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www.cinema3satu.blogspot.com
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"Once upon a time
there was a lovely princess.
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"But she had an enchantment
upon her of a fearful sort...
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"which could only be broken
by love's first kiss.
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"She was locked away
in a castle...
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"guarded by a terrible
fire-breathing dragon.
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"Many brave knights had attempted
to free her from this dreadful prison,
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"but none prevailed.
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"She waited in
the dragon's keep...
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"in the highest room
of the tallest tower...
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for her true love
and true love's first kiss".
11
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Like that's ever gonna happen.
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What a load of...
13
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44
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- Go!
- Go!
45
00:03:02,526 --> 00:03:05,518
- Go. Go. Go.
51
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- Think it's in there?
- All right. Let's get it!
52
00:03:31,926 --> 00:03:34,565
Whoa. Hold on. Do you know
what that thing can do to you?
53
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Yeah, it'll grind
your bones for its bread.
54
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Yes, well, actually,
that would be a giant.
55
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Now, ogres...
They're much worse.
56
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They'll make a suit
from your freshly peeled skin.
57
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- No!
- They'll shave your liver.
58
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Squeeze the jelly
from your eyes!
59
00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:56,000
- Actually, it's quite good on toast.
- Back! Back, beast!
60
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Back! I warn ya!
61
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Right.
66
00:04:18,406 --> 00:04:22,763
This is the part
where you run away.
69
00:04:29,286 --> 00:04:32,198
And stay out!
70
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"Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."
72
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All right. This one's full.
73
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Take it away!
74
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- Move it along. Come on! Get up!
- Next!
75
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Give me that!
Your flying days are over.
76
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That's 20 pieces of silver
for the witch. Next!
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- Get up! Come on!
- Twenty pieces.
78
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Sit down there!
79
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Keep quiet!
80
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This cage is too small.
81
00:05:06,846 --> 00:05:08,837
Please don't turn me in.
I'll never be stubborn again.
82
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I can change.
Please! Give me another chance!
83
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- Oh, shut up.
- Next!
84
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- What have you got?
- This little wooden puppet.
85
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I'm not a puppet.
I'm a real boy.
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Five shillings
for the possessed toy.
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- Take it away.
- Father, please! Don't let them do this!
88
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- Help me!
- Next. What have you got?
89
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Well, I've got a talking donkey.
90
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Right. Well, that's good for
ten shillings, if you can prove it.
91
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Oh, go ahead, little fella.
92
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Well?
93
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Oh, oh, he's just...
He's just a little nervous.
94
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He's really quite a chatterbox.
Talk, you boneheaded dolt...
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-That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!
- No, no, he talks!
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He does. I can talk.
I love to talk.
97
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I'm the talkingest
damn thing you ever saw.
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- Get her out of my sight.
- No, no!
99
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I swear! Oh!
He can talk!
101
00:06:05,126 --> 00:06:07,401
Hey! I can fly!
102
00:06:07,486 --> 00:06:09,044
- He can fly!
- He can fly!
103
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- He can talk!
- Ha, ha! That's right, fool!
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Now I'm a flying,
talking donkey.
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You might have seen a house fly,
maybe even a super fly,
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00:06:16,966 --> 00:06:19,878
but I bet you ain't
never seen a donkey fly.
110
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Seize him!
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00:06:29,766 --> 00:06:32,485
After him!
He's getting away!
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Get him! This way! Turn!
114
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You there. Ogre!
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Aye?
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By the order of Lord Farquaad,
I am authorized to place you both under arrest...
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and transport you to
a designated... resettlement facility.
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Oh, really?
You and what army?
121
00:07:16,286 --> 00:07:18,197
Can I say something to you?
122
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Listen, you was really, really somethin'
back there. Incredible!
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Are you talkin' to... me?
124
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Yes, I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that
you was great back there? Those guards!
125
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They thought they was all of that.
Then you showed up, and bam!
126
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They was trippin' over themselves
like babes in the woods.
127
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That really made me
feel good to see that.
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- Oh, that's great. Really.
- Man, it's good to be free.
129
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Now, why don't you go celebrate your
freedom with your own friends? Hmm?
130
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But, uh, I don't
have any friends.
131
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And I'm not goin'
out there by myself.
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Hey, wait a minute! I got
a great idea! I'll stick with you.
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You're a mean,
green, fightin' machine.
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Together we'll scare
the spit out of anybody that crosses us.
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Oh, wow!
That was really scary.
137
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If you don't mind me sayin', if that don't work,
your breath certainly will get the job done,
138
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'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs
or something, 'cause your breath stinks!
139
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You almost burned the hair
outta my nose,
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just like the time...
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Then I ate some rotten berries.
I had strong gases eking out of my butt that day.
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Why are you following me?
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I'll tell you why.
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Stop singing!
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It's no wonder
you don't have any friends.
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Wow. Only a true friend
would be that truly honest.
152
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Listen, little donkey.
Take a look at me. What am I?
154
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- Really tall?
- No! I'm an ogre.
155
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You know.
"Grab your torch and pitchforks."
156
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Doesn't that bother you?
157
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Nope.
158
00:09:10,886 --> 00:09:13,639
- Really?
- Really, really.
159
00:09:13,726 --> 00:09:16,718
- Oh.
- Man, I like you. What's your name?
160
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Uh, Shrek.
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Shrek? Well, you know
what I like about you, Shrek?
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You got that kind of
l-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing.
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I like that.
I respect that, Shrek. You all right.
164
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Look at that. Who'd want
to live in a place like that?
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That would be my home.
166
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Oh! And it is lovely!
Just beautiful.
167
00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:44,835
You are quite a decorator. It's amazing
what you've done with such a modest budget.
168
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I like that boulder.
That is a nice boulder.
169
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I guess you don't
entertain much, do you?
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I like my privacy.
171
00:09:57,566 --> 00:10:00,034
You know, I do too.
That's another thing we have in common.
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Like, I hate it when
you got somebody in your face.
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You're trying to give them a hint, and
they won't leave. There's that awkward silence.
174
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- Can I stay with you?
- Uh, what?
175
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Can I stay with you, please?
176
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- Of course!
- Really?
177
00:10:16,646 --> 00:10:18,921
- No.
- Please! I don't wanna go back there!
178
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You don't know what it's like to be
considered a freak. Well, maybe you do.
179
00:10:22,846 --> 00:10:25,314
But that's why we gotta stick together.
You gotta let me stay!
180
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- Please! Please!
- Okay! Okay!
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- But one night only.
- Ah! Thank you!
182
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- What are you... No! No!
- This is gonna be fun!
183
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We can stay up late,
swappin' manly stories,
184
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and in the mornin'
I'm makin' waffles.
185
00:10:38,046 --> 00:10:41,163
- Oh!
- Where do, uh, I sleep?
186
00:10:41,246 --> 00:10:42,918
Outside!
187
00:10:43,006 --> 00:10:45,964
Oh, well,
I guess that's cool.
188
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I mean, I don't know you,
and you don't know me,
189
00:10:48,126 --> 00:10:50,401
so I guess outside
is best, you know.
190
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Here I go.
191
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Good night.
192
00:10:59,446 --> 00:11:03,280
I mean, I do like the outdoors.
I'm a donkey. I was born outside.
193
00:11:03,366 --> 00:11:05,926
I'll just be sitting by myself
outside, I guess, you know.
194
00:11:06,006 --> 00:11:08,201
By myself, outside.
199
00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:17,040
I thought I told you to stay outside.
200
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I am outside.
202
00:12:25,926 --> 00:12:29,555
Well, gents, it's a far cry from
the farm, but what choice do we have?
203
00:12:29,646 --> 00:12:32,035
It's not home,
but it'll do just fine.
204
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What a lovely bed.
205
00:12:34,046 --> 00:12:36,276
- Got ya.
- I found some cheese.
207
00:12:40,446 --> 00:12:42,914
- Is that you, Gorder?
- How did you know?
208
00:12:43,006 --> 00:12:45,804
Enough!
What are you doing in my house?
209
00:12:45,886 --> 00:12:47,717
Hey!
211
00:12:50,406 --> 00:12:53,842
- Dead broad off the table.
- Where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken.
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00:12:57,046 --> 00:12:59,560
What?
214
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I live in a swamp. I put up signs.
I'm a terrifying ogre!
215
00:13:04,286 --> 00:13:06,800
What do I have to do
to get a little privacy?
216
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No!
217
00:13:09,286 --> 00:13:11,880
No!
218
00:13:11,966 --> 00:13:15,402
No! No!
219
00:13:15,486 --> 00:13:18,284
What?
220
00:13:18,366 --> 00:13:20,197
- Quit it.
- Don't push.
222
00:13:24,446 --> 00:13:27,244
What are you doing in my swamp?
223
00:13:27,326 --> 00:13:29,635
Swamp! Swamp! Swamp!
224
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Oh, dear!
226
00:13:34,526 --> 00:13:37,757
All right, get out of here.
All of you, move it!
227
00:13:37,846 --> 00:13:40,155
Come on! Let's go!
Hapaya! Hapaya! Hey!
228
00:13:40,246 --> 00:13:42,123
- Quickly. Come on!
- No, no!
229
00:13:42,206 --> 00:13:44,322
No, no.
Not there. Not there.
231
00:13:47,846 --> 00:13:50,599
Hey, don't look at me.
I didn't invite them.
232
00:13:50,686 --> 00:13:52,677
Oh, gosh, no one invited us.
233
00:13:52,766 --> 00:13:55,234
- What?
- We were forced to come here.
234
00:13:55,326 --> 00:13:57,362
- By who?
- Lord Farquaad.
235
00:13:57,446 --> 00:14:01,997
He huffed und he puffed und he...
signed an eviction notice.
236
00:14:02,086 --> 00:14:04,680
All right.
237
00:14:04,766 --> 00:14:08,839
Who knows where
this Farquaad guy is?
238
00:14:08,926 --> 00:14:11,599
Oh, I do. I know where he is.
239
00:14:11,686 --> 00:14:15,235
Does anyone else
know where to find him?
240
00:14:16,646 --> 00:14:18,796
- Anyone at all?
- Me! Me!
241
00:14:18,886 --> 00:14:20,717
- Anyone?
- Oh! Oh, pick me!
242
00:14:20,806 --> 00:14:23,115
Oh, I know!
I know! Me, me!
243
00:14:23,206 --> 00:14:26,198
Okay, fine.
244
00:14:26,286 --> 00:14:30,643
Attention,
all fairy tale things.
245
00:14:30,726 --> 00:14:35,242
Do not get comfortable.
Your welcome is officially worn out.
246
00:14:35,326 --> 00:14:38,875
In fact, I'm gonna see
this guy Farquaad right now...
247
00:14:38,966 --> 00:14:41,958
and get you all off my land
and back where you came from!
250
00:14:49,206 --> 00:14:52,039
Oh! You!
251
00:14:52,126 --> 00:14:53,957
You're comin' with me.
252
00:14:54,046 --> 00:14:56,276
All right, that's
what I like to hear, man.
253
00:14:56,366 --> 00:14:59,995
Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart friends,
off on a whirlwind big-city adventure.
