

Professor Batty

English 101

13 December 2019

Revised Essay 1 Reflection

There were many improvements that I had to make in this essay. Starting with the title

that I chose, which was a bit misleading. The title that I originally chose was “Undocumented

Latinx Students” and that title does not really specify what I was talking about throughout the

essay. I then changed it to “Struggles That Undocumented Latinx Students Face in Education”. I

wanted to focus on how in k-12 education there aren’t any counselors designated to inform or

guide undocumented students. This was difficult because I could only find about one or two

studies or credible sources that focused on that problem. This led me to also focus and dedicate

a lot of time on my paragraphs on other things.

This was why I also received a comment that mentioned that I am spending way too

much time talking about DACA. In my revision, I tried to avoid spending a lot of time talking

about DACA, so I decided to keep looking up articles and databases some sources that would

help me back up my point, but I just found myself in the same loophole of not necessarily

finding credible evidence that will support my ideas. The evidence that I did find accurate

mentioned DACA many times. I also had to be more direct with my thesis in terms of what I am

arguing. In my revision, I worked on constructing a fully-developed thesis and incorporating that

in my introductory paragraph, while also stating points of why I think my point is valid in order
 Alvarado 2

to answer the “So what?” question that I was also told I needed to go a bit more in-depth. I also

added the counterargument in my thesis to acknowledge it. Overall revising my essay was

extremely helpful because revisiting it after a while, I found myself reading through some

paragraphs that did not make sense to me. I did not have much experience with creating a works

cited page and after receiving the feedback I realized that my sources were not alphabetized,

which I also fixed in my revision.