The American | Way of Death Revisited JESSICA MITFORDNot Selling one‘Tue Awenican Way of Death Revisirep ‘9, has a cremation rate of about tree times that ofthe national vseage. And hereby hang tl for while the seminar topics could have Bt handy into any trademeeing agends—"Maitaning an fective Workforce,” "Responding ro Community Trends,” "Beer Public Relations" ek.—ehe subtext of many a speech wae bow extrac maximum prof from cremation. ‘We gathered in the Tiburon Lode meeting hall ovelooking a ‘huge swimming. pool 4 congeisl WASPch crowd conssting of forty-four fineral directors fom aud the county, five presidents of canker company ew insurance men, the president of Dina Airbrash Systems, and various spouses ‘Welcoming the group, our host—Ron Hast—glamly mentioned thar there had ben plenty of rors abour my presence tthe se ‘at not the lee of which was 3 sate funeral dietons association execs die theat to have his member eal thee sbscrpions to Mornary Management ‘The audience wa soon put a eate bythe fst speaker, perhaps spcopcately from the word ofbigbusinesJohn Bake sry yom formes manage ofa United Airlines subsidiary with a staf of one thoutand esponuible forall employee programs. His subjecs "How to Maintsin an Efenive Workforce,” which he atacked cow bro, ‘with mach flley banter and down-home humor. His fst question {othe audience estibisbed the one: "Who's minding the sore when | you're away?” Someone answered, "My wife” "Are you sure you an rust her? Gales of laughter And “Be sre roche with your ‘ustomex” “Bat our estomers don't talk” upped asker manu facture: mock ila. The rest of his perch was exceptional, about a Motivation rudy he hed conducted to find out what employees ale mor aboot ‘hei jobs. He assured us hat ob security, wages, and fringe benefits teams far down on the lie, Fst and foremo mere Appreiton, Tchision, Bing Par ofa Team, "People want tobe touche, loved, hugged,” said Me Baker. "Lots of touckyfe! You cxa buy toy singers, thze for 99 cets—pive one toa worthy employee! Purhis| ‘ame ine frm newslete! Give them balloons—people are mad for Je nvite der toa taf meeting...” (Our nex speaker, Tom Fisher, was a man of many parts: regular feature wate for Mortuary Management, ownerdicecor of Nort Not Selling Dakota funeral home, anda we lest from his opening ematks, a longtime, much admied radio and TV personaly i hi home sae. “Tm known as Dakots Tom,” hetold us. Speaking in the sonorous tones of hit callings he-evaced poignant nostalgia for pst lores: "My vation in feral services began at atime when the Golden Age of thi proetion was coming to an ends” he sid. “Funeral practioners who broupi sophia tion, expaasion and acceptance of mortuary services, goods, and feuipment tothe ational marketplace wete no mores With tee passing the one of profesional menopause tok pac. Isolation fam, eléprotectiveinsalation from outside forcethese were the aries encouraged by indsty leadership.” Asan Outside Force, | shifted uncomfortably in my chara the thought of having caused a profesional menopause, But Deka Tom now launched ino his moe theme: he lesions he had lead from his radio and TV career “Basclly this gave ine nig ‘opporanty The rewards were immeasurable in terms of experince ‘because radiotlevision accorded ne the chaace to appreciate the fall extent ofthe power of media image-making. Hee ithe pot make to you. We, 25 funeral directors and suppl, have al ade of problems on our respective plates thes day but Lam her ttl you ‘he greats ofthese i base in out lack of identity and image. The public we serve—those consumers we matket—area'tbuyise into ‘ur programming. When we wines 3 high-profile fanecal on tele sion it warms our hears, Those occasions are ot fequens enough in their currence wo build consumer ma” The solution, he eliees, is for funeral directors and suppliers to “scrap the present inefficient ‘marketing. methods,” pool the resources, and produce Rfen- to thiry-second comers Which “could be delivered by a respected, eengized spokesperson such 33 a Loyd Bridges ype." The commeccil ould “aim the personel. fy ofthe industry. They shoud speak of memoraliatio, che reson for American funeral service. We could finally become the profes sionals we want to be and shoald be.” Ideal network prossams