254
00:15:00,086 --> 00:15:01,997
I love it!
255
00:15:02,086 --> 00:15:05,123
- Sing it with me, Shrek.
- Hey. Oh, oh!
257
00:15:07,166 --> 00:15:08,997
What did I say about singing?
258
00:15:09,086 --> 00:15:10,917
- Can I whistle?
- No.
259
00:15:11,006 --> 00:15:13,679
- Can I hum it?
- All right, hum it.
263
00:15:42,246 --> 00:15:45,158
That's enough. He's ready to talk.
267
00:15:57,566 --> 00:15:59,921
Run, run, run, as fast as you can.
268
00:16:00,006 --> 00:16:03,396
You can't catch me.
I'm the gingerbread man!
269
00:16:03,486 --> 00:16:06,922
- You're a monster.
- I'm not the monster here. You are.
270
00:16:07,006 --> 00:16:11,079
You and the rest of that fairy tale
trash, poisoning my perfect world.
271
00:16:11,166 --> 00:16:12,997
Now, tell me!
Where are the others?
272
00:16:13,086 --> 00:16:15,520
Eat me!
273
00:16:15,606 --> 00:16:18,404
I've tried to be fair
to you creatures.
274
00:16:18,486 --> 00:16:21,842
Now my patience has reached its end!
Tell me or I'll...
275
00:16:21,926 --> 00:16:24,599
No, no, not the buttons.
Not my gumdrop buttons.
276
00:16:24,686 --> 00:16:26,597
All right then.
Who's hiding them?
277
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:31,806
Okay, I'll tell you.
Do you know the muffin man?
278
00:16:31,886 --> 00:16:34,116
- The muffin man?
- The muffin man.
279
00:16:34,206 --> 00:16:37,482
Yes, I know the muffin man,
who lives on Drury Lane?
280
00:16:37,566 --> 00:16:40,842
Well, she's married
to the muffin man.
281
00:16:40,926 --> 00:16:42,962
- The muffin man?
- The muffin man!
282
00:16:43,046 --> 00:16:45,924
She's married to the muffin man.
283
00:16:46,006 --> 00:16:47,598
My lord! We found it.

284
00:16:47,686 --> 00:16:50,758
Then what are you waiting for?
Bring it in.
287
00:17:04,166 --> 00:17:08,318
- Magic mirror...
- Don't tell him anything!
288
00:17:08,406 --> 00:17:10,636
No!
289
00:17:10,726 --> 00:17:14,321
Evening.
290
00:17:14,406 --> 00:17:16,203
Mirror, mirror, on the wall.
291
00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:19,517
Is this not the most
perfect kingdom of them all?
292
00:17:19,606 --> 00:17:22,074
Well, technically
you're not a king.
293
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:25,442
Uh, Thelonius.
294
00:17:25,526 --> 00:17:28,996
- You were saying?
- What I mean is, you're not a king yet.
295
00:17:29,086 --> 00:17:32,522
But you can become one. All
you have to do is marry a princess.
296
00:17:32,606 --> 00:17:35,484
Go on.
297
00:17:35,566 --> 00:17:39,036
So, just sit back and relax, my lord,
298
00:17:39,126 --> 00:17:43,244
because it's time for you to
meet today's eligible bachelorettes.
299
00:17:43,326 --> 00:17:46,762
And here they are!
300
00:17:46,846 --> 00:17:51,601
Bachelorette number one is a mentally
abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away.
301
00:17:51,686 --> 00:17:53,836
She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime.
302
00:17:53,926 --> 00:17:57,236
Her hobbies include cooking
and cleaning for her two evil sisters.
303
00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:59,601
Please welcome Cinderella.
304
00:17:59,686 --> 00:18:03,565
Bachelorette number two is a
cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy.
305
00:18:03,646 --> 00:18:06,240
Although she lives with
seven other men, she's not easy.
306
00:18:06,326 --> 00:18:09,636
Just kiss her dead, frozen lips
and find out what a live wire she is.
307
00:18:09,726 --> 00:18:13,321
Come on. Give it up for Snow White!
308
00:18:13,406 --> 00:18:15,920
And last, but certainly not least,
309
00:18:16,006 --> 00:18:17,997
bachelorette number three
is a fiery redhead...
310
00:18:18,086 --> 00:18:20,520
from a dragon-guarded castle
surrounded by hot boiling lava!
311
00:18:20,606 --> 00:18:22,562
But don't let that cool you off.
312
00:18:22,646 --> 00:18:25,683
She's a loaded pistol who likes
pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.
313
00:18:25,766 --> 00:18:29,645
Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona!
314
00:18:29,726 --> 00:18:32,081
So will it be bachelorette number one,
315
00:18:32,166 --> 00:18:35,522
bachelorette number two
or bachelorette number three?
316
00:18:35,606 --> 00:18:37,676
- Two! Two!
- Three! Three!
317
00:18:37,766 --> 00:18:39,040
- Two! Two!
- Three!
318
00:18:39,126 --> 00:18:41,162
Three? One? Three?
319
00:18:41,246 --> 00:18:43,202
Three! Pick number three, my lord!
320
00:18:43,286 --> 00:18:46,881
Okay, okay, uh, number three!
321
00:18:46,966 --> 00:18:51,517
Lord Farquaad,
you've chosen Princess Fiona.
323
00:18:55,326 --> 00:18:58,523
Princess Fiona.
324
00:18:58,606 --> 00:19:00,676
She's perfect.
325
00:19:00,766 --> 00:19:03,405
All I have to do is
just find someone who can go...
326
00:19:03,486 --> 00:19:05,636
But I probably should mention
the little thing that happens at night.
327
00:19:05,726 --> 00:19:07,557
- I'll do it.
- Yes, but after sunset...
328
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:11,559
Silence! I will make
this Princess Fiona my queen,
329
00:19:11,646 --> 00:19:15,639
and DuLoc will finally
have the perfect king!
330
00:19:15,726 --> 00:19:17,842
Captain, assemble your finest men.
331
00:19:17,926 --> 00:19:21,635
We're going to have a tournament.
332
00:19:23,246 --> 00:19:26,124
But that's it. That's it
right there. That's DuLoc.
333
00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:28,162
I told ya I'd find it.
334
00:19:28,246 --> 00:19:32,205
So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle.
335
00:19:32,286 --> 00:19:34,277
That's the place.
336
00:19:34,366 --> 00:19:37,642
Do you think maybe
he's compensating for something?
339
00:19:41,726 --> 00:19:43,603
Hey, wait. Wait up, Shrek.
340
00:19:43,686 --> 00:19:46,439
Hurry, darling. We're late. Hurry.
341
00:19:47,966 --> 00:19:51,356
Hey, you!
342
00:19:51,446 --> 00:19:54,165
Wait a second.
Look, I'm not gonna eat ya.
343
00:19:54,246 --> 00:19:58,000
- I just... I just...
350
00:20:27,286 --> 00:20:28,799
It's quiet.
351
00:20:31,126 --> 00:20:33,321
Too quiet.
353
00:20:35,806 --> 00:20:39,765
- Where is everybody?
- Hey, look at this!
366
00:21:24,926 --> 00:21:28,965
Wow! Let's do that again!
367
00:21:29,046 --> 00:21:31,606
No. No.
No, no, no! No.
369
00:21:33,926 --> 00:21:36,201
Brave knights.
370
00:21:36,286 --> 00:21:40,245
You are the best and brightest
in all the land.
371
00:21:40,326 --> 00:21:42,635
Today one of you
shall prove himself...
372
00:21:42,726 --> 00:21:44,956
All right. You're going the right way
for a smacked bottom.
373
00:21:45,046 --> 00:21:46,877
Sorry about that.
374
00:21:46,966 --> 00:21:52,245
That champion shall have the honour...
no, no... the privilege...
375
00:21:52,326 --> 00:21:56,205
to go forth and rescue
the lovely Princess Fiona...
376
00:21:56,286 --> 00:21:59,483
from the fiery keep of the dragon.
377
00:21:59,566 --> 00:22:03,605
If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful,
378
00:22:03,686 --> 00:22:06,723
the first runner-up
will take his place...
379
00:22:06,806 --> 00:22:09,479
and so on and so forth.
380
00:22:09,566 --> 00:22:14,765
Some of you may die, but it's
a sacrifice I am willing to make.
382
00:22:19,686 --> 00:22:21,995
Let the tournament begin!
384
00:22:27,486 --> 00:22:30,603
What is that?
385
00:22:30,686 --> 00:22:35,077
- It's hideous!
- Ah, that's not very nice.
386
00:22:35,166 --> 00:22:37,475
- It's just a donkey.
- Huh?
387
00:22:37,566 --> 00:22:40,399
Indeed. Knights, new plan!
388
00:22:40,486 --> 00:22:45,002
The one who kills the ogre will be
named champion! Have at him!
389
00:22:45,086 --> 00:22:48,840
- Get him!
- Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now.
390
00:22:48,926 --> 00:22:51,121
Go ahead! Get him!
391
00:22:51,206 --> 00:22:54,721
Can't we just settle this over a pint?
392
00:22:54,806 --> 00:22:56,000
Kill the beast!
393
00:22:56,086 --> 00:23:00,364
No? All right then.
394
00:23:00,446 --> 00:23:02,437
Come on!
396
00:23:14,246 --> 00:23:18,080
Damn!
401
00:23:30,686 --> 00:23:33,917
Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me!
405
00:23:41,446 --> 00:23:43,402
Yeah!
407
00:23:45,566 --> 00:23:47,397
The chair!
Give him the chair!
416
00:24:11,326 --> 00:24:13,999
Thank you!
Thank you very much!
417
00:24:14,086 --> 00:24:16,361
I'm here till Thursday.
Try the veal! Ha, ha!
419
00:24:22,566 --> 00:24:24,443
Shall I give the order, sir?
420
00:24:24,526 --> 00:24:27,962
No, I have a better idea.
421
00:24:28,046 --> 00:24:32,995
People of DuLoc,
I give you our champion!
422
00:24:33,086 --> 00:24:36,795
- What?
- Congratulations, ogre.
423
00:24:36,886 --> 00:24:41,038
You've won the honour of
embarking on a great and noble quest.
424
00:24:41,126 --> 00:24:45,324
Quest? I'm already on a quest,
a quest to get my swamp back.
425
00:24:45,406 --> 00:24:48,478
- Your swamp?
- Yeah, my swamp!
426
00:24:48,566 --> 00:24:50,921
Where you dumped
those fairy tale creatures!
427
00:24:51,006 --> 00:24:53,474
Indeed.
428
00:24:53,566 --> 00:24:55,557
All right, ogre, I'll make you a deal.
429
00:24:55,646 --> 00:24:59,275
Go on this quest for me, and
I'll give you your swamp back.
430
00:24:59,366 --> 00:25:01,960
Exactly the way it was?
431
00:25:02,046 --> 00:25:04,685
Down to the last
slime-covered toadstool.
432
00:25:04,766 --> 00:25:07,883
- And the squatters?
- As good as gone.
433
00:25:10,806 --> 00:25:14,594
What kind of quest?
