by Anne Tyler

Simplified by Susan Maingay

General Editors: A n d y H o p k i n s and Jocelyn Potter
Addison Wesley Longman Limited
Edinburgh Gate, Harlow,
Essex CM20 2JE, England
and Associated Companies throughout the world.

©Anne Tyler 1985

This edition © Addison Wesley Longman Limited 1998

The right of Anne Tyler to be identified as author of The

Accidental Tourist has been asserted by her in accordance
with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved; no part of this publication

may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system,
or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic,
mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise,
without the prior written permission of the Publishers.

This edition first published in Longman Fiction 1998

Second impression 1999
ISBN 0 582 27855 4

Set in Adobe Granjon 11.5pt

Printed in China
GCC/02

Acknowledgements

We are grateful to Addison Wesley Longman Limited

for permission to use in the Word List definitions
adapted from the Longman Active Study Dictionary
of English © Longman Group UK Limited (1991).

Illustrations by Mark Shattock

Cover photographs © Addison Wesley Longman Limited/Gareth Boden,
Bruce Coleman Ltd/Jane Burton, Phoronica/SOA/Keo Muto,
Telegraph Colour Library
Cover design by Sage Associates
Introduction

Chapter 1 Macon Alone 1

Chapter 2 A Difficult D o g 8
Chapter 3 Muriel 17

Chapter 4 Sarah 25

Chapter 5 N e w York 32
Chapter 6 Macon and Muriel 38
Chapter 7 A N e w K i n d of Life 48

Chapter 8 Alexander 56

Chapter 9 Rose's W e d d i n g 63

Chapter 10 Coming H o m e 70
Chapter 11 Paris 75

Word List 86
Activities 87
A n n e Tyler is o n e of America's b e s t - k n o w n living writers of
fiction. She was born in Minneapolis in 1941. She g r e w u p , t h o u g h ,
in N o r t h Carolina, a n d she studied Russian at D u k e University in
the same state. W h i l e she was t h e r e , she b e c a m e k n o w n for her
story writing. She left in 1961, at the age of nineteen, b u t she
continued to study at C o l u m b i a University in N e w York. T h e n she
returned to D u k e University, to a job in the library. She m e t the
Iranian writer Taghi Modarressi, and they m a r r i e d in 1963.
Together they m o v e d to C a n a d a . In M o n t r e a l , Tyler w o r k e d in
McGill University's L a w Library. She a n d her h u s b a n d n o w live in
Baltimore. T h e y have t w o d a u g h t e r s , w h o are both artists.
A n n e Tyler has w r i t t e n thirteen books a n d a n u m b e r of short
stories. Most of the action in her books takes place in Baltimore or
in small t o w n s in the s o u t h e r n U n i t e d States. H e r early books (If
Morning Ever Comes (1964), The Tin Can Tree (1965) a n d A Slipping
Down Life (1970)) all describe people w h o face u n h a p p i n e s s a n d
loneliness inside their families. T h e writer r e t u r n s to the subject of
family life again a n d again in her w o r k . In her later books (The
Clock Winder (1972), Earthly Possessions (1977), Morgan's Passing
(1980), Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant (1982) a n d Ladder of Years
(1995)) people love their families deeply but, at the same time, w a n t
to get away from t h e m . Breathing Lessons (1988) tells of a single day
in the m a r r i a g e of Ira a n d M a g g i e M o r a n .
The Accidental Tourist (1985) is a n o t h e r story of family life in the
U S A today. It looks at t w o families w h o choose to live their lives in
different ways. F o r one family, life is q u i e t a n d surprises are
The Accidental Tourist

u n w e l c o m e ; the other family seems to enjoy disorder, noise and the

unexpected.
Macon Leary is a writer of travel guides w h o hates travelling.
At h o m e he has an o r d e r e d existence. But his son is killed in a
shooting at a restaurant. T h e n his wife leaves h i m , and he finds
himself alone. H i s son's d o g , E d w a r d , refuses to listen to h i m . (The
dog, A n n e Tyler says, comes from real life: her o w n family had a
very protective a n i m a l like h i m . T h e d o g succeeded in keeping
visitors o u t of the house, b u t it also kept all the family in!)
M a c o n t u r n s for help to Muriel, the loud a n d colourful dog
trainer from the M e o w - B o w A n i m a l H o s p i t a l . T h e story of
M a c o n , M u r i e l a n d Macon's wife, Sarah, is a journey of self-
discovery for t h e m all.
The Accidental Tourist was already a successful book when it
was m a d e into a very popular film, with the actors William Hurt,
G e e n a Davis a n d K a t h l e e n T u r n e r .
Macon Alone

After his wife left h i m , M a c o n felt very strange. He was surprised

that the house d i d n ' t seem larger now. But it d i d n ' t . In fact, it felt
more c r o w d e d . T h e w i n d o w s became smaller, the r o o m s became
lower. He felt too tall.
N o w he had a chance to change things in the house. It was
important to keep things tidy. Sarah never u n d e r s t o o d this. A n d
she washed the dishes too often. T h a t used too m u c h water. M a c o n
thought it was i m p o r t a n t to save water. He started to w a s h the
dishes only three times a week. He also began to have his bath at
night, before he w e n t to bed. In this way he could wash his clothes
in the same water. He k n e w this all m a d e sense. But sometimes he
felt that Sarah was in the r o o m w i t h h i m . She was w a t c h i n g h i m
and laughing.
Most of his w o r k was d o n e at h o m e . P e r h a p s he w o r r i e d so
much about k e e p i n g his house tidy for that reason. M a c o n w a s a
writer of travel books, g u i d e b o o k s for business people. T h i s
sometimes seemed very strange to h i m , because M a c o n h a t e d
travel. But he w r o t e for people w h o also hated travel. H i s readers
only travelled because they h a d to. W h e n they w e r e in a foreign
city, they w a n t e d to be at h o m e . T h e y w a n t e d to feel that they were
really in A m e r i c a . In his g u i d e b o o k s — Accidental Tourist in
France, Accidental Tourist in Germany — Macon helped t h e m to do
this. "I am happy to say," he w r o t e , " t h a t it is possible n o w to buy
Kentucky F r i e d C h i c k e n in S t o c k h o l m . "
"Of course I ' m all right," he told his sister on the telephone.
" N o , she d i d n ' t leave m e . We discussed it like adults a n d decided
not to live together. T h a t ' s all." But t i m e passed a n d Macon did not
The Accidental Tourist

feel any better. He began to ask himself if the u n h a p p i n e s s was ever

going to end. He d i d n ' t eat real meals any m o r e . W h e n he was
h u n g r y he d r a n k a glass of m i l k . Or he ate some ice cream. He
seemed to be losing w e i g h t a n d his hair g r e w long.
Of course he was all right — but his nights w e r e terrible.
H e d r e a m e d o f E t h a n . E t h a n w e n t t o s u m m e r c a m p when he
was twelve — a year ago almost exactly. He was in the top age
g r o u p — a tall, fair-haired boy with an open, friendly face.
D o n ' t t h i n k a b o u t it.
He was killed in a B u r g e r B o n a n z a r e s t a u r a n t on his second
night at c a m p . It was h a r d to u n d e r s t a n d . T h e m a n w h o killed
E t h a n did not c o m e to the r e s t a u r a n t to kill. He came to steal. He
took the m o n e y a n d was ready to leave. But before he went he
decided to shoot every person there t h r o u g h the back of the head.
T h e people in the s u m m e r c a m p did not k n o w that E t h a n was in
t h e r e s t a u r a n t w i t h a friend. T h e y t h o u g h t that he was safely in his
tent. W h y d i d n ' t they check? A n d w h y did Sarah let E t h a n leave
h o m e ? W h y did M a c o n agree? W h y did E t h a n . . . ?
D o n ' t t h i n k a b o u t it.
In the d a y t i m e he c o n t i n u e d with his w o r k . H i s publisher
telephoned. It was time to go to L o n d o n again. It was time to
rewrite his g u i d e b o o k , Accidental Tourist in England.

He left for the airport t w o h o u r s early because he hated being in

a hurry. He called the d o g , a Welsh corgi.* T h e d o g was going with
h i m to the vet's, b u t the little a n i m a l did not k n o w that yet. He sat
next to M a c o n happily in the car, w a i t i n g for his walk. Macon
talked to h i m calmly. " H o t , isn't it, E d w a r d ? Do you want the

* Welsh corgi: a k i n d of d o g . Corgis are small and have very short legs.
 Macon Alone

w i n d o w open? T h e r e , now. A r e you feeling b e t t e r ? " He h e a r d a

false note in his voice. P e r h a p s E d w a r d did too, because he stopped
looking happy. M a c o n decided to say no m o r e .
At the vet's E d w a r d refused to get out of the car, a n d M a c o n h a d
to pull h i m all the way to the building. In the w a i t i n g r o o m the d o g
complained loudly, while the girl gave Macon a form to complete.
"Have you been here before?" she asked.
"Yes, often."
"What's your last n a m e ? "
"Leary."
"Leary, Leary," she said l o o k i n g t h r o u g h her cards. " O h . . .
E d w a r d ? O n Rayford R o a d ? "
"That's right."
"Sorry, we can't accept h i m . It says here that he bit someone."
"Nobody told me that."
"Well we can't t a k e h i m . I ' m only following o r d e r s . "
"And why did he bite? D i d a n y o n e try to find out? P e r h a p s he
had a good reason."
E d w a r d was l o o k i n g u p w i t h interest. He seemed to be
following the conversation.
"Ah, this is silly," M a c o n said. " C o m e on, E d w a r d . "
E d w a r d ran in front of h i m all the way back to the car.
" W h a t can I do n o w ? " t h o u g h t M a c o n . In fact, people often
complained about E d w a r d . Last w e e k , for e x a m p l e , his b r o t h e r
came to b o r r o w his car a n d E d w a r d b a r k e d at h i m a n d s h o w e d his
teeth. "What's the m a t t e r w i t h h i m ? " said Charles.
Macon d i d n ' t k n o w m u c h about dogs. H e preferred cats. But
now he was often alone, a n d he t h o u g h t a b o u t E d w a r d m o r e . He
talked to him. S o m e t i m e s he just sat s t u d y i n g h i m . He liked
Edward's intelligent b r o w n eyes. E d w a r d was Ethan's dog.
Macon started to drive h o m e now. He could not decide w h a t to
The Accidental Tourist

do. " M e o w - B o w A n i m a l H o s p i t a l " said a sign across the street.

M a c o n stopped a n d E d w a r d fell off his seat. "Sorry," said Macon.
In the w a i t i n g r o o m was a thin y o u n g w o m a n w i t h black hair.
" H i there," she said to Macon.
" D o you look after d o g s ? "
"Yes, we d o . "
" C a n you take E d w a r d ? "
She looked at E d w a r d a n d he looked back cheerfully. He did
not k n o w w h a t k i n d of a place this was. T h e w o m a n t h o u g h t about
it. H e r eyes w e r e very small a n d her face was thin a n d colourless.
"Please," M a c o n said. "I have to catch a plane. I ' m leaving for a
w e e k . I d o n ' t k n o w a n y o n e w h o can look after h i m . "
" C a n ' t you leave h i m at h o m e w i t h your wife?" she asked.
" W h y do you t h i n k I am s t a n d i n g h e r e ? "
" O h , " she said. "You're not m a r r i e d ? "
"Well, I a m , but she's . . . n o t living at h o m e . "
"Oh."
She c a m e out from b e h i n d the desk. She was w e a r i n g a short
red skirt; her legs w e r e like sticks.
" A n d I have a place w h e r e I usually put h i m , " Macon said. "But
n o w they tell me t h a t he bites. T h e y say they can't accept him any
m o r e . " P e r h a p s it was a m i s t a k e to say this to the w o m a n ! Perhaps
she, too, was g o i n g to refuse to t a k e the dog.
" E d w a r d , do you b i t e ? " the w o m a n said. " H o w can you do such
a t h i n g ? " E d w a r d looked up at her happily a n d put his ears back.
H e was inviting her t o touch h i m . She p u t her h a n d d o w n and
touched his head.
"So will you k e e p h i m ? " M a c o n asked.
" O h , well yes," she said.

In L o n d o n he stayed at the Jones T e r r a c e H o t e l . W h e n he

 Macon Alone

" E d w a r d , d o you b i t e ? "

The Accidental Tourist

arrived, he c h a n g e d his clothes. T h e n he w e n t out for breakfast.

Breakfast was the meal w h i c h business people usually h a d to find
for themselves. Because of this he always gave a lot of space to it in
his books. He w a l k e d to t h e Yankee Delight, w h e r e he ordered
eggs a n d coffee. T h e service here was excellent; the coffee came
quickly a n d it was nice a n d hot. T h e eggs d i d n ' t taste like the eggs
at h o m e , b u t t h e n they never did. He put a good m a r k against the
Y a n k e e D e l i g h t in his book.
He paid his bill a n d w e n t d o w n the street to the N e w America,
w h e r e he o r d e r e d m o r e eggs a n d m o r e coffee. " W i t h cream," he
a d d e d . T h e waiter said they d i d n ' t have any real cream. " O h , don't
y o u ? " M a c o n said. He m a d e a note in his g u i d e b o o k .
In the afternoon he visited several of the hotels on his list,
looking at b e d r o o m s , b a t h r o o m s a n d toilets. H e m a d e m o r e notes
in his book. In the e v e n i n g he h a d supper at a cafe called My
American Friend.

By the end of the trip he was ready to go h o m e . He arrived at

the a i r p o r t early a n d got a seat by the w i n d o w for the flight to N e w
York. He r e m e m b e r e d that once, after a trip to Japan, Sarah met
h i m in N e w York. It was his b i r t h d a y a n d she was w a i t i n g for him
with a bottle of w i n e . But she w a s n o t w a i t i n g for h i m this time, not
in N e w York a n d not in Baltimore. P e r h a p s she was at h o m e .
He collected his car a n d drove to the M e o w - B o w . H e pushed
the bell and a girl c a m e out of the office.
"Yes?" she said.
" I ' m h e r e for my d o g . "
"Your last n a m e ? "
"Leary."
" O h , " she said. "Just a m i n u t e . "
T h e girl w e n t away a n d the other one came out. T h i s evening
 Macon Alone

she wore a black dress w i t h big p i n k flowers.

"Well, hi t h e r e ! " she said. " H o w was your t r i p ? "
" O h it was . . . where's E d w a r d ? Isn't he all r i g h t ? "
"He's fine. He was so good a n d friendly!"
"Well fine," M a c o n said.
" H e seems to like m e . I can't say why."
"That's very good," Macon said. He c o u g h e d . "So, can I have
him back, please?"
"Caroline will b r i n g h i m . "
"Ah."
T h e r e was a silence. T h e w o m a n waited, l o o k i n g at h i m w i t h a
smile. H e r hps w e r e painted d a r k red, almost black.
" U m , " Macon said finally. " P e r h a p s I could pay."
"Oh, yes. T h a t ' l l be forty-two dollars," she said.
She took Macon's card, t h e n watched h i m w r i t e his n a m e a n d
telephone n u m b e r . "Is t h a t y o u r h o m e t e l e p h o n e , o r y o u r
business?" she asked.
"It's both. W h y ? "
"Oh, no special reason," she said. "By the way, I train dogs. I am
very good with dogs that bite."
At that m o m e n t M a c o n h e a r d a noise behind the door and then
E d w a r d ran in. H e was followed by the other girl. He was j u m p i n g
and b a r k i n g a n d very pleased to see Macon.
"I can train all k i n d s of dogs," c o n t i n u e d the girl. " O f course
E d w a r d fell in love w i t h me — I told you that."
"I'm pleased to hear it," M a c o n said.
"But I can train h i m not to bite other people. T h i n k a b o u t it.
Telephone me if you need m e . M u r i e l , r e m e m b e r . Muriel Pritchett.
Let me give you my card."
She gave h i m a pink business card, w h i c h he took.
" T h a n k you very m u c h , " M a c o n said.
The Accidental Tourist

" O r just call for no reason. Call a n d talk."

"Talk?"
"Yes. Talk a b o u t E d w a r d and his p r o b l e m s , talk about . ..
a n y t h i n g ! Pick up the telephone a n d just talk. D o n ' t you ever feel
like d o i n g t h a t ? "
" N o t really," M a c o n said.
T h e n E d w a r d b a r k e d a n d the t w o o f t h e m h u r r i e d h o m e .
Well, of course Sarah wasn't there. T h e house smelled empty.
So he w e n t upstairs to u n p a c k his case. T h e n he had a bath and
p r e p a r e d for bed. It was not very different from being in a hotel, he
t h o u g h t . Accidental Tourist at Home.

A Difficult Dog

T h e telephone rang. Macon d r e a m t E t h a n was calling him from

the c a m p . He was a s k i n g w h y they did not c o m e to collect him.
"But we t h o u g h t you w e r e d e a d , " M a c o n said. E t h a n replied in his
y o u n g , high voice, " H o w can you t h i n k t h a t ? " T h e n the telephone
r a n g again a n d M a c o n w o k e u p .
"Yes," he said.
"Macon! W e l c o m e b a c k ! "
It was Julian E d g e , Macon's publisher. He was loud and
cheerful even at this early h o u r in the m o r n i n g .
" O h , " M a c o n said.
" H o w was the t r i p ? "
"It was O K . "
" D i d you find any great n e w places?"
 A Difficult Dog

"Well, 'great' is a bit s t r o n g . . ."

