When Love Hurts!

Francis T’s
Commentary on
Arturo B Rotor’s
“Zita.”

1|P age
Introductory Remarks
I have so many things to say actually, but let me just put it in three points.

First of all, I thought that it would be a great help, that before going to my
observations, the reader would first know the summary of the story, so that he
could enjoy the details, and will not get tired or bored about knowing what’s the
point of the story. Actually the flow of the story is “zigzag” in transition, and
confusing in conversation, and so I think “summary” is necessary here for us to get
an overview and to wet our mental appetite as well, with an expectation to get
something beneficial as we study this love story written by Arturo B. Rotor which is
entitled “Zita.”

Second, although the main point of the story is about unanswered love but in my
commentary, I also pointed out different issues that I personally saw from the story.
But don’t worry; I’d make it sure that I commented enough concerning love,
particularly on the “hurts” that it does to us when our love is not appreciated in
return.

Third, the commentator is a Christian.

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Summary
This is the summary that I got from Wikianswers.com.1

Zita is about a brokenhearted teacher who comes to the land of Anayat.

He arrived riding a sailboat. The municipal president offers him a big
room at his house to stay but refuses and lives in a small hut. From the
minute Mr. Reteche stepped on the shores of Anayat, his lonesomeness
was apparent for the villagers.

He comes across his student Zita, the innocent province girl who
coincidentally has the same name as her past lover.

Zita becomes fond of her gloomy teacher and soon grew keen and
observant with his actions. Later she discovers that Mr. Reteche was
saddest whenever a certain mail arrives: a letter enveloped in blue.

Zita's father asks Mr. Reteche to teach his daughter how to be 'a lady'. He
agrees and teaches her how to dress, act and dance like a city lady. One
day he told Zita to dress accordingly as he will teach her a Spanish dance.
She does so and manages to show up like a true lady. She dances
dreamily with her teacher, but Mr. Reteche doesn’t show any affection
towards her. Their dance was paused by Turong, a messenger, who hands
him a blue envelope. But he tore the letter into pieces. She asks him why
he tears it when he will only pick them up and put it together. Then he
explains that soon she will someday understand.

After a while, Zita realizes that her teacher will soon go.

On the day that he will depart, she tried to be in her very best. She was
well dressed, and made-up. She waited impatiently for her teacher to
come by her house and bid her farewell. Soon Turong arrives and gives
her a letter. She opened the window and spots a sailboat not too far away.
She sees a man standing. It was Mr. Reteche. His silhouette was slowly
disappearing, but she was quite sure he was looking at her. Suddenly she
realizes that the letter she was holding, she was unaware she had it torn
apart... slowly... painfully... she picks them up and put it all together.

1
Retrieved October 12, 2012 from:
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_zita_by_arturo_rotor_all_about#ixzz27SPY7gbQ

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Commentary

“TURONG brought him from Pauambang in his small sailboat, for the coastwise
steamer did not stop at any little island of broken cliffs and coconut palms. It was
almost midday; they had been standing in that white glare where the tiniest pebble and
fluted conch had become points of light, piercing-bright--the municipal president, the
parish priest, Don Eliodoro who owned almost all the coconuts, the herb doctor, the
village character. Their mild surprise over when he spoke in their native dialect, they
looked at him more closely and his easy manner did not deceive them. His head was
uncovered and he had a way of bringing the back of his hand to his brow or mouth; they
read behind that too, it was not a gesture of protection. "An exile has come to Anayat…
and he is so young, so young." So young and lonely and sufficient unto himself. There
was no mistaking the stamp of a strong decision on that brow, the brow of those who
have to be cold and haughty, those shoulders stooped slightly, less from the burden that
they bore than from a carefully cultivated air of unconcern; no common school-teacher
could dress so carelessly and not appear shoddy.”

For Turong to bring Reteche to Anayat just implies that he is not just a “nobody”
fisherman, but he is a recognized dependable and trustworthy man in the barrio.
The author did not give further details why Turong is the one who brought Reteche
to the barrio, but we can guess that since he is a fisherman, he may have own a boat
which is useful for delivering goods or fetching people from the city into the barrio.

According to the author, Reteche came “from Pauambang.” We don’t know exactly
where “Pauambang” and “Anayat” in the Philippines are, but maybe the author was
just making fictitious names using real beautiful barrios in the provinces that he
encountered and just renamed it according to his own creativity.

Based from the description that Arturo used for “Anayat,” his portrayal shows that
this barrio is a beautiful place, which is rich in natural resources, but not yet
developed in a modern way. It is also shown that “Don Eliodoro” is the “priest” and
the “municipal president” in this barrio. And it is interesting to note that although
he is a priest, but he owns a large amount of possession in the land. This detail
somehow shows us that the recognized leader during those times were the priests,
under the influence of course of the Roman Catholic Church in our country. This is
also what we can read and see in the book of our national hero Jose Rizal whose
book entitled “Noli Me Tangere” describes clearly how the priests ruled our country
during the Spanish regime.

It is interesting that Don Eliodoro himself iniatiated to meet Reteche in his arrival
to the barrio. We don’t know exactly the “why,” but I think as a leader of the barrio,
this is an act of hospitality for the stranger, or rather a way of checking if the new
stranger in the barrio is not a threat or an enemy.

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Now about Reteche himself, I think Don Eliodoro and the citizens of the barrio does
not need to worry about this man, because as the author described Reteche, he is a
man whose deep sadness is obvious in his face. Actually, we can say that Reteche
during this time is not yet fully recovered from whatever problems he was
struggling about. So of course, if you will encounter a person like that, your natural
reaction is “pity” for him. You will not be afraid of a person who is sad or trouble
hearted, because sadness makes a person weak, though in some ways, depending on
a situation, sadnesss with revenge and irritation makes a person aggressive. Also,
there are persons in our society who may look sad and pity, but in reality, they are
just not showing their emotions because they are hiding something either for good
or bad.

About the “age” of Reteche, the author said that he is “so young.” I guess his age is
21 years old.

The other thing that gave confidence to the barrio about Reteche was the ability of
this young stranger to speak in their own language. Now we don’t know why he can
speak in their language; maybe he was raised from this barrio, or maybe he studied
to learn it, or maybe he was born and raised into a place where the language is the
same with this barrio. We don’t also know what language is spoken in Anayat, we
don’t know if it’s Bicol, Cebuano, or Ilocano, or whatever, but I have a guessed it’s
not Tagalog.

Now, language is a means for relationship. Language is a builder of relationship.

And here in the Phillipppines, I think the reason why the sense and spirit of unity
is so weak in our country is because we don’t have “one language.” Yes, I know that
we have a “national language,” which we may call our “one language,” but in my
observation, this is just a show-off, because in reality when you face different
cultures here in our country, not all Filipinos are proud to speak “Filipino” or let’s
say “Tagalog” as their language. Why? Well because for them, “Tagalog” is the
language of the “Tagalog Culture” which is deemed as a culture of proud persons.

So just think about it, you came from Tarlac, and then you are brought to Bicol
region where “Bicol” is the native language, and the bad news is, you don’t know
how to speak Bicol. Now, do you think you’ll become “in” to or among the people?
Now, for some, because of their “Public relation” skills, they somehow gain close
connection with the people, but for many others, no. Same also with the language of
“Tagalog” and “Ilocanos” or the “Cordillerans,” these people can’t have close-
relationship because there is “culture-clash,” there is a “language-clash.”