434
00:25:14,926 --> 00:25:17,156
Let me get this straight.
You're gonna go fight a dragon...
435
00:25:17,246 --> 00:25:19,760
and rescue a princess just so Farquaad
will give you back a swamp...
436
00:25:19,846 --> 00:25:22,838
which you only don't have because he
filled it full of freaks in the first place.
437
00:25:22,926 --> 00:25:27,078
- Is that about right?
- Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk.
438
00:25:27,166 --> 00:25:30,556
I don't get it. Why don't you just
pull some of that ogre stuff on him?
439
00:25:30,646 --> 00:25:32,477
Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress,
440
00:25:32,566 --> 00:25:35,285
grind his bones to make your bread,
the whole ogre trip.
441
00:25:35,366 --> 00:25:37,197
Oh, I know what.
442
00:25:37,286 --> 00:25:39,402
Maybe I could have
decapitated an entire village...
443
00:25:39,486 --> 00:25:41,522
and put their heads on a pike,
444
00:25:41,606 --> 00:25:45,076
gotten a knife, cut open their
spleen and drink their fluids.
445
00:25:45,166 --> 00:25:47,202
Does that sound good to you?
446
00:25:47,286 --> 00:25:49,800
Uh, no, not really, no.
447
00:25:49,886 --> 00:25:53,515
For your information, there's a lot
more to ogres than people think.
448
00:25:53,606 --> 00:25:56,245
- Example?
- Example?
449
00:25:56,326 --> 00:26:02,196
- Okay, um, ogres are like onions.
- They stink?
450
00:26:02,286 --> 00:26:04,481
- Yes... No!
- They make you cry?
- No!
451
00:26:04,566 --> 00:26:07,842
You leave them out in the sun, they get
all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs.
452
00:26:07,926 --> 00:26:09,837
No! Layers!
453
00:26:09,926 --> 00:26:12,156
Onions have layers.
454
00:26:12,246 --> 00:26:15,397
Ogres have layers!
Onions have layers.
455
00:26:15,486 --> 00:26:17,795
You get it? We both have layers.
456
00:26:19,646 --> 00:26:23,082
Oh, you both have layers. Oh.
457
00:26:23,166 --> 00:26:26,397
You know, not everybody likes onions.
458
00:26:26,486 --> 00:26:29,000
Cake! Everybody loves cakes!
Cakes have layers.
459
00:26:29,086 --> 00:26:32,840
I don't care...
what everyone likes.
460
00:26:32,926 --> 00:26:36,475
Ogres are not like cakes.
461
00:26:38,246 --> 00:26:41,477
You know what else
everybody likes? Parfaits.
462
00:26:41,566 --> 00:26:43,397
Have you ever met a person, you
say, "Let's get some parfait,"
463
00:26:43,486 --> 00:26:45,317
they say, "No, I don't like no parfait"?
464
00:26:45,406 --> 00:26:48,045
- Parfaits are delicious.
- No!
465
00:26:48,126 --> 00:26:50,765
You dense, irritating,
miniature beast of burden!
466
00:26:50,846 --> 00:26:53,644
Ogres are like onions!
End of story.
467
00:26:53,726 --> 00:26:55,603
Bye-bye. See ya later.
468
00:26:59,286 --> 00:27:03,518
Parfaits may be the most delicious thing
on the whole damn planet.
469
00:27:03,606 --> 00:27:05,722
You know, I think I preferred your humming.
470
00:27:05,806 --> 00:27:08,366
Do you have a tissue or something?
I'm making a mess.
471
00:27:08,446 --> 00:27:11,244
Just the word parfait
make me start slobbering.
481
00:27:48,926 --> 00:27:51,281
Shrek! Did you do that?
482
00:27:51,366 --> 00:27:54,995
You gotta warn somebody before you
just crack one off. My mouth was open.
483
00:27:55,086 --> 00:27:58,635
Believe me, Donkey, if
it was me, you'd be dead.
484
00:27:58,726 --> 00:28:01,365
It's brimstone.
485
00:28:01,446 --> 00:28:04,483
- We must be getting close.
- Yeah, right, brimstone.
486
00:28:04,566 --> 00:28:08,479
Don't be talking about it's the brimstone.
I know what I smell. It wasn't no brimstone.
487
00:28:08,566 --> 00:28:10,443
It didn't come off no stone neither.
489
00:28:27,726 --> 00:28:30,923
Sure, it's big enough,
but look at the location.
491
00:28:33,926 --> 00:28:38,442
Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when
you said ogres have layers?
492
00:28:38,526 --> 00:28:40,357
Aye.
493
00:28:40,446 --> 00:28:43,882
Well, I have a bit
of a confession to make.
494
00:28:43,966 --> 00:28:47,197
Donkeys don't have layers. We wear
our fear right out there on our sleeves.
495
00:28:47,286 --> 00:28:51,199
- Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves.
- You know what I mean.
496
00:28:51,286 --> 00:28:53,846
You can't tell me
you're afraid of heights.
497
00:28:53,926 --> 00:28:58,317
I'm just a little uncomfortable about being
on a rickety bridge over a boiling lake of lava!
498
00:28:58,406 --> 00:29:02,285
Come on, Donkey.
I'm right here beside ya, okay?
499
00:29:02,366 --> 00:29:04,926
For emotional support,
500
00:29:05,006 --> 00:29:09,363
we'll just tackle this thing
together one little baby step at a time.
501
00:29:09,446 --> 00:29:11,277
- Really?
- Really, really.
502
00:29:11,366 --> 00:29:14,438
- Okay, that makes me feel so much better.
- Just keep moving.
503
00:29:14,526 --> 00:29:18,917
- And don't look down.
- Okay, don't look down. Don't look down.
504
00:29:19,006 --> 00:29:22,237
Don't look down.
Keep on moving. Don't look down.
505
00:29:22,326 --> 00:29:25,955
Shrek! I'm lookin' down!
506
00:29:26,046 --> 00:29:28,844
Oh, God, I can't do this!
Just let me off, please!
507
00:29:28,926 --> 00:29:32,316
- But you're already halfway.
- But I know that half is safe!
508
00:29:32,406 --> 00:29:35,079
Okay, fine. I don't
have time for this. You go back.
509
00:29:35,166 --> 00:29:37,475
- Shrek, no! Wait!
- Just, Donkey...
510
00:29:37,566 --> 00:29:40,524
- Let's have a dance then, shall we?
- Don't do that!
511
00:29:40,606 --> 00:29:44,315
Oh, I'm sorry. Do what?
512
00:29:44,406 --> 00:29:47,364
- Oh, this?
- Yes, that!
513
00:29:47,446 --> 00:29:50,722
Yes? Yes, do it. Okay.
514
00:29:50,806 --> 00:29:53,001
No, Shrek!
515
00:29:53,086 --> 00:29:56,078
- No! Stop it!
- You said do it! I'm doin' it.
516
00:29:56,166 --> 00:30:00,239
I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die.
Shrek, I'm gonna die.
518
00:30:02,806 --> 00:30:06,640
That'll do, Donkey.
That'll do.
519
00:30:09,886 --> 00:30:12,036
Cool.
520
00:30:12,126 --> 00:30:14,765
So where is this fire-breathing
pain-in-the-neck anyway?
521
00:30:14,846 --> 00:30:18,441
Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.
522
00:30:18,526 --> 00:30:21,324
I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.
525
00:30:36,166 --> 00:30:37,997
You afraid?
526
00:30:38,086 --> 00:30:41,237
No, but... Shh.
527
00:30:41,326 --> 00:30:44,716
Oh, good. Me neither.
528
00:30:44,806 --> 00:30:48,037
'Cause there's nothin'
wrong with bein' afraid.
529
00:30:48,126 --> 00:30:51,243
Fear's a sensible response
to an unfamiliar situation.
530
00:30:51,326 --> 00:30:53,282
Unfamiliar dangerous
situation, I might add.
531
00:30:53,366 --> 00:30:55,880
With a dragon that breathes fire
and eats knights and breathes fire,
532
00:30:55,966 --> 00:30:59,276
it sure doesn't mean you're a coward
if you're a little scared.
533
00:30:59,366 --> 00:31:03,200
I sure as heck ain't no coward.
I know that.
534
00:31:03,286 --> 00:31:06,483
Donkey, two things, okay?
535
00:31:06,566 --> 00:31:09,000
Shut... up.
536
00:31:09,086 --> 00:31:11,725
Now go over there and see
if you can find any stairs.
537
00:31:11,806 --> 00:31:14,320
Stairs? I thought
we was lookin' for the princess.
538
00:31:14,406 --> 00:31:19,082
The princess will be up the stairs in
the highest room in the tallest tower.
539
00:31:19,166 --> 00:31:22,602
- What makes you think she'll be there?
- I read it in a book once.
540
00:31:22,686 --> 00:31:26,440
Cool. You handle the dragon.
I'll handle the stairs.
541
00:31:26,526 --> 00:31:29,438
I'll find those stairs.
I'll whip their butt too.
542
00:31:29,526 --> 00:31:31,403
Those stairs won't know
which way they're goin'.
544
00:31:35,726 --> 00:31:37,603
I'm gonna take drastic steps.
545
00:31:37,686 --> 00:31:40,359
Kick it to the kerb. Don't mess
with me. I'm the stair master.
546
00:31:40,446 --> 00:31:44,837
I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had
a step right here. I'd step all over it.
547
00:31:47,686 --> 00:31:51,076
Well, at least we know
where the princess is, but where's the...
548
00:31:51,166 --> 00:31:55,239
Dragon!
551
00:32:08,286 --> 00:32:10,436
Donkey, look out!
554
00:32:21,606 --> 00:32:23,517
Got ya!
562
00:32:57,846 --> 00:33:01,122
No. Oh, no. No!
563
00:33:01,206 --> 00:33:04,676
Oh, what large teeth you have.
564
00:33:04,766 --> 00:33:08,441
I mean, white, sparkling teeth. I know you
probably hear this all the time from your food,
565
00:33:08,526 --> 00:33:12,485
but you must bleach, 'cause that
is one dazzling smile you got there.
566
00:33:12,566 --> 00:33:14,955
Do I detect a hint of minty freshness?
567
00:33:15,046 --> 00:33:19,597
And you know what else?
You're... You're a girl dragon!
568
00:33:19,686 --> 00:33:23,998
Oh, sure! I mean,
of course you're a girl dragon.
569
00:33:24,086 --> 00:33:27,715
You're just reeking of feminine beauty.
570
00:33:27,806 --> 00:33:30,036
What's the matter with you?
You got something in your eye?
572
00:33:32,926 --> 00:33:35,235
Man, I'd really love to stay,
but, you know, I'm...
573
00:33:35,326 --> 00:33:39,114
I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know
if it'd work out if you're gonna blow smoke rings.
574
00:33:39,206 --> 00:33:41,037
Shrek!
575
00:33:41,126 --> 00:33:44,675
No! Shrek! Shrek!
576
00:33:44,766 --> 00:33:46,597
Shrek!
582
00:34:18,046 --> 00:34:19,877
- Wake up!
- What?