"So, have you started w r i t i n g the n e w m a t e r i a l for the
guidebook? W h e n do you t h i n k it will be ready for m e ? "
"I don't k n o w . "
T h e r e was a short silence.
"Were you asleep w h e n I called?" Julian asked.
"Yes."
"Ah." T h e r e was a n o t h e r short silence. "So can I have the n e w
material by the e n d of the m o n t h ? "
" N o , " said Macon.
"Why not?"
"I can't do it."
Macon listened to himself a n d was surprised by his o w n voice.
It sounded flat and dull. P e r h a p s Julian felt this too because he
asked, "Hey, are you O K ? "
"Yes. I'm fine," said Macon. "Just fine. I'll give you the n e w
material by the m i d d l e of next m o n t h . All r i g h t ? "
But he found it very difficult to w o r k on his book. He felt lonely
in that big house w i t h just E d w a r d a n d the cat. He missed Sarah a
lot. He did his best for a few weeks. He k e p t the house tidy a n d
looked after the animals. T h e n one day he fell d o w n the stairs a n d
broke his leg. He was pleased to have a reason to leave the house.
He went to stay w i t h his sister, Rose. She lived in the old Leary
family house with their t w o b r o t h e r s , P o r t e r a n d C h a r l e s . At the
moment Rose, w h o was not m a r r i e d , was l o o k i n g after t h e m . T h e y
were both divorced. F a m i l y was very i m p o r t a n t to Rose, a n d she
seemed to enjoy looking after her brothers.
Every m o r n i n g , after P o r t e r a n d C h a r l e s left for w o r k , Rose
went upstairs to clean the b e d r o o m s . M a c o n tried to w r i t e his n e w
material for the g u i d e b o o k .
Writing was m u c h m o r e difficult t h a n before. He spent a lot of
The Accidental Tourist

t i m e just d r e a m i n g . He d r e a m t about the time w h e n he was a

y o u n g boy. H e t h o u g h t a b o u t his f i r s t m e e t i n g w i t h Sarah.
N o b o d y k n e w w h e r e he was — not Julian, not Sarah, nobody.
H e liked that.
" W h y can't things stay like this for a t i m e ? " he asked Rose.
"Well — w h y can't t h e y ? "
" O h , you k n o w . S o m e o n e will call here, Sarah or someone . . . "
" P e r h a p s we could just not a n s w e r the telephone."
" W h a t ? Just let it r i n g ? "
"Why not?"
" N o t a n s w e r it at a l l ? "
"Most people w h o call me are n e i g h b o u r s . If we d o n ' t answer,
they will c o m e h e r e to see us."
" T h a t ' s t r u e , " said Macon.
S o m e t i m e s in the day he h e a r d the telephone ring. O n e ring,
t w o rings, t h r e e rings. Rose d i d n ' t even seem to hear.
"But if it's u r g e n t ? " M a c o n asked.
" N o b o d y calls us if it's u r g e n t , " Rose said.
M a c o n t h o u g h t about Rose a n d her past life. F o r m a n y years she
looked after her g r a n d p a r e n t s . W h e n Charles's m a r r i a g e ended, he
came to live w i t h Rose. T h e n P o r t e r did the same. E v e r y o n e came
to Rose w h e n they h a d p r o b l e m s . She liked to help.
Rose was clever and she w o r k e d very h a r d . "But does she k n o w
that she lives a rather strange life?" Macon asked himself. "She has
no job a n d no h u s b a n d a n d she spends her life at h o m e . "
In the evening, w h e n his brothers came h o m e from w o r k , the
four of t h e m had supper together. T h e y ate meals that they enjoyed
w h e n they w e r e children. L a t e r they played all the old family card
g a m e s together. Macon looked at the small g r o u p of his brothers
and sister a n d felt almost frightened. E v e r y t h i n g was the same.
N o t h i n g was different. A n d here he was too, just the same. " W h a t
 A Difficult Dog

have I d o n e ? " he asked himself. " W h y have I come b a c k ? "

T h e telephone r a n g several times, b u t nobody a n s w e r e d it.

" H e l p ! H e l p ! Call your d o g ! "

Macon stopped w r i t i n g a n d lifted his head. But E d w a r d was
out walking with Porter. It was probably some other dog.
"Come and get your d o g ! "
Macon w e n t to the w i n d o w . T h e r e was somebody in the tree in
the garden. E d w a r d was s t a n d i n g at the b o t t o m , b a r k i n g .
" E d w a r d , stop that."
E d w a r d did not stop.
"Come here n o w ! "
E d w a r d continued b a r k i n g .
Macon came out of the house a n d w a l k e d slowly to the tree. H i s
leg hurt a lot.
" W h o is i t ? " he asked.
"It's your boss, Macon. It's Julian."
Julian came d o w n from the tree. H i s trousers w e r e dirty a n d his
fair hair was very untidy.
"Macon," he said, "I really hate people w h o have difficult dogs.
I don't just hate the dog. I hate the people."
"Well, I ' m sorry a b o u t that. I t h o u g h t he was o u t w a l k i n g . "
"Does he go for w a l k s a l o n e ? "
" N o , no . . . W i t h my brother," M a c o n explained.
" W h a t happened to y o u r l e g ? " Julian c h a n g e d the subject.
"I broke it."
"Well, I can see that, b u t h o w ? "
Macon told h i m the story while they w a l k e d t o w a r d s the house.
" H o w did you find m e ? " he asked Julian.
"Why do you ask? A r e you h i d i n g ? "
" N o , of course not," said M a c o n quickly.
The Accidental Tourist

" H e l p ! H e l p ! Call your d o g ! "

 A Difficult Dog

"Your n e i g h b o u r told me w h e r e you were. W h e r e ' s S a r a h ? "

"Who?"
"Your wife, M a c o n . "
"Oh. She a n d I are . . . "
He did not k n o w h o w to say it out loud. T h e w o r d "separated"
was too hard. He w a l k e d over to the chair a n d sat d o w n . T h e n he
said, "She's got a flat in t o w n . "
"You're s e p a r a t e d ? "
"Yes."
"I can't believe it!"
E d w a r d p u t his nose in Macon's h a n d , a s k i n g to be touched.
Macon was pleased to have s o m e t h i n g to do.
"Macon, w h a t w e n t w r o n g ? "
" N o t h i n g ! " M a c o n told h i m . H i s voice was a little too loud. He
spoke more softly. "I m e a n , that's not s o m e t h i n g I can answer."
"Oh, I'm sorry . . ."
"No, I mean there is no answer. S o m e t i m e s these things have no
real reason."
"Well it's been difficult for you both . . . w i t h w h a t h a p p e n e d
and everything . .. P e r h a p s she will come back . . ."
"Perhaps," said Macon. "So w h a t did you t h i n k of the n e w
material?"
They looked at the n e w pages together. Julian t h o u g h t they
were good.
" W h e n this is finished, I w a n t you to start on the U S A again.
You need to m a k e trips to Boston, Atlanta, Chicago."
He stood up a n d M a c o n did too. E d w a r d saw that s o m e o n e was
leaving. He ran into the living r o o m , b a r k i n g . W h e n they reached
the front door, E d w a r d stood in front of it. N o b o d y could leave.
"Now then, E d w a r d . " Macon p u t his h a n d d o w n to hold the d o g
and E d w a r d bit h i m .
The Accidental Tourist

" M a c o n , did he get y o u ? " Julian asked.

M a c o n looked d o w n at his h a n d . T h e r e w e r e four red m a r k s on
it — t w o on the front, t w o on the back — b u t there was no blood.
" I ' m all right," he said.
"I d o n ' t like dogs like that. He should be shot," Julian said.
" H e was just t r y i n g to protect m e . W h y d o n ' t you go now,
Julian, while he's c a l m ? "
" A r e you sure you're all r i g h t ? "
"Just go."
Macon w e n t into the k i t c h e n w h e r e Rose was w o r k i n g with
P o r t e r a n d C h a r l e s . T h e y w e r e p u t t i n g the s h o p p i n g on the
shelves. E v e r y t h i n g h a d to be in the right order. " A " came first, and
t h e n " B " a n d so on. Bread a n d beer w e r e together on the same
shelf; cake a n d chocolate w e r e next to t h e m . M a c o n sometimes
t h o u g h t this was rather strange. O t h e r people, he guessed, didn't
do this.
"Rose," he said. "It seems E d w a r d has given me a little bite."
" O h M a c o n ! H o w did i t h a p p e n ? "
"It was an accident, that's all."
"You can't keep that dog. He's terrible," said Charles.
T h e y all looked at E d w a r d , w h o looked at t h e m nervously.
"You k n o w I like the cat," said Rose. "But E d w a r d is just so
difficult. Every day he gets worse."
" P e r h a p s you can give h i m to somebody," said Charles.
" O h never! H e likes sleeping near m e . "
A n d h e was E t h a n ' s dog. At one time E t h a n b r u s h e d him,
b a t h e d h i m , fought on the floor w i t h h i m . T h e t w o of them
w a t c h e d at the w i n d o w for the daily newspaper. W h e n it arrived,
E t h a n sent E d w a r d out to get it. E t h a n picked up a tennis ball to
t h r o w a n d E d w a r d began t o dance with excitement.
"I just can't," M a c o n said.
 A Difficult Dog

"It seems E d w a r d has given me a little bite."

The Accidental Tourist

T h e r e was a silence.
" W h y d o n ' t you call the w o m a n from the vet's w h e r e Edward
w e n t before? You k n o w , w h e n you w e r e in E n g l a n d ? " Rose asked.
" T h e w o m a n from M e o w - B o w ? P e r h a p s I will," Macon said.
It was not possible, of course. T h e w o m a n was too strange. But
he did not w a n t to discuss it w i t h Rose now.

On S u n d a y m o r n i n g E d w a r d tried to attack a n e i g h b o u r who

c a m e to b o r r o w some sugar. On S u n d a y afternoon he tried to stop
P o r t e r leaving the house. P o r t e r had to leave secretly by the back
door. " W h e n are you g o i n g to call that w o m a n ? " P o r t e r asked. On
M o n d a y m o r n i n g , w h e n E d w a r d w e n t for a walk, he ran after a
girl on a bicycle. W h e n Rose came h o m e w i t h h i m , she asked,
" H a v e you called the M e o w - B o w y e t ? " H e r voice was very quiet.

"Meow-Bow Animal Hospital."

"Is, ah, Muriel there please?"
" O n e m i n u t e , please."
H e waited, then Muriel picked u p the telephone. " H e l l o ? "
"Yes, this is Macon Leary. I don't k n o w if you r e m e m b e r me ..."
" O h , M a c o n ! H i there! H o w ' s E d w a r d ? "
"Well, he's g e t t i n g worse. He's a t t a c k i n g everybody. Do you
t h i n k you can h e l p ? "
"Yes, I can help."
" O h that's great," Macon said.
"I can do a n y t h i n g w i t h dogs."
" E d w a r d just w a n t s to protect m e . "
"Yes, well, you can have too m u c h protection. I'll come five or
six times a w e e k until he's trained. It will be five dollars a lesson.
Usually I t a k e ten dollars."
" T h e n w h y not ten for m e ? " M a c o n asked.
 Muriel

"Oh no. You're a friend."

He did not u n d e r s t a n d , b u t they agreed a t i m e a n d he gave her
his address. "But look, about the cost n o w "
"See you t o m o r r o w , " she said, a n d p u t the telephone d o w n .
At supper that n i g h t he told the others a n d they seemed
surprised. Porter said, "You m e a n you really t e l e p h o n e d ? "
"Yes, why n o t ? " M a c o n said.
They continued eating.

Muriel

"When I was a little girl," Muriel said, "I d i d n ' t like animals." She
had a voice that w e n t too far up a n d too far d o w n . O n e m i n u t e it
was very high, the next m i n u t e it d r o p p e d very low. "My family
gave me a dog. But then they took it away because I was
frightened."
She and Macon w e r e s t a n d i n g in the hall w i t h E d w a r d . W h e n
Muriel arrived, E d w a r d ran to her. But she just told h i m to sit
down and pushed h i m w i t h her long fingers. He sat in front of her,
looking surprised a n d u n h a p p y . " N o w you tell h i m that he is d o i n g
well," she told Macon. " H e will soon learn."
Muriel talked a lot. First she started t a l k i n g a b o u t her plans for
training E d w a r d . T h e n , suddenly, she began to describe her early
life. "My hair was very fair w h e n I was a baby," she said. "It was
almost white. A n d I h a d blue eyes. E v e r y b o d y said I was so
beautiful. T h e y said I was pretty e n o u g h to be a film actress."
Edward m a d e a noise b u t Muriel did not look at h i m .
The Accidental Tourist

" T h e n one day I w o k e up in the m o r n i n g a n d my hair was dark.

It was n o t h i n g special any m o r e . A n d my eyes w e r e b r o w n . My
m o t h e r said it was terrible. I was just b o r i n g old Muriel."
M a c o n felt she was w a i t i n g for h i m to say s o m e t h i n g . But he
was w o r r i e d a b o u t E d w a r d . " O h , well . . ." he said. "Perhaps we
should let h i m stand up n o w ? "
"Stand up? O h , the dog. In a m i n u t e , " she said. "But my hair is
a real p r o b l e m . I tried to colour it, b u t s o m e t h i n g w e n t wrong.
N o w it's this strange colour. W h a t d o you t h i n k ? "
"Well p e r h a p s you could wash it a lot — until the colour goes
away," said M a c o n .
" O h . . . well, p e r h a p s , " she said. But she seemed to lose interest
in the p r o b l e m . " O K , " she said to E d w a r d , "that was very good."
Edward jumped up, barking.
It seemed so easy that Macon felt a little angry.
Muriel held out her h a n d a n d pointed at E d w a r d . After a short
pause he sat.
" N o w you try," Muriel told Macon w h e n the d o g stood up.
Macon pointed at E d w a r d ' s back. He did not m o v e . Macon felt
silly, a n d pointed again. N o t h i n g h a p p e n e d .
" P u s h h i m , " said Muriel.
M a c o n p u s h e d a n d E d w a r d sat. " G o o d dog," he said, but
E d w a r d stood up again quickly. Muriel m a d e a noise between her
teeth a n d E d w a r d sat d o w n again.
" H e doesn't believe you w h e n you tell h i m to do something,"
Muriel said.
"Well, I k n o w that."
Macon's b r o k e n leg was starting to h u r t .
"So, I d i d n ' t have any animals w h e n I was g r o w i n g up," said
Muriel. " T h e n I m e t a m a n w h o trained dogs. I told h i m I didn't
really like a n i m a l s . He said it d i d n ' t matter. In the end he told me
 Muriel

that I was his very best pupil. So then I got a job w i t h the M e o w -
Bow. Who's that lady w a l k i n g t h r o u g h your k i t c h e n ? "
"That's Rose."
"Is she your wife?"
"She's my sister! T h i s house is hers," Macon said.
"I don't live with anybody either," Muriel told h i m .
Macon felt surprised. W h y was she saying this? D i d n ' t he tell
her that he lived with his sister?
"Sometimes late at n i g h t I telephone the s p e a k i n g clock. I do it
just to talk to somebody," Muriel said. " T h e time will be eleven . . .
forty-nine exactly. You can tell h i m to stand up now."
"What?"
"Your dog. He can stand u p . "
Macon m a d e a sign a n d E d w a r d j u m p e d u p .
"So what do you d o ? " Muriel asked.
Macon said, "I w r i t e g u i d e b o o k s . "
"Guidebooks! Lucky."
"Why is it l u c k y ? "
"Well, it m e a n s you have to travel to all k i n d s of places!"
"Oh w e l l . . . t r a v e l . . ." Macon said.
"I love travel, but I d o n ' t travel very often. I've never been on a
plane. Can you believe t h a t ? "
"It's not very interesting really. Tickets, airports, stations . . .
Why is E d w a r d b a r k i n g ? "
Muriel looked at E d w a r d a n d he became quiet.
"I would like to go to Paris," she said.
"Paris is terrible. Everybody's r u d e . "
"I just think it s o u n d s so r o m a n t i c . "
"Well it's not," M a c o n said.
"Take me with you next t i m e ! I'll s h o w you the good parts."
Macon looked away. " E r . . . w e l l . . . I never even took my wife,
The Accidental Tourist

or, u m , my . . . wife."
"I was only j o k i n g , " she told h i m .
"Oh."
" D i d you t h i n k I m e a n t i t ? "
"Oh, no."
" T h a t ' s five dollars," Muriel said. "You have to practise what
he's learnt. Do it yourself now. I'll come back t o m o r r o w for the
second lesson."
W h e n Muriel left, E d w a r d j u m p e d up a n d attacked the front
door.

All that afternoon a n d evening E d w a r d and M a c o n practised.

Rose a n d the family watched with interest.
" E d w a r d ' s trainer is a very strange lady," Rose told Charles and
Porter. "She talks all the t i m e , a n d she's very, very t h i n ! "
D u r i n g the e v e n i n g E d w a r d ate a pencil, stole some m e a t from
a dish on the d i n n e r table a n d was sick on the kitchen floor.

" W h e n I was in h i g h school, I was top of my class," Muriel said.

"You're surprised, aren't y o u ? "
" N o , I ' m not," said Macon. But he was.
T h e y w e r e in front of the house a n d it was raining. Muriel said
she was teaching E d w a r d to walk correctly. But she continued
t a l k i n g a b o u t her days in school.
" S o m e of my teachers said I should go to university," she said.
"But I didn't. I d o n ' t k n o w . . . a n d n o w I tell my sister: 'You go to
university. D o n ' t be silly like I was.' Claire's hair is fair. My parents
t h i n k she's the best. She's the good one a n d I ' m the bad one."
She looked d o w n at E d w a r d . " H e has to walk at my speed.
Slow, fast, a n y t h i n g I d o . " She w a l k e d m o r e quickly and Edward
followed. "I t h i n k he u n d e r s t a n d s . N o w you, Macon. A n d don't
 Muriel

forget to tell h i m w h e n he does it right!"