Actually for me, the plurality of language in our country is a pestilence. If I will
become the President of the Philippines, I will make it sure that part of my
unification strategies to unite the country is to have “one language.” I will even
declare “Martial law,” if the people will not obey my orders. As a Filipinos I am
envious of other countries like Japan, Korea, and China, they have one language,
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and yes I know there are also differences, but I believe it’s not in form or language
itself, but in diction, pitch, and something like that. Now here in our country, we
have many different languages, and for this reason, we have also many culture
clashes and mental wars.

Now in this story, Reteche is said to be able to speak in the language of the barrio,
and because of this, he can easily adapt and build relationship with the people
which is a very important thing when you are settling in a province or place which
is foreign to you.

They had prepared a room for him in Don Eliodoro's house so that he would not have to
walk far to school every morning, but he gave nothing more than a glance at the big
stone building with its Spanish azotea, its arched doorways, its flagged courtyard. He
chose instead Turong's home, a shaky hut near the sea. Was the sea rough and
dangerous at times? He did not mind it. Was the place far from the church and the
schoolhouse? The walk would do him good. Would he not feel lonely with nobody but an
illiterate fisherman for a companion? He was used to living alone.

And they let him do as he wanted, for the old men knew that it was not so much the
nearness of the sea that he desired as its silence so that he might tell it secrets he could
not tell anyone else.

In this scenario, we can see that Don Eliodoro was very accommodating to Reteche.
Again, we don’t know the exact reason for this special accommodation, in spite of
the fact that Reteche is just a stranger. Who are you to be given with special
attention? Unless you are a well known celebrity or you have made big
contributions to the society, or you are anticipated or recognized as a well-able
person to do great things for the betterment of the people just like for example
Manny Pacquio. Well I guess in the case of Reteche, the special treatment might be
because he’s a teacher. Maybe, during that time, particularly in this so-called
“Anayat” area, there were no yet enough teachers to cater to the educational needs
of the people, and so maybe if you’re a teacher you’re a great demand. Unlike in our
present condition, although we have many LET passer teachers, yet, many of them
are not working according to their pledged profession, because our country does not
have enough room or opportunity for them; Or, those LET passers themselves
doesn’t have instinct interest and mission about their profession; part of the reasons
is because many are just looking for money, not mission and legacy.

Concerning Reteche, I also experienced the big respect of the barrio people to
teachers because during my 6 grade in my province, I saw parents and students
how they respect their teachers, and how they are happy and priviledged when they
are visited by their teachers at home, or when they are talked to in the streets.

Again, about Reteche, I just wonder if he is a “Pinoy.” Do you think he is a pure

blooded Pinoy? I think the name “Reteche” is not pinoy. It is Spanish in
“morphology” just like the name “Eliodoro.” Well, of course, we know that during

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the reign of the Spaniards here in our country, our original Filipino names were
also changed, just like for example from the names “Lapu-lapu” and “Sikatuna” it
became “Juan,” “Pedro,” “Andres,” or “Thomas.” Well, I have a feeling (not only
because of name, but because of situations) that “Reteche” is not a pureblooded
Pinoy just like Don Eliodoro. And maybe this is one of the reasons why Don Eliodoro
had a special treatment for Reteche, because maybe he’s also“Spanish” in heritage.

Now, just think about it, Don Elidoro had prepared a comfortable place for Reteche
in his mansionic house. Out of good intention, Eliodoro offered a very “VIP” place for
Reteche, considering also that the location of Elidoro’s mansion is located near at
the local church and at the school.

In this scenario, we can see the generosity of Eliodoro to this man, however, in spite
of this gracious proposal it is interesting to see that Reteche denied the offer. Now
we don’t know in what manner or reaction did Reteche refuse the offer, but the
author did not say that Eliodoro got mad; because maybe, this is not the point and
an important detail for the story and I think yah maybe true.

Well, the point in this case is, Reteche refused the good offer of Don Eliodoro, and I
think basing from the author’s intention, he wants to point out in the story that
Reteche had a very important reason for this refusal. And that refusal is seen in the
sadness that sorrounds his person and grips his obvious broken heart.

According to the words of the author, Reteche chose to live under the Nipa hut
house of the friendly fisherman Turong. This Nipa house according to the author’s
description is small and shaky, that when a stupendous wind comes, it can be easily
crushed down.

Now I think, this is the lesson that we can learn from this story, if indeed this is the
lesson that the author wants us to learn. Well, in observation, we can see here that,
to a broken hearted, distressed, and wounded, the sight of material comfort is
tastless and grayish because true happiness, heart-gladness is not based upon
material wealth and physical comfort. That’s because if the heart is broken, the food
becomes tasteless and money becomes worthless.

The sad and distressed Reteche chose to live in a poor house of Turong which is
near at the seashore because according to the author, that location can give Reteche
enough privacy, and the waves of the sea can become a friend to him. Through the
noise of these waves, he can speak forth freely what’s inside his heart, without fear
of being misinterpred or laughed at. So I think this is what is inside his mind, he
wants a place where he can air all his distress personally and freely. Yes in
Eliodoro’s mansion, he will certainly have comfy bed and luscious food, but he will
become like a bird in a golden cage.

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By the way, the fact that Reteche chose to live with Turong just implies that Turong
and Reteche had somehow built close connection with each other. We don’t know
where and when it began, but it’s just interesting that among the many houses or
(rent houses if any) in the barrio, Reteche prefered the house of Turong, and one of
the fit reasons for this is because there’s a friendship between them. Not only that,
maybe Reteche thought that if he’ll gonna live with Turong, he will have more
private times, because remember, Turong is a diligent fisherman or delivery boy. He
may not be always staying in his Nipa, and this diligence of Turong is a point or
advantage for Reteche’s wish for privacy.

They thought of nobody but him; they talked about him in the barber shop, in the
cockpit, in the sari-sari store, the way he walked, the way he looked at you, his unruly
hair. They dressed him in purple and linen, in myth and mystery, put him astride a
black stallion, at the wheel of a blue automobile. Mr. Reteche? Mr. Reteche! The name
suggested the fantasy and the glitter of a place and people they never would see; he was
the scion of a powerful family, a poet and artist, a prince.

The arrival and presence of Reteche in Barrio of Anayat became the people’s crispy
chitchat. He became well known because of his unique attitude and mysterious
behavior. Even the style of his hair didn’t escape from the people’s notice. I just
thought, is this how people see the “loners” or the “emos” of our society?

In this scenario, the author seems to say that the name “Reteche” carries an idea
that this main character in the story came from an influential family. The author
seems also to show that Reteche is a good speaker and possesses charisma. These
are the things that maybe the people of the barrio are chatting everyday about this
man. And yes of course, if you’re “new,” you’ll become the “news.” They want to
know Reteche, but the problem is, they can’t, because this young man is always
silent, serious, and no time for chattery.

This scenario just tells us that even from the author’s time, there were already
“emo” image, this is not new; nothings new under the sun, everything is just in a
cycle.

That night, Don Eliodoro had the story from his daughter of his first day in the
classroom; she perched wide-eyed, low-voiced, short of breath on the arm of his chair.

Frankly, this is one of the things that I don’t like in the style of the story, there is no
smooth transition. Because of this, I am tempted to think that the
unpredictableness of the story is not because of the intelligent and puzzling details,
but because of a poor transition. Just think about it, how can you follow a story
without a smooth transition? You are lost, no sign post, or traffic lights. Yes in this
case, I see that there is a destination in the style of the story, but the road to that
destination is zigzag, and because of that, the reader is vomitly lost in the road.
Well, with due respect if this short story gained fame among the Filipino writers, I

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think it’s not because of it’s intelligent content just like that of Rizal’s novel, but
because of its zigzag transition.