583
00:34:19,966 --> 00:34:21,524
Are you Princess Fiona?
584
00:34:21,606 --> 00:34:26,726
I am, awaiting a knight
so bold as to rescue me.
585
00:34:26,806 --> 00:34:28,717
Oh, that's nice. Now let's go!
586
00:34:28,806 --> 00:34:30,717
But wait, Sir Knight.
587
00:34:30,806 --> 00:34:33,001
This be-ith our first meeting.
588
00:34:33,086 --> 00:34:36,635
Should it not be a
wonderful, romantic moment?
589
00:34:36,726 --> 00:34:40,878
- Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time.
- Hey, wait. What are you doing?
590
00:34:40,966 --> 00:34:42,957
You should sweep me off my feet...
591
00:34:43,046 --> 00:34:46,277
out yonder window and down
a rope onto your valiant steed.
592
00:34:46,366 --> 00:34:49,039
You've had a lot of time
to plan this, haven't you?
594
00:34:53,286 --> 00:34:56,039
But we have to savour this moment!
595
00:34:56,126 --> 00:34:58,765
You could recite an epic poem for me.
596
00:34:58,846 --> 00:35:01,201
A ballad? A sonnet!
597
00:35:01,286 --> 00:35:04,403
- A limerick? Or something!
- I don't think so.
598
00:35:04,486 --> 00:35:08,718
Can I at least know
the name of my champion?
599
00:35:08,806 --> 00:35:10,637
Shrek.
600
00:35:10,726 --> 00:35:14,275
Sir Shrek.
601
00:35:14,366 --> 00:35:18,917
I pray that you take this favour
as a token of my gratitude.
602
00:35:20,006 --> 00:35:21,917
Thanks!
604
00:35:25,766 --> 00:35:27,518
You didn't slay the dragon?
605
00:35:27,606 --> 00:35:29,961
It's on my to-do list.
Now come on!
606
00:35:30,046 --> 00:35:32,514
But this isn't right!
607
00:35:32,606 --> 00:35:34,756
You were meant to charge in,
sword drawn, banner flying.
608
00:35:34,846 --> 00:35:36,837
That's what all the other knights did.
609
00:35:36,926 --> 00:35:39,121
Yeah, right before they burst into flame.
610
00:35:39,206 --> 00:35:42,596
That's not the point. Oh!
611
00:35:42,686 --> 00:35:45,041
Wait. Where are you going?
The exit's over there.
612
00:35:45,126 --> 00:35:47,082
Well, I have to save my ass.
613
00:35:47,166 --> 00:35:50,238
What kind of knight are you?
614
00:35:50,326 --> 00:35:52,635
One of a kind.
615
00:35:52,726 --> 00:35:55,001
Slow down.
Slow down, baby, please.
616
00:35:55,086 --> 00:35:59,125
I believe it's healthy to get to know
someone over a long period of time.
617
00:35:59,206 --> 00:36:01,674
Just call me old-fashioned.
618
00:36:01,766 --> 00:36:05,122
I don't want to rush into
a physical relationship.
619
00:36:05,206 --> 00:36:08,516
I'm not emotionally ready
for a commitment of, uh, this...
620
00:36:08,606 --> 00:36:10,801
Magnitude really is
the word I'm looking for.
621
00:36:10,886 --> 00:36:14,242
Magnitude... Hey, that is
unwanted physical contact.
622
00:36:14,326 --> 00:36:16,681
Hey, what are you doing?
623
00:36:16,766 --> 00:36:19,883
Okay, okay. Let's just back up a little
and take this one step at a time.
624
00:36:19,966 --> 00:36:23,925
We really should get to know each other
first as friends or pen pals.
625
00:36:24,006 --> 00:36:28,045
I'm on the road a lot,
but I just love receiving cards...
626
00:36:28,126 --> 00:36:30,435
I'd really love to stay, but...
627
00:36:30,526 --> 00:36:32,994
Don't do that! That's my tail!
That's my personal tail.
628
00:36:33,086 --> 00:36:36,362
You're gonna tear it off. I don't give permission...
What are you gonna do with that?
629
00:36:36,446 --> 00:36:40,075
Hey, now. No way.
No! No!
634
00:37:08,566 --> 00:37:10,443
- Hi, Princess!
- It talks!
635
00:37:10,526 --> 00:37:14,121
Yeah, it's getting him
to shut up that's the trick.
645
00:37:48,246 --> 00:37:50,077
Okay, you two, head for the exit!
646
00:37:51,166 --> 00:37:53,600
I'll take care of the dragon.
647
00:37:59,926 --> 00:38:05,125
Run!
656
00:38:45,006 --> 00:38:49,477
You did it!
657
00:38:49,566 --> 00:38:52,319
You rescued me!
You're amazing. You're...
658
00:38:52,406 --> 00:38:56,001
You're wonderful. You're...
659
00:38:56,086 --> 00:38:58,281
a little unorthodox I'll admit.
660
00:38:58,366 --> 00:39:03,076
But thy deed is great,
and thine heart is pure.
661
00:39:03,166 --> 00:39:06,795
I am eternally in your debt.
662
00:39:06,886 --> 00:39:11,038
And where would a brave knight be
without his noble steed?
663
00:39:11,126 --> 00:39:15,597
I hope you heard that. She called me
a noble steed. She think I'm a steed.
664
00:39:15,686 --> 00:39:18,723
The battle is won.
665
00:39:18,806 --> 00:39:21,195
You may remove your helmet,
good Sir Knight.
666
00:39:21,286 --> 00:39:23,754
- Uh, no.
- Why not?
667
00:39:23,846 --> 00:39:25,962
I have helmet hair.
668
00:39:26,046 --> 00:39:29,118
Please. I would'st look
upon the face of my rescuer.
669
00:39:29,206 --> 00:39:31,674
No, no, you wouldn't... 'st.
670
00:39:31,766 --> 00:39:34,121
But how will you kiss me?
671
00:39:34,206 --> 00:39:37,801
What? That wasn't
in the job description.
672
00:39:37,886 --> 00:39:40,161
Maybe it's a perk.
673
00:39:40,246 --> 00:39:44,478
No, it's destiny.
Oh, you must know how it goes.
674
00:39:44,566 --> 00:39:48,195
A princess locked in a tower
and beset by a dragon...
675
00:39:48,286 --> 00:39:51,084
is rescued by a brave knight,
676
00:39:51,166 --> 00:39:54,317
and then they share
true love's first kiss.
677
00:39:54,406 --> 00:39:56,397
Hmm? With Shrek? You think... Wait.
678
00:39:56,486 --> 00:39:59,523
Wait. You think that
Shrek is your true love?
679
00:39:59,606 --> 00:40:01,517
Well, yes.
681
00:40:05,406 --> 00:40:07,761
You think Shrek is your true love!
682
00:40:07,846 --> 00:40:09,677
What is so funny?
683
00:40:09,766 --> 00:40:12,724
Let's just say I'm
not your type, okay?
684
00:40:12,806 --> 00:40:16,162
Of course, you are.
You're my rescuer.
685
00:40:16,246 --> 00:40:18,601
Now... Now remove your helmet.
686
00:40:18,686 --> 00:40:20,802
Look. I really don't think
this is a good idea.
687
00:40:20,886 --> 00:40:22,797
- Just take off the helmet.
- I'm not going to.
688
00:40:22,886 --> 00:40:24,001
- Take it off.
- No!
689
00:40:24,086 --> 00:40:26,077
- Now!
- Okay!
690
00:40:26,166 --> 00:40:30,478
Easy. As you command, Your Highness.
691
00:40:40,126 --> 00:40:43,402
You... You're a... an ogre.
692
00:40:43,486 --> 00:40:47,240
Oh, you were expecting
Prince Charming.
693
00:40:47,326 --> 00:40:49,715
Well, yes, actually.
694
00:40:51,566 --> 00:40:54,683
Oh, no. This is all wrong.
695
00:40:54,766 --> 00:40:56,961
You're not supposed
to be an ogre.
696
00:40:57,046 --> 00:41:02,074
Princess, I was sent to rescue
you by Lord Farquaad, okay?
697
00:41:02,166 --> 00:41:03,997
He's the one
who wants to marry you.
698
00:41:04,086 --> 00:41:05,917
Then why didn't
he come rescue me?
699
00:41:06,006 --> 00:41:10,158
Good question. You should
ask him that when we get there.
700
00:41:10,246 --> 00:41:13,158
But I have to be rescued by my true love,
701
00:41:13,246 --> 00:41:15,885
not by some ogre and his... his pet.
702
00:41:15,966 --> 00:41:17,922
So much for noble steed.
703
00:41:18,006 --> 00:41:20,520
You're not making my job any easier.
704
00:41:20,606 --> 00:41:23,837
I'm sorry, but your job
is not my problem.
705
00:41:23,926 --> 00:41:28,954
You can tell Lord Farquaad
that if he wants to rescue me properly,
706
00:41:29,046 --> 00:41:31,276
I'll be waiting for him right here.
707
00:41:31,366 --> 00:41:36,201
Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy,
all right? I'm a delivery boy.
708
00:41:36,286 --> 00:41:38,436
You wouldn't dare.
709
00:41:38,526 --> 00:41:40,437
- Put me down!
- Ya comin', Donkey?
710
00:41:40,526 --> 00:41:42,403
I'm right behind ya.
711
00:41:42,486 --> 00:41:45,922
Put me down, or you will
suffer the consequences!
712
00:41:46,006 --> 00:41:50,318
This is not dignified! Put me down!
713
00:41:50,406 --> 00:41:53,159
Okay, so here's another question.
714
00:41:53,246 --> 00:41:56,158
Say there's a woman that digs you,
right, but you don't really like her that way.
715
00:41:56,246 --> 00:41:58,521
How do you let her down real easy
so her feelings aren't hurt,
716
00:41:58,606 --> 00:42:00,995
but you don't get burned
to a crisp and eaten?
717
00:42:01,086 --> 00:42:03,725
You just tell her
she's not your true love.
718
00:42:03,806 --> 00:42:06,400
Everyone knowest what happens
when you find your...
719
00:42:06,486 --> 00:42:08,954
Hey!
720
00:42:09,046 --> 00:42:11,241
The sooner we get to DuLoc the better.
721
00:42:11,326 --> 00:42:14,124
You're gonna love it there,
Princess. It's beautiful!
722
00:42:14,206 --> 00:42:17,801
And what of my groom-to-be?
Lord Farquaad? What's he like?
723
00:42:17,886 --> 00:42:19,922
Let me put it this way, Princess.
724
00:42:20,006 --> 00:42:23,840
Men of Farquaad's stature
are in short supply.
726
00:42:25,846 --> 00:42:29,759
I don't know. There are those who
think little of him.
728
00:42:31,806 --> 00:42:34,559
Stop it. Stop it, both of you.
729
00:42:34,646 --> 00:42:39,401
You're just jealous you can never measure
up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad.
730
00:42:39,486 --> 00:42:42,284
Yeah, well, maybe
you're right, Princess.
731
00:42:42,366 --> 00:42:45,517
But I'll let you do the "measuring"
when you see him tomorrow.