Macon w a l k e d in front with E d w a r d . He tried to forget that his
leg hurt. He tried not to t h i n k a b o u t Sarah.
"Everybody asks m e , ' W h a t k i n d of d o g do you h a v e ? ' But I
don't have a dog. I had one w h e n I was m a r r i e d . It was my
husband's dog, Spook. Spook ran away in the first week after we
were married. I t h i n k he hated m e . "
"Oh, surely not," Macon said.
"Yes," she said. " A n d N o r m a n couldn't u n d e r s t a n d . T h e d o g
never did that before. We w e r e very y o u n g to get m a r r i e d . I was
seventeen. N o r m a n was eighteen. H i s m o t h e r t h o u g h t I was bad
for him. N o w it's time to m a k e E d w a r d lie d o w n . "
" W h a t ? " said Macon.
"Edward. We have to teach h i m to lie d o w n . "
But E d w a r d seemed to have different ideas. He lay d o w n w h e n
Muriel told h i m . But he stood up again quickly. He looked at
Muriel and Macon a n d seemed to be l a u g h i n g at t h e m .
"He needs to practise. I w o n ' t c o m e t o m o r r o w , b u t I'll c o m e
again on Saturday," said Muriel.

All afternoon and evening E d w a r d refused to lie d o w n . T h e n

on Friday m o r n i n g he attacked the p o s t m a n . In the afternoon
Macon called the M e o w - B o w .
"May I speak to Muriel, please?"
"Muriel's not w o r k i n g today. H e r little boy is ill."
He didn't k n o w she had a little boy.
"Well, thank you. I'll talk to h e r t o m o r r o w . "

When she arrived on Saturday, E d w a r d d a n c e d a r o u n d her.

She pointed at him and he sat d o w n .
"How's your little b o y ? " asked Macon.
The Accidental Tourist

She looked at h i m . " W h a t ? " she said.

" W a s n ' t he ill?"
" W h o told you t h a t ? "
" S o m e o n e at M e o w - B o w w h e n I telephoned."
She c o n t i n u e d to look at h i m .
" W h a t was it? D i d he have a c o l d ? "
" O h , yes probably," she said after a m o m e n t . "Some little
s t o m a c h p r o b l e m . W h y did you t e l e p h o n e ? "
" E d w a r d was refusing to lie d o w n . "
She t u r n e d to look at E d w a r d .
"I told you he was going to be difficult," she said.
"Yes, but w e practised for t w o days a n d n o t h i n g . . . "
" D o you t h i n k I can do e v e r y t h i n g in a few d a y s ? " she said
angrily.
"I just w a n t e d to "
"I d i d n ' t tell you about Alexander. You t h i n k that's strange,
don't you?"
"Alexander?"
"You t h i n k I'm a terrible m o t h e r . "
" W h a t ? N o , wait a m i n u t e "
"You're not g o i n g to t h i n k about me any m o r e , are you? Now
that you k n o w I've got a child. T h a t ' s w h y I d i d n ' t tell you at first.
D o n ' t you see? T h i s is w h a t always h a p p e n s ! "
M a c o n was not listening to her, p e r h a p s because he was
w a t c h i n g E d w a r d . W h e n Muriel's voice became louder, Edward's
hair began to stand up straight on the back of his neck. It was a bad
sign. A n d then he began to m a k e a low, angry noise. Muriel looked
at h i m , a n d stopped speaking. But she did not seem to be worried.
" D o w n , " Muriel said.
W i t h a b a r k , E d w a r d j u m p e d at her face. H i s lips were pulled
back a n d all his teeth w e r e on view. Quickly, Muriel pulled on his
 Muriel

leash and lifted h i m off the floor. He stopped b a r k i n g a n d started

to m a k e strange, u n h a p p y noises.
"You're h u r t i n g h i m , " Macon said.
She let the d o g h a n g there. He was quiet now.
"Stop it! You'll kill h i m ! "
Macon held Muriel's shoulder h a r d . She lowered her h a n d a n d
Edward fell to the floor. He lay there, not m o v i n g . M a c o n got
down on his knees next to the dog.
" E d w a r d ? E d w a r d ? O h , no, he's d e a d ! "
E d w a r d lifted his head a n d slowly p u t out his t o n g u e .
"Look, that's a good sign," said Muriel. " W e ' r e w i n n i n g . "
"Don't you ever do t h a t a g a i n ! " M a c o n told her.
"What?"
"In fact, don't ever come back again."
T h e r e was a surprised silence.
"Well, all right," said Muriel. "If that's h o w you feel — fine."
She walked r o u n d E d w a r d a n d opened the front door. "If you
want to o w n a difficult d o g , that's fine with m e . "
"I prefer a b a r k i n g d o g to a frightened d o g , " M a c o n said.
"Do you w a n t a d o g w h o bites all your friends? A d o g w h o
frightens the n e i g h b o u r s ' children? A bad, angry dog? A d o g w h o
kills people?"
She went t h r o u g h the door. T h e n she t u r n e d a n d looked into
Macon's eyes. "Well, yes, I t h i n k you d o , " she said.
F r o m the hall floor, E d w a r d m a d e a small, u n h a p p y noise a n d
watched her walk away.
The Accidental Tourist
Sarah

Now the days w e r e shorter a n d colder. E a c h m o r n i n g Macon

practised w a l k i n g w i t h E d w a r d . H e m a d e E d w a r d sit a n d then
walked away. E d w a r d waited, sitting. O h , he wasn't such a bad
dog! " E d w a r d , will you please lie d o w n , " M a c o n said softly.
Edward looked away and did n o t h i n g . " P e r h a p s t o m o r r o w , "
Macon said.
His family did not t h i n k so. " W h a t will h a p p e n w h e n you start
travelling a g a i n ? " asked Rose. "You can't leave h i m here."

T h e n one evening Sarah telephoned. She w a n t e d to talk to h i m ,

so they decided to meet in a restaurant. M a c o n felt very n e r v o u s
and arrived early. He sat at the table. He hoped that he looked all
right. It was difficult w i t h a b r o k e n leg, b u t his family helped h i m
to get ready. Rose cut one leg off his grey trousers, so he could wear
them easily. She also cut his hair for h i m . A n d he was w e a r i n g his
brother's best tie.
Then Sarah arrived a n d Macon suddenly felt very strange.
How nice she looked! He r e m e m b e r e d h o w m u c h he liked her. He
half stood up. W a s she g o i n g to kiss h i m ? But she only touched his
cheek, like someone m e e t i n g a friend at a party.
"Hello, Macon," she said. " W h a t h a p p e n e d to y o u r l e g ? "
" I . . . fell."
"Is it b r o k e n ? "
"Yes."
"And what about your h a n d ? "
"Well, it's a k i n d of d o g bite . . . but it's all right now."
She looked at h i m . " W a s it E d w a r d w h o bit y o u ? "
The Accidental Tourist

"Well, yes."
He waited for her to say s o m e t h i n g . P e r h a p s she too was going
to tell h i m to send E d w a r d away.
"Well, he's probably u n h a p p y , " she said slowly.
"Yes, he is," said Macon. "He's acting very strangely. He attacks
people all the time. I asked a d o g trainer to help m e , b u t she was too
hard with him."
" W e l l , that's silly! H e ' s only frightened. W h e n Edward's
frightened, he attacks. T h a t ' s just the way he is."
M a c o n s u d d e n l y felt h o w m u c h he loved her. O h , w h e n they
w e r e together, he s o m e t i m e s hated her. But she was his oldest
friend. T h e t w o of t h e m w e n t t h r o u g h very difficult times
together. She was a part of his life. It was too late to change that.
" S a r a h , " he said. "It is terrible not living together."
She looked at h i m . In this light her eyes seemed to be very dark
blue, almost black.
"Isn't i t ? " he said.
She p u t d o w n her glass. "I asked you here for a reason, Macon."
H e k n e w i t was s o m e t h i n g bad.
She said, " W e need to separate."
" W e are separated, so there's no p r o b l e m , " he said.
"By law, I m e a n . "
" W h y d o n ' t you come h o m e ? "
T h e meal arrived. A h a n d p u t plates in front of t h e m and
m o v e d things on the table. " A n y m o r e d r i n k s ? " the waitress asked.
" N o ! " M a c o n said. " T h a n k you."
T h e waitress left.
He said, "Sarah? Please come back."
"It's not possible," she told h i m .
She was w e a r i n g p i n k . She was w e a r i n g just that same pink
w h e n they first met. W h y did she choose that colour tonight?
 Sarah

"Listen," he said. " P e r h a p s we should have a n o t h e r baby."

He saw that she was shocked. He was shocked too.
"Why n o t ? " he asked. " W e ' r e not too old."
"Oh, Macon."
"I k n o w it w o n ' t be E t h a n . But "
" N o , " Sarah said.
H e r eyes w e r e very calm. He k n e w that she was not g o i n g to
change her m i n d .
He started his soup.
"I'm sorry," said Sarah. "But it will never w o r k . "
"All right. F o r g e t w h a t I said a b o u t the baby. T h a t was a crazy
idea. Aren't you g o i n g to e a t ? "
She looked at her plate. T h e n she picked up her fork.
"Why d o n ' t we go on h o l i d a y ? " Macon said.
"Holiday?"
"Well, I m e a n . . . so we can start again."
"I am starting again," she said. She p u t d o w n her fork. " I ' m
taking painting lessons. I ' m even seeing s o m e o n e . "
"Seeing s o m e o n e ? "
"I'm going out with a m a n . H e ' s a doctor."
There was a pause.
"Look. I k n o w this is hard for you, Macon. It's h a r d for both of
us. But we d o n ' t share m u c h these days, do we? D o n ' t you see?
When you break your leg, w h o do you go to? N o t to me — to your
sister, Rose. You d i d n ' t even tell m e ! "
"But I k n e w you w e r e not g o i n g to come."
"No, perhaps not. But you d i d n ' t ask! You're closer to your
family than to m e . "
"That's not t r u e , " M a c o n said. " O r . . . well, of course w e ' r e close
— we're family. But it doesn't matter. T h a t ' s not i m p o r t a n t . "
"Look at your brother, Charles! He and his wife are divorced.
The Accidental Tourist

She had to do it — the Leary family was too m u c h for her."

" A n d n o w you w a n t to do the same," Macon said. "You want to
destroy t w e n t y years of m a r r i a g e because I like my family."
" O u r m a r r i a g e has e n d e d , believe m e , " Sarah said.
M a c o n p u t d o w n his spoon.
"Sarah, it was E t h a n ' s d e a t h that destroyed us."
She covered her eyes.
"But it doesn't have to," he said. " F o r some people, this brings
t h e m closer together. W h y not u s ? "
T h e waitress said, "Is e v e r y t h i n g all r i g h t ? "
Sarah sat up straight a n d looked in her h a n d b a g .
"Yes, t h a n k you," said Macon.
T h e waitress was b r i n g i n g their m a i n dishes. She looked at
Sarah's plate. "Isn't she g o i n g to eat t h a t ? " she asked Macon.
" N o , I d o n ' t t h i n k .. . p e r h a p s not."
" D i d n ' t she like i t ? "
"Yes, she liked it. T a k e it away."
T h e waitress m o v e d things a r o u n d on the table in angry silence.
Sarah p u t d o w n her h a n d b a g a n d looked at her plate. T h e food did
not look very good.
"You can have some of m i n e , " said Macon w h e n the waitress
left.
Sarah's eyes w e r e full of tears now.
" M a c o n , " she said. "Because of w h a t h a p p e n e d to E t h a n , I now
k n o w that people are bad. T h e y are so bad that they can shoot a
twelve-year-old boy for no reason. I read n e w s p a p e r s n o w and I
feel sick. I can't watch the news on television. T h e world is such a
terrible place. C h i l d r e n kill each other; m e n t h r o w babies out of
w i n d o w s ; criminals attack old people in their homes. I look at the
students in my class a n d they look so nice. But they are exactly like
the boy w h o killed E t h a n .. ." T e a r s w e r e r u n n i n g d o w n her face.
 Sarah

"There are times w h e n I do not w a n t to live in this w o r l d . "

Macon felt that he h a d to choose exactly the right w o r d s .
"Yes, u m , I see w h a t you m e a n , b u t . . . " He began again. " W h a t
you say about people is true. I don't disagree. But tell m e , Sarah.
Why does that m a k e you w a n t to leave m e ? "
She tried to dry her tears w i t h her h a n d . She said, "Exactly
because I k n o w you d o n ' t disagree. You always believed that
people were bad."
"Well, so . . . "
"Because o f . . . E t h a n , my life is different now. I stay away from
crowds; I don't go to parties; I d o n ' t see my friends. Do you
remember w h e n you a n d I w e n t to the beach in s u m m e r ? I liked
the people on the beach. I liked being close to their s h o u t i n g , their
noisy radios. But you hated it. You hated t h e m . A n d n o w I hate
them too. I am b e c o m i n g just like you. I feel I am b e c o m i n g a
Leary. I don't like it!"
Macon tried a joke. "Well, I think there are worse things than
being a Leary."
She didn't smile. She said, "I d o n ' t have t i m e . "
"Time for w h a t ? "
"I'm forty-two years old. I d o n ' t have e n o u g h time to be alone
and unhappy. So I am trying to start a n e w life. I have a n e w flat. I
have new friends — not your k i n d of people, Macon. I'm studying
with an artist, a painter. I always w a n t e d to be a painter, but
teaching seemed m o r e sensible. T h a t ' s h o w you t h i n k , isn't it?
Sensible. You are so q u i c k to be sensible that you stop trying. You
don't let things touch you."
" W h a t t h i n g s ? " M a c o n asked.
"Everything that can touch you, or h u r t you, or c h a n g e your
life. You tell yourself that you d o n ' t w a n t it. So you d o n ' t need to
show any feeling."
The Accidental Tourist

" W h a t do you m e a n ? " M a c o n said. "I am sitting here with you.

I w a n t to be with you. I am trying not to lose you."
Sarah chose not to hear this. " A n d w h e n E t h a n died," she said,
"you e m p t i e d his room so quickly. You gave all his toys away to
people. You could not u n d e r s t a n d w h y they did not w a n t to accept
t h e m . 'I hate to see things sitting there,' you said. Macon, I know
you loved h i m . But I so m e t i m e s t h i n k t h a t you did not love him
e n o u g h . N o t in the same way that I did. I k n o w you felt terrible
a b o u t his d e a t h . But t h e r e is s o m e t h i n g so different about how you
feel things. It seems that you are trying to get through life
u n c h a n g e d . D o n ' t you see w h y I had to leave y o u ? "
"Sarah, I am touched by things. But I try to k e e p living. I try to
k e e p going."
"If you t h i n k that, t h e n you are w r o n g . You are touched by
n o t h i n g . Oh M acon, it is not by chance that you write those silly
g u i d e b o o k s ! Books telling people h o w to take trips w i t h o u t feeling
a n y t h i n g . W i t h o u t any shocks or surpri s e s . Y o u ' r e just an
accidental tourist t o o ! "
" N o I ' m not," Macon said. " I ' m not!"
Sarah put her coat on. "So, this is w h a t I w a n t e d to tell you. My
lawyer is w r i t i n g to you about a divorce."
She left a n d M a c o n finished his meal alone.
O n c e , w h e n E t h a n was little, he ran into the road after a ball.
M a c o n was too far a w a y to do a n y t h i n g . All he could do was to
shout: " N o ! " A n d then he saw a car c o m i n g r o u n d the corner. In
t h a t m o m e n t e v e r y t h i n g c h a n g e d . In his m i n d he saw a future
w i t h o u t E t h a n , a n d he p r e p a r e d himself for it. T h i s was a future
with less happiness. But it was also a future w i t h fewer problems.
It did not contain the p r o b l e m s w h i c h a small child always brings.
A n d t h e n the car stopped a n d E t h a n got his ball. Macon felt a great
happiness. But he also r e m e m b e r e d h o w quickly he prepared his
 Sarah

"My lawyer is w r i t i n g to you about a divorce."

The Accidental Tourist

m i n d for a life w i t h o u t E t h a n . P e r h a p s this was w h y Ethan's death

was less of a shock later. But if people do not p r e p a r e themselves,
h o w can they c o n t i n u e living?
He asked for the bill a n d paid it.
" W a s there a n y t h i n g w r o n g ? " asked the waitress.
" E v e r y t h i n g was fine," M a c o n said.

New York

Macon's leg was better now. Rose asked h i m w h a t he planned to do

w i t h E d w a r d d u r i n g his trip t o N e w York.
" I ' m leaving h i m w i t h you," M a c o n said, surprised.
" W i t h m e ? O h M a c o n , you k n o w h o w difficult h e is!"
" W h a t can h a p p e n in such a short time? I'll be h o m e tomorrow
night. If things get very bad, you can lock h i m in the kitchen."
"I d o n ' t like this at all," Rose said. But she agreed to drive
Macon to the station. W a i t i n g for his train, M a c o n felt very alone.
He saw that most people w e r e in g r o u p s of t w o or three. Even the
single people seemed to h i m to be w a i t i n g for someone. T h e n his
train was called a n d he picked up his bag.

W h e n he arrived in N e w York, he took a taxi to his hotel. In the

afternoon he visited several m o r e hotels. He looked at rooms and
restaurants, talked w i t h people in their offices, discussed the
p r o b l e m of costs. T h e n he r e t u r n e d to his o w n hotel room and
t u r n e d on the television n e w s . T h e w o r l d was d o i n g badly. The
television s h o w e d w a r s a n d fighting. But Macon felt that nothing

J
 New York

was real. He t u r n e d off the television a n d called a taxi.

