Alex Ilusorio

Mrs. Storer

English 3 Honors, Block 4

26 November 2019

A Child’s Necessity For Therapy

Have you ever witnessed someone suffer at a young age? Have you ever experienced any

negative or overwhelming experiences in your childhood? If so, this is considered, childhood

trauma, which is when a child encounters and recalls an event that destroyed their human soul.

This is significant because no one seems to recognize or understand a child’s perspective in a

situation of trauma. As of 2015, over two thirds of children have dealt with traumatic

experiences which leaves emotional, physical, and mental effects that can be unnoticeable

(Walsh). Children need more attention when situations like these happen, and one way this can

be achieved is through improved therapy. Therapy has been an ongoing system for centuries, but

it should be more accessible to children because it helps children reconstruct confidence, create

healthier habits, and strengthen familial relationships.

Therapy has existed for centuries, and it has exceeded in boosting self-confidence into

individuals including myself. Life was smooth and nothing horrendous was disturbing me until I

experienced childhood trauma at seven years old. I was living in the Philippines when one day

everything seemed off. I arrived home when the apartment was quiet and abandoned, as if no one

lived in it. No one was to be found, but as the young and reckless kid I was, I did not believe that

it mattered. “It is only one day” I thought. Minutes later, my mom entered the living room from

her room in tears. She told me, “Alex, we are going to be moving to California. There is a lot of
family that lives there”. I had no idea what was going on, so my mom had to take a different

approach to the situation; one that was going to make better sense to a third grader. She spoke

about how beautiful and wonderful California is, but then I asked, “Why?” To avoid hurting my

heart and breaking my family apart, she told me that my dad did not need to work in the

Philippines much longer. So many questioned rushed through my mind such as “Where will I

live?”, “Where will I go to school?”. Apparently, my dad was still going to stay in the

Philippines for the rest of the month to finish work. I was devastated that he was not going to

move in with us right away, but my mom reassured me that everything will be okay. Once I was

in the airplane, the plane smelled terrible, I could not fall asleep, and my sister threw up. These

were the first signs that moving into California was not a smart idea. Once I moved in with my

grandparents, their house was too small for my family. There was an old white couch, stained

carpet, and a dirty table. I had to sleep on a bunk bed that I shared with my mom. I slept in this

situation for over a year, wondering why I moved into a house like this. Making these

adjustments were difficult and I began to miss my dad because I always felt something was

missing. One day, mom took my sisters and I to therapy, and this is where my mom finally broke

down and gave us all the information. She explained how our dad did not love her anymore and

that she moved here to protect us and give us support from family and therapy. As it turns out,

therapy was key to boosting my confidence. Every week for almost a year, I was able to have

deep discussions regarding moving forward with my life as well as being able to play with potato

heads. Keeping myself engaged in fun activities while the sadness endured inside my body

helped take the pain away. This allowed me to turn my focus towards life at a new school, where

I fortunately made friends quickly and fit in perfectly. Therapy helps kids like me overcome the

rough experiences and gain confidence in what I need to do to make my life joyful again.
 People may say that therapy does not work because they have already tried seeking for

help, yet therapists have different personalities because they are humans as well. This means that

some therapists, rather than helping improve confidence, can help create healthier habits for

children. In a research paper summarizing the link between traumatic experiences and violence,

results state that “Research strongly suggests, however, that for some people traumatic

experiences are directly related to future perpetration of violence” (Neller and Fabian). Although

most people do commit in any act of violence after trauma, there are still a few who may

strongly impact others. In addition to this, an estimated number of thirty-five million children in

the U.S have experienced some type of trauma in 2013 (Stevens). If there are many kids who are

experiencing traumatic experiences, there is a slight chance that some may partake in violent

crimes as they get older. Involved in violence at a young age is dangerous to not only them alone

but for those who may care for that person. This can be prevented because children will be able

to learn proper habits that benefit them through cognitive behavioral therapy. Cognitive

behavioral therapy “is a problem-specific, goal-oriented approach that needs the individual's

active involvement to succeed. It focuses on their present-day challenges, thoughts, and

behaviors” (Davis). At a young age, achieving day to day goals creates habits that enables kids to

continue desiring to do good. Even if it may take time to develop these skills, the therapist’s goal

is to help you get there while you may be experiencing past trauma or a current problem in your

life.