732
00:42:45,606 --> 00:42:49,645
Tomorrow? It'll take that long?
733
00:42:49,726 --> 00:42:54,242
- Shouldn't we stop to make camp?
- No, that'll take longer.
734
00:42:54,326 --> 00:42:58,558
- We can keep going.
- But there's robbers in the woods.
735
00:42:58,646 --> 00:43:01,843
Time out, Shrek!
Camping's starting to sound good.
736
00:43:01,926 --> 00:43:05,839
Hey, come on. I'm scarier than
anything we're going to see in this forest.
737
00:43:05,926 --> 00:43:08,201
I need to find
somewhere to camp now!
740
00:43:14,806 --> 00:43:18,719
- Hey! Over here.
- Shrek, we can do better than that.
741
00:43:18,806 --> 00:43:21,274
I don't think this is fit for a princess.
742
00:43:21,366 --> 00:43:24,039
No, no, it's perfect.
It just needs a few homey touches.
743
00:43:24,126 --> 00:43:28,836
Homey touches? Like what?
744
00:43:28,926 --> 00:43:32,999
A door? Well, gentlemen,
I bid thee good night.
745
00:43:33,086 --> 00:43:35,361
You want me to read you
a bedtime story? I will.
746
00:43:35,446 --> 00:43:37,676
I said good night!
747
00:43:40,046 --> 00:43:41,923
Shrek, what are you doing?
748
00:43:42,006 --> 00:43:44,918
I just... You know... Oh, come on.
749
00:43:45,006 --> 00:43:47,520
I was just kidding.
751
00:43:52,606 --> 00:43:56,042
And, uh, that one, that's Throwback,
752
00:43:56,126 --> 00:43:59,402
the only ogre to ever spit
over three wheat fields.
753
00:43:59,486 --> 00:44:02,444
Right. Yeah.
754
00:44:02,526 --> 00:44:05,324
Hey, can you tell my future
from these stars?
755
00:44:05,406 --> 00:44:08,842
The stars don't tell the future, Donkey.
They tell stories.
756
00:44:08,926 --> 00:44:12,362
Look, there's Bloodnut, the Flatulent.
757
00:44:12,446 --> 00:44:15,916
- You can guess what he's famous for.
- I know you're making this up.
758
00:44:16,006 --> 00:44:18,600
No, look.
There he is,
759
00:44:18,686 --> 00:44:21,644
and there's the group of hunters
running away from his stench.
760
00:44:21,726 --> 00:44:24,194
That ain't nothin' but
a bunch of little dots.
761
00:44:24,286 --> 00:44:28,040
Sometimes things are
more than they appear.
763
00:44:30,286 --> 00:44:32,242
Forget it.
765
00:44:34,966 --> 00:44:38,561
Hey, Shrek, what we gonna do
when we get our swamp anyway?
766
00:44:38,646 --> 00:44:40,364
Our swamp?
767
00:44:40,446 --> 00:44:42,437
You know, when we're through
rescuing the princess.
768
00:44:42,526 --> 00:44:47,077
We? Donkey, there's no "we."
There's no "our."
769
00:44:47,166 --> 00:44:49,316
There's just me and my swamp.
770
00:44:49,406 --> 00:44:53,479
The first thing I'm gonna do is build
a ten-foot wall around my land.
771
00:44:53,566 --> 00:44:55,955
You cut me deep, Shrek.
772
00:44:56,046 --> 00:44:59,243
You cut me real deep just now.
773
00:44:59,326 --> 00:45:01,157
You know what I think?
774
00:45:01,246 --> 00:45:04,238
I think this whole wall thing
is just a way to keep somebody out.
775
00:45:04,326 --> 00:45:08,319
- No, do ya think?
- Are you hidin' something?
776
00:45:08,406 --> 00:45:10,283
Never mind, Donkey.
777
00:45:10,366 --> 00:45:13,642
Oh, this is another one of
those onion things, isn't it?
778
00:45:13,726 --> 00:45:17,162
No, this is one of those drop-it
and leave-it-alone things.
779
00:45:17,246 --> 00:45:20,841
- Why don't you want to talk about it?
- Why do you want to?
780
00:45:20,926 --> 00:45:22,644
- Why are you blocking?
- I'm not blocking.
781
00:45:22,726 --> 00:45:24,876
- Oh, yes, you are.
- Donkey, I'm warning you.
782
00:45:24,966 --> 00:45:28,322
- Who you trying to keep out?
- Everyone! Okay?
783
00:45:29,526 --> 00:45:31,881
Oh, now we're gettin' somewhere.
784
00:45:31,966 --> 00:45:35,117
Oh! For the love of Pete!
785
00:45:35,206 --> 00:45:37,515
What's your problem?
What you got against the whole world?
786
00:45:37,606 --> 00:45:39,722
I'm not the one with the problem, okay?
787
00:45:39,806 --> 00:45:42,639
It's the world that seems
to have a problem with me.
788
00:45:42,726 --> 00:45:46,435
People take one look at me
and go, "Aah! Help! Run!
789
00:45:46,526 --> 00:45:50,121
A big, stupid, ugly ogre!"
790
00:45:50,206 --> 00:45:54,245
They judge me before
they even know me.
791
00:45:54,326 --> 00:45:56,157
That's why I'm better off alone.
792
00:46:03,766 --> 00:46:05,882
You know what?
793
00:46:05,966 --> 00:46:11,404
When we met, I didn't think you was
just a big, stupid, ugly ogre.
794
00:46:11,486 --> 00:46:14,284
Yeah, I know.
795
00:46:14,366 --> 00:46:17,642
So, uh, are there
any donkeys up there?
796
00:46:17,726 --> 00:46:20,957
Well, there's, um, Gabby,
797
00:46:21,046 --> 00:46:23,241
the Small and Annoying.
798
00:46:23,326 --> 00:46:28,036
Okay, I see it now. The big shiny
one, right there. That one there?
799
00:46:28,126 --> 00:46:31,163
- That's the moon.
- Oh, okay.
802
00:46:51,646 --> 00:46:53,955
Again. Show me again.
804
00:46:58,246 --> 00:47:02,159
Mirror, mirror, show her to me.
Show me the princess.
806
00:47:06,206 --> 00:47:10,802
Ah. Perfect.
819
00:48:11,526 --> 00:48:14,279
Mmm, yeah, you know
I like it like that.
820
00:48:14,366 --> 00:48:18,439
- Come on, baby. I said I like it.
- Donkey, wake up.
821
00:48:18,526 --> 00:48:20,960
- Huh? What?
- Wake up.
822
00:48:21,046 --> 00:48:22,923
- What?
- Good morning.
823
00:48:23,006 --> 00:48:26,123
How do you like your eggs?
824
00:48:26,206 --> 00:48:29,994
- Good morning, Princess!
- What's all this about?
825
00:48:30,086 --> 00:48:33,874
We kind of got off
to a bad start yesterday.
826
00:48:33,966 --> 00:48:35,877
I wanted to make it up to you.
827
00:48:35,966 --> 00:48:40,323
After all, you did rescue me.
828
00:48:40,406 --> 00:48:43,284
Uh, thanks.
829
00:48:43,366 --> 00:48:46,995
Well, eat up.
We've got a big day ahead of us.
830
00:48:51,286 --> 00:48:53,163
Shrek!
831
00:48:53,246 --> 00:48:55,043
What? It's a compliment.
832
00:48:55,126 --> 00:48:57,959
Better out than in,
I always say.
833
00:48:58,046 --> 00:49:01,641
Well, it's no way to behave
in front of a princess.
834
00:49:01,726 --> 00:49:04,240
- Thanks.
- She's as nasty as you are.
835
00:49:04,326 --> 00:49:08,956
You know, you're not
exactly what I expected.
836
00:49:09,046 --> 00:49:13,915
Maybe you shouldn't judge people
before you get to know them.
838
00:49:16,606 --> 00:49:18,801
La liberte! Hey!
839
00:49:18,886 --> 00:49:20,717
Princess!
840
00:49:20,806 --> 00:49:23,366
What are you doing?
841
00:49:23,446 --> 00:49:26,244
Be still, mon cherie,
for I am your saviour!
842
00:49:26,326 --> 00:49:30,604
And I am rescuing you from this green...
843
00:49:30,686 --> 00:49:33,120
- beast.
- Hey!
844
00:49:33,206 --> 00:49:35,436
That's my princess!
Go find your own!
845
00:49:35,526 --> 00:49:40,361
Please, monster!
Can't you see I'm a little busy here?
846
00:49:40,446 --> 00:49:43,882
Look, pal, I don't know
who you think you are!
847
00:49:43,966 --> 00:49:46,434
Oh! Of course!
Oh, how rude.
848
00:49:46,526 --> 00:49:48,517
Please let me introduce myself.
849
00:49:48,606 --> 00:49:51,359
Oh, Merry Men!
855
00:50:03,486 --> 00:50:06,319
Break it down.
866
00:50:35,006 --> 00:50:37,520
Man, that was annoying!
867
00:50:37,606 --> 00:50:39,278
Oh, you little...
872
00:51:05,406 --> 00:51:08,364
Um, shall we?
873
00:51:09,646 --> 00:51:12,399
Hold the phone.
874
00:51:12,966 --> 00:51:15,799
Hold on now.
875
00:51:15,886 --> 00:51:17,797
- Where did that come from?
- What?
876
00:51:17,886 --> 00:51:20,639
That! Back there.
That was amazing!
877
00:51:20,726 --> 00:51:22,557
Where did you learn that?
878
00:51:22,646 --> 00:51:25,638
Well... When one lives alone,
879
00:51:25,726 --> 00:51:28,365
uh, one has to learn these things
in case there's a...
880
00:51:28,446 --> 00:51:30,960
- There's an arrow in your butt!
- What?
881
00:51:31,046 --> 00:51:34,675
- Oh, would you look at that?
- Oh, no. This is all my fault.
882
00:51:34,766 --> 00:51:36,597
- I'm so sorry.
- Why? What's wrong?
883
00:51:36,686 --> 00:51:39,883
- Shrek's hurt.
- Shrek's hurt. Shrek's hurt? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die.
884
00:51:39,966 --> 00:51:43,595
- Donkey, I'm okay.
- You can't do this to me. I'm too young for you to die.
885
00:51:43,686 --> 00:51:45,722
Keep your legs elevated.
Turn your head and cough.
886
00:51:45,806 --> 00:51:48,684
- Does anyone know the Heimlich?
- Donkey! Calm down.
887
00:51:48,766 --> 00:51:53,203
If you want to help Shrek, run into the
woods and find me a blue flower with red thorns.
888
00:51:53,286 --> 00:51:56,722
Blue flower, red thorns. Okay,
I'm on it. Blue flower, red thorns.
889
00:51:56,806 --> 00:52:00,116
Don't die, Shrek. If you see
a long tunnel, stay away from the light!
890
00:52:00,206 --> 00:52:03,243
- Donkey!
- Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns.
891
00:52:03,326 --> 00:52:05,521
- Blue flower, red thorns.
- What are the flowers for?
892
00:52:05,606 --> 00:52:07,722
For getting rid of Donkey.