At Julian's suggestion, he was going to have d i n n e r at the top of
an impossibly tall building. Julian seemed to like places like that.
T h e taxi stopped at the end of a very d a r k street. M a c o n h u r r i e d
towards the great, tall building. He stood at the b o t t o m a n d looked
u p and u p and u p . H e r e m e m b e r e d the t i m e w h e n E t h a n f i r s t saw
an elephant. T h e child looked up in surprise, p u t t i n g his head
further and further back until he fell over.
Macon got into the lift a n d w e n t up to the top floor. In the
restaurant he was given a table w i t h o u t a view. P e r h a p s it was
because he was alone. Single customers were u n u s u a l . P e r h a p s he
was the first.
His waiter, w h o was far better dressed t h a n M a c o n , gave h i m a
menu. " W h a t w o u l d you like to d r i n k , sir?" Macon asked for white
wine. W h e n the waiter left, M a c o n sat on the m e n u . T h e n he
looked at his neighbours. Everybody was with a friend or in a
group. T h e waiter r e t u r n e d w i t h his d r i n k .
"And n o w could I have the m e n u ? " M a c o n said.
"Menu? D i d n ' t I give you o n e ? "
"Perhaps there was a mistake," he said, not exactly lying.
Another m e n u was b r o u g h t a n d o p e n e d i n front of h i m . M a c o n
drank his wine a n d looked at the prices. T h e y w e r e crazy, of
course. He gave the waiter his o r d e r a n d w e n t over to the w i n d o w .
Suddenly, he t h o u g h t he was dead. He saw the city below h i m
like a shining, golden sea. T h e p r o b l e m w a s n't the height — it was
the distance. It was the great, lonely distance from everyone w h o
was important to h i m . E t h a n — a n d Sarah. He saw his sister a n d
brothers in their house. He felt he could never, ever get back to
them. He d r o p p e d his glass a n d ran across the r o o m a n d out of the
door. Outside he looked for the toilets. He found t h e m , w e n t in a n d
washed his face in cold water. W h e n he came out he saw the
The Accidental Tourist

telephone. W h o could he talk to? He d i d n ' t k n o w anyone in New

York. So he called his family. C h a r l e s a n s w e r e d .
"Leary."
"Charles?"
" M a c o n ! " C h a r l e s said, unusually excited.
" C h a r l e s , I ' m on top of this b u i l d i n g a n d a k i n d o f . . . silly thing
is h a p p e n i n g to m e . Listen, can you get me out of h e r e ? "
" G e t you out? W h a t are you talking about? You've got to get me
out of here!"
" O u t o f w h e r e ? W h e r e are y o u ? "
" I ' m in the kitchen. Your d o g refuses to let me out."
" O h . Well, I ' m sorry b u t . . . C h a r l e s , it's like some kind of
illness. I d o n ' t t h i n k I can get in the lift, a n d the stairs "
" M a c o n , can you hear that b a r k i n g ? T h a t ' s E d w a r d . Edward's
got me here and he refuses to let me come out. You'll have to come
h o m e a n d help m e . "
"But I'm in N e w York! I'm on top of this b u i l d i n g a n d I can't
get d o w n ! "
"Every time I open the door, he tries to attack m e . A n d when I
close the door, he attacks it!"
"Charles, can I speak to R o s e ? "
"She's out."
"Oh."
" W h y do you t h i n k I'm in this situation? Julian came to take
her to d i n n e r a n d "
"Julian?"
"Isn't that his n a m e ? "
"Julian, my boss?"
"Yes. E d w a r d started b a r k i n g so Rose told me to lock him in the
kitchen. But w h e n I took his leash, he nearly bit my h a n d off. So l
locked myself in the kitchen a n d then Rose left, so . . ."
 New York

Macon was quiet, p i c t u r i n g C h a r l e s in the k i t c h e n .

"If you d o n ' t get me out, I ' m g o i n g to call t h e police. I'll ask
them to take E d w a r d away. T h e y ' l l probably shoot h i m . "
"No, don't do that!"
"I can't just sit here. I can't just wait for h i m to break the door."
" H e w o n ' t break the door. W h y d o n ' t you just open the d o o r
and walk past h i m ? Please: I ' m on top of this b u i l d i n g a n d "
"I'll have to tell the police."
"Don't do t h a t ! " M a c o n shouted.
A m a n c o m i n g o u t of the toilets looked at h i m w i t h interest.
Macon spoke m o r e quietly.
"He was E t h a n ' s . "
"Does that m e a n he can kill m e ? "
"Listen. D o n ' t do a n y t h i n g yet. I ' m g o i n g to telephone Sarah.
I'm going to ask her to c o m e a n d get E d w a r d . D o n ' t do a n y t h i n g
until she comes. Do you u n d e r s t a n d ? "
" W e l l . . . " C h a r l e s said.
Macon put d o w n the telephone. T h e n he picked it up again a n d
called Sarah. She d i d n ' t answer. W h a t n o w ? W h a t on earth was he
going to do n o w ?
He looked at the n u m b e r s in his book. Doctor, dentist, a n i m a l
trainer . . . A n i m a l trainer? H e t h o u g h t o f lions a n d elephants, a n d
then he saw the n a m e : Muriel Pritchett. He called her.
"Hello," she a n s w e r e d .
"Muriel? It's M a c o n Leary."
"Oh. H o w are y o u ? "
"I'm fine. O r . . . you see, the p r o b l e m is that E d w a r d has got my
brother in the kitchen. A n d I am here at the top of a b u i l d i n g in
New York. I've got a k i n d of strange feeling, you k n o w ? I was
looking d o w n at the city a n d it was miles a n d miles away. I can't
describe to you h o w "
The Accidental Tourist

" N o w , let's m a k e s u r e I u n d e r s t a n d . E d w a r d ' s in your

kitchen "
" N o . E d w a r d ' s outside, b a r k i n g . My brother's inside. He's
g o i n g to call the police a n d ask t h e m to shoot E d w a r d . "
"Well, that's a stupid idea!"
"Yes!" M a c o n said. "So, I t h o u g h t that p e r h a p s you could get
o u r key "
"I'll go now."
" O h , great."
"So goodbye for now, Macon."
"Well, b u t also . . . " he said.
She waited.
"You see, I ' m at the top of this building," he said. "I don't know
why, b u t I ' m frightened."
" O h , yes. I k n o w , those tall buildings are frightening. I saw a
film a b o u t it once. I t h i n k you should be very p r o u d . "
"Proud? W h y ? "
"Because you are there. You k n o w it's d a n g e r o u s , but you went
all the way to the top. T h e r e you are — w a l k i n g around. You
should be p r o u d of yourself!"
M a c o n l a u g h e d nervously a n d held the telephone tightly.
" N o w , I ' m g o i n g to go a n d get E d w a r d a n d take him to the
M e o w - B o w . T h e n , w h e n you get back from your trip, we can talk
a b o u t his training. T h i n g s can't just c o n t i n u e in this way, Macon."
" N o , they can't. You're right, they can't," M a c o n said.
"Goodbye then."
"Well, wait!" he said.
B u t she was g o n e .
H e p u t the telephone d o w n a n d t u r n e d . H e saw some new
people c o m i n g to the restaurant. A boy a n d a girl, not yet twenty,
a n d dressed in their best clothes. Just in front of the restaurant they
 New York

" I d o n ' t k n o w why, b u t I ' m frightened.

The Accidental Tourist

stopped a n d looked a r o u n d t h e m . T h e n they looked at each other.

" C a n you believe t h i s ? " the boy said. T h e y stood there for a
m o m e n t , l a u g h i n g . T h e n they w e n t into the restaurant.
M a c o n followed t h e m . T h e waiter was just p u t t i n g his food in
place w h e n he sat d o w n again in his chair.

Macon and Muriel

"I'll be honest," Muriel said. "My baby was not exactly planned. I
m e a n we w e r e n ' t m a r r i e d t h e n . T h a t ' s w h y we got married. But I
told N o r m a n he d i d n ' t have to. N o t if he d i d n ' t w a n t to."
She looked past M a c o n at E d w a r d , w h o lay on the floor. They
h a d to p u s h h i m d o w n , b u t at least he was staying there.
" N o w I ' m g o i n g to t u r n my back," she said. "You watch what
he does."
She w e n t into the living ro o m .
" W h e n we first started living together, it was like a game. Then
s u d d e n l y it b e c a m e real. A n d n o w I have this little boy — a great
big seven-year-old son. It was real all the t i m e — we just didn't
k n o w it. W h a t i s E d w a r d d o i n g ? "
" W h a t ? O h , h e hasn't m o v e d , " M a c o n said.
" G o o d . Soon he'll do that for t h r e e or four h o u r s . "
" B u t w o n ' t he be u n h a p p y ? "
"You said you w e r e n ' t g o i n g to talk like t h a t ! "
"Right. Sorry," Macon said.
" B u t it's all right really," Muriel said, a n d touched his arm. "I
t h i n k m e n w i t h soft hearts are sweet."
 Macon and Muriel

Macon m o v e d away from her, a n d almost fell over E d w a r d .

It was nearly T h a n k s g i v i n g * a n d the Leary family w e r e

planning the family dinner. H i s b r o t h e r s ' c h i l d r e n w e r e all g o i n g
to be there. A n d Rose invited Julian. " W h a t ! " M a c o n said. He was
worried. He d i d n ' t w a n t Rose to fall in love w i t h Julian. " T h e y are
so different," he t h o u g h t . "She will never be h a p p y w i t h Julian."
But h o w could he stop it?

"My son's n a m e is Alexander," Muriel said. " D i d I tell you? He

was never an easy baby. S o m e t h i n g w e n t w r o n g before he was
born. He was very, very small a n d he nearly died. I can't have any
more children. N o r m a n said, ' W h e n is it g o i n g to look like other
children?' He always called h i m 'it'. N o r m a n d i d n ' t w a n t t o g o
near h i m . But I spent lots of t i m e at the hospital."
E d w a r d m a d e a noise. He was lying d o w n , but he looked
unhappy. Muriel gave no sign.
"Perhaps you should meet Alexander some time," she told Macon.
" O h , I, ah . . ." M a c o n said.
" H e needs m o r e m e n in his life."
"Well, b u t . . . "
" P e r h a p s we could go to a film together, or to have a pizza."
"I d o n ' t t h i n k so," M a c o n said.

H i s brothers' children arrived the evening before T h a n k s g i v i n g .

T h e y b r o u g h t colour and noise with t h e m into the house. " O h , " said
Rose, "aren't we going to have a good T h a n k s g i v i n g ! " Macon

* Thanksgiving: the fourth T h u r s d a y in N o v e m b e r , w h i c h is a holiday in the U S A .

Many A m e r i c a n s travel to see their families a n d to eat a special meal together on this
day.
The Accidental Tourist

looked at his brothers and sister. T h e four adults seemed very pale
a n d grey to h i m , almost unreal.
Julian c a m e to dinner. Macon a n d his b r o t h e r s w e r e very polite
in their o w n way. But later Rose shouted at t h e m . "You d o n ' t like
h i m being here. You d o n ' t w a n t me to stop c o o k i n g for you. You
w a n t me to look after this house for ever! You d o n ' t w a n t Julian to
fall in love w i t h m e . "

"It was the baby that destroyed o u r m a r r i a g e , " Muriel said.

" W h e n you t h i n k about it, it's funny. First we got m a r r i e d because
of the baby. T h e n we separated because of the baby. N o r m a n could
not u n d e r s t a n d w h y I spent so m u c h time at the hospital. 'It doesn't
k n o w you're there,' he said. 'So w h y g o ? ' But I w e n t every day a n d
he was in hospital for m o n t h s , really m o n t h s . Finally I took a
cleaning job in the hospital so I could be near h i m . "
She a n d M a c o n w e r e w a l k i n g d o w n the road w i t h E d w a r d .
T h e y w e r e h o p i n g to find s o m e o n e on a bicycle, so they could test
h i m . Finally a girl c a m e past on a bicycle, a n d E d w a r d did n o t h i n g .
H e d i d n ' t r u n after her. H e d i d n ' t even look!
" O h , E d w a r d , that was beautiful!" M a c o n told h i m .
M u r i e l said n o t h i n g . She did not seem to t h i n k it was special.
"So finally they let h i m leave the hospital a n d come h o m e , " she
said. " B u t he was so small, a n d he cried all the time. N o r m a n d i d n ' t
help. I t h i n k he was jealous. T h e n his m o t h e r started telling h i m
that the baby wasn't his. 'You d o n ' t believe her, N o r m a n , do y o u ? '
I said. But I could see he did. A n d he left m e . "
" O h n o , " M a c o n said. H e felt shocked.
"You k n o w , it's funny really," Muriel said. "All the time
Alexander was in hospital, it was terrible. But now, when I look back,
I almost miss it. People were so helpful. T h e y were really helpful."
She looked up at M a c o n then. Macon felt a s u d d e n , strange
 Macon and Muriel

feeling in his chest. He needed to show that he was her friend. So

when she lifted her face, he kissed her cold, dry lips.
"Well . . ." he said.
She w e n t on looking at h i m .
"Sorry," he said.
T h e n they t u r n e d r o u n d a n d w a l k e d back h o m e w i t h E d w a r d .

Rose was m a k i n g Julian some socks for C h r i s t m a s .

" A l r e a d y ? " Macon asked. "It's only just T h a n k s g i v i n g . "
"Yes, b u t these are very difficult. I w a n t to get t h e m right."
Macon w a t c h e d her w o r k i n g . T h e socks w e r e grey, like the
socks that the Leary b r o t h e r s often w o r e .
"Are you sure he will like t h e m ? He usually wears red or blue."
"Yes, I k n o w . "
But she w e n t on m a k i n g her socks.
"Look," Macon said. " W h a t I really w a n t to say is . . . He was
married before, you k n o w . A n d he's y o u n g e r t h a n you."
"Only t w o years."
"Yes, but he has a y o u n g e r . . . well . . . way of living."
" H e says he's tired of all that. He says he likes being at h o m e . He
likes my cooking. He can't believe I ' m m a k i n g h i m some real
h o m e m a d e socks."
" O h , " M a c o n said.
" D o n ' t try and destroy this, M a c o n . "

Macon a n d Muriel were d r i v i n g in her car. It was big a n d very

old. E d w a r d sat in the back seat, looking excited.
"You d i d n ' t have to say you w e r e sorry the other day," Muriel
said.
"Say I was s o r r y ? " M a c o n said. But he u n d e r s t o o d w h a t she
meant. A n d she k n e w t h a t h e u n d e r s t o o d . She did not explain.
The Accidental Tourist

" O h , u m , I d o n ' t r e m e m b e r if I told you. I am separated from

my wife — b u t we are n o t divorced yet. We have n o t h i n g on paper
— in law — you k n o w . "
"So?"
" I ' m just, you k n o w , separated."
"Well? S o ? "
He w a n t e d to say: " M u r i e l , forgive m e . But after my son died,
sex . . . t u r n e d . " (In the way that m i l k t u r n s — that was h o w he
t h o u g h t of it. In the way that milk changes a n d becomes bad.) "I
really d o n ' t t h i n k of it any m o r e . It seems so u n i m p o r t a n t . "
But w h a t he said was: " I ' m w o r r i e d t h a t E d w a r d ' s getting
bored."
She looked at h i m for a m o m e n t longer, a n d then she opened
the d o o r for E d w a r d .
"Let's try h i m in this shop," she said.
" O h , all right."
T h e y left E d w a r d outside the shop a n d w e n t in together. Muriel
b o u g h t some oranges.
" W h a t are you d o i n g for d i n n e r on T h u r s d a y n i g h t ? " she
asked.
" F o r . . . ?"
" C o m e a n d eat at my house."
He closed his eyes in surprise.
" C o m e on. We'll have fun."
"Um ..."
"Just for dinner. You a n d me a n d Alexander. At six o'clock.
N u m b e r sixteen, Singleton Street. D o you k n o w w h e r e that is?"
" O h , well, I d o n ' t t h i n k I ' m free then," Macon said.
" T h i n k a b o u t it," she told h i m .
T h e y w a l k e d out o f the shop. E d w a r d was waiting.
" G o o d d o g , " M u r i e l said. " N o w one m o r e test for h i m . " She
 Macon and Muriel

was w a l k i n g back to her car. "We'll do it at the doctor's."

" W h a t doctor's?"
" D r Snell's. I've got to collect Alexander. I'll take you h o m e ,
then I have to take A l e x a n d e r back to school."
T h e y drove to the doctor's.
"I d o n ' t k n o w if A l e x a n d e r is ready," Muriel said. " B u t if he
isn't, it will be good practice for E d w a r d . "
T h e y m a d e E d w a r d sit a n d left h i m outside.
"Is A l e x a n d e r ready y e t ? " Muriel asked the w o m a n at the desk.
"Nearly, dear."
Muriel took a m a g a z i n e and sat d o w n , b u t M a c o n stayed
standing. He looked out of the w i n d o w to check on E d w a r d .
" H o w old did you say A l e x a n d e r w a s ? " M a c o n asked.
"He's seven."
Seven. Seven was w h e n E t h a n learnt to ride a bicycle. Macon
suddenly r e m e m b e r e d the first lesson. " G o on," he called. " T h a t ' s
right, you've got the idea! You've got it n o w ! " a n d E t h a n rode
away from h i m , strong a n d p r o u d , w i t h the sun in his hair.
Macon sat d o w n next to Muriel. She looked at h i m a n d asked,
"Well, did you t h i n k about c o m i n g to d i n n e r ? "
" O h , " he said. "Well, p e r h a p s I can c o m e . If it's only for dinner."
" W h a t do you t h i n k it's for?" she asked. She smiled at h i m .
" H e r e he is."
A small, w h i t e , ill-looking boy came into the r o o m . H i s eyes
were very pale blue, and the skin r o u n d t h e m was very p i n k . He
had large glasses w h i c h m a d e his eyes seem bigger. A n d he was
wearing the k i n d of sensible shirt a n d trousers w h i c h only a
m o t h e r can choose.
" H o w was i t ? " Muriel asked h i m .
"OK."
"Alexander, this is Macon. I'm tra i n i n g his d o g . "
The Accidental Tourist

" A l e x a n d e r , this is M a c o n . "

 Macon and Muriel

Macon stood up and held out his h a n d . After a m o m e n t

Alexander held out his h a n d too. H i s fingers felt like ice. He took
his hand away again a n d told his m o t h e r , '"I have to come back
here."
"Fine."
Muriel w e n t over to the desk, leaving Macon w i t h Alexander.
"You're very y o u n g to be at the doctor's alone."
Muriel t u r n e d a n d a n s w e r e d for h i m .
" H e comes very often. He often gets ill."
"I see," Macon said.
Yes, he was just the k i n d of boy to get ill.
" T h e r e are a lot of things which he can't eat — fish, m i l k , fruit,
eggs and most vegetables." T h e y w a l k e d out of the doctor's. " A n d
if he's out of the house for too long, his skin becomes very red a n d
uncomfortable."
Muriel called t o E d w a r d , w h o j u m p e d u p b a r k i n g .
They got into the car. Macon sat in the back so A l e x a n d e r could
go in the front — a long way away from E d w a r d . " D o g s also m a k e
him ill," Muriel said. W h e n they came to the Leary house, Muriel
said, "Well, let's see now. I ' m w o r k i n g at the M e o w - B o w
tomorrow, so I w o n ' t see you until d i n n e r on T h u r s d a y . "
Macon did not k n o w h o w to tell her. But he k n e w he could not
go to dinner. He missed his wife. He missed his son. T h e y w e r e the
only people w h o seemed real to h i m .