for these commercials would be “Today,” "Good Morning Ametics,” and "Regis and Kathie Lee" “We should tage the rBcoss.yeue ‘olds, Remember, they are the ones who wil be making arrangements for tei parents. This irs passionate case forme...THe AMenicax Way oF Dear Revisiten His proration: “Fuel evice ay be ing Wit under the sain of oo ch undo ction. Batt on think we ave anyone {> Blane for abu urate, We don have fo apologise co ‘ements o to gone ce “When The “American Way -of Death became a best-seller, funeral serie went ona dit rom wih never eoveed She wasting {oe ur we should do someting pose about ounce, We have hing apologies" ‘Nes un the mondrouly named Enoch Glsck fered what be described 5 “anode.” Graduating rom mower shod tthe Se of went, is fr job wasn reewood Pa, San Dig “tthe Foret Lawn ofS Deg” Be tld wth thes crema ti on he ponies Bat sellag the were hoyle wrong Tole would sk for ccrasioo~and tice was st competion eng he al aso tow quickly chy cold pt dof cremation fey Sore exployer raged that chy cou do in wet tee Thar wach gh ald Me lock “Tarte aking wih the ceacon fale explaining the many option. When they telnd the posite ve wanted the deeed preset fr the Scot. Some found tf vale fo purchase a cremation cadet. “he we men forward, anagement ated eto meet thal he cremation ai, We al ad eo unm ticked sway on sel 1 baie an un deploy andgore renal eke We had fel auc of Ch ea the dplay and rics bya babbling rook—those Soi lite hokes! We top she ato he af thes shige Fane are served when thre age optone. But is gical ron tosell anything” Me Clack spas. “We go fo Horned baying chen Me Gani next job was with Perce Brother i Los Angele. By ten he had eco a cxper nthe cremation sine, a is te erployer sought hs Gc on developing 3 eematon market “Pred very fw cremation sought had thei eens tory Lo Angler Tey ue ween doing ight.” His Bt ep tr fo conduct & community ruey Jn bic respondents wee {shed the goetons: (2) Do yu know the name Pree? Many fSneweed "Yon Peres had hg ane rego inthe ae. (3 ‘Whar do you know about eematoocan you ave a Wadena funrl wit ctemation? Mow people abeeted NO” 0 that. (3) Not Seng ‘Whar does one do with the ashes? Almost eveeyone thought that ashes shouldbe sated. “The last ewo answer showed where the rae ay—and pointed to the olution. "Td pend at lest an hour wit he cremation family snd come out with an ea, a memorial plague, ower.” ‘Over the yeas, Me Glascock continued to perfect his thous “We came up with ‘S495 Forever Cremation although this $495 di las oreen," he told us, (Too tae. Checking late with itce Brothers, earned tha he rock-bottom price in 1995 was S72k) He listed Piece Brothers under *Cremation” inthe Yellow Pages an in the obi pages of the newspaper. He put te emphans on uns; et ‘hat time, the urns were to smalls he arranged for bigger ones Further outlining his strategy, be expllned, “I wecome the ily as would goer ro my own home. Loe the est room, sod, hosp tay. Today, come out with embalming, desing, wsiaion, At the end af the arcangements conference, we hod hands, sya pene have coffee. ator guide! We ae starting 0 see more memo ination with cremation. We mal be our gues,” He gives the family he val atic forts ells them he wil ‘obtain the death certicte “Tsay that we ae roqited to show thers a price li, Sol pve them the pie it ond tl then Ps earings to read if go out ofthe roors for about ve mines, ota long ‘neded to smoke s cigarette. Las if they have any questions. We don't accept eash—we take checks credit cards, We dont €o fecount rea" And whe hl oes we wend card anda He lef us with a fal anecdote: “A family came from Pci Pl Isades. Later, we beard from the daughter, who tld me, "You took ‘ate of oar mother We had discussed your frm among others. want tosharea though: we almos did’ use yo, your prises were sow Bus then we talked with you and you staff mile times and con saded you are ‘Our Sot of Pople" As intoduced inthe program nots, Ron Ht “created the Cis: ket Airray, and presemed it 0 feral service in May of #9808 design that contiaues unchanged” (Thee isa color photo of “The ‘Ae Casketray Combination” and the “Original Casket Aieay” 09 the back of Mortuary Management under she headline PRATFANAt wins. They ae earcoard shipping boxes, each in« wooden tay