893
00:52:07,806 --> 00:52:10,081
Now you hold still,
and I'll yank this thing out.
894
00:52:10,166 --> 00:52:12,282
Ow! Hey!
Easy with the yankin'.
895
00:52:12,366 --> 00:52:14,880
- I'm sorry, but it has to come out.
- No, it's tender.
896
00:52:14,966 --> 00:52:16,638
Now, hold on.
897
00:52:16,726 --> 00:52:18,717
- What you're doing is the opposite of help.
- Don't move.
898
00:52:18,806 --> 00:52:21,366
- Look, time out.
- Would you...
899
00:52:21,446 --> 00:52:25,724
Okay. What do you propose we do?
900
00:52:25,806 --> 00:52:28,400
Blue flower, red thorns.
901
00:52:28,486 --> 00:52:30,761
This would be so much easier
if I wasn't colour-blind!
902
00:52:30,846 --> 00:52:32,837
Blue flower, red thorns.
903
00:52:32,926 --> 00:52:35,235
Hold on, Shrek!
I'm comin'!
904
00:52:36,686 --> 00:52:38,722
Ow! Not good.
905
00:52:38,806 --> 00:52:41,240
Okay. Okay,
I can nearly see the head.
906
00:52:41,326 --> 00:52:43,840
- It's just about...
908
00:52:48,206 --> 00:52:51,437
Nothing happened.
We were just, uh...
909
00:52:51,526 --> 00:52:54,120
Look, if you wanted to be alone,
all you had to do was ask.
910
00:52:54,206 --> 00:52:57,323
Oh, come on!
That's the last thing on my mind.
911
00:52:57,406 --> 00:53:00,921
The princess here
was just... Ugh!
912
00:53:03,966 --> 00:53:06,560
Hey, what's that?
913
00:53:06,646 --> 00:53:09,365
That's... Is that blood?
926
00:54:24,366 --> 00:54:26,243
Hey!
929
00:54:36,206 --> 00:54:38,037
There it is, Princess.
930
00:54:38,126 --> 00:54:40,356
Your future awaits you.
931
00:54:40,446 --> 00:54:42,596
- That's DuLoc?
- Yeah, I know.
932
00:54:42,686 --> 00:54:45,246
You know, Shrek thinks Lord Farquaad's
compensating for something,
933
00:54:45,326 --> 00:54:47,715
which I think means
he has a really... Ow!
934
00:54:47,806 --> 00:54:49,637
Um, l, uh...
935
00:54:49,726 --> 00:54:52,035
- I guess we better move on.
- Sure.
936
00:54:52,126 --> 00:54:54,117
But, Shrek?
937
00:54:54,206 --> 00:54:56,879
I'm... I'm worried about Donkey.
938
00:54:56,966 --> 00:54:59,241
- What?
- I mean, look at him.
939
00:54:59,326 --> 00:55:02,204
- He doesn't look so good.
- What are you talking about? I'm fine.
940
00:55:02,286 --> 00:55:07,076
That's what they always say, and then
next thing you know, you're on your back.
941
00:55:07,166 --> 00:55:09,521
- Dead.
- You know, she's right.
942
00:55:09,606 --> 00:55:12,359
You look awful.
Do you want to sit down?
943
00:55:12,446 --> 00:55:15,040
- I'll make you some tea.
- I didn't want to say nothin',
944
00:55:15,126 --> 00:55:17,765
but I got this twinge in my neck,
and when I turn my head like this, look.
945
00:55:17,846 --> 00:55:19,677
See?
946
00:55:19,766 --> 00:55:22,234
-Who's hungry? I'll find us some dinner.
-I'll get the firewood.
947
00:55:22,326 --> 00:55:26,638
Hey, where you goin'?
Oh, man, I can't feel my toes!
948
00:55:26,726 --> 00:55:29,115
I don't have any toes!
949
00:55:29,206 --> 00:55:31,436
I think I need a hug.
951
00:55:37,086 --> 00:55:40,874
This is good. This is really good.
952
00:55:43,006 --> 00:55:45,156
- What is this?
- Uh, weedrat.
953
00:55:45,246 --> 00:55:47,282
Rotisserie style.
954
00:55:47,366 --> 00:55:49,755
No kidding.
955
00:55:49,846 --> 00:55:51,677
Well, this is delicious.
956
00:55:51,766 --> 00:55:53,757
Well, they're also great
in stews.
957
00:55:53,846 --> 00:55:57,919
Now, I don't mean to brag,
but I make a mean weedrat stew.
959
00:56:01,486 --> 00:56:05,445
I guess I'll be dining
a little differently tomorrow night.
960
00:56:05,526 --> 00:56:10,395
Maybe you can come visit
me in the swamp sometime.
961
00:56:10,486 --> 00:56:12,556
I'll cook all kinds of stuff for you.
962
00:56:12,646 --> 00:56:16,355
Swamp toad soup, fish eye tartare...
you name it.
963
00:56:16,446 --> 00:56:19,438
I'd like that.
966
00:56:29,246 --> 00:56:31,760
Um, Princess?
967
00:56:31,846 --> 00:56:35,919
Yes, Shrek?
968
00:56:36,006 --> 00:56:39,681
I, um, I was wondering.
969
00:56:39,766 --> 00:56:41,916
Are you...
971
00:56:44,566 --> 00:56:47,239
Are you gonna eat that?
973
00:56:53,766 --> 00:56:57,679
- Man, isn't this romantic? Just look at that sunset.
- Sunset?
974
00:56:57,766 --> 00:57:00,200
Oh, no! I mean, it's late.
975
00:57:00,286 --> 00:57:02,083
- l-It's very late.
- What?
976
00:57:02,166 --> 00:57:04,964
Wait a minute.
I see what's goin' on here.
977
00:57:05,046 --> 00:57:07,879
- You're afraid of the dark, aren't you?
- Yes!
978
00:57:07,966 --> 00:57:11,800
Yes, that's it. I'm terrified.
You know, I'd better go inside.
979
00:57:11,886 --> 00:57:15,083
Don't feel bad, Princess. I used to
be afraid of the dark, too, until...
980
00:57:15,166 --> 00:57:17,805
Hey, no, wait.
I'm still afraid of the dark.
981
00:57:17,886 --> 00:57:20,923
Good night.
982
00:57:21,006 --> 00:57:23,918
Good night.
984
00:57:27,006 --> 00:57:29,645
Now I really see
what's goin' on here.
985
00:57:29,726 --> 00:57:31,557
Oh, what are you
talkin' about?
986
00:57:31,646 --> 00:57:34,285
I don't even wanna hear it. Look,
I'm an animal, and I got instincts.
987
00:57:34,366 --> 00:57:36,675
I know you two were diggin'
on each other. I could feel it.
988
00:57:36,766 --> 00:57:39,485
You're crazy.
I'm just bringing her back to Farquaad.
989
00:57:39,566 --> 00:57:42,763
Oh, come on, Shrek.
Wake up and smell the pheromones.
990
00:57:42,846 --> 00:57:45,406
Just go on in and tell
her how you feel.
991
00:57:45,486 --> 00:57:49,320
There's nothing to tell.
Besides, even if I did tell her that,
992
00:57:49,406 --> 00:57:51,237
well, you know...
993
00:57:51,326 --> 00:57:54,682
and I'm not sayin' I do
'cause I don't...
994
00:57:54,766 --> 00:57:57,075
she's a princess, and I'm...
995
00:57:57,166 --> 00:57:59,726
An ogre?
996
00:57:59,806 --> 00:58:02,366
Yeah. An ogre.
997
00:58:02,446 --> 00:58:06,325
- Hey, where you goin'?
- To get... more firewood.
999
00:58:25,126 --> 00:58:26,400
Princess?
1000
00:58:26,486 --> 00:58:29,080
Princess Fiona?
1001
00:58:33,166 --> 00:58:35,885
Princess, where are you?
1003
00:58:40,926 --> 00:58:43,315
Princess?
1005
00:58:46,286 --> 00:58:48,925
It's very spooky in here.
I ain't playing no games.
1007
00:58:58,726 --> 00:59:01,035
- Oh, no!
- No, help!
1008
00:59:01,126 --> 00:59:04,084
- Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
- No, it's okay. It's okay.
1009
00:59:04,166 --> 00:59:06,919
- What did you do with the princess?
- Donkey, I'm the princess.
1010
00:59:07,006 --> 00:59:09,645
It's me, in this body.
1011
00:59:09,726 --> 00:59:12,160
Oh, my God!
You ate the princess!
1012
00:59:12,246 --> 00:59:14,077
- Can you hear me?
- Donkey!
1013
00:59:14,166 --> 00:59:16,396
Listen, keep breathing!
I'll get you out of there!
1014
00:59:16,486 --> 00:59:18,841
Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
1015
00:59:18,926 --> 00:59:20,678
- Shrek!
- This is me.
1017
00:59:25,606 --> 00:59:28,359
Princess?
1018
00:59:28,446 --> 00:59:31,802
What happened to you?
You're, uh, uh,
1019
00:59:31,886 --> 00:59:33,717
uh, different.
1020
00:59:33,806 --> 00:59:35,956
- I'm ugly, okay?
- Well, yeah!
1021
00:59:36,046 --> 00:59:39,038
Was it something you ate? 'Cause
I told Shrek those rats was a bad idea.
1022
00:59:39,126 --> 00:59:41,560
- You are what you eat, I said. Now...
- No.
1023
00:59:41,646 --> 00:59:44,843
l... I've been this way
as long as I can remember.
1024
00:59:44,926 --> 00:59:47,281
What do you mean? Look,
I ain't never seen you like this before.
1025
00:59:47,366 --> 00:59:50,403
It only happens
when the sun goes down.
1026
00:59:51,766 --> 00:59:55,236
"By night one way,
by day another.
1027
00:59:55,326 --> 00:59:57,282
"This shall be the norm...
1028
00:59:57,366 --> 01:00:00,358
"until you find
true love's first kiss...
1029
01:00:00,446 --> 01:00:04,678
and then take love's true form."
1030
01:00:04,766 --> 01:00:08,156
Ah, that's beautiful.
I didn't know you wrote poetry.
1031
01:00:08,246 --> 01:00:10,077
It's a spell.
1032
01:00:10,166 --> 01:00:12,634
When I was a little girl,
1033
01:00:12,726 --> 01:00:15,286
a witch cast a spell on me.
1034
01:00:15,366 --> 01:00:17,800
Every night I become this.
1035
01:00:17,886 --> 01:00:21,401
This horrible, ugly beast!
1036
01:00:23,806 --> 01:00:28,641
I was placed in a tower to await the day
my true love would rescue me.
1037
01:00:28,726 --> 01:00:31,194
That's why I have to marry
Lord Farquaad tomorrow...
1038
01:00:31,286 --> 01:00:34,562
before the sun sets
and he sees me...
1039
01:00:35,766 --> 01:00:38,599
like this.
1040
01:00:38,686 --> 01:00:41,803
All right, all right. Calm down.
Look, it's not that bad.
1041
01:00:41,886 --> 01:00:45,879
You're not that ugly.