Add to this, I also observed that according to the story, “Eliodoro” is said to be a
“priest.” But here, it is said that he have a “daughter.” Well, I don’t know what the
word “daughter” means here. I can guess of two things, first is, the meaning of the
word “daughter” is not in a “parent-child” meaning but rather an “endearment”
address for a person who has a close connection to you, maybe as a teacher, priest,
or respected elder. The second is, “Zita” is a daughter of Eliodoro in a biological
sense, and if this is true, since he is called as “priest” this is controversial, because
in the Roman Catholic pledge for Priestly Celibacy, you have to remain single and
without sexual relationship with others. It is a disgrace for a priest to have
biological “children” or commit sexual sins. But maybe for a third consideration,
maybe the title “priest” that is connected with Eliodoro isn’t a Roman Catholic
Church’s idea of a priest. Maybe he is a “priest” in a different religious function.
Well whatever, but the 2nd point seems to be the obvious in the story.

"He strode into the room, very tall and serious and polite, stood in front of us and looked
at us all over and yet did not seem to see us.

Okay in this scenario, it’s Zita the “daughter” of Eliodoro who told us the story
about her first encounter with Reteche. The setting is in the school, and again we
can see the countenance of Reteche seen as serious but respectable.

I think, this scenario is also teaching our teachers to be cautious about their
professional attitude in the school. Yes, I know that teacher needs to be serious in
his profession, but I think, if your seriousness is same with Reteche’s attitude here,
I think you’re missing the important character of being a good teacher. I really
believe that you cannot create an atmosphere of healthy learning in the room if your
aura is only serious. Yes, you need to be serious for discipline and authority sake,
but you must balance it with humour and approachable attitudes to build up
connection with your students. There must be balance between authority and
relationship.

In the case of Reteche, yes, Zita said, he “stood in front of us and looked at us all
over, and YET did not seem to see us.” See that? As a professional, don’t bring in the
school your personal problems. I know this is hard, but this is the reason why you
are called “professional.” As a teacher, you must have sufficient “self-control.” It’s
good to be seen sad sometimes by your students, it will help them to see you as
human being as well who is vulnerable to earthly problems, and they may somehow
help you, but the point is, don’t let your emotion ruin the class. Teach them also real
life lessons, through your experience and be a role model.

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 "'Good morning, teacher,' we said timidly.

"He bowed as if we were his equals. He asked for the fist of our names and as he read off
each one, we looked at him long. When he came to my name, Father, the most surprising
thing happened. He started pronouncing it and then he stopped as if he had forgotten
something and just stared and stared at the paper in his hand. I heard my name
repeated three times through his half-closed lips, 'Zita. Zita. Zita.'

You see, “seriousness” becomes disadvantage when because of your seriousness the
students are afraid to talk to you or to recite in the class or to raise their hands, or
to be called by you, because you are strict and not easy to talk to. Again, there must
be balance between seriousness and approachableness. If you are too serious, the
students will be tempted to “cutting classes” or if you are too approachable, you will
not be heard. So learn to balance that. And you know what? I personally believe
that most of the problems in the classroom today come from the teacher himself.
The teacher is the major key in the “learning process;” his “key-ness” is above the
major importance of the student and environment. I personally believe and I have a
theory that it is the teacher who makes suitable environment and responsive
learners.

Now in this scenario, I think what Reteche did here by bowing down his head is a
sign of approachableness and humility. By doing this, his showing to the students
that he is not really arrogant by heart and by countenance, rather he is easy to talk
with, though he’s serious this time.

"'Yes sir, I am Zita.'

"He looked at me uncomprehendingly, inarticulate, and it seemed to me, Father, it

actually seemed that he was begging me to tell him that that was not my name, that I
was deceiving him. He looked so miserable and sick I felt like sinking down or running
away.

"'Zita is not your name; it is just a pet name, no?'

"'My father has always called me that, sir.'

"'It can't be; maybe it is Pacita or Luisa or--'

In this part of the story, we can see the root cause of sadness in the heart of
Reteche, that is, if you have read already the full story. I think this is also the
reason why the title of the story is called “Zita.” I think the author wants us to see
here the intelligence in the “title” of the story, if he was the one who made this title.

We must understand that there are two “Zitas” in this story. The first Zita is
Reteche’s love, and the other one is Reteche’s student. I think the author wants us to
think whose Zita is the emphasis of the story, and whose Zita will reign in the heart
of Reteche someday.

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In this scenario, we can see that Reteche is so surprised about the name of his
student. He can’t believe that the name that he wants to forget will come up in the
list of the students’ paper passed to him. He can’t believe that the very name that
he wants to erase in his mind and heart will show up in that remote area of Anayat
and will become a daily encounter in his life. What a mental torture for the one who
is broken hearted!

Now, about this first Zita, we don’t know the whereabouts of this woman. The
author didn’t gave adequate information about how this woman broke (if she really
did it) the heart of Reteche. We don’t know if this woman is dead or alive. This is
part of the story that does not have details, and I don’t know if the lack of details
about her will be credited to the geniusness of the story, or the author by not giving
information about her was thinking to give thrill or something to think about to the
reader. Well I don’t know, I am not interested, but for me, this lack of detail is
serious because it will lead to an attitude that weakens manhood by showing
sadness or brokenheartedness without reasonable cause.

Who is this Zita then by whom Reteche is so sad enough to death? Why Reteche
can’t move on because of her? Actually, I am tempted to think that Reteche is so
“OA.” Well I know that when you truly in love with someone, and you are “busted”
or your love is refused; I know the hurts it makes in the heart. But to be busted is
not the end of the world or the end of our life. I saw that the world is big, and if you
are refused by one, you will find another one, who may not refuse you.

You see “love” if without control is fatal and it will make you crazy. Love is strong to
mould you either for good or for bad. And in the case of Reteche, we can see that
what Zita did to him (if she did something wrong), in his mind and in his attitude is
seriously enough to make him distressed and emotionally paralyzed. If you will read
the whole story, almost the strength of manhood in Reteche is lost, because of his
crazy love for this girl whom we don’t have enough information about if she’s worthy
of Reteche’s distressed condition. For me, this is an important detail that the author
seriously missed, (for moral reason) because if you don’t give Reteche the right
reason for his distress, then you will make his love too emotional, and without
reasonable cause, if it is worthy of death.

Zita said,

"His voice was scarcely above a whisper, Father, and all the while he looked at me
begging, begging. I shook my head determinedly. My answer must have angered him.
He must have thought I was very hard-headed, for he said, 'A thousand miles, Mother of
Mercy… it is not possible.'

He kept on looking at me; he was hurt perhaps that he should have such a stubborn
pupil. But I am not really so, Father?"

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Again, I think Reteche is acting “O.A” here. What’s the reason? Why seeing the
name of the one who broke your heart makes you crazy? Who is this lady? Who is
this Zita? Why she’s so emotionally and mentally disturbing to Reteche? If you’re
refused to be loved in return by a person, will you just imprison yourself in the
memory of heartaches and rejection? What shallowness!

In the case of Reteche, this is not manhood, this is not healthy, and this is not true
love. You need to let go of the past, and you need to respect the refusal of others,
because if not, you’ll do suicide. Again, I don’t like what the author did, or what the
author forgot in this story. Removing reasonable details about the cause of
Reteche’s broken heart is not good. You’ll make many youngmen today, weak and
irreasonable in their love life. Put reason author!

Again, it is not bad to love truly and passionately. That’s good, and that’s a
“should.” You need to be sad when your love is worthy of your sadness and even of
your death. But, if your love does not have clear reason and cause for you to be sad
or distressed, you need to move on because your love is just an infatuation, it’s a
poison, it’s a misguided emotion.

