#1.

Nature Succumbs To The Will Of Brian Blessed

Stuart C. Wilson/Getty Images

Brian Blessed is best remembered for his role as Prince Vultan in 1980's Flash Gordon, and not
for the fact that, at 67, he became the oldest man to reach an altitude of 28,000 feet without
supplemental oxygen. It's a feat that, until relatively recently, scientists didn't think was possible
for anyone, let alone someone who can get a senior discount at the goddamned Sizzler.

Brian Blessed
"Oxygen? You mean failure gas?"

Though his attempts to summit Everest have been thus far unsuccessful, due to factors beyond
his control, such as uncooperative weather and comrades with less impressive beards than his
own, Blessed has conquered peaks like Aconcagua and Kilimanjaro at an age when most people
fail to conquer stairs. He's also the oldest man to ever reach the North Magnetic Pole on foot,
which he accomplished by walking to the North Magnetic Pole on his fucking feet, punching his
way through polar bears and dreadful weather alike. That's right: Blessed says that when a polar
bear nosed its way into his tent one night, he punched the apex predator right in the face, causing
it to withdraw so he could get some damn sleep already.

When you consider that the man has survived plane crashes over the remote jungles of
Venezuela, and once collapsed onstage while performing King Lear when his heart momentarily
gave out on him -- only to shake it off and finish the play -- we're inclined to believe him.
 Guildford Shakespeare Company
"How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is-"
*heart pauses*
"-to have a thankless child!"

At the time of this writing, Brian Blessed is 80 years old and still walks among us mere mortals,
because who's going to tell him to quit? God? Not before Blessed has conquered the Mariana
Trench, he won't.