He picked up the telephone, but w h a t could he say? "Muriel,

last year my son died and I d o n ' t seem to . . . M u r i e l , I d o n ' t w a n t
to hurt you, but really I have no . . . Muriel, I can't. I just can't." He
held the telephone tightly, then he p u t it d o w n again.
He asked Rose for some w r i t i n g paper. " D e a r Muriel, I am very
sorry, but I can't have d i n n e r w i t h you. I have to do s o m e t h i n g on
The Accidental Tourist

t h a t n i g h t . " He signed it, " I ' m sorry, M a c o n . "

T h e n he looked for a m a p of the city and got into the car. He
drove t h r o u g h the south part of the city. He felt that it was a
strange a n d d a n g e r o u s part of the world. He t u r n e d into Singleton
Street a n d found Muriel's house. L i k e its n e i g h b o u r s , it looked
c h e a p a n d badly built. T h e street was very d a r k . He took the letter
from his pocket a n d felt with his h a n d for her letterbox.
"I'll shoot you," said Muriel from inside the house.
"It's M a c o n , " he said. H i s h e a r t was j u m p i n g .
"Macon?"
T h e d o o r o p e n e d a n d h e saw M u r i e l i n the d a r k .
" M a c o n , w h a t are you d o i n g h e r e ? "
He gave her the letter.
She took it a n d opened it. She used both h a n d s . ( H e saw no sign
of a n y t h i n g to shoot with.) She read it a n d looked at h i m . He saw
that he needed to explain.
"Last year," he said, "I l o s t . . . I lost my . . . "
She w e n t on looking into his face.
"I lost my son," Macon said. " H e was . . . he was in a restaurant
a n d s o m e b o d y . . . shot h i m . I can't go to d i n n e r w i t h people! I can't
talk to their little boys! You have to stop a s k i n g m e . I d o n ' t m e a n
to h u r t you, b u t I can't do it. Do you h e a r ? "
She took one of his h a n d s very softly and pulled h i m into the
house. She put her a r m s r o u n d h i m a n d held h i m close.
"Every day I tell myself it's t i m e to start feeling better," he said
into the space over her head. "People t h i n k it's t i m e for my life to
m o v e on. But I ' m g e t t i n g worse. T h e first year was like a bad
d r e a m . In the m o r n i n g I got to his b e d r o o m door before I
r e m e m b e r e d . But this second year is real. I d o n ' t go to his door. I
sometimes spend a day w i t h o u t t h i n k i n g about him. It's worse in a
way. A n d S a r a h a n d I can't help each other. P e r h a p s this only
 Macon and Muriel

showed that there really is a great distance b e t w e e n us. We only got

m a r r i e d because o f the distance. A n d n o w e v e r y o n e seems
unimportant to me."
She led h i m up some stairs into a b e d r o o m w i t h a big, old bed
and an o r a n g e c u p b o a r d .
" N o , " he said, "wait. T h i s is not w h a t I w a n t . "
"Just sleep," she told h i m . "Lie d o w n a n d sleep."
T h a t seemed sensible.
She took off his coat a n d p u t it on a chair. She took off his shoes
and his shirt a n d trousers. He stood quietly while she did this. He
fell into the bed in his underclothes and she covered h i m with a
thin sheet. N e x t he heard her m o v i n g r o u n d the house, t u r n i n g off
lights. She r e t u r n e d to the b e d r o o m a n d stood in front of the
mirror. T h e n she t u r n e d off the light a n d got into bed. "I just w a n t
to sleep," he told her. But he p u t out a h a n d to touch her. She p u t
her m o u t h on his m o u t h a n d her a r m s a r o u n d h i m .

In the night he heard a child cough a n d w o k e u p . But he was in

a room with one tall w i n d o w a n d the child was not E t h a n . He
t u r n e d over a n d found Muriel. In her sleep she lifted his h a n d a n d
put it on her stomach. He felt the m a r k from her Caesarean.*
" A b o u t your son," she seemed to say. "Just p u t your h a n d here. I'm
h u r t too. W e ' r e all h u r t . You're not the only one."

* Caesarean: w h e n it is difficult for a w o m a n to give birth to a baby, doctors sometimes

decide to cut open her body and take out the baby. T h i s is called a Caesarean.
Chapter 7

A New Kind of Life

"I d o n ' t u n d e r s t a n d you," Rose told Macon. "Last night you said
you w a n t e d supper. A n d t h e n you w e r e n ' t here to eat it. On three
m o r n i n g s last week I w e n t to call you for breakfast and you weren't
there. H o w can I plan a n y t h i n g ? "
" I ' m sorry, Rose," M a c o n said. "You k n o w h o w it is . . . "
" I ' m not a s k i n g a b o u t your private life, Macon."
"I t h o u g h t you w e r e . "
"I just need to k n o w h o w m u c h food to cook. T h a t ' s all."

He b o u g h t a large pizza and drove to Muriel's house. W h e n he

got there, the n e i g h b o u r s ' t w o d a u g h t e r s w e r e sitting on the front
steps. " H e l l o t h e r e , M a c o n , " they called.
" H o w are you, girls?"
" A r e you g o i n g to see M u r i e l ? "
"Yes, I a m . "
He climbed the steps, h o l d i n g the pizza in front of him. The
girls c o n t i n u e d to w a t c h h i m . He gave t h e m a big smile. They
sometimes looked after Alexander, so he had to be nice to them. All
the n e i g h b o u r s looked after A l e x a n d e r at some time, it seemed.
A l e x a n d e r opened the door. " P i z z a m a n ! " Macon told him.
" M a m a ' s on the telephone," A l e x a n d e r said coldly. He turned
away a n d w e n t back to the television.
"It's a very big pizza — w i t h o u t fish this t i m e . "
"I can't eat pizza."
" W h i c h part can't you e a t ? "
"All of it," A l e x a n d e r said.
M a c o n w e n t into the kitchen. Muriel was talking to her mother
 A New Kind of Life

on the telephone. She s o u n d e d angry. But w h e n she saw M a c o n she

smiled. "Ma," she said, " I ' m g o i n g now. Macon's h e r e ! " It was a
long time since a n y o n e was so pleased to see h i m .

He w e n t to Julian's office on a M o n d a y afternoon a n d gave h i m

the pages on N e w York.
"Well, t h a n k you," Julian said. A n d then he told M a c o n that he
wanted to m a r r y his sister. He was g o i n g to ask her at C h r i s t m a s .
"You w a n t to m a r r y Rose?"
" W h a t ' s so strange about t h a t ? "
"Well, I . . . " Macon said.
"If she agrees, that is. Do you t h i n k she w i l l ? "
"Well, I really d o n ' t k n o w , " Macon said. He was sure she
wanted to m a r r y Julian. But he w a s n ' t g o i n g to tell h i m that.
"I w a n t us to have a real w e d d i n g , " Julian said. "I w a n t to join
a real family."
Macon d i d n ' t k n o w w h a t to say. " O h , well . . . that's good," he
said finally. "So . . . goodbye Julian."

Macon was a very tidy m a n . He liked his life to be tidy too. He

liked to k n o w exactly w h e n , w h e r e a n d h o w things were going to
happen. T h e r e was no r o o m in his life for s o m e o n e like Muriel. So
untidy, so crazy . . .
F o r one thing, she was y o u n g a n d he found this q u i t e difficult.
She m a d e h i m t h i n k a b o u t his o w n age. T h i s was n e w for h i m .
Before, w h e n he was with Sarah, he did not worry at all. A n d then
she talked so m u c h — almost all the time. Macon, on the other
h a n d , was the k i n d of m a n w h o found silence better t h a n music.
Muriel talked about clothes a n d hair a n d fashions, on a n d on until
he felt bored. Well, not bored, exactly, b u t tired. Really tired.
But she had a way of looking at h i m which m a d e his heart stop.
The Accidental Tourist

He carried a r o u n d with h i m in his head different pictures of

Muriel. He h a d a picture of Muriel at the kitchen table, doing a
c o m p e t i t i o n to win a trip to H o l l y w o o d . Muriel telling her mirror,
"I look terrible this m o r n i n g . " Muriel listening to the radio and
singing her favourite songs. A n d then he k n e w w h a t he really liked
a b o u t her. It was the way she lived her life. He did not love her, but
he loved the surprise of her. A n d he loved the surprise of himself
w h e n he was w i t h her. In this foreign country of Singleton Street
he was a completely different person. T h i s person was not narrow,
was not cold. In fact he was told he had a soft heart.

He accepted the fact that he was living with her now. He paid
m o n e y t o w a r d s the rent, and for their shopping. He kept his
t o o t h b r u s h in her b a t h r o o m , a n d his clothes in her cupboard.
T h e r e wasn't a special m o m e n t w h e n this h a p p e n e d . First there
was the long C h r i s t m a s holiday w h e n A l e x a n d e r was at home
alone. So Macon began to stay w i t h h i m in the d a y t i m e after he
spent the n i g h t there. A n d w h y not b r i n g his typewriter and work
at the kitchen table? A n d then w h y not stay for supper, and after
that for bed?
But p e r h a p s he really m o v e d in on the day w h e n he brought
E d w a r d to stay. O n e day he r e t u r n e d from a business trip and went
to Rose's house to check the animals. T h e cat was fine, Rose said.
(She had to speak above E d w a r d ' s loud a n d happy noises.) But
E d w a r d . . . " H e spends a lot of t i m e sitting near the door," she said.
" H e keeps looking at the door a n d w a i t i n g for you to come back."
T h a t decided it. H e took E d w a r d w i t h h i m w h e n h e returned
to Singleton Street. " W h a t do you t h i n k ? " he asked Muriel.
" C o u l d we k e e p h i m just a day or two? P e r h a p s Alexander will be
all right."
"I'll be all right," said Alexander. "Cats m a k e me ill, not dogs."
 A New Kind of Life

Muriel looked w o r r i e d . But she said they could try. E d w a r d ran

all over the house, p u t t i n g his nose in corners a n d u n d e r the
furniture. T h e n he sat in front of Muriel a n d looked up at h e r
happily. Macon t h o u g h t he was just like a schoolboy w i t h his
favourite teacher.
F o r the first few h o u r s they tried to k e e p h i m in a different part
of the house. But he h a d to follow M a c o n e v e r y w h e r e . A n d he
became very interested in Alexander. Alexander watched
television a n d E d w a r d slept next to h i m in the big armchair.
Alexander p u t his a r m s r o u n d E d w a r d a n d his face next to the
dog's. " D o n ' t do that," Macon told h i m . "You d o n ' t w a n t to get ill."
But at b e d t i m e , after several h o u r s w i t h E d w a r d , A l e x a n d e r was
perfectly well.
N o w Macon took E d w a r d out for a w a l k every m o r n i n g .
People on the street w e r e b e g i n n i n g to k n o w h i m , a n d he was
beginning to feel easier here. Singleton Street was poor a n d ugly,
but it did not feel d a n g e r o u s to h i m now. He saw that the
"dangerous m e n " in front of the cafe w e r e really y o u n g boys. T h e y
were badly dressed and looked cold in the w i n t e r weather. He saw
how the w o m e n fought to k e e p the area clean. W h e n the m e n w e n t
to w o r k , the w o m e n c a m e out of the houses. T h e y washed steps,
cleaned w i n d o w s , a n d picked up papers a n d beer bottles off the
street. T h e y shouted at children w h o should be in school.
W h e n he got back to Muriel's house, he w o r k e d on his
guidebook all m o r n i n g . T h e n at three o'clock A l e x a n d e r came
h o m e from school. He used the key w h i c h he w o r e r o u n d his neck.
"Macon," he called. "Is that you t h e r e ? "
"Yes, it's m e . H o w was your d a y ? "
"Oh, OK."
But Macon had the feeling that school never w e n t very well for
Alexander. He came back w i t h a tight, w o r r i e d face. But his clothes
The Accidental Tourist

w e r e tidy — they w e r e always tidy. O h , those clothes! Didn't he

ever play? M a c o n helped h i m with his h o m e w o r k . It was very
simple w o r k , b u t A l e x a n d e r found it q u i t e difficult. Sometimes
M a c o n spent a long t i m e w i t h h i m . S o m e t i m e s he didn't. It was
easier t h a n w i t h E t h a n because A l e x a n d e r w a s n ' t his o w n child.
H e could w a l k away w h e n h e w a n t e d . H e felt free.
When Muriel came home, she brought fresh air and
excitement. "Isn't it cold? Isn't it w i n d y ? E d w a r d — sit down!
G u e s s w h a t h a p p e n e d at w o r k today! W h o w a n t s apple cake for
s u p p e r ? " Often, while they w e r e eating supper, neighbours came
to see Muriel. "Muriel, I have to go to the dentist on Saturday. Can
you take me in the c a r ? " "I promised to take the children to the ..."
But w h e n the evening's television p r o g r a m m e s started, they all
w e n t h o m e . Television was the most i m p o r t a n t t h i n g here, Macon
discovered. People especially liked to w a t c h the g a m e shows. They
all h o p e d to w i n s o m e t h i n g — money, a holiday, a chance to change
their lives a little.

O n e W e d n e s d a y m o r n i n g there was a very heavy snowstorm.

W h e n M a c o n w o k e up e v e r y t h i n g was w h i t e . He could hear voices
in the kitchen. He got up a n d w e n t d o w n s t a i r s . T h e kitchen
seemed to be full of people. Muriel's sister Claire was there. After a
fight with her parents, she was staying w i t h M u r i e l . Alexander was
e a t i n g breakfast. Muriel was d r i n k i n g black coffee. A n d Muriel's
friend, Bernice, stood n e a r the door. She was covered with snow.
Claire was telling Bernice w h y she was there.
"So Ma said to m e , 'Claire, w h o was that boy you were with last
n i g h t ? ' a n d I said, 'Ma, that wasn't a boy. T h a t was my friend,
Josie,' But she d i d n ' t believe me — so I left."
T h e n they saw Macon. " H i , M a c o n , " Claire said. " D o you want
some b r e a k f a s t ? "
 A New Kind of Life

" N o , t h a n k you. Just a glass of milk."

"Well, I'll have some breakfast," said Bernice. She sat d o w n at
the table. "You and I will build a s n o w m a n , " she said to Alexander.
Suddenly E d w a r d started b a r k i n g . T h e r e was s o m e o n e a t the
door. Macon opened it a n d found his brother, C h a r l e s .
" C h a r l e s ? " M a c o n said. " W h a t are you d o i n g h e r e ? "
"There's a problem at your house," said Charles. "I can drive
you there."
H e paused a n d looked nervously a r o u n d the kitchen. T h e r e
seemed to be a lot of people.
" T h i s is Muriel's sister, Claire," Macon said. " A n d that's
Alexander, a n d that's Bernice T i l g h m a n . My brother, C h a r l e s . "
" W o u l d you like some breakfast? O r a n g e juice? Coffee?"
Claire asked Charles.
" N o , really, I " But Claire was already m a k i n g h i m some
coffee.
Charles told Macon about the p r o b l e m in his house. It was all
because of the cold w i n t e r weather. S o m e of the w a t e r pipes w e r e
broken a n d there was water everywhere.
Macon left the w a r m kitchen a n d w e n t w i t h C h a r l e s to his
house. T h e y talked about Rose's w e d d i n g . It was g o i n g to be in
April.
" W h e r e will they live?" Macon asked.
"At Julian's, I guess."
"I see," Macon said. But he found it difficult to t h i n k of Rose
living away from the Leary h o m e a n d her family of brothers.
"You seem very calm," said Charles.
"Calm? W h a t about?"
"Your house. T h e water."
" O h , that," Macon said. Yes, w h y wasn't he m o r e w o r r i e d ?
T h e y drove slowly t h r o u g h the d e e p s n o w a n d finally arrived at
The Accidental Tourist

H e paused a n d looked nervously a r o u n d the kitchen.

 A New Kind of Life

Macon's house. Inside it was terrible. W a t e r was r u n n i n g d o w n the

walls like rain. Most of the furniture was destroyed.
" O h , this is terrible!" said Charles. " W h a t are you g o i n g to d o ? "
"Let's t u r n off the water," said Macon. A n d he w e n t to the
kitchen a n d t u r n e d it off. T h e n he c a m e back to the living r o o m .
"Let's go now," said Macon. " T h e r e ' s n o t h i n g we can do.
Nobody lives here."
" W h a t ? A r e you saying that you'll just leave this?"
"Yes, w h y n o t ? "
W h e n they w e r e sitting in the car again, Charles said, "I t h i n k
it's time for a talk."
"About what?"
" A b o u t this Muriel person. W h a t d o you t h i n k y o u ' r e d o i n g ? "
"Is that w h a t you call her? ' T h i s Muriel P e r s o n ' ? "
"I can't just stand and w a t c h , M a c o n , " C h a r l e s said. "I have to
say w h a t I t h i n k . H o w old are you — forty-two, three? A n d she is
. . . but she's not your k i n d of w o m a n . "
"You d o n ' t even k n o w h e r ! "
"I k n o w her k i n d . "
"I have to go h o m e now, Charles."
Charles started the car. T h e n he said, "You're not yourself at the
m o m e n t , M a c o n . Everybody says that."
" A n d w h o is 'everybody'?"
"Porter, Rose, m e . W e ' r e all w o r r i e d a b o u t you," C h a r l e s said.
"Can w e g o n o w ? "
"Yes, fine, but I had to tell you w h a t I t h o u g h t . "
"Well, n o w I k n o w . "
But Charles looked u n h a p p y .
"Sex is not everything, you k n o w , Macon. D o n ' t destroy your
life for her. She's not your k i n d . She lives in that terrible house!
And she has that weak little boy w h o looks terribly ill "
The Accidental Tourist

"Just be quiet, C h a r l e s ! " M a c o n said.

