Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Attachment
Attachment
You’re An Introvert
If you're kind of a private (read: mildly antisocial) person, then you know the pain and agony
that is a party, get-together, or networking event. Without a doubt, you'd much rather stay home,
read a good book, and remain quietly introspective. But like it or not, such events will happen.
Of course this is way easier said than done. If you're an introvert, being social can feel like quite
the insurmountable task. Where other people seem to gain energy from parties and outings, you
only seem to withstand them (at best). You might even feel totally drained afterward, as if you
had just been through some sort of horrible experience (instead of something lighthearted and
"An introvert generally 1) feels comfortable being on their own, 2) is seen as reflective or
reserved, 3) prefers to know a few people well," says Kim Chronister, Psy.D., in an email to
Bustle. Cue those nights alone with a book, or maybe a coffee date with a very good friend.
While it's totally fine to prefer your own company, it will be occasionally necessary to head off
to a wedding, or show up at the office holiday party. When that's the case, never fear — there are
things you can do to make socializing easier. Here are a few of those tips.
1. Try Going Out When You Don't Want To
If you're introvert, it can feel mighty tempting to decline every invitation from here on out. And
of course you can do this, forever and ever. But it's not a healthy to be that reclusive, especially if
you're only giving in to anxiety. As Chronister says, "The remedy for ridding oneself of anxiety
is exposure. One simply needs to do what is uncomfortable over and over again until the
nervousness mitigates. Go to the meet-up even if you are anxious, accept the next invite, and
repeat."
Before you get to the party, tuck some conversation starters in the back part of your brain. Think
topical news, the book you're reading — anything you can chat about easily. "Coming armed
with some small talk starters/ extenders will make your life a lot more pleasant," said Jessica
It may sound cheesy, but giving yourself some goals for the evening can help you stride off with
purpose. "Are you going out to network for your career? Give yourself a socialization quota,"
suggested Eric Ravenscraft on Lifehacker.com. And don't go home until it's met.
Remember what I said about feeling drained? You may be the most charismatic person around,
but as an introvert social outings leave you feeling drained. To combat this, be sure to charge
your proverbial batteries before going to the event. "And while you're at it, plan to give yourself
some space to unwind after the party and before you have to rejoin the social world," Stillman
suggested.
Unlike extroverts, you're going to need to slip away for a bit of peace. "When you first arrive,
scout out a place that you can retreat to if you need a moment. It can be a patio, a kitchen, a
bathroom, or even just your car," said Ravenscraft. It's totally OK to have a moment of escape, if
If you have social anxiety, then you may find yourself talking blanking while you talk. But don't
let it freak you out. "If you find yourself drawing a blank mid-conversation, try paraphrasing,"
said Katherine Schreiber on Greatist.com. It can help get the chat back on track.
"Struggle with small talk? Leverage your clothing and accessories to help," said Stillman. All it
takes is a statement bracelet, or a really weird necklace, to give people something to chat about.
And you can turn the tables, of course. Casually compliment someone's shirt, or their cool
Research has shown that it can help to act extroverted, even if you're introverted, according to
Schreiber. It likely works due to positive social feedback (i.e., people finding you ridiculously
charming, and it thus egging you on). So smile, walk to the center of the room, and shake
people's hands. It may just start to rub off.
Got nothin' to do and no one to talk to? Then busy yourself with helping the host. Not only will
he or she greatly appreciate it, but you'll be given something to do — like pouring drinks, or
Partner up with an understanding friend, and let them lead the way into groups of people. "Let
your friend start conversations with someone you don't know, then offer your input as they
discuss," Ravenscraft said. "You can easily sneak into conversations this way."
Menurut saya, cara ini merupakan salah satu cara yang ampuh untuk dilakukan oleh orang-orang
introvert. Karena orang introvert susah untuk memulai suatu perbincangan kepada orang banyak,
maka dengan cara ini mereka bisa memulai untuk mencari satu teman yang dirasa cocok
dengannya, kemudian mulai melalukan perbincangan ringan kepada teman tersebut yang dapat
membuat ia lama kelamaan akan terbiasa dan merasa nyaman dengan hal tersebut. Dan barulah
selanjutnya ia bisa dengan mudah untuk ikut berkumpul dengan teman2 lain melalui relasi dari
be able to leave when your social energy reserves are depleted," Stillman said. Drive yourself
there so you can drive yourself home. Or be ready and armed with Uber, so you can peace out
Then go home and congratulate yourself on being social. You did it! And it will only get easier