You see in this story, the author removed the basic characteristic of manhood which
is “strength of soul.” Reteche is so described as an emotional “emo” figure, which is
for me is not a good example or figure for today’s youth. Yes, I think, I’ll respect the
distressed heart of Reteche if I will see that his distress is caused by reasonable and
worthy cause, but I can’t see any reasonable cause in the story for the immature
emotionality.

So now, in this scenario, we can see that “Zita” who is the daughter of Don Eliodoro
is same in name with Reteche’s sweetheart “Zita.” We can see also writing art or
techniques here. The art of coincidence is popularly useful in the minds of a writer,
more on if you’re a “Creative writer.” Through this approach, you can make your
story interesting and mind entertaining.

"Yes, you are, my dear. But you must try to please him, he is a gentleman; he comes
from the city. I was thinking… Private lessons, perhaps, if he won't ask too much." Don
Eliodoro had his dreams and she was his only daughter.

Out of this scenario, Don Eliodoro thougth of an idea, that maybe it would be good
for Reteche to teach “Zita” his daughter how to dance and how to act like a city girl.
Actually, through this idea, the two had been able to be closed with each other.

Also, we can see here that the reason why Don Eliodoro wanted Reteche to teach
Zita is because according to the author, Eliodoro have a dream for his daughter.
Maybe he wants Zita to learn city manners, language, and dressing styles, so that
the time they will go to the city to maybe reside there, she will not have a hard time
in adjusting. Also, I think Eliodoro wants Reteche to court for Zita or for Zita to

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attract or to make Reteche fall in love with her, because according to Eliodoro’s
words, he likes Reteche. And yes, maybe Eliodoro thought that Reteche is a suitable
man for Zita. Unlike with the youngmen in the barrio, Reteche is a gentleman and
respectable and to this man, he can be sure that his daughter will find security and
respect in the society, that is, only if Reteche will recover from his distress due to
unhealed past hurts.

Turong had his own story to tell in the barber shop that night, a story as vividly etched
as the lone coconut palm in front of the shop that shot up straight into the darkness of
the night, as vaguely disturbing as the secrets that the sea whispered into the night.

"He did not sleep a wink, I am sure of it. When I came from the market the stars were
already out and I saw that he had not touched the food I had prepared. I asked him to
eat and he said he was not hungry. He sat by the window that faces the sea and just
looked out hour after hour. I woke up three times during the night and saw that he had
not so much as changed his position. I thought once that he was asleep and came near,
but he motioned me away. When I awoke at dawn to prepare the nets, he was still
there."

"Maybe he wants to go home already." They looked up with concern.

"He is sick. You remember Father Fernando? He had a way of looking like that, into
space, seeing nobody, just before he died."

After Zita’s story, the author switched on to Turong for another story about Reteche.
It is interesting to read that what Turong saw or knew about Reteche is hard for
him to keep secret; he wants to speak about this, he wants to find someone who will
listen to his story about his new friend.

What we can see here is that, “gossip” is not girl thing only, because even men
practice “gossip” with beer on the table and with a macho effect in their tone.

In the case of Reteche, his behavior is teaching us that those who are silent are
oftentimes the center of other’s attention. Maybe, we are just so attracted or curios
about “silence” because we are not familiar about it. We thought that those who are
noisy and energetic are the only ones who call our attention. But no, even the
“emos” of our society are calling out our attention through their “designed” silence.
The “Emos” of today I believe are also longing for attention, they are not loners or
silent because they want to be alone, yes they want to be alone, but in their
aloneness they want carry the attention of the people around them who are curiosed
about their silence. “Emo” attitude is a way to be different, and if you want
different, you basically want also to be heard and seen.

But other than that, I think we Pinoys are just usually friendly and lively, and
maybe by culture we are not used to “emo” type personality like that of the
Japanese, Chinese, and Korean, which we can see in their Anime movies. Our
culture is known for being hospitable, cheerful, and friendly. Actually, the attitude

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of “emo” is not original in our culture, this is foreign attitude, and therefore it is so
unnatural to us; we don’t want others to be serious and sad looking, we Filipinos
basically want others to be happy and warm hearted. We “pansin” everything!

But in the case of Reteche, it seems that the author wants us to see that his sadness
is heavy. The weight of his distress triggers his andrenalin to be able not to eat and
sleep for a day. You see, sadness will make you sick, this is not good for you health.
That’s why the adage is true, “laughter is the best medicine.” Sorrow will make our
bones and muscles crisp and lousy, most especially if one’s sorrow is unreasonable.

Turong as a thoughtful friend and housemate is worried about Reteche. And you
know what? This is what I like in barrio-attitude, they are basically considerate or
thouguthful, but of course, when thoughtulness is extremely applied, it becomes
“gossip.” For example in the barrio, when your friend knew that you have “fallen”
from the Coconut tree, be sure that, that news will sweep the whole barrio, and the
people will want to see you, of course, oftentimes to know if you are okay, if you
need something, or if you’re still alive. You’ll become the “headline” of the news in
the Barrio.

Reteche was looking all night to nothingness at the seashore. This made Turong so
bothered and he thought that maybe Reteche will commit suicide. Actually Turong
woke up three times in the night because he thought Reteche had fall asleep, but to
his amazement, he saw Reteche as if his not moving in his sitting place for a decade.
His just looking to something or to nothing, and Turong thought that Reteche’s
attitude is same with Fernando, a man who commit suicide and who seems to be
carrying the same burden like Reteche. He was worried for his friend, I like it.

Every month there was a letter that came for him, sometimes two or three; large, blue
envelopes with a gold design in the upper left hand corner, and addressed in broad,
angular, sweeping handwriting.

One time Turong brought one of them to him in the classroom. The students were busy
writing a composition on a subject that he had given them, "The Things That I Love
Most."

Carelessly he had opened the letter, carelessly read it, and carelessly tossed it aside.

Zita was all aflutter when the students handed in their work for he had promised that
he would read aloud the best. He went over the pile two times, and once again, absently,
a deep frown on his brow, as if he were displeased with their work. Then he stopped and
picked up one. Her heart sank when she saw that it was not hers, she hardly heard him
reading:

It is interesting to note that every month, there’s a letter delivered for Reteche. The
author did not put in here the details about the source and the “what” of this letter;
he’s just giving us descriptions about the letter, and maybe the purpose of doing so
is to give something to think about. If this letter is a love letter or not, we don’t

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know, but if we will read carefully the reaction of Reteche when he received the
letter, there is a big possibility that this letter is a love letter, in the first place, the
story of Zita is all about love, that is, when love hurts.

It is also interesting that Turong is the one who delivered the letter. This only tells
us that Turong has a special part in Reteche’s life. Maybe he knows more about the
sorrow that crushes the heart of this young man day by day.

Now, it is absurd that when Reteche read the letter, it seems that his not reading it
with much attention. As if when he opened it and looked on it, yes his eyes gazed
upon it, but he’s not thinking about it. The author did not give the details about the
content of the story; again, he wants us to think about this letter, and what’s its
significance in the story. This is a mystery part without details; our minds are
hanged in the air of guessing.

Also in this scenario, we can see that the setting is in the classroom. We don’t know
what level, grade, or year of students that was assigned to Reteche. We don’t know
if his students are elementary, or highschool. But I think maybe “highschool” is in
the mind of the author, of course I said that because there is no “College” in the
barrio. Not also Elementary I guess, because if that’s so, think about it, “Reteche”
teacher, let’s say 21 years old, and then Zita the elementary student let’s say grade
5 or 6, that’s “child abuse,” not fitting for the love story.