Lastly, introducing better therapy towards children helps increase the bond between

families who may be dealing with relationship issues. Relationship issues between your family

occur mostly through a divorce. The rate of a divorce has been claimed to decrease over the past

40 years, yet 42-45% of married couples in America still become divorced after the first
marriage. In addition, “High conflict parents during divorce results in children experiencing

more difficulty adjusting to post-life divorce” (McKinley Irvin). Without the efficient help

children need in familial events such as a divorce, they are left with nobody to trust and they

have no place to go. How will a child live on their own? Different processes in the brain are not

highly developed and it takes decades until the brain can fully mature (Johnson). Thus, the

mindset of a child is not prepared for such dramatic events to occur. Delaying the attempt to

resolve this problem also establishes a difficulty in which one can fix his or her broken

relationship. Therefore, family therapy becomes a necessity for children in these situations.

Family therapy is beneficial towards a child and their parent/guardian because it “develops and

maintains healthy boundaries, fosters cohesion and communication among family members,

promotes problem solving through understanding of family patterns and dynamics, builds

empathy and understanding, and reduces family conflict” (King). With all these factors, the

relationship between a parent and child is rebuilt and extends to proportions that neither the child

nor the parent expected, which is considered true love. Some people believe that no benefits exist

from therapy, but studies show that 74% of clients reported positive improvements with their

relationship with children because of family therapy (Advanced Solutions International).

Children are deeply traumatized by familial situations, yet therapy has shown to be an excellent

source of help and guidance.

The population of the world is increasing, which means more children are being born

every day. With this number rising, imagine the increase in childhood trauma. Although there are

many types of therapy for certain situations – which provides the assistance and support a child

needs in order to rebuild their life – therapy needs to be more available towards a younger

audience. This is because therapy for a child helps regain confidence, establish positive patterns
of daily routine, and love which is built upon an improved familial relationship. Even if they are

young and may not understand the situation right away, it is better for a child to receive therapy

rather than none. Leaving them in neglect and in the dark allows other influences to enter the

mind that leads them away from truth and love and towards sadness and anger. How would you

feel if you saw a child left in confusion? Are they just ignored and left with their own mind to

figure out what is going on? Therapy is a sign of hope for those who struggle, and it is just the

beginning towards regrowth and happiness.

Works Cited

Advanced Solutions International, Inc. “About Marriage and Family Therapists.” About

Marriage and Family Therapists,

www.aamft.org/About_AAMFT/About_Marriage_and_Family_Therapists.aspx.

Johnson, Stephen. “Why Is 18 the Age of Adulthood If the Brain Can Take 30 Years to Mature?”

Big Think, Big Think, 12 Sept. 2019, bigthink.com/mind-brain/adult-brain.

Kathleen Davis, FNP. “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: How Does CBT Work?” Medical News

Today, MediLexicon International, 25 Sept. 2018,

www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/296579.php#what-is-cbt.

King, Laney Cline. “What Is Family Therapy?” HealthyPsych.com, 23 Nov. 2019,

healthypsych.com/family-therapy/.

Lynne.walsh. “Understanding Child Trauma.” SAMHSA, 19 Dec. 2017, www.samhsa.gov/child-

trauma/understanding-child-trauma.
McKinley Irvin. “32 Shocking Divorce Statistics.” McKinley Irvin, 7 Nov. 2019,

www.mckinleyirvin.com/family-law-blog/2012/october/32-shocking-divorce-statistics/.

Neller, Daniel J, and John Matthew Fabian. Trauma and Its Contribution to Violent Behaviour.

www.crimeandjustice.org.uk/sites/crimeandjustice.org.uk/files/09627250608553387.pdf.

Stevens, Jane Ellen. “Nearly 35 Million U.S. Children Have Experienced One or More Types of

Childhood Trauma.” ACEs Too High, 25 Apr. 2017, acestoohigh.com/2013/05/13/nearly-

35-million-u-s-children-have-experienced-one-or-more-types-of-childhood-trauma/.

“What Is Family Therapy?” HealthyPsych.com, 23 Nov. 2019, healthypsych.com/family-

therapy/.