Social and separation anxiety is regarded as a normal part of childhood development and it is very common for

children to feel anxious about new experiences, such as moving home or going to nursery.

Separation Anxiety

The way in which children adjust to new settings varies enormously. Some children appear to glide effortlessly into
their new environment, while others, especially younger children, show signs of great anxiety when the time
comes for their parents to leave. To help support children during the settling-in period, early years practitioners
need to understand the importance of attachments in young children's lives.

Educators can help children with separation anxiety by:

• Behaving in a calm and confident manner, distracting an upset child with an interesting activity and supporting
the parent to leave.
• Having a designated key worker that is responsible for meeting and greeting the same child each morning, as
well as observing development and progress is considered good practice.
• Allowing the child to keep a familiar object, such as a teddy or blankie to snuggle for comfort is also a highly
effective way of reassuring a child with separation anxiety.

Social anxiety

All children are different, some are naturally much more confident than others, and quiet children do not
necessarily need any help or intervention

Parents often can feel helpless when they see their child experiencing intense fear or worry. There may be a
temptation to simply remove the child from all situations that prompt this anxiety or to over accommodate for
their child’s fear. These actions only make a child more sensitive to these environments. Parents can validate the
child’s feelings but also model calmness and confidence that their child is going to be okay and can master scary
situations

Also, because children are most anxious leading up to a challenging situation, it’s important for parents not to ask
too many questions about the anxiety. Remember, as a parent, it’s not your goal to eliminate all anxiety from your
child’s life. Your job is to help your child learn to manage anxiety effectively so that they can deal with life’s
challenges long into adulthood

Anxiety is inevitable in life, but no child should have to feel stuck with it. You can help a child with social anxiety by:

• Taking care not to reinforce the behavior by labelling the child the child as being shy. Invent role play
scenarios and games that involve modelling successful social interactions, such as eye contact, saying
please and thank you clearly, hello and goodbye greetings, and turn taking during a conversation.
• Gently encourage the child to join in new activities.
• Acknowledge fears and talk about them together. Common fears in early years include trees, strangers,
dogs, and the dark.
• Use books or writing your own social stories.
• Helping them learn the skills of joining playground games, waiting for a turn, introducing themselves and
asking if they can join in and resilience.
• Identify the nature of your child's shyness. Children are shy in different ways for different reasons.
Understanding the nature of your child's shyness will help you develop a program geared towards your
child's specific needs. Is your child shy in groups? At parties?
• Role model confident social behavior. Children learn by watching the people around them. Role model
taking risks and learning from them

Do . . .

• Go first in social situations. Be the first person to say "Hi," to introduce yourself or to strike up
conversations.
• Be friendly. Routinely smile, say high and greet the people you see as you go through your day.
• Compliment others often.

• Don't . . .
• Cross the street to avoid people you are too nervous to see.
• Embarrass your child in public.
• Criticize people in public.
• Berate yourself for having failed when you try things and they don't turn out the way you would like.
• Berate your children when they make a mistake.
• Start by modeling little things for your children like opening doors for other people when
you go to the store or into restaurants.
• Take advantage of opportunities to practice being assertive in front of your children by asking how much
longer it will be before you're seated at restaurants or asking sales clerks how an appliance works.
• Make an extra effort to practice social skills with your children at home . There's a good chance that
teaching handshakes, introductions and conversation skills to your children will enhance your skills as
well.
• Fortunately, role modeling social skills for your children--even if they're in the privacy of
your own home-- can help your child improve his/her social skills and is likely to improve
yours, as well.
• Teach social skills early.
• Arrange play dates for your children when they are young and seek out safe places for your children to
interact with others and practice social skills as they get older