In this scenario, we can see that Reteche told his students to do an essay
composition about the “Things that they love most.” He promised that he will read
aloud in front the best composition that he’ll choose. But you see, according to the
author, Reteche didn’t find any good composition to read out of the essays that his
students did. And I think what the author wants us to see here is that, not because
Reteche didn’t find any good composition, but maybe because of his depression, it
seems to be that he becomes killjoy on things that are worth enjoying or worth
loving for. What I mean is this. There’s a lesson here. If a person is depressed, he
doesn’t want to be alone in the feeling of this depression, but he wants other to feel
his depression too. A depressed person is contagious, and so, if your spirit is weak,
you will be pulled into it. Other than that, when a person is depressed, your sight to
things becomes gloomy and pessimistic. For example, the beauty and fragrance of a
flower becomes dry and unattractive. If you are “busted” the “rose” that you gave to
your “crush” will become a memory of pain, because your emotion wasn’t met with
an anticipated love from another. You see, I think the origin of “killjoy” mentality
comes from “depression.” If a person is depressed or his wants wasn’t’ met, accepted,
or recognized, then it becomes easy for him/her to be vulnerable to “killjoy”
mentality.

Now here, Zita did all her best, she poured all her grammatical and creative writing
skills in order to be recognized by his teacher. But to his surprise and

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disappointment, in spite of all her sports as a bright student in the class, yet, her
composition wasn’t chosen, because what Reteche chose is a composition like this.

"I did not know any better. Moths are not supposed to know; they only come to the light.
And the light looked so inviting, there was no resisting it. Moths are not supposed to
know, one does not even know one is a moth until one's wings are burned."

It was incomprehensible, no beginning, no end. It did not have unity, coherence,

emphasis. Why did he choose that one? What did he see in it? And she had worked so
hard, she had wanted to please, she had written about the flowers that she loved most.
Who could have written what he had read aloud? She did not know that any of her
classmates could write so, use such words, sentences, use a blue paper to write her
lessons on.

But then there was little in Mr. Reteche that the young people there could understand.
Even his words were so difficult, just like those dark and dismaying things that they
came across in their readers, which took them hour after hour in the dictionary. She had
learned like a good student to pick out the words she did not recognize, writing them
down as she heard them, but it was a thankless task. She had a whole notebook filled
now, two columns to each page:

Esurient – a greedy
Amaranth – a flower that never fades.
Peacock – a large bird with lovely gold and green feathers.
Mirash – word was not in the dictionary.

And what did such things as original sin, selfishness, insatiable, actress of a thousand
faces mean, and who were Sirse, Lorelay, other names she could not find anywhere? She
meant to ask him someday, someday when his eyes were kinder.

Now first of all, it is obvious that this composition about the “moth” (if this is
composition at all) is a gloomy one. And I think we can guess that the reason why
Reteche chose this is because he can see similar condition of his life from the
“moth.” Maybe his love life is like a moth that is wrecklessly attracted to the fire.
Although he knew that loving will hurt him, but still he wants to try it, because he
is helplessly attracted to it. It doesn’t matter to him if he will be broken hearted by
it, as long as he can release the feeling of loving someone. You see, you’ll get crazy
when you are in love. It doesn’t matter how many rivers and mountains to cross
over, as long as you can come to the one you love, the one who attracts and pulls
your heart.

But on the one hand, I am suspicious of the source of this writing. The author does
not clearly say that the writing comes from the student. What we can read about
this scenario is that Reteche took something, and take note, during that time, he
also received a letter from a mysterious sender. What I mean to say is that, it is
possible that this writing is not from the students themselves but from the blue
letter.

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Now if we will think about the reaction of Zita, for her, the writing that Reteche
read was unfair and unclear. According to Zita, the writing does not have a good
introduction, smooth transition; it’s not a good writing at all. However, in spite of
the poor and dull content of this writing, Reteche decided to read this, and because
of that, Zita became seriously curios about what it means, and what it meant to
Reteche. You see, when you’re in love, when you feel something special for someone,
although that someone has clear flaws, you will not focus on that, rather, what you
want to notice is the thing that he wants to notice.

Now let’s talk about the way how Reteche teach. I think, in this story we can learn
something about teaching. We can see here that for a teacher to become effective in
his teaching, he or she must communicate clearly. The author said that Reteche
oftentimes used deep words that are not yet comprehensible to the students’
learning level. And the fact that the students need to use dictionary when they
listen to Reteche tells us that this teacher is not communicating properly according
to their level. You see, part of the weaknesses of today’s teaching is with regards to
communication and language. Without “clarity” there is no “understanding.” And in
the classroom, the teacher is the key to “Clarity.” It is his/her responsibility. And
speaking of language, because of todays overriding philosophy of globalization, the
English language becomes the dominant language in our nation, it becomes the 2nd
language. But our abnormal interest to this 2nd language made our spirit of
nationalism to deteriorate, and because of that, we have an identity crisis as a
nation, and I tell you this is a real mess.

Also, add to this, another problem that I see in the classroom today is shown in this
scenario. We can see in the story that Zita wanted to come to Reteche, but she can’t
do it, she was hesitant to speak with Reteche, because she was intimidated by his
face. And according to her, she will talk only with Reteche, if the eyes of her teacher
will become gentle. Point teacher is: You cannot build relationship with your
students if they are intimidated to talk with you. You must learn to smile.

He never went to church, but then, that always went with learning and education, did it
not?

One night Bue saw him coming out of the dim doorway. He watched again and the
following night he saw him again. They would not believe it, they must see it with their
own eyes and so they came. He did not go in every night, but he could be seen at the
most unusual hours, sometimes at dusk, sometimes at dawn, once when it was storming
and the lightning etched ragged paths from heaven to earth. Sometimes he stayed for a
few minutes, sometimes he came twice or thrice in one evening.

They reported it to Father Cesareo but it seemed that he already knew. "Let a peaceful
man alone in his prayers." The answer had surprised them.

I laugh when I read this. We can see here that the people are so curiosed about
Reteche night or dawn shift activities. And by the way, why is he going outside in

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the middle of the night where nobody is around? What’s there in the night? Is he a
monster? The fact that there was a man namely “Bue” who became occupied with
Reteche’s behavior tells us that Reteche is the topic of the barrio until this time.
However, in spite of this, Father Cesareo, who is a third priest mentioned in this
story, defended Reteche’s situation by saying, “Why bother this man?” Maybe his
praying or he just want to find a time to be alone with himself and to think things
through in his life. Now this may sound that Reteche is a religious man, but
according to the author, he said that Reteche does not go to church. And for the
barrio people when you don’t go to church it might be because you’re an intellectual
man. That’s because oftentimes, it is thought that going to church is for the poor
only, for the unlearned. But of course, this is weird, but in spite of this weirdness,
we can see lot of men practicing this belief in their daily life. They are ashamed (if
not afraid) to go to church because for them, religion is for the weak minded and for
the poor only. Well, this is garbage idea! Real education and intelligence must lead
you t o the existence of God!

The sky hangs over Anayat, in the middle of the Anayat Sea, like an inverted wineglass,
a glass whose wine had been spilled, a purple wine of which Anayat was the last
precious drop. For that is Anayat in the crepuscule, purple and mellow, sparkling and
warm and effulgent when there is a moon, cool and heady and sensuous when there is
no moon.

Wow, based upon this statement, Anayat is a beautiful place; seems more beautiful
than Boracay. A site like this is a good and romantic dating place.