Well, I ain't gonna lie. You are ugly.
1042
01:00:45,966 --> 01:00:48,844
But you only look like this at night.
Shrek's ugly 24-7.
1043
01:00:48,926 --> 01:00:52,157
But, Donkey, I'm a princess,
1044
01:00:52,246 --> 01:00:55,682
and this is not how a princess
is meant to look.
1045
01:00:55,766 --> 01:00:59,361
Princess, how 'bout if you
don't marry Farquaad?
1046
01:00:59,446 --> 01:01:01,277
I have to.
1047
01:01:01,366 --> 01:01:04,085
Only my true love's kiss
can break the spell.
1048
01:01:04,166 --> 01:01:07,556
But, you know, um,
you're kind of an ogre,
1049
01:01:07,646 --> 01:01:10,922
and Shrek... well,
you got a lot in common.
1050
01:01:11,006 --> 01:01:12,439
Shrek?
1051
01:01:12,526 --> 01:01:16,201
Princess, l...
Uh, how's it going, first of all?
1052
01:01:16,286 --> 01:01:18,959
Good?
Good for me too.
1053
01:01:19,046 --> 01:01:20,877
I'm okay.
1054
01:01:20,966 --> 01:01:25,642
I saw this flower and thought of you
because it's pretty and...
1055
01:01:25,726 --> 01:01:29,799
well, I don't really like it, but I thought
you might like it 'cause you're pretty.
1056
01:01:29,886 --> 01:01:32,958
But I like you anyway.
I'd...
1058
01:01:35,046 --> 01:01:38,436
I'm in trouble.
Okay, here we go.
1059
01:01:38,526 --> 01:01:40,915
I can't just marry whoever I want.
1060
01:01:41,006 --> 01:01:43,201
Take a good look at me, Donkey.
1061
01:01:43,286 --> 01:01:45,117
I mean, really,
1062
01:01:45,206 --> 01:01:47,766
who could ever love a beast
so hideous and ugly?
1063
01:01:47,846 --> 01:01:50,155
"Princess" and "ugly"
don't go together.
1064
01:01:50,246 --> 01:01:52,555
That's why I can't
stay here with Shrek.
1065
01:01:52,646 --> 01:01:56,878
My only chance to live happily
ever after is to marry my true love.
1066
01:01:56,966 --> 01:02:00,242
Don't you see, Donkey?
1067
01:02:00,326 --> 01:02:03,477
That's just how it has to be.
1068
01:02:03,566 --> 01:02:06,478
It's the only way
to break the spell.
1069
01:02:06,566 --> 01:02:09,205
- You at least gotta tell Shrek the truth.
- No!
1070
01:02:09,286 --> 01:02:12,084
You can't breathe a word.
No one must ever know.
1071
01:02:12,166 --> 01:02:14,202
What's the point of being able to talk
if you gotta keep secrets?
1072
01:02:14,286 --> 01:02:17,278
Promise you won't tell.
Promise!
1073
01:02:17,366 --> 01:02:20,324
All right, all right.
I won't tell him. But you should.
1074
01:02:20,406 --> 01:02:23,284
I just know before this is over, I'm gonna
need a whole lot of serious therapy.
1075
01:02:23,366 --> 01:02:26,756
Look at my eye twitchin'.
1077
01:02:48,526 --> 01:02:52,121
I tell him, I tell him not.
1078
01:02:52,566 --> 01:02:56,400
I tell him,
I tell him not.
1079
01:02:56,486 --> 01:02:58,317
I tell him.
1080
01:02:58,406 --> 01:03:00,397
Shrek!
1081
01:03:00,486 --> 01:03:02,920
Shrek, there's something
I want...
1083
01:03:22,886 --> 01:03:25,002
Shrek.
1084
01:03:26,366 --> 01:03:28,322
- Are you all right?
- Perfect!
1085
01:03:28,406 --> 01:03:30,283
Never been better.
1086
01:03:30,366 --> 01:03:33,517
l... I don't...
There's something I have to tell you.
1087
01:03:33,606 --> 01:03:36,040
You don't have to tell me
anything, Princess.
1088
01:03:36,126 --> 01:03:38,117
- I heard enough last night.
- You heard what I said?
1089
01:03:38,206 --> 01:03:40,037
Every word.
1090
01:03:40,126 --> 01:03:42,196
I thought you'd understand.
1091
01:03:42,286 --> 01:03:44,117
Oh, I understand.
1092
01:03:44,206 --> 01:03:47,642
Like you said, "Who could
love a hideous, ugly beast?"
1093
01:03:47,726 --> 01:03:50,286
But I thought that
wouldn't matter to you.
1094
01:03:50,366 --> 01:03:52,038
Yeah? Well, it does.
1096
01:03:54,526 --> 01:03:56,642
Ah, right on time.
1097
01:03:56,726 --> 01:03:59,479
Princess, I've brought you
a little something.
1099
01:04:03,726 --> 01:04:07,241
What'd I miss? What'd I miss?
1100
01:04:07,326 --> 01:04:09,840
Who said that?
Couldn't have been a donkey.
1101
01:04:11,166 --> 01:04:13,521
Princess Fiona.
1102
01:04:13,606 --> 01:04:16,200
As promised. Now hand it over.
1103
01:04:16,286 --> 01:04:20,359
Very well, ogre. The deed
to your swamp, cleared out, as agreed.
1104
01:04:20,446 --> 01:04:24,803
Take it and go
before I change my mind.
1105
01:04:24,886 --> 01:04:27,605
Forgive me, Princess,
for startling you,
1106
01:04:27,686 --> 01:04:29,517
but you startled me,
1107
01:04:29,606 --> 01:04:33,121
for I have never seen
such a radiant beauty before.
1108
01:04:33,206 --> 01:04:36,084
I am Lord Farquaad.
1109
01:04:36,166 --> 01:04:39,875
Lord Farquaad?
Oh, no, no.
1110
01:04:39,966 --> 01:04:42,799
Forgive me, my lord,
for I was just saying...
1111
01:04:42,886 --> 01:04:48,119
a short... farewell.
1112
01:04:48,206 --> 01:04:52,643
That is so sweet. You don't have
to waste good manners on the ogre.
1113
01:04:52,726 --> 01:04:54,557
It's not like it has feelings.
1114
01:04:54,646 --> 01:04:58,434
No, you're right.
It doesn't.
1115
01:04:58,526 --> 01:05:02,360
Princess Fiona, beautiful, fair,
flawless Fiona.
1116
01:05:02,446 --> 01:05:05,324
I ask your hand in marriage.
1117
01:05:05,406 --> 01:05:10,241
Will you be the perfect bride
for the perfect groom?
1118
01:05:13,406 --> 01:05:18,355
Lord Farquaad, I accept.
Nothing would make...
1119
01:05:18,446 --> 01:05:21,483
Excellent! I'll start the plans,
for tomorrow we wed!
1120
01:05:21,566 --> 01:05:23,397
No! I mean, uh,
1121
01:05:23,486 --> 01:05:25,761
why wait?
1122
01:05:25,846 --> 01:05:29,521
Let's get married today
before the sun sets.
1123
01:05:29,606 --> 01:05:32,200
Oh, anxious, are we?
You're right.
1124
01:05:32,286 --> 01:05:36,040
The sooner, the better.
There's so much to do!
1125
01:05:36,126 --> 01:05:38,356
There's the caterer,
the cake, the band, the guest list.
1126
01:05:38,446 --> 01:05:41,324
Captain, round up
some guests!
1127
01:05:41,406 --> 01:05:44,000
Fare-thee-well, ogre.
1128
01:05:44,086 --> 01:05:46,554
Shrek, what are you doing?
You're letting her get away.
1129
01:05:46,646 --> 01:05:49,240
- Yeah? So what?
- Shrek, there's something about her you don't know.
1130
01:05:49,326 --> 01:05:51,635
Look, I talked to her
last night. She's...
1131
01:05:51,726 --> 01:05:55,605
I know you talked to her last night.
You're great pals, aren't ya?
1132
01:05:55,686 --> 01:05:59,281
Now, if you two are such good friends,
why don't you follow her home?
1133
01:05:59,366 --> 01:06:01,243
Shrek, l... I wanna go with you.
1134
01:06:01,326 --> 01:06:04,159
I told you, didn't I?
You're not coming home with me.
1135
01:06:04,246 --> 01:06:08,034
I live alone!
My swamp! Me! Nobody else!
1136
01:06:08,126 --> 01:06:10,117
Understand? Nobody!
1137
01:06:10,206 --> 01:06:14,836
Especially useless, pathetic,
annoying, talking donkeys!
1138
01:06:14,926 --> 01:06:17,963
- But I thought...
- Yeah. You know what?
1139
01:06:18,046 --> 01:06:20,162
You thought wrong!
1140
01:06:21,846 --> 01:06:23,677
Shrek.
1172
01:08:38,406 --> 01:08:40,317
Donkey?
1173
01:08:40,406 --> 01:08:42,522
What are you doing?
1174
01:08:42,606 --> 01:08:45,439
I would think, of all people, you would
recognize a wall when you see one.
1175
01:08:45,526 --> 01:08:47,357
Well, yeah.
1176
01:08:47,446 --> 01:08:50,677
But the wall's supposed
to go around my swamp, not through it.
1177
01:08:50,766 --> 01:08:53,439
It is around your half. See,
that's your half, and this is my half.
1178
01:08:53,526 --> 01:08:55,994
Oh! Your half.
1179
01:08:56,086 --> 01:08:58,520
Yes, my half.
I helped rescue the princess.
1180
01:08:58,606 --> 01:09:00,756
I did half the work,
I get half the booty.
1181
01:09:00,846 --> 01:09:04,043
Now hand me that big old rock,
the one that looks like your head.
1182
01:09:04,126 --> 01:09:06,356
- Back off!
- No, you back off.
1183
01:09:06,446 --> 01:09:08,357
- This is my swamp!
- Our swamp.
1184
01:09:08,446 --> 01:09:10,277
- Let go, Donkey!
- You let go.
1185
01:09:10,366 --> 01:09:12,243
- Stubborn jackass!
- Smelly ogre.
1186
01:09:12,326 --> 01:09:14,442
Fine!
1187
01:09:14,526 --> 01:09:17,723
- Hey, come back here. I'm not through with you yet.
- Well, I'm through with you.
1188
01:09:17,806 --> 01:09:20,923
You know, with you
it's always, "Me, me, me!"
1189
01:09:21,006 --> 01:09:23,474
Well, guess what!
Now it's my turn!
1190
01:09:23,566 --> 01:09:25,602
So you just shut up
and pay attention!
1191
01:09:25,686 --> 01:09:27,563
You are mean to me.
1192
01:09:27,646 --> 01:09:30,035
You insult me and you don't
appreciate anything that I do!
1193
01:09:30,126 --> 01:09:33,084
You're always pushing me around
or pushing me away.
1194
01:09:33,166 --> 01:09:36,841
Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you
so bad, how come you came back?
1195
01:09:36,926 --> 01:09:39,998
Because that's what friends do!
They forgive each other!
1196
01:09:40,086 --> 01:09:43,158
Oh, yeah.