T h e y d r o v e in silence back to Muriel's house. " T h a n k you," said
M a c o n , a n d he got o u t of the car.
" M a c o n ? " said C h a r l e s .
But M a c o n w e n t into the house a n d shut the door. Inside the
k i t c h e n it was w a r m . Claire was cooking lunch now. Bernice was
c u t t i n g A l e x a n d e r ' s hair. Muriel kissed Macon.
" O h , your cheeks are cold!" she said. " C o m e in a n d get w a r m .
L o o k at A l e x a n d e r ' s picture. H e ' s a real artist, d o n ' t you t h i n k ? "
" P e r h a p s , " said M a c o n . T h e n he w e n t upstairs to c h a n g e his
w e t trousers.

Alexander

W h e n M a c o n r e t u r n e d from his trip to San Francisco, it was

already s p r i n g in Baltimore. It was not w a r m yet b u t he drove with
the car w i n d o w s open. On Singleton Street spring flowers were
s h o w i n g in the squares of dirt in front of the houses. Suddenly
there w e r e babies on the street, a n d old people sat outside. T h e y
c a m e out of the d a r k r o o m s w h e r e they w a t c h e d television all
winter. M a c o n stopped in front of Muriel's house.
" H i t h e r e , M a c o n ! " said the n e i g h b o u r s ' d a u g h t e r s .
Muriel was at w o r k , so he decided to take E d w a r d for a walk.
O n his w a y h o m e h e saw A l e x a n d e r w i t h some other children.
" W a i t ! " A l e x a n d e r was shouting. " W a i t for m e ! " But the children
ran in front, l a u g h i n g . T h e y t u r n e d a n d looked at A l e x a n d e r and
then l a u g h e d again. A l e x a n d e r started r u n n i n g a n d nearly fell over
 Alexander

his o w n big shoes. Behind h i m came some m o r e children. T h e y too

began l a u g h i n g at h i m . A l e x a n d e r t u r n e d a n d looked at t h e m . H i s
face seemed smaller than usual. " G o ! " M a c o n told E d w a r d a n d
d r o p p e d the leash. E d w a r d ran at top speed to Alexander, b a r k i n g
loudly. T h e children ran away. E d w a r d stopped in front of
Alexander, and A l e x a n d e r p u t his a r m s r o u n d the dog's neck.
" A r e you all r i g h t ? " Macon called.
"Yes," A l e x a n d e r said, a n d stood u p .
" W h a t was h a p p e n i n g just t h e n ? "
A l e x a n d e r said, " N o t h i n g . "
But w h e n they started to walk back, he put his h a n d in Macon's.
Macon held it a n d felt both pleased a n d sad at the same time. O h ,
his life was b e c o m i n g d a n g e r o u s again. N o w he had to start
w o r r y i n g again about wars and the future of the w o r l d . A secret
t h o u g h t from the past came back to him: " N o w I will never be
completely happy."
But he was never happy before E t h a n , of course.

Julian came to the house to collect the San Francisco material.

Macon spoke to h i m in the living r o o m , b u t Julian said, "Is it your
friend that I can hear in the kitchen? Is that M u r i e l ? "
"Yes."
" A r e n ' t you going to i n t r o d u c e u s ? "
"She's busy."
"I'd really like to meet her."
"Why?"
"Macon," Julian said, " I ' m going to be part of your family soon.
Of course I ' m interested in your friends."
Macon said n o t h i n g .
" A n d I w a n t to invite her to the w e d d i n g . "
"You d o ? "
The Accidental Tourist

"So can I talk to h e r ? "

" O h , well. P e r h a p s you can."
Macon led the way into the kitchen. T h e y looked up — Muriel,
Claire a n d Bernice, all sitting at the table with a big notebook in
front of t h e m . " H e l l o , ladies," said Julian.
" T h i s is my, ah . .. boss, Julian."
"I w a n t to invite you to the w e d d i n g , Muriel. Also your little
boy, if — where's your little b o y ? "
"He's out with the d o g , " Muriel said. "But he's not very good in
churches."
" T h i s is a g a r d e n w e d d i n g . "
"Well, p e r h a p s , t h e n . I d o n ' t k n o w . "
" W e ' r e d o i n g a competition," Claire told Julian. " W e have to
w r i t e a song. You can win a trip for t w o people to Nashville. W e ' r e
all w o r k i n g on it together."
" W e ' r e g o i n g to call it ' H a p p i e r Days'," said Muriel. She sang it
to h i m in her thin, high voice:
" W h e n we kissed in the rain
W h e n we shared every pain
W h e n we both enjoyed h a p p i e r d a y s . . ."
"Yes, very good," said Julian. "But I d o n ' t k n o w a b o u t 'shared
every pain'."
" W h a t ' s w r o n g with i t ? "
"I m e a n , in h a p p i e r days did they really have p a i n ? "
" H e ' s right," Bernice told Muriel.
"Rain, brain, e n t e r t a i n , " Julian said slowly.
" O h , stop it!" said Macon.
"Before I m e t J a n e , " said Julian. " W h e n she d i d n ' t k n o w
Wayne."
" W a i t ! " Bernice shouted, w r i t i n g quickly.
"I t h i n k I'm q u i t e good at this," said Julian.
 Alexander

"I'll open the door for you, Julian," said Macon.

" W h e n we visited Spain," called Julian, following Macon across
the living room. " D o n ' t forget the w e d d i n g . "
"I'll telephone you w h e n I start the C a n a d a g u i d e , " said Macon.
" C a n a d a ! A r e n ' t you c o m i n g to the w e d d i n g ? "
"Well, that too, of course," said Macon, o p e n i n g the door.
"Wait a m i n u t e , Macon. I w a n t to show you s o m e t h i n g . A n d he
pulled a coloured m a p out of his pocket. It was a m a p of H a w a i i .
T h a t was w h e r e he was t a k i n g Rose after the w e d d i n g . He pointed
at a place on the m a p . " T h i s is our hotel," he told Macon.
"I k n o w n o t h i n g about H a w a i i , " Macon said.
" S o m e w h e r e here," Julian said. T h e n he took his finger off the
m a p and looked at Macon. "I t h i n k she'll be very good for you," he
said.
"Sorry?"
"This Muriel Person."
" W h y does everybody call her "
"She's not so bad! I d o n ' t t h i n k your family u n d e r s t a n d h o w
you're feeling."
" N o , they don't. T h e y really don't," Macon said. He was
surprised. W h y was it Julian w h o saw that?
But Julian's final words were, " W h e n we danced in the rain . . . "
Macon shut the door b e h i n d h i m .

He decided to buy A l e x a n d e r some different clothes. " W o u l d

you like some blue j e a n s ? " he asked. " W o u l d you like a cowboy
shirt and a belt?"
"Do you m e a n i t ? "
"Will you wear that k i n d of t h i n g ? "
"Oh, yes! Of course! I p r o m i s e ! "
" T h e n let's go shopping."
The Accidental Tourist

"Is M a m a c o m i n g ? "
"We'll give her a surprise."
M a c o n w a s n ' t sure w h a t M u r i e l was g o i n g t o t h i n k .
T h e y d r o v e to a s h o p w h e r e M a c o n often w e n t w i t h E t h a n . It
was just the same — full of jeans a n d cowboy shirts. M a c o n found
t h a t it w a s n ' t even painful to c o m e back here, only a bit strange.
E t h a n was dead b u t Macon was again h o l d i n g u p shirts a n d asking,
" T h i s one? T h i s o n e ? "
"I d o n ' t w a n t things to look new," said Alexander.
"You choose," said Macon.
A l e x a n d e r chose several shirts a n d a lot of jeans, because he did
not k n o w his size. He w e n t into the c h a n g i n g r o o m to try t h e m on.
M a c o n w a i t e d outside the c h a n g i n g - r o o m door.
" H o w is i t ? " he asked.
"OK."
S o m e o n e said, " M a c o n ? "
He t u r n e d a n d saw a w o m a n in a blue dress.
" L a u r e l Cranfield. I ' m Scott's m o t h e r , r e m e m b e r ? "
" O f course," M a c o n said, giving her his h a n d . A n d n o w he saw
Scott. He was in E t h a n ' s class at school. He was very tall now.
"Well, Scott, h o w nice to see you," M a c o n said.
Scott became very red a n d said n o t h i n g . L a u r e l Cranfield said,
"It's nice to see you. A r e you s h o p p i n g ? "
" O h , well, a h . . . "
He looked at the c h a n g i n g - r o o m door. " I ' m helping the son of
a friend," he explained.
" W e ' r e b u y i n g h u n d r e d s o f socks."
"Yes, I can see."
"It seems that every w e e k Scott needs n e w socks. You k n o w
h o w boys are at this age .. ."
She stopped herself a n d looked shocked.
 Alexander

"Yes, of course!" Macon said. "It's really funny, isn't i t ? " He felt
so bad for her that at first he was pleased to see a n o t h e r face b e h i n d
her. T h e n he saw w h o it was. Sarah's m o t h e r ! L a u r e l Cranfield
k n e w her too. "Well, Paula Sidley," she said. " H o w are y o u ? "
" I ' m well, t h a n k you," said Sarah's m o t h e r . " H e l l o , M a c o n . "
" H o w are y o u ? " M a c o n said.
She was beautifully dressed. Macon r e m e m b e r e d that she
always spent h o u r s on her hair a n d her face. He found it all very
false. In the early days with Sarah he w o r r i e d a b o u t it. "Will Sarah
g r o w to be like her m o t h e r ? " he asked himself then.
" A r e you b u y i n g n e w clothes for the s p r i n g ? "
"Oh, Macon's helping a friend," said Laurel Cranfield
cheerfully. She looked t o w a r d s Alexander's door. "Isn't s h o p p i n g
for boys so difficult?"
"I d o n ' t k n o w , " said Paula Sidley. "I d o n ' t have any sons. I ' m
here for the skirts."
" O h , the skirts. Well, I saw they are offering a "
" W h a t friend are you h e l p i n g ? " Paula Sidley asked Macon.
Macon d i d n ' t k n o w w h a t to tell her. He looked at the c h a n g i n g
room. He w a n t e d A l e x a n d e r to stay in t h e r e for ever. H o w was he
going to explain this thin, ill-looking child to Sarah's m o t h e r ?
Poor Alexander, w h o could never c o m p a r e w i t h E t h a n .
But, of course, A l e x a n d e r chose that m o m e n t to c o m e out.
He w o r e jeans and a big, comfortable shirt. Macon saw that his
face was fatter than before. A n d his hair, w h i c h M a c o n cut now,
looked thick a n d healthy. H i s face shone w i t h happiness.
"I look g r e a t ! " A l e x a n d e r said.
Macon t u r n e d to the t w o w o m e n a n d said, "In fact, I find that
shopping for boys is really enjoyable."
The Accidental Tourist

"I look g r e a t ! "

 Rose's Wedding

In the night he heard rain falling. It was a peaceful sound. But

w h e n h e w o k e u p , h e t h o u g h t , "Rain! O n Rose's w e d d i n g d a y ! "
H e got u p a n d w e n t d o w n t o the kitchen. H e telephoned Rose.
"Are you m o v i n g the w e d d i n g inside?" he asked her.
" W e ' v e got too m a n y guests to have it in the house," she said.
" W h y ? H o w m a n y are c o m i n g ? "
"Everyone we k n o w . "
" O h no, Rose!"
" D o n ' t worry. T h e rain will stop."
"But the grass is all wet."
" W e a r your boots," she told h i m .
Since m e e t i n g Julian she was quite different, M a c o n t h o u g h t .
But she was right about the weather. By afternoon t h e r e was a
w e a k , pale sun. Muriel decided to wear a short s u m m e r dress. She
w a n t e d A l e x a n d e r to w e a r a suit, b u t he refused. Macon said,
"Jeans a n d a good white shirt. T h a t ' s e n o u g h . "
"Well, if you're sure."
These days she listened to him about Alexander. Now she let
the child w e a r jeans to school, a n d she w o r r i e d less a b o u t his food.
T h e w e d d i n g was at three o'clock. At t w o thirty they got into
Macon's car.
"Rose w a n t s me to be with her for the m a r r i a g e p a r t of it,"
Macon told Muriel w h e n they were driving.
"You d i d n ' t tell me that."
"And Charles too."
"It's a real w e d d i n g , then," Muriel said. " N o t just t w o people
signing a piece of paper."
The Accidental Tourist

" T h a t ' s w h a t Rose w a n t e d . "

"If I ever m a r r y again, I w o n ' t do it like that," said Muriel. "I
w o u l d prefer to go away a n d do it secretly, a n d not tell anyone."
" T h i s is Rose's first t i m e , " M a c o n said.
He stopped at a traffic light and looked at Muriel. She seemed
very pretty in the n e w dress and with a pink colour in her cheeks.
" T h a t ' s if I ever decide to m a r r y , " Muriel said.
T h e y soon arrived at the Leary house. In the back garden
everyone w a s w a i t i n g . H i s b r o t h e r s w e r e there, a n d his brothers'
divorced wives a n d their children. "Is this u s u a l ? " M a c o n thought.
A n d t h e n s u d d e n l y Sarah was there and he was talking to her
a b o u t the weather. Or he was saying s o m e t h i n g , a b o u t . . . Really he
was just l o o k i n g at her, at her hair a n d her r o u n d , sweet face.
" H o w are you, M a c o n ? " she asked.
" I ' m all right."
" A r e you pleased a b o u t the w e d d i n g ? "
"Well, if Rose is pleased, t h e n I a m . But I can't help feeling . . .
well, Julian. You k n o w ? "
"Yes, I k n o w . But p e r h a p s it will be very good for t h e m both.
T h e r e ' s m o r e t o h i m t h a n you t h i n k . "
W h e n she stood in this k i n d of sunlight, her eyes looked very
clear. You could almost see the backs of t h e m . T h e y were like his
o w n eyes; he k n e w t h e m so well. He said, " A n d h o w are you?"
"I'm fine."
"Well, good."
"I k n o w you are living with someone," she told h i m .
"Well, yes, I . . . in fact I a m . "
She k n e w w h o it was too. She looked past h i m at Muriel and
Alexander.
H e said, " H o w about y o u ? "
"Me?"
 Rose's Wedding

"Are you living w i t h a n y o n e ? "

" N o t really."
Rose came over a n d touched their a r m s . " W e ' r e ready now," she
said. T h e n he a n d Sarah followed her to a place u n d e r a tree w h e r e
Julian was waiting. D u r i n g the w e d d i n g M a c o n stood next to
Sarah. It felt right to be there.

Muriel said, "I've never told you this, Macon. But before I m e t
you I was going out with a n o t h e r m a n . "
" O h , w h o was t h a t ? "
" H e w a s a c u s t o m e r at the Meow-Bow. We started a
conversation about cats a n d t h e n we w e n t o u t together. He was in
the m i d d l e of separating from his wife. She h u r t h i m terribly. He
said he couldn't ever believe in a w o m a n again. But I c h a n g e d that.
He relaxed — became a different m a n . He m o v e d in h e r e a n d we
started talking about getting m a r r i e d . T h e he m e t s o m e o n e on a
plane a n d ran away with her the next w e e k . "
"I see," M a c o n said.
"It felt very strange. P e r h a p s I m a d e h i m feel better, just so he
could go away wit h a n o t h e r w o m a n ! "
"Well," he said.
"You're not like that, are you, M a c o n ? "
"Who, me?"
"You're not the k i n d of person w h o runs away w i t h o t h e r
w o m e n ? W h o sees other w o m e n i n secret? A r e y o u ? "
" O h , Muriel, of course not."
"You're not p l a n n i n g to leave me a n d go back to your wife?"
" W h a t are you t a l k i n g a b o u t ? "
"Are you?"
" D o n ' t be silly," he said.
She put her head on one side a n d looked at h i m . H e r eyes w e r e
The Accidental Tourist

It felt r i g h t to be there.
 Rose's Wedding

intelligent, like the eyes of a small animal.

Macon w e n t w i t h Muriel to buy some shoes. W h i l e they w e r e

walking a r o u n d the shop, Muriel saw a large case. She picked it u p .
"I think I'll get this," she said.
"I t h o u g h t you w a n t e d shoes."
" T h i s is for travel."
"But you don't travel."
"I k n o w w h e r e you're going next," she said. She c a m e closer to
him, holding the case between t h e m . "I w a n t e d to ask if I could
come with you."
"To C a n a d a ? "
"I m e a n the next place after that. F r a n c e . "
Macon said n o t h i n g .
"Julian said it's time for you to go to F r a n c e again."
"You k n o w it's too expensive for you to come too."
Muriel p u t the case back a n d they left the shop.
Macon picked up E d w a r d ' s leash and told h i m to stand up.
" A n d w h a t about your w o r k ? " h e asked.
"I've stopped w o r k . "
He looked at her. " S t o p p e d ? "
"Well, I've left the M e o w - B o w . T h e other jobs are easy to "
"You've left the M e o w - B o w ? "
"Yes."
He couldn't explain the s u d d e n w e i g h t that fell on h i m .
"It d i d n ' t pay me very m u c h , " Muriel said. " A n d you do buy
most of the food n o w and help me with the rent. I d o n ' t need the
money. A n d think of the time it will give m e ! T i m e I can spend
with you and A l e x a n d e r ! A n d I w o n ' t be so tired any m o r e . You
k n o w h o w tired I am in the evenings, M a c o n . "
T h e y w a l k e d along in silence past the shops. E d w a r d looked
The Accidental Tourist

w i t h interest at a cat w h i c h lay asleep in a w i n d o w .

