A Modest Group Project: A Satire

By Alexis Maxwell

Lone Star College-Kingwood students

(Left to right) Rachel Byrd, Cassandra
Lyles, and Alex Maxwell pose for
photo in LSC-Kingwood's Classroom
Building B room 104. The students
depict the life draining effect of a
group project on college students in
high stress times such as finals or
midterms. Photo by Cara Young

Group projects can either be the best part of a semester, or the bane of everyone’s existence, including
mine. There is a way to combat social loafing though, and it is called “Rely only on yourself.”

Let’s face it, you can exchange numbers, see each other in class, text each other that “Hey, that group
project is due in a week, maybe we should get together and do it,” but what comes out of that?

Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Radio silence.

Those other group members might as well be dead, because the odds of them stepping in to help are just
about as good as resurrecting someone.

So here is an easy five step plan for you to get a group project done in an orderly manner.

Step One: Ask group mates for their numbers. Send a text, but only receive a reply on the morning it is due,
asking if anyone did the project.

Step Two: Create a step by step plan on how you are going to do work meant for several students in time
limit given to you.

Step Three: Burn the plan, because you can do it tomorrow… or the next day.

Step Four: Forget the project’s due date until the professor reminds you the day before about the
assignment.

Step Five: Spend all day, all night, get maybe thirty minutes of sleep and accept defeat, because next
semester you’re probably going to have two of these.

For actual advice on how to approach a group projects please contact your professor.

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