One may drink of it and forget what lies beyond a thousand miles, beyond a thousand
years; one may sip it at the top of a jagged cliff, nearer peace, nearer God, where one can
see the ocean dashing against the rocks in eternal frustration, more moving, more
terrible than man's; or touch it to his lips in the lush shadows of the dama de noche, its
blossoms iridescent like a thousand fireflies, its bouquet the fragrance of flowers that
know no fading.

The description that author wrote about Anayat’s aerial scenary is very inspiring,
encouraging, and stimulating. I don’t know why the author shifted into this
description, but I think, maybe the reason is to relate the beautiful scenary of
Anayat to Reteche’s privacy during afternoon and the night. Aside from the
safetiness of the place, it seems that the author wants to tell us that the scenary is
good for meditation, for aloneness. And yes I believe, if a person is stress, I think it
would help him to be in a place where there is a beautiful scenary, so that he can
relax from his mental tiredness. This tells us that nature is a gift of God to us. The
nature reveals the goodness and the power of God. And it is not wonder why when
we are alone with nature, it seems that we hear the Nature saying and singing that
God is there, we are not alone, and that we can bring to Him our prayers. And I
think, in the case of Reteche if he just only cried to God during his private times, as
he behold the beauty of nature, I think he will have the strength to move on from
his broken hearted love. But of course, since the author of this story is an

18 | P a g e
unbeliever, not a Christian, but maybe a Catholic, he can appreciate the beauty of
creation, but not the presence and goodness of the Creator, and that’s a mess my
friend, that’s a big mess!

Zita sat by her open window, half asleep, half dreaming. Francisco B. Reteche; what a
name! What could his nickname be. Paking, Frank, Pa… The night lay silent and
expectant, a fairy princess waiting for the whispered words of a lover. She was not a bit
sleepy; already she had counted three stars that had fallen to earth, one almost directly
into that bush of dama de noche at their garden gate, where it had lighted the lamps of
a thousand fireflies. He was not so forbidding now, he spoke less frequently to himself,
more frequently to her; his eyes were still unseeing, but now they rested on her. She
loved to remember those moments she had caught him looking when he thought she did
not know. The knowledge came keenly, bitingly, like the sea breeze at dawn, like the
prick of the rose's thorn, or--yes, like the purple liquid that her father gave the visitors
during pintakasi which made them red and noisy. She had stolen a few drops one day,
because she wanted to know, to taste, and that little sip had made her head whirl.

T his is the bone-tickling part in the story, but sorry I have no time to elaborate this
beautiful part, but this is one of my “likes” in the story. This is about a “lady” who
begins to love, who begins to feel the sweetness and the rosiness of love in her heart.
And you know what, for me, the most beautiful scenary on planet earth is the “in-
love” woman. And I think, women are more sweetly electrified when they are in
love. I think they are the ones who think much, than man. Well I know I am biased,
but let me just to do it this time.

The description of the author about Zita is good, I really like it. And truly it is really
good that our hearts are filled with love. Our surrounding becomes colorful, we see
many stars falling down from the sky, and we see many fireflies around us that give
us joy. Truly this is the time when people say we are “inspired.” And as the author
describes it, when our eyes is fixed to the one we love “The knowledge came keenly,
bitingly, like the sea breeze at dawn, like the prick of the rose's thorn…” I like this, I
really do. You cannot resist the “arrow” of love; it will bite us with “kilig to the
bones” effect. The point is: To love is sweet and delicious. And I think this is also
God’s gift to us, to feel that we are indeed alive, oh very romantic, very exciting, and
very inspiring, only not to be corrupted by lust.

At this point the author tells us the full name of “Reteche” which is “Francisco B.
Reteche.” And to tell you, I can’t accept this, Reteche’s name is same with mine. The
“Kiko” in this story is a “loner.” But this is the humour that I see in the story. If you
love someone, you want to know his/her fullname. And if you got to know his full
name, you begin to search what is his/her nickname. And in the case of Reteche,
what’s good in the nickname “Paking” sounds old and ancient. But you know what,
in the ears and lips of Zita, the nickname “Paking” is a term of endearment. That’s
how love is; it is strong to make you beautiful or handsome in the eyes of your lover.

Also, we can see in this setting that Zita and Reteche had some mutual
understanding. Again the author didn’t put details about what happen, there is no
19 | P a g e
smooth transistion, but the important thing is, they seems to have a mutual feeling
with each other. However, based upon the author’s description, it seems to me that
Zita is the only one described who is so much affected.

Suddenly she stiffened; a shadow had emerged from the shrubs and had been lost in the
other shadows. Her pulses raced, she strained forward. Was she dreaming? Who was it?
A lost soul, an unvoiced thought, the shadow of a shadow, the prince from his tryst with
the fairy princess? What were the words that he whispered to her?

For me, I can’t see if Reteche had come during this sweet daydreaming of Zita.
What I can see here is that, the heartbeat of Zita beats faster and stronger because
as if she sensed the presence of Reteche coming to her.

They who have been young once say that only youth can make youth forget itself; that
life is a river bed; the water passes over it, sometimes it encounters obstacles and cannot
go on, sometimes it flows unencumbered with a song in every bubble and ripple, but
always it goes forward. When its way is obstructed it burrows deeply or swerves aside
and leaves its impression, and whether the impress will be shallow and transient, or
deep and searing, only God determines.

I don’t know if this is what Reteche told to Zita during that moment of sweetness.
The transition is not clear to me. I don’t know who is talking here, to whom it is
addressed, or what is the situation. However, what we can see in the statement is
the nature of life, particularly the life of the youth. Life is compared to a river, it
always goes forward; you cannot hold it back. Life can go forward towards evil or
good, and the the author is telling us that this “river” called “life” is in the hands of
God, and that is true. Actually, I’m still guessing about what’s the connection of this
statement to the whole point of the story. I have some considerations in mind, but I
don’t have time to put it here. It’s about moving forward in life, with consideration
to the Providence of God, but I can see this fact in the attitude of Reteche. He’s not
moving forward in a positive sense.

The people remembered the day when he went up Don Eliodoro's house, the light of a
great decision in his eyes, and finally accepted the father's request that he teach his
daughter "to be a lady."

"We are going to the city soon, after the next harvest perhaps; I want her not to feel like a
'provinciana' when we get there."

Again, there is no smooth transition here. But we can see in here the observation of
the people around Reteche. We don’t know what’s the reason for Reteche’s
hesitation to teach Zita how to dance, how to dress, and how to act like a gracious
city girl. Maybe, Reteche knew the hidden agenda of Eliodoro, and based upon the
people’s interest for him to teach Zita, it seems it likes to imply that the people in
the barrio want this two to become lovers. If this is the case, I like this, because for
me, “Courtship” is a community project.

20 | P a g e
It is not clear from the story if the planned-travel of Zita and his father Eliodoro
would be long term or just for a vacation. But I guess, in their case, maybe they
have a planned in the future to live permanently in the city, considering that they
are rich and maybe they own a house there. Well, the author is silent about this,
and maybe this is not the point of his story. But for me, as an observer, I can add
details for the greater understanding of the story, because I believe, if you can
polish this story, you can make this a very good “Teledrama.” Actually
commentators are needed for making a “story” a good story.

They remembered the time when his walks by the seashore became less solitary, for now
of afternoons, he would draw the whole crowd of village boys from their game of leapfrog
or patintero and bring them with him. And they would go home hours after sunset with
the wonderful things that Mr. Reteche had told them, why the sea is green, the sky blue,
what one who is strong and fearless might find at that exact place where the sky meets
the sea. They would be flushed and happy and bright-eyed, for he could stand on his
head longer than any of them, catch more crabs, send a pebble skimming over the breast
of Anayat Bay farthest.