You're right, Donkey.
1197
01:09:43,246 --> 01:09:47,285
I forgive you...
for stabbin' me in the back!
1198
01:09:47,366 --> 01:09:52,565
You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy,
you're afraid of your own feelings.
1199
01:09:52,646 --> 01:09:55,956
- Go away!
- There you are, doing it again just like you did to Fiona.
1200
01:09:56,046 --> 01:09:58,514
All she ever do was like you,
maybe even love you.
1201
01:09:58,606 --> 01:10:02,565
Love me? She said I was ugly,
a hideous creature.
1202
01:10:02,646 --> 01:10:04,477
I heard the two of you talking.
1203
01:10:04,566 --> 01:10:06,397
She wasn't talkin' about you.
1204
01:10:06,486 --> 01:10:08,716
She was talkin' about, uh,
somebody else.
1205
01:10:11,166 --> 01:10:13,475
She wasn't talking about me?
1206
01:10:13,566 --> 01:10:15,761
Well, then who was
she talking about?
1207
01:10:15,846 --> 01:10:18,440
No way. I ain't saying anything.
You don't wanna listen to me.
1208
01:10:18,526 --> 01:10:20,721
- Right? Right?
- Donkey!
1209
01:10:20,806 --> 01:10:23,240
- No!
- Okay, look.
1210
01:10:23,326 --> 01:10:25,157
I'm sorry, all right?
1212
01:10:29,846 --> 01:10:33,316
I'm sorry.
1213
01:10:33,406 --> 01:10:37,479
I guess I am just a big,
stupid, ugly ogre.
1214
01:10:38,646 --> 01:10:40,523
Can you forgive me?
1215
01:10:42,646 --> 01:10:44,477
Hey, that's what friends
are for, right?
1216
01:10:44,566 --> 01:10:47,126
Right. Friends?
1217
01:10:47,206 --> 01:10:49,037
Friends.
1218
01:10:49,126 --> 01:10:51,959
So, um,
1219
01:10:52,046 --> 01:10:54,196
what did Fiona say about me?
1220
01:10:54,286 --> 01:10:57,278
What are you asking me for?
Why don't you just go ask her?
1221
01:10:57,366 --> 01:11:00,244
The wedding!
We'll never make it in time.
1222
01:11:00,326 --> 01:11:03,398
Never fear, for where
there's a will, there's a way
1223
01:11:03,486 --> 01:11:05,522
and I have a way.
1224
01:11:09,726 --> 01:11:12,081
Donkey?
1225
01:11:12,166 --> 01:11:14,441
I guess it's just
my animal magnetism.
1226
01:11:14,526 --> 01:11:17,563
Aw, come here, you.
1227
01:11:17,646 --> 01:11:20,319
All right, all right. Don't get
all slobbery. No one likes a kiss ass.
1228
01:11:20,406 --> 01:11:22,840
All right, hop on and hold on tight.
1229
01:11:22,926 --> 01:11:26,282
I haven't had a chance to
install the seat belts yet.
1233
01:11:56,646 --> 01:11:59,080
People of DuLoc
1234
01:11:59,166 --> 01:12:01,726
we gather here today...
1235
01:12:01,806 --> 01:12:03,762
to bear witness...
1236
01:12:03,846 --> 01:12:05,677
to the union...
1237
01:12:05,766 --> 01:12:08,121
- of our new king...
- Excuse me.
1238
01:12:08,206 --> 01:12:10,766
Could we just skip ahead
to the "I do's"?
1239
01:12:10,846 --> 01:12:12,677
Go on.
1240
01:12:17,526 --> 01:12:20,996
Go ahead, have some fun. If we
need you, I'll whistle. How about that?
1241
01:12:23,526 --> 01:12:25,357
Shrek, wait, wait!
Wait a minute!
1242
01:12:25,446 --> 01:12:28,006
- You wanna do this right, don't you?
- What are you talking about?
1243
01:12:28,086 --> 01:12:29,917
There's a line you gotta wait for.
1244
01:12:30,006 --> 01:12:32,395
The preacher's gonna say, "Speak now
or forever hold your peace."
1245
01:12:32,486 --> 01:12:36,081
- That's when you say, "I object!"
- I don't have time for this!
1246
01:12:36,166 --> 01:12:37,804
Wait. What are you doing?
Listen to me!
1247
01:12:37,886 --> 01:12:39,717
- Look, you love this woman, don't you?
- Yes.
1248
01:12:39,806 --> 01:12:41,034
- You wanna hold her?
- Yes.
1249
01:12:41,126 --> 01:12:43,242
- Please her?
- Yes!
1250
01:12:43,326 --> 01:12:45,840
Then you got to, got to
try a little tenderness
1251
01:12:45,926 --> 01:12:48,565
- The chicks love that romantic crap!
- All right! Cut it out.
1252
01:12:48,646 --> 01:12:52,116
- When does this guy say the line?
- We gotta check it out.
1253
01:12:52,206 --> 01:12:55,243
And so, by the power vested in me,
1254
01:12:55,326 --> 01:12:58,443
- What do you see?
- The whole town's in there.
1255
01:12:58,526 --> 01:13:01,518
- I now pronounce you husband and wife,
- They're at the altar.
1256
01:13:01,606 --> 01:13:04,040
- King and queen.
- Mother Fletcher! He already said it.
1257
01:13:04,126 --> 01:13:06,640
Oh, for the love of Pete!
1258
01:13:07,846 --> 01:13:09,802
I object!
1259
01:13:09,886 --> 01:13:11,877
- Shrek?
1260
01:13:11,966 --> 01:13:13,797
Oh, now what does he want?
1262
01:13:17,246 --> 01:13:20,158
Hi, everyone.
Havin' a good time, are ya?
1263
01:13:20,246 --> 01:13:22,362
I love DuLoc, first of all.
1264
01:13:22,446 --> 01:13:24,835
- Very clean.
- What are you doing here?
1265
01:13:24,926 --> 01:13:27,724
Really, it's rude enough
being alive when no one wants you,
1266
01:13:27,806 --> 01:13:31,003
- but showing up uninvited to a wedding...
- Fiona!
1267
01:13:31,086 --> 01:13:33,964
- I need to talk to you.
- Oh, now you wanna talk?
1268
01:13:34,046 --> 01:13:36,879
It's a little late for that,
so if you'll excuse me...
1269
01:13:36,966 --> 01:13:39,241
- But you can't marry him.
- And why not?
1270
01:13:39,326 --> 01:13:43,035
Because... Because he's just
marrying you so he can be king.
1271
01:13:43,126 --> 01:13:45,401
Outrageous!
Fiona, don't listen to him.
1272
01:13:45,486 --> 01:13:48,956
- He's not your true love.
- And what do you know about true love?
1273
01:13:49,046 --> 01:13:51,321
Well, l... Uh...
1274
01:13:51,406 --> 01:13:54,637
- I mean...
- Oh, this is precious.
1275
01:13:54,726 --> 01:13:59,197
The ogre has fallen in love
with the princess!
1276
01:13:59,286 --> 01:14:01,436
- Oh, good Lord.
1277
01:14:01,526 --> 01:14:03,357
An ogre and a princess!
1279
01:14:08,766 --> 01:14:11,155
Shrek, is this true?
1280
01:14:12,526 --> 01:14:14,960
Who cares?
It's preposterous!
1281
01:14:15,046 --> 01:14:18,516
Fiona, my love, we're but a kiss away
from our "happily ever after."
1282
01:14:18,606 --> 01:14:21,074
Now kiss me!
1283
01:14:25,006 --> 01:14:28,203
By night one way,
by day another .
1284
01:14:30,046 --> 01:14:32,685
I wanted to show you before.
1286
01:14:54,326 --> 01:14:56,760
Well, uh
1287
01:14:56,846 --> 01:14:58,757
that explains a lot.
1288
01:14:58,846 --> 01:15:02,361
Ugh! It's disgusting!
1289
01:15:02,446 --> 01:15:04,402
Guards! Guards!
1290
01:15:04,486 --> 01:15:07,523
I order you to get that
out of my sight now! Get them!
1291
01:15:07,606 --> 01:15:10,279
- Get them both!
- No, no!
1292
01:15:10,366 --> 01:15:13,961
This hocus-pocus alters nothing.
This marriage is binding, and that makes me king!
1293
01:15:14,046 --> 01:15:16,241
- See? See?
- No, let go of me! Shrek!
1294
01:15:16,326 --> 01:15:17,964
- No!
- Don't just stand there, you morons.
1295
01:15:18,046 --> 01:15:20,480
Get out of my way!
Fiona!
1297
01:15:25,526 --> 01:15:28,404
I'll make you regret the day we met.
I'll see you drawn and quartered!
1298
01:15:28,486 --> 01:15:31,284
- You'll beg for death to save you!
- No! Shrek!
1299
01:15:31,366 --> 01:15:34,722
- And as for you, my wife,
- Fiona!
1300
01:15:34,806 --> 01:15:37,366
I'll have you locked back in that tower
for the rest of your days!
1301
01:15:37,446 --> 01:15:39,198
I am king!
1302
01:15:39,286 --> 01:15:42,915
I will have order!
I will have perfection! I will have...
1304
01:15:47,166 --> 01:15:49,805
All right. Nobody move.
1305
01:15:49,886 --> 01:15:51,877
I got a dragon here,
and I'm not afraid to use it.
1306
01:15:51,966 --> 01:15:54,480
I'm a donkey on the edge!
1308
01:15:58,966 --> 01:16:01,275
Celebrity marriages.
They never last, do they?
1310
01:16:03,366 --> 01:16:05,118
Go ahead, Shrek.
1311
01:16:06,446 --> 01:16:08,641
Uh, Fiona?
1312
01:16:09,726 --> 01:16:11,842
Yes, Shrek?
1313
01:16:11,926 --> 01:16:15,805
l... I love you.
1314
01:16:15,886 --> 01:16:18,036
Really?
1315
01:16:19,086 --> 01:16:21,964
Really, really.
1316
01:16:22,046 --> 01:16:23,877
I love you too.
1318
01:16:32,566 --> 01:16:35,683
"Until you
find true love's first kiss...
1319
01:16:35,766 --> 01:16:38,917
and then take love's true form .
1320
01:17:01,526 --> 01:17:04,324
Take love's true form.
Take love's true form .
1321
01:17:10,246 --> 01:17:12,635
Fiona?
1322
01:17:15,046 --> 01:17:17,514
Fiona.
1323
01:17:17,606 --> 01:17:20,040
Are you all right?
1324
01:17:20,126 --> 01:17:21,957
Well, yes.
1325
01:17:22,046 --> 01:17:25,163
But I don't understand.
1326
01:17:25,246 --> 01:17:27,282
I'm supposed to be beautiful.
1327
01:17:29,886 --> 01:17:32,036
But you are beautiful.
1329
01:17:34,486 --> 01:17:36,841
I was hoping this would be
a happy ending.
1367
01:19:32,926 --> 01:19:35,076
Oh, that's funny.
1368
01:19:35,166 --> 01:19:37,680
I can't breathe.
I can't breathe.