" M u r i e l , h o w could you leave your job like that? H o w could
you just do it? You never told m e ! "
" O h , M a c o n , it's not so i m p o r t a n t , " Muriel said. "I can always
get a n o t h e r job. I can always look after myself."
T h e y w e n t into a n o t h e r shop.
O v e r the next few days she k e p t t a l k i n g about F r a n c e . She cut
letters out of a m a g a z i n e a n d sent h i m a note with no signature:
D o n ' t F o r G e t t O B U Y p l A N e T i c k e t for M u R i e l . T h e m a g a z i n e ,
w i t h little holes in it, lay on the kitchen table. She asked h i m to get
her keys from her bag. W h e n he opened her bag, he found passport
p h o t o g r a p h s of M u r i e l inside. Of course she w a n t e d h i m to see
t h e m , b u t he said n o t h i n g . He just d r o p p e d the keys into her h a n d .

"I d o n ' t t h i n k Alexander's getting a good education," he said to

her o n e evening.
" O h , he's O K . "
"I took h i m to the shop to buy m i l k today. I asked h i m to tell me
h o w m u c h m o n e y w e should get back. But h e d i d n ' t k n o w . H e
d i d n ' t even k n o w h o w to find out."
"Well, he's only y o u n g . "
"I t h i n k he should go to a private school."
" P r i v a t e schools cost money."
"So? I'll pay."
She stopped c o o k i n g a n d looked at h i m . " W h a t are you
s a y i n g ? " she asked.
"Pardon?"
" W h a t are you saying, M a c o n ? A r e you saying you'll stay?"
M a c o n c o u g h e d . H e said, " S t a y ? "
"Alexander's got ten m o r e years of school in front of h i m . A r e
you saying you'll be here for ten years?"
 Rose's Wedding

"Ah . . . "
"I can't just put h i m into a school a n d take h i m o u t again."
He said n o t h i n g .
"Just tell me s o m e t h i n g , " she said. " D o you see us g e t t i n g
married some time? I m e a n w h e n you are really d i v o r c e d ? "
H e said, " O h , well, m a r r i a g e , M u r i e l . . . "
"You don't, do you? You don't k n o w w h a t you w a n t . O n e
minute you like m e , a n d the next m i n u t e you d o n ' t . O n e m i n u t e
you don't w a n t people to see you w i t h m e . A n d the next m i n u t e I ' m
the best t h i n g that ever h a p p e n e d to you."
He looked at her. He d i d n ' t k n o w that she read h i m so clearly.
"You t h i n k t h a t you can just go along like this, day after day
with no plans," she said. " P e r h a p s t o m o r r o w you'll be here,
perhaps you w o n ' t . P e r h a p s you'll go back to Sarah. Oh yes! I saw
the two of you at Rose's w e d d i n g . "
Macon said, "All I ' m saying is "
"All I'm saying is this," Muriel said. " D o n ' t m a k e promises to
my son if you can't k e e p t h e m . "
"But I just w a n t h i m to learn to do s u m s ! " he said.
She d i d n ' t a n s w e r a n d at supper she was too quiet. E v e n
Alexander was quiet.
In bed that night she asked, "You w o n ' t be like the others, will
you? Will you promise not to leave m e ? "
"Yes, yes," he said, half asleep. He was m o v i n g in a n d out of
dreams.
"I am i m p o r t a n t to you, a r e n ' t I ? "
" O h , Muriel, be quiet and let me sleep!" he said.
But later, w h e n she t u r n e d in her sleep and m o v e d away from
him, his feet followed hers to the other side of the bed.
Coming Home

Macon was sitting in a hotel r o o m in W i n n i p e g , Manitoba, w h e n

the t e l e p h o n e r a n g . He picked it up a n d said, "Yes?"
"Macon?"
H i s h e a r t j u m p e d . H e said, " S a r a h ? "
"Is this a bad t i m e to speak to y o u ? "
" N o , n o . . . h o w did you k n o w w h e r e I w a s ? "
"Well, Julian said you w e r e in T o r o n t o or W i n n i p e g . "
"Is a n y t h i n g w r o n g ? " M a c o n asked.
" N o , I just w a n t e d to ask if I can m o v e back into o u r house."
"Um "
"Just for a short time," she said quickly. "I have to m o v e a n d I
can't find a n e w flat."
" B u t the h o u s e is in a terrible state," he told her. " T h e r e was a
p r o b l e m w i t h the w a t e r in the winter."
"Yes, I k n o w a b o u t that."
"You d o ? "
"Your b r o t h e r s told m e . "
"My b r o t h e r s ? "
"I w e n t to ask t h e m w h e r e you were. Rose told m e . "
"You w e n t to Rose's t o o ? "
" N o , Rose was at your brothers'. She's living there at the
moment."
"I see," he said. T h e n he said, "She's living where?"
"Well, Charles's children came to stay and Rose w e n t to help."
" A n d w h a t about Julian? Is he living alone n o w ? "
"Yes, b u t Rose takes his meals to the flat," Sarah said. " H a v e you
t h o u g h t a b o u t it, M a c o n ? "
 Coming Home

H i s heart j u m p e d again. " A b o u t w h a t ? "

" A b o u t me using the house."
" O h , well it's fine with m e . But w h a t about the d a m a g e ? "
" O h , I'll look after that."
"Fine."
"By the way, the papers c a m e for o u r divorce."
"Yes."
"It was a bit of a shock. I t h i n k I just w a s n ' t p r e p a r e d for it."
Macon felt that some k i n d of d a n g e r was c o m i n g . He said, " A h !
Yes! Of course. I can u n d e r s t a n d that. Well, goodbye, Sarah."
H e p u t the telephone d o w n quickly.

She telephoned again w h e n he was in E d m o n t o n . " T h e d a m a g e

is not too bad," she said.
" G o o d , " Macon said.
"So how's the w e a t h e r ? " Sarah asked.
" K i n d of grey."
" H e r e it's sunny," Sarah said. " I ' m sorry you're not here to see it."
Macon r e m e m b e r e d something. W h e n E t h a n was a baby he
cried a lot. He wanted people to hold h i m very tightly. T h e doctor
explained that n e w babies are afraid of flying into little pieces. At the
time Macon didn't u n d e r s t a n d that. N o w he did. He saw himself
falling into pieces. He saw his head flying away into the air over
Canada.

In Vancouver she said, "Well, I've m o v e d back into the house.

We stay in the b e d r o o m , the cat a n d I."
" W h i c h cat is t h a t ? "
"Helen."
" O h , yes."
"I w e n t a n d collected her from Rose. I needed company. You
The Accidental Tourist

d o n ' t k n o w h o w lonely I a m . "

Yes he did k n o w . But he d i d n ' t say. He wasn't surprised when
she said, " M a c o n , do you . . . W h a t ' s her n a m e ? T h e person you live
with?"
"Muriel," he said.
" D o you plan to stay w i t h M u r i e l for e v e r ? "
"I really d o n ' t k n o w , " he said.

W h e n he arrived back in Baltimore, he drove to Singleton

Street. He looked for a p a r k i n g space, but he d i d n ' t stop there. He
d r o v e on to his old p a r t of t o w n . O u t s i d e the house he p a r k e d and
sat for a while in silence, l o o k i n g at it. T h e r e w e r e lights shining
softly inside. Sarah was there. It seemed that he was back home.

After breakfast, while Sarah got dressed, M a c o n took E d w a r d

for his w a l k . N e i g h b o u r s w e r e in their g a r d e n s . W h e n Macon
w a l k e d past, they spoke to him. But they d i d n ' t feel comfortable
w i t h h i m yet. It was only a few w e e k s since he c a m e back to live
with Sarah in their house. M a c o n looked at E d w a r d w a l k i n g along
happily next to h i m . He t h o u g h t a b o u t the changes in his life. In
films a n d books it all seemed very easy. People m a d e important
changes in their lives. T h e n they stopped w o r r y i n g about them and
that was that. In real life things w e r e m o r e untidy. Macon, for
e x a m p l e , h a d to collect all his things from Muriel's. Muriel
w a t c h e d in silence while he packed. Well, it wasn't true that she
said n o t h i n g . " M a c o n , " she said, "are you really d o i n g this? Can
you really just use a person, a n d then m o v e o n ? "
W h e n Sarah was dressed, they w e n t out to buy some new
furniture for the living r o o m . "You k n o w w h a t I missed most?
W h e n we w e r e separated, I m e a n ? " Sarah asked. " T h e little things.
L i k e g o i n g to the shops on Saturday."
 Coming Home

H e took her h a n d . I t was r o u n d a n d comfortable.

"Macon, I t h i n k that w h e n people get older, they just can't
choose any m o r e . I ' m w i t h you. It's too late for me to c h a n g e . "
In his head Macon h e a r d Muriel's question: " C a n you really just
use a person and then m o v e o n ? "
In the afternoon Sarah w e n t to her p a i n t i n g class. M a c o n tried
to w o r k on his book, b u t it was difficult. It was s p r i n g a n d the
insects w e r e busy in the flowers outside his w i n d o w . Insects!
Macon r e m e m b e r e d A l e x a n d e r and his p r o b l e m s . A single bite was
very d a n g e r o u s for h i m . He t h o u g h t a b o u t M u r i e l . "Will she
r e m e m b e r ? " h e asked himself. H e picked u p the telephone.
"Muriel?"
" W h a t ? " she said flatly.
"This is Macon."
"Yes, I k n o w . "
He paused. "It's spring, M u r i e l . "
"So?"
"Alexander — I m e a n , did you r e m e m b e r about his p r o b l e m s
with insects?"
"Of course I r e m e m b e r e d ! " she shouted. " W h a t do you t h i n k I
am? S t u p i d ? "
"Well, I wasn't sure, you see, that "
"That's too good! You leave the child w i t h o u t saying goodbye.
And then you worry that I ' m not looking after h i m r i g h t ! "
"I just w a n t e d to "
Somebody r a n g the doorbell a n d E d w a r d started b a r k i n g .
"Well, I'll say goodbye now," Muriel said. "You have company."
" N o , wait!" said Macon. But Muriel was gone.
Macon w e n t to the door. Julian stood there with a pile of papers.
"I've b r o u g h t you the material for Paris," he said. But M a c o n felt
that he was t h e r e for a n o t h e r reason.
The Accidental Tourist

T h e n Julian said, " I ' m afraid Rose has left m e . "

" O h , n o w you can't be sure of that."
" A n d n o t even for a good reason ! O u r m a r r i a g e was going well.
But she just can't leave that house a n d her b r o t h e r s ! "
" W h y d o n ' t you give her a job, J u l i a n ? " said Macon.
"Job?"
"Yes, Rose likes to be busy. W h y d o n ' t you s h o w her your
office? Your u n t i d y desk — that lazy secretary of yours! D o n ' t you
t h i n k Rose can p u t it all into good o r d e r ? "
"Yes, but "
"Call her. Tell her that you need her help. Say that your business
is falling to pieces."
Julian t h o u g h t a b o u t it.
" P e r h a p s y o u ' r e right, M a c o n . "

T h a t e v e n i n g M a c o n a n d Sarah w e n t out to supper. T h e n they

w a l k e d h o m e t h r o u g h e m p t y streets, past the n e i g h b o u r s ' gardens.
W h e n he was ready for bed, Sarah was already there with a
glass of water. " H a v e s o m e , " she said, h o l d i n g out the glass. But he
said n o , he was tired. In the m i d d l e of the n i g h t he w o k e up. The
room was d a r k a n d Sarah lay sleeping quietly next to him. He
t h o u g h t a b o u t his conversations w i t h Sarah a n d w i t h Muriel.
P e r h a p s , after some t i m e , people stopped being able to help the
people they lived with. He began to t h i n k about what was
i m p o r t a n t . W h o are you w h e n you are with somebody? Perhaps
this was m o r e i m p o r t a n t t h a n if you loved her.
Paris

The plane to Paris was very big. Inside, the passengers w e r e busy
getting ready for the journey. He took his seat next to a w i n d o w .
Two F r e n c h people, a m a n a n d his wife, sat next to h i m . Macon
watched the other passengers arriving. A Japanese m a n c a r r y i n g
several cameras, a y o u n g girl with long hair, a m a n in a d a r k
business suit, a w o m a n with a red bag, d a r k hair a n d a t h i n , white
face.
Muriel.
At first he felt a s u d d e n w a r m feeling — the feeling that you get
when you see someone you k n o w in a c r o w d of strangers. A n d
then: " O h , n o ! " he t h o u g h t . She w a l k e d t o w a r d s h i m slowly,
watching her feet. A n d t h e n , w h e n she was next to h i m , she lifted
her eyes. She k n e w all the time that he was there.
"I'm going to F r a n c e , " she told h i m .
"But you can't!" he said.
T h e F r e n c h people looked at him strangely. T h e wife m o v e d in
her seat to see better. M o r e passengers arrived behind Muriel. T h e y
tried to pass her. " I ' m going to walk along the Seine," M u r i e l said.
T h e n she w a l k e d on.
W h e n everyone was sitting, Macon looked b e h i n d h i m . But he
couldn't see Muriel. "Sarah will learn about this!" he t h o u g h t .
Later in the n i g h t he w e n t to the toilet a n d there was Muriel.
"Muriel, w h a t "
"You d o n ' t o w n this p l a n e ! " she told h i m . H e a d s t u r n e d .
" A n d you d o n ' t o w n Paris," she said,
"I don't u n d e r s t a n d this. H o w did you k n o w w h i c h plane I was
catching?"
The Accidental Tourist

"Oh, no!" he thought.

 Paris

"I called Julian's office."

" A n d h o w did you get the m o n e y for the flight?"
" O h , Bernice lent me some a n d so did my sister, a n d . . ."
A m a n stepped out of the toilet a n d M a c o n w e n t in. He d i d n ' t
know w h a t t o d o . W h e n h e came out Muriel, wasn't there.

T h e y arrived in Paris, a n d Macon was the first person to leave

the plane. He ran t h r o u g h the airport a n d j u m p e d into a taxi.
W h e n he was e n t e r i n g his hotel, t h o u g h , he suddenly r e m e m b e r e d .
Julian's office k n e w exactly w h e r e he was staying. T h e n he t h o u g h t
about Muriel alone in Paris. D i d she k n o w w h a t to do? D i d she
remember to c h a n g e her m o n e y at the airport? She was alone in
Paris, w i t h o u t a w o r d of the F r e n c h l a n g u a g e . . .
W h e n she came to his door, he felt almost pleased.
"Your r o o m is bigger t h a n m i n e , " she said. She w a l k e d past h i m
to the w i n d o w . "I have a better view, t h o u g h . Just t h i n k , w e ' r e
really in P a r i s ! "
" H o w did you get h e r e ? "
"By bus, of course. I b r o u g h t your g u i d e b o o k . Do you w a n t to
have breakfast at C h e z Billy? T h a t ' s w h a t your book suggests."
" N o , I don't. I can't," he said. "Please leave, M u r i e l . "
"Oh, O K , " she said. She left.
He decided to call Sarah. At h o m e it was early m o r n i n g .
"Hello," Sarah said.
"Sarah, it's M a c o n . "
"Macon, w h e r e are y o u ? " she asked. " W h a t ' s the m a t t e r ? "
" N o t h i n g . I just w a n t e d to talk to you. H o w ' s the w e a t h e r ? "
"I don't k n o w . I ' m in bed."
"Well, I'll call again."
"Yes, that'll be nice. Macon, are you all r i g h t ? "
"Yes, of course. I'll call again."
The Accidental Tourist

H e spent the m o r n i n g visiting restaurants, eating breakfasts.

He d i d n ' t go n e a r C h e z Billy. In the afternoon he walked the
streets of Paris. In the evening he r e t u r n e d to his hotel, very tired,
a n d fell o n t o his bed. T w o m i n u t e s later Muriel c a m e to his door.
H e r a r m s w e r e full of clothes. " L o o k , " she said, p u s h i n g past him.
"See w h a t I b o u g h t . " She p u t the clothes on the bed. She held them
u p , one by one. A shiny, black skirt. A pair of green trousers. A red
e v e n i n g dress with small pieces of glass, like little m i r r o r s , all over
it. " A r e you c r a z y ? " M a c o n asked. " W h a t did all that cost?"
" A l m o s t n o t h i n g , " she said. "I found a m a r k e t for old clothes. A
F r e n c h girl told me a b o u t it at the place w h e r e I had breakfast. I
told her that I liked her hat. So we started talking. I took a bus to
get there. Your book is very helpful about buses, Macon."
" B u t h o w will you get all that on the plane to go h o m e ? "
" O h , I d o n ' t k n o w . I'll find a way. N o w , let's go and eat."
" N o , I can't," M a c o n said.
" O h , what's w r o n g with eating supper with m e , Macon? I'm
s o m e o n e you k n o w from h o m e ! You've m e t me in Paris! C a n ' t we
have a meal t o g e t h e r ? "
T h e y w e n t to the B u r g e r K i n g on the C h a m p s Elysées. Macon
w a n t e d to check the place for his book. Muriel sat next to him and
he felt, suddenly, that she really was there.
" W h o ' s looking after A l e x a n d e r ? " he asked her.
" O h , different people."
" W h a t different people? I hope you haven't just left him,
Muriel. You k n o w h o w difficult it is for a child his age "
"Relax. H e ' s fine. Claire has h i m in the d a y t i m e a n d then
Bernice comes a n d cooks s u p p e r for h i m . A n d any time that Claire
needs to go out, t h e n the girls from next door will come in. If they
can't do it, then A l e x a n d e r can . . ."
 Paris

Macon saw Singleton Street in front of his eyes, w i t h all its

colour a n d noise a n d m o v e m e n t .
After supper Muriel suggested a walk. But Macon was tired, so
they r e t u r n e d to the hotel. " C a n I come to your r o o m ? " asked
Muriel. "My television doesn't w o r k . "
" N o , we have to say good night," he told her.
" C a n ' t I c o m e in just to k e e p you c o m p a n y ? "
"Muriel," he said, "don't you u n d e r s t a n d my position? I'm
married. I m a r r i e d her years a n d years ago. L o n g e r ago t h a n your
lifetime. I can't change now. D o n ' t you see?"
She just stood there with her eyes on his face. She looked y o u n g
and sad.
" G o o d night," he said.
He w e n t to bed b u t he couldn't sleep.
T h e next day he visited hotels — big ones, small ones, cheap
ones, expensive ones. In the late afternoon he was g o i n g back to the
hotel w h e n he saw Muriel in front of h i m w i t h her a r m s full of
packages. " M u r i e l ! " he called. She t u r n e d a n d he ran to meet her.
" O h , Macon, I've h a d the nicest day!" she said. "I m e t some
people from Dijon a n d we h a d lunch together a n d they told me
a b o u t . . . H e r e , can you carry these? I t h i n k I b o u g h t too m u c h . "
He carried several of her packages up to her r o o m .
" W h e r e are you going t o m o r r o w , M a c o n ? "
" O u t of Paris. T o m o r r o w I start on the other cities."
"You're leaving me here a l o n e ? "
" T h i s is w o r k , Muriel, not fun."
" T a k e m e w i t h you."
"I can't."
"So, w h e r e are we h a v i n g d i n n e r t o n i g h t ? "
"Well, I d o n ' t k n o w . I t h i n k it's t i m e to try s o m e w h e r e
expensive."
The Accidental Tourist

"Oh, good!"
He w a t c h e d her do her hair a n d t h e n they w e n t out.