Again we have a reminiscence here. I am glad to see here that Reteche had already
moved on. Well maybe he just needs time. Time is a good healer of wounded
feelings, though it will not guarantee to remove the scar. Reteche’s emotion is now
calm and his eyes are now cheerful. Again the author didn’t put the reason and the
transistion of what happen. The only thing that we can see here is that, this
Reteche is now somewhat in love with Eliodoro’s daughter. At this juncture, we can
now see Reteche playing with children, enjoying their company, telling jokes, in
other words, he is now happy, the loner man is gone, and maybe the obvious reason
is because he’s “in love.” Joy is the fruit of love.

Now, it is good and manly for a man to love in truth and in loyalty. A two-timer
man is disgusting. Yes, there are men, (young men if you will) who will find
themselves “busted” in their courting. But he must move on and try again. Yes, it is
sad, and it hurts you know, when you are “busted” by your admired girl, but guys,
there are so many woman in the world, and everyday they are always upgraded.
Certainly there’s a woman out there who will love you just the way you are and
when you find that woman, be sure that you will love her with all honesty and
purity.

Turong still remembered those ominous, terrifying nights when he had got up cold and
trembling to listen to the aching groan of the bamboo floor, as somebody in the other
room restlessly paced to and fro. And his pupils still remember those mornings he
received their flowers, the camia which had fainted away at her own fragrance, the
kampupot, with the night dew still trembling in its heart; receive them with a smile and
forget the lessons of the day and tell them all about those princesses and fairies who
dwelt in flowers; why the dama de noche must have the darkness of the night to bring
out its fragrance; how the petals of the ylang-ylang, crushed and soaked in some liquid,
would one day touch the lips of some wondrous creature in some faraway land whose
eyes were blue and hair golden.

21 | P a g e
I don’t know why we read many recollections in this scenario, but this is how the
mind of the author thinks. But in this case, we can learn that Reteche is indeed in
love, and the effect of it is that he became a good story teller. When you’re in love
you have so much stories to tell! And here, the author is telling us that Reteche is
telling stories about “fairy tales.” And you know what, speaking of fairy tales, we
Filipinos have many “fairy tales” to tell based from our culture that if we will just
proudly present to the world, even the West will find it interesting and it will sell. If
we spend excellent budget in the creation of our “fairy tales” and make it a first-rate
and competent 3D movie, I really believe we can go equal with the “Clash of the
Titans” movie. The problem with us today as Filipino is that we lack the spirit of
Nationalism.

Those were days of surprises for Zita. Box after box came in Turong's sailboat and each
time they contained things that took the words from her lips. Silk as sheer and
perishable as gossamer, or heavy and shiny and tinted like the sunset sky; slippers with
bright stones which twinkled with the least movement of her feet; a necklace of green,
flat, polished stone, whose feel against her throat sent a curious choking sensation
there; perfume that she must touch her lips with. If only there would always be such
things in Turong's sailboat, and none of those horrid blue envelopes that he always
brought. And yet--the Virgin have pity on her selfish soul--suppose one day Turong
brought not only those letters but the writer as well? She shuddered, not because she
feared it but because she knew it would be.

In this scenario, we can see Zita surprised, when she saw the cosmetics or beautiful
dresses delivered to her by Turong. I think it is Reteche who suggested or ordered
this stuff for Zita, because maybe he knows more about how to make Zita attractive.
Zita wish that this stuff will make Reteche preoccupied and not the presence of that
“blue letter” that makes the young man out of his mind.

Also, for some unknown reason, Zita somehow felt that just as how Turong
delivered these cosmetic and beautiful clothes, he will also deliver Reteche back to
the city. She feared about it, but somehow expects it to happen. The effect of that
“blue letter” in Reteche must end, and she must do about it, if she wants to maintain
the heart of Reteche in love with her. In a subtle way, if I were Zita, I will certainly
make Turong my accomplice for not letting that “blue letter” to be delivered to
Reteche. The technique is, to defeat your rival, break the connection or sabotage the
connection.

"Why are these dresses so tight fitting?" Her father wanted to know.

"In society, women use clothes to reveal, not to hide." Was that a sneer or a smile in his
eyes? The gown showed her arms and shoulders and she had never known how round
and fair they were, how they could express so many things.

To all the girls, do you think this is true? For me, I think this is true in our time
today. The clothes of many women today are not for the purpose of covering, but for
the purpose of presentation. This is rooted from a lustful idea, that womanhood is

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best known, appreciate, and long for through their sexy body, not their character.
Again, what a mess! And you know what, this story also tells me that the city is
always the center of evil in our country.

"Why do these dresses have such bright colors?" "Because the peacock has bright
feathers."

It seems true that colorful dress fitted to your complexion creates an illusion in the
eyes. Don’t you see it, that when a person, however ugly he/she is, when clothed
with beautiful clothes, and scrubbed with good foundation, somehow the ugliness is
lessen. There’s something in make up, it really makes you up! This is the effective
weapon of women against the men!

"They paint their lips…" "So that they can smile when they do not want to."

Wow, so that’s how it is? Well somehow I see this, when a woman puts lipstick, it
seems that his creating a smile on his face. Somehow there’s this “bloom” effect on
his face.

"And their eyelashes are long." "To hide deception."

Hm, how? Well maybe true, because as someone has said, the eye is the door thru
our emotion.

He was not pleased like her father; she saw it, he had turned his face toward the
window. And as she came nearer, swaying like a lily atop its stalk she heard the harsh,
muttered words:

"One would think she'd feel shy or uncomfortable, but no… oh no… not a bit… all
alike… comes naturally."

You know what, Reteche is so potato head. Why not pleased with Zita’s beautiful
transformation? What a killjoy! I think this is the most disappointing moment for
women. That is, you did all your best, you prepared enough for a certain special
man in your heart, and yet when he comes and he does not even see you, or he does
not appreciate the change that you painfully went through for him, isn’t too
hurting? You must leave this kind of man. And in the case of Zita, what a sad thing
to know that somehow, there is still unsatisfaction in the heart of Reteche. It seems,
he wasn’t moved deeply by Zita’s beautiful transformation. What a mushroom head!
What a mosquitoe attitude! Read the statement of this potato head as he talks to
Zita,

There were books to read; pictures, names to learn; lessons in everything; how to polish
the nails, how to use a fan, even how to walk. How did these days come, how did they
go? What does one do when one is so happy, so breathless? Sometimes they were a
memory, sometimes a dream.

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 "Look, Zita, a society girl does not smile so openly; her eyes don't seek one's so--that
reveals your true feelings."

"But if I am glad and happy and I want to show it?"

"Don't. If you must show it by smiling, let your eyes be mocking; if you would invite with
your eyes, repulse with your lips."

That was a memory.

Now I think this is the reason why Reteche is still unsatisfied, and for me his reply
and attitude here for Zita is so cold, boring, and killjoy. If this is what is meant to be
a city girl, then it’s no good. But of course, in obedeience to Eliodoro’s request, he
needs to mould Zita according to city’s expectation. But I just wonder if this is really
what it means to act like a true lady during time, or maybe Reteche was just
making Zita talk and act according to the manner of his original Zita. Maybe, this is
the true reason why Reteche is not pleased, because this Zita is not acting according
to his admired figure.

In our case today, if this is the idea concerning beauty and womanhood, then, it is
no wonder why hypocrisy is dominant among the ladies of our country today.