At t h e e n d of the e v e n i n g she asked h i m to c o m e to her room.

Just for the company. " N o , " he said. "Good night, Muriel." While
he was falling asleep, he t h o u g h t about t a k i n g her with him
t o m o r r o w . It was only a day trip.
In the m o r n i n g he got out of bed a n d p u t out his h a n d for the
telephone. He felt a s u d d e n pain in his back. Oh n o ! T h i s was not
the first time. Last t i m e he had a p r o b l e m w i t h his back, he had to
stay in bed for t w o weeks. He m o v e d very slowly — perhaps it was
all right. But n o , the pain r e t u r n e d . He lay d o w n a n d thought
about the situation. He fell asleep again. He w o k e to hear someone
outside his door. At first he t h o u g h t it was breakfast and then he
heard Muriel. "Macon? A r e you in t h e r e ? " He k n e w what she
w a n t e d . She was h o p i n g he was in his r o o m . She was going to ask
if she could go w i t h h i m . He felt n o w that his back pain was a piece
of luck. Last n i g h t he was very near to falling again. "Falling" —
that was h o w he t h o u g h t of it. He w e n t back to sleep.
L a t e r in the day a waitress b r o u g h t h i m some food a n d helped
h i m with the telephone. He r a n g Julian's office. A voice answered.
"Um .. . this is M a c o n Leary. W h o . . . ?"
"Oh, Macon."
"Rose?"
"Yes, it's m e . "
" W h a t are you d o i n g t h e r e ? "
"I w o r k here now."
" O h , I see."
" I ' m p u t t i n g things in order. T h i s office is in a terrible state!"
"Rose, I've got the old p r o b l e m w i t h my back."
" O h , n o . A r e you in P a r i s ? "
 Paris

He felt a s u d d e n pain in his back.

The Accidental Tourist

"Yes, but I need to c h a n g e my plans."

" D o n ' t worry. I'll look after everything. Rest, Macon."
All that afternoon he lay in bed a n d in the evening the waitress
b r o u g h t h i m some food. Later he h e a r d Muriel again outside his
door. "Macon? M a c o n ? " He did not reply.
W h e n he was h a v i n g breakfast the next m o r n i n g , Sarah
arrived. She was w e a r i n g a business suit. " N o w everything's all
right," she said. " I ' m g o i n g to m a k e your day trips for you."
" H o w did you get here so q u i c k l y ? "
" O h , it's Rose. She's completely c h a n g e d that office." She kissed
h i m a n d got a glass from the b a t h r o o m . " H e r e , take this. It's
m e d i c i n e from D r Levitt."
"You k n o w I d o n ' t t a k e medicine."
" T h i s time you will. A n d you have to sleep a lot."
H e took the m e d i c i n e .
"Is the pain b a d ? " she asked h i m .
" Q u i t e bad."
He slept all t h r o u g h the m o r n i n g . T h e n Sarah was back again.
She gave h i m some m o r e medicine. " M a c o n , " she said quietly.
"Hmm."
"I saw that w o m a n friend of yours."
T h e pain shot t h r o u g h his back.
"She saw me too. She seemed very surprised."
" S a r a h , this is not the way it looks."
" W h a t is it t h e n , M a c o n ? I'd like to hear."
He told her. She kept looking at h i m . "You d i d n ' t k n o w until
just before the plane left?" she said.
" T h a t ' s right. You d o believe m e , d o n ' t y o u ? "
"Yes, I believe you. I t h i n k we should change your ticket. W h e n
I finish your trips, we should stay here. We should have a holiday.
Just the t w o of us."
 Paris

"That's a nice idea."

"Did I tell you w h e r e Julian is living n o w ? "
"No, where?"
"He's m o v e d in w i t h Rose a n d your b r o t h e r s . "
"He's d o n e what?"
"I took E d w a r d over to Rose's. He's staying there while I ' m
here. A n d there was Julian."
"Well," Macon said.
T h e n she asked, "Tell m e , Macon. W a s it because of the little
boy?"
"What?"
"Did you like her at first because she had a c h i l d ? "
"Sarah, I had no idea that she was g o i n g to follow me here."
"Yes, I k n o w that. But I was t h i n k i n g about the child question."
" W h a t child q u e s t i o n ? "
" D o n ' t you r e m e m b e r ? You said we should have a n o t h e r baby."
"Oh well, that was j u s t . . . I d o n ' t k n o w w h a t that was," he said.
"I was t h i n k i n g p e r h a p s you w e r e right," Sarah said.
" W h a t ? N o , Sarah. T h a t was a terrible idea."
"Oh I k n o w , it's frightening."
"Exactly," Macon said. " W e ' r e too old,"
" N o , I ' m t a l k i n g a b o u t the w o r l d we live in. T h e r e ' s so m u c h
clanger in it. It is difficult to b r i n g up a child in this w o r l d . "
In his head, Macon saw Singleton Street. He felt that he was
watching it from a great distance. It was full of people, w a s h i n g
their w i n d o w s , cleaning their cars, playing in the streets.
"Oh well, you're right," he said. "But most people do try. T h a t ' s
really good, isn't i t ? "
"Are you saying yes, we can have a b a b y ? "
"Well, no. It seems to me we are past the time for that, Sarah."
"So, the little boy wasn't the r e a s o n ? "
The Accidental Tourist

" L o o k , it's finished. C a n ' t we forget i t ? "

" B u t I d o n ' t have somebody following me to P a r i s ! " she said.

She gave h i m m o r e m e d i c i n e that night b u t he d i d n ' t take it. He

lay w i t h his eyes closed while Sarah got ready for bed. T h e n he lay
a w a k e t h i n k i n g . E v e r y t h i n g that h a p p e n e d to h i m in his life
simply h a p p e n e d to h i m . He never took action himself. His
m a r r i a g e , his jobs, his t i m e w i t h Muriel, his r e t u r n to Sarah — it
all just h a p p e n e d .
W a s it too late to begin again n o w ? W a s there any way he could
learn to do things differently?

In the m o r n i n g he got up painfully a n d w e n t to the bathroom.

H e w a s h e d a n d dressed a n d packed his bag.
Sarah said, " M a c o n ? "
" S a r a h , I ' m pleased you're a w a k e . "
" W h a t are you d o i n g ? "
" I ' m p a c k i n g to leave."
She sat u p . "But w h a t about your b a c k ? " she asked. " A n d our
holiday?"
"Sarah," he said. He sat on the bed a n d picked up her h a n d . She
w a t c h e d his face.
"You're going back to that w o m a n , " she said.
"Yes, I a m . "
"Why, Macon?"
"I just decided, Sarah. I t h o u g h t about it most of last night. It
wasn't easy. It's not the easy way out, believe m e . "
She sat, l o o k i n g at h i m .
"Well, I d o n ' t w a n t to miss the plane," he said.
"It's the m e d i c i n e , " she said. "You said it m a d e you feel
strange."
 Paris

"I d i d n ' t take the medicine."

T h e r e was a silence.
" D o you k n o w w h a t your life is going to be l i k e ? " she said. She
climbed out of bed. "You a n d Muriel — you'll be one of those
strange pairs that nobody w a n t s to invite to a party. People w o n ' t
understand. E v e r y w h e r e they'll ask, ' W h y is he w i t h h e r ? ' A n d her
friends will ask the same about her and you."
" T h a t ' s probably t r u e , " M a c o n said. But h e k n e w n o w h o w
people like he a n d Muriel c a m e together. He k n e w there w e r e
reasons that the rest of the w o r l d could never u n d e r s t a n d .
" I ' m sorry, Sarah. I d i d n ' t w a n t to decide this."
He put his a r m r o u n d her a n d she p u t her head on his shoulder.
He t h o u g h t that even this was probably just a n o t h e r stage in their
marriage.

O u t in the street he w a l k e d quite a long way before he finally

found a taxi. He told the driver to go to the airport. T h e taxi t u r n e d
r o u n d and drove back past Macon's hotel. W h e n they passed the
hotel, there was Muriel. She stood w i t h bags a n d cases all r o u n d
her. She was trying to stop a taxi. First the one in front, a n d t h e n
Macon's o w n taxi. " S t o p ! " M a c o n cried to the driver. T h e taxi
stopped and suddenly the m o r n i n g sun hit the w i n d o w . L i g h t filled
the inside of the car.
Word List

bark (n/v) the l o u d , s h a r p s o u n d of a d o g

Camp (n) a place w h e r e people live in tents for a short time, often for a holiday

distance (n) the a m o u n t of space b e t w e e n t w o places

divorce (n) the e n d i n g of a m a r r i a g e , by law

elephant (n) a very large animal with a very long nose w h i c h it can pick things up
w i t h . Elephants c o m e from Africa a n d India.

happen (v) to t a k e place

hi a w o r d for hello

jeans (n pl) trousers m a d e of strong cotton cloth. Jeans are usually blue.

leash (n) a piece of leather (or other material) w h i c h is tied to a dog's neck. W h e n
you are h o l d i n g the o t h e r end of a leash, the d o g cannot run away.

ma, mama (n) w o r d s used by children w h e n they speak to their m o t h e r

pizza (n) a r o u n d , flat piece of bread which is covered with cheese and other food.
Pizzas c o m e from Italy.

point (v) to hold your finger o u t t o w a r d s s o m e o n e or s o m e t h i n g

publisher (n) a person w h o w o r k s with books. Publishers p r e p a r e books and offer

t h e m for sale.

ring (v) to m a k e the s o u n d of a bell

sensible (adj) s h o w i n g good j u d g m e n t . S o m e t i m e s a sensible person leads an

u n e x c i t i n g life.

Separate (v) to decide to stop living together. H u s b a n d s a n d wives usually separate

before they divorce.

share (v) to o w n , use or do s o m e t h i n g w i t h o t h e r people

shock (n) a feeling of great surprise, usually because of s o m e t h i n g bad

train (v) to teach an a n i m a l to follow instructions

vet (n) a d o c t o r for a n i m a l s . A vet's is the place w h e r e a vet w o r k s .

Chapters 1 - 3

Before you read

1 W h e n t h e story b e g i n s , M a c o n ' s wife h a s left h i m . H o w d o e s h e feel, d o
you t h i n k ?

2 B e c a u s e o f his w o r k M a c o n h a s t o t r a v e l a w a y f r o m h o m e . B u t h e also h a s
a d o g . W h a t p r o b l e m s d o y o u t h i n k h e will h a v e ?

After you read: Understanding

3 N a m e these people. W h a t do we k n o w about t h e m ?
1 the dog trainer 2 M a c o n ' s son 3 M a c o n ' s wife
4 M a c o n ' s sister 5 Macon's publisher 6 Macon's dog

After you read: Speaking

4 D e s c r i b e M u r i e l . W h a t k i n d o f p e r s o n i s she? H o w i s she d i f f e r e n t f r o m
Macon?

5 D i s c u s s M a c o n ' s idea a b o u t t r a v e l : "It's n o t very i n t e r e s t i n g really. T i c k e t s ,

a i r p o r t s , s t a t i o n s . . ." Do y o u a g r e e ?

Chapters 4 - 6

Before you read

6 M a c o n ' s wife, S a r a h , w a n t s t o m e e t h i m i n a r e s t a u r a n t . M a c o n a g r e e s .
W h a t will they talk a b o u t ?

7 Muriel has stopped t r a i n i n g E d w a r d . W h a t will E d w a r d do?

The Accidental Tourist

After you read: Understanding

8 A r e t h e s e s e n t e n c e s t r u e or false?
1 M a c o n w a n t s t o live w i t h his wife a g a i n .
2 Sarah wants to r e t u r n to Macon.
3 M a c o n ' s b r o t h e r s a n d sister l i k e l o o k i n g after E d w a r d .
4 M u r i e l i s l o o k i n g after h e r son a l o n e .
5 M a c o n tells M u r i e l h o w h e feels a b o u t his son's d e a t h .

9 W h o a r e t h e s p e a k e r s a n d w h o a r e t h e y t a l k i n g to?
1 " Y o u d o n ' t let t h i n g s t o u c h y o u . "
2 "You're very y o u n g to be at the doctor's alone."
3 "I c a n ' t go to d i n n e r w i t h p e o p l e . I c a n ' t t a l k to t h e i r little b o y s ! "

After you read: Speaking

10 W o r k i n p a i r s . A c t o u t t h e t e l e p h o n e c o n v e r s a t i o n b e t w e e n M a c o n , i n the
restaurant in N e w York, and Muriel.
Student A: Y o u a r e M a c o n . E x p l a i n C h a r l e s ' s p r o b l e m a n d tell M u r i e l
a b o u t y o u r fear.
Student B: Y o u a r e M u r i e l . A n s w e r t h e t e l e p h o n e . T r y to h e l p M a c o n .

Chapters 7 - 9

Before you read

11 M a c o n s t a r t s to live w i t h M u r i e l . H o w will his family feel a b o u t this?

After you read: Understanding

12 A n s w e r questions about the chapter headings.

A New Kind of Life

1 H o w d o e s M a c o n ' s life c h a n g e ?
2 H o w is A l e x a n d e r ' s life d i f f e r e n t n o w ?

Alexander
3 Is A l e x a n d e r h a p p y at school?
4 W h y does M a c o n buy h i m n e w clothes?
 Activities

Rose's Wedding
5 Is M a c o n pleased t h a t R o s e is m a r r y i n g J u l i a n ?
6 H o w d o e s M a c o n feel w h e n h e m e e t s S a r a h a t t h e w e d d i n g ?

13 W h o do these w o r d s describe? W h a t is the situation?

1 " ' I look g r e a t ! ' "
2 " S h e s e e m e d very p r e t t y i n t h e n e w d r e s s a n d w i t h a p i n k c o l o u r i n h e r
cheeks."
3 " H e w a s just l o o k i n g a t her, a t h e r h a i r a n d h e r r o u n d , s w e e t face."
4 " H e r eyes w e r e i n t e l l i g e n t , l i k e t h e eyes o f a s m a l l a n i m a l . "

After you read: Speaking

1 4 I m a g i n e t h a t y o u a r e A l e x a n d e r . D e s c r i b e y o u r visit t o t h e c l o t h e s s h o p .

15 J u l i a n says to M a c o n : " S h e ' s n o t s o b a d ! I d o n ' t t h i n k y o u r f a m i l y k n o w s

h o w y o u ' r e f e e l i n g . " H o w i s M a c o n feeling?

Chapters 1 0 - 1 1

Before you read

16 S a r a h m o v e s b a c k i n t o t h e old h o u s e . S h e w a n t s t o live w i t h M a c o n a g a i n .
W h a t will h e d o ?

17 M a c o n h a s t o g o t o P a r i s t o w o r k o n his g u i d e b o o k . W h a t will h e d o
there?

After you read: Understanding

18 W h y does:
1 Rose leave Julian?
2 R o s e a g r e e to w o r k for J u l i a n ?
3 M a c o n r e t u r n to S a r a h ?
4 M u r i e l fly to P a r i s ?
5 S a r a h fly to P a r i s ?
6 M a c o n leave S a r a h in P a r i s ?
The Accidental Tourist

After you read: Speaking

19 W h o a r e t h e s p e a k e r s a n d w h o a r e t h e y t a l k i n g to? W o r k i n pairs. Discuss
w h a t they m e a n .
1 " I t h i n k t h a t w h e n p e o p l e g e t o l d e r , t h e y just c a n ' t c h o o s e a n y m o r e .
I'm with you."
2 " D o n ' t you u n d e r s t a n d my position? I'm married."
3 "It w a s n ' t easy. It's n o t t h e easy w a y o u t , believe m e . "
4 " D o y o u k n o w w h a t y o u r life i s g o i n g t o b e l i k e ? "

Whole book

Writing
1 S a r a h says t o M a c o n : " Y o u ' r e just a n a c c i d e n t a l t o u r i s t t o o ! " W h a t does
she m e a n ? Do you agree?

2 I m a g i n e t h a t y o u a r e E d w a r d . W r i t e t h e story o f h o w M a c o n f i r s t meets
Muriel.

3 " W h o a r e y o u w h e n y o u a r e w i t h s o m e b o d y ? P e r h a p s this w a s m o r e
i m p o r t a n t t h a n i f y o u loved her." D o y o u a g r e e ?

4 I m a g i n e t h a t y o u a r e M u r i e l . W r i t e a letter f r o m P a r i s t o y o u r sister.

5 D i d M a c o n m a k e t h e r i g h t decision a t t h e e n d o f t h e story? G i v e t h e
r e a s o n s for y o u r a n s w e r .

6 Y o u r o w n t o w n is g o i n g t o b e in a n Accidental Tourist guidebook. Write

a b o u t t h r e e places w h i c h M a c o n ' s r e a d e r s w o u l d l i k e .