She was in a great drawing room whose floor was so polished it reflected the myriad red
and green and blue fights above, the arches of flowers and ribbons and streamers. All
the great names of the capital were there, stately ladies in wonderful gowns who walked
so, waved their fans so, who said one thing with their eyes and another with their lips.
And she was among them and every young and good-looking man wanted to dance with
her. They were all so clever and charming but she answered: "Please, I am tired." For
beyond them she had seen him alone, he whose eyes were dark and brooding and
disapproving and she was waiting for him to take her.

That was a dream. Sometimes though, she could not tell so easily which was the dream
and which the memory.

Wow, when I read this, I felt happy for Reteche and Zita, but to my disappointment,
it was just a dream. However, the point that Zita was unable sometimes to
distinquish what is a dream, memory, and reality, tells us that she was so heavily
in love with this potato head guy. And I guess, since dream comes because of too
much thinking, I guess Zita internalized and felt bad about what Reteche said to
her. And you know what, this is one of sadness of our women today. It’s because we
so lack men who can tell to our women the truth in a caring and sweet way, like
Kenshin Himura. And so boys, we should not let the emotion of our women to be
hurt because we say unguarded and unthoughtful statements about them. We men
may be more logical and practical than women, but we need to deal with them with
care, because their emotion is fragile. So just for example, you don’t like the way a
certain lady dress herself, you can tell her what you see in a caring way, not in a
vulgar and boisterious manner.

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And in the case of Reteche, there is a root reason why he is not happy with Zita.
Think about this scenario,

If only those letters would not bother him now, he might be happy and at peace. True he
never answered them, but every time Turong brought him one, he would still become
thoughtful and distracted. Like that time he was teaching her a dance, a Spanish dance,
he said, and had told her to dress accordingly. Her heavy hair hung in a big, carelessly
tied knot that always threatened to come loose but never did; its dark, deep shadows
showing off in startling vividness how red a rose can be, how like velvet its petals. Her
earrings--two circlets of precious stones, red like the pigeon's blood--almost touched her
shoulders. The heavy Spanish shawl gave her the most trouble--she had nothing to help
her but some pictures and magazines--she could not put it on just as she wanted. Like
this, it revealed her shoulder too much; that way, it hampered the free movement of the
legs. But she had done her best; for hours she had stood before her mirror and for hours
it had told her that she was beautiful, that red lips and tragic eyes were becoming to
her.

Now sink this in your mind my reader, you cannot move on unless you forget the
past, much more if you don’t cut your connection with your past. I think in this
story, Reteche could, he is able to move on forward to his new found love, if he just
cut the connection of his past. But this teacher is foolish enough to think and do
that. He let his emotion and imagination to take over rather than his big brain.You
see, because of his unreasonable sadness, he is continuesly slaved by his past and of
the things of the past. You see, the key to “move on” is to “cut” the communication of
the past. Don’t let your past dictates your present! You need to let go! And you know
what men! When you decided to court a girl and she gave to you her sweet “Yes” you
need to be fair to her. Just in case you have an immature love in the past, you need
to let go of that, and just focus on her, nurturing her by your love. Don’t dwell in
your past love mistakes and hurts, yes you might need to tell her what happened to
you in the past, but still, after that, you need to move on and assured her that she
alone is the only one that matters most to you, not your past. And add to that, don’t
ever, ever compare her with the woman of your past, that’s not good and that’s
unfair. True love is focused to one (not two) in emotion and in mind.

And to our ladies, take note of this, in spite of the many efforts you did so that you’ll
become beautiful in dress, in body, and in manners, still that effort is useless in the
eyes of a two-timer. Every woman then should find a man who has a strong
principle, stick to one, and the emotion is stable when it comes to loving you. Don’t
love a man who will just make you a “Cover up” for the pain of the past.

She'd never forget that look on his face when she came out. It was not surprise, joy,
admiration. It was as if he saw somebody there whom he was expecting, for whom he
had waited, prayed.

"Zita!" It was a cry of recognition.

She blushed even under her rouge when he took her in his arms and taught her to step
this way, glide so, turn about; she looked half questioningly at her father for

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 disapproval, but she saw that there was nothing there but admiration too. Mr. Reteche
seemed so serious and so intent that she should learn quickly; but he did not deceive
her, for once she happened to lean close and she felt how wildly his heart was beating. It
frightened her and she drew away, but when she saw how unconcerned he seemed, as if
he did not even know that she was in his arms, she smiled knowingly and drew close
again. Dreamily she closed her eyes and dimly wondered if his were shut too, whether
he was thinking the same thoughts, breathing the same prayer.

R eteche admired again the beautiful transformation of Zita. But sad to say, this
admiration is not motivated by Zita’s beauty herself, but by the beauty of an
admired woman in the past whom he remembered in the person of Zita. The cry of
recognition “Zita!” is not for Zita the student, but for Zita of the past. Reteche
thought she saw the original Zita that time, but after a moment of realization, his
recognition became dissatisfaction.

Now this is not good. Just imagine you are a girl, and you have done all your best to
dress and look pretty for the one you admired, and then in his heart, what he sees
in you is not you but another woman.

We can also see here the memorable dance in the life of Zita. This is the most
romantic dance and moment in her life as young woman. Yes her feet enjoy the
dance, must most especially her heart; her heart leaps for joy because she is held by
a man whom she loves.

The author tells us that there is also strong heartbeat in Reteche’s heart for Zita.
But again not all “heartbeat” beats for one, because there are two-timers or three-
timers, or 100 timer beats. In case of the double minded Reteche, if his heart is
beating for Zita, it’s because Zita is the name of the one he loves in the past, and
even in the present. He is so crazy for the past Zita and therefore he is crazy man.

Turong came up and after his respectful "Good evening" he handed an envelope to the
school teacher. It was large and blue and had a gold design in one corner; the
handwriting was broad, angular, sweeping.

"Thank you, Turong." His voice was drawling, heavy, the voice of one who has just
awakened. With one movement he tore the unopened envelope slowly, unconsciously, it
seemed to her, to pieces.

"I thought I had forgotten," he murmured dully.

That changed the whole evening. His eyes lost their sparkle, his gaze wandered from
time to time. Something powerful and dark had come between them, something which
shut out the light, brought in a chill. The tears came to her eyes for she felt utterly
powerless. When her sight cleared she saw that he was sitting down and trying to piece
the letter together.

"Why do you tear up a letter if you must put it together again?" rebelliously.

26 | P a g e
 He looked at her kindly. "Someday, Zita, you will do it too, and then you will
understand."

We can see in this scenario the true content of the heart of Reteche. Reteche
thought and experimented that if he can focus his attention to his student Zita, he
will forget the past Zita of his life. Well I guess if he was just determined and
principled as a man, he will certainly forget the past Zita, but because he is so
emotional and gayish in his focus, he can’t forget the past. And to this, I will say
that the depiction of the author concerning Reteche is not a good example and
image for the young men of today. Reteche in the end shows a man who is so
imprisoned by the past. He is coward to cut the unreasonable hurts of the past, and
because of this I will not recommend his attitude as a character in this story as your
role model. Reteche is gay! He is not strong! He is emotionally unstable.

Again if Reteche just cut the bondage and connection of the past in his very
emotional heart, then I think he can move on. But sad to say, he continuously opens
his heart to the letter, to the memories, and to the statements of his past woman. In
the first place, it is not good and fair to love or seek love from another if you are still
bounded by a memory of an emotional attachment in the past; because if you do,
you do harm not only to yourself but to others as well. So I think when Reteche said,
“I thought I had forgotten” I believe his a fool when he said that. How can your
forget the memory of the past if you are so wide open, expectant, and willful to
receive it? This foolish Reteche is deceiving himself. And I think this description of
Arturo about Reteche is a big danger to the manhood of our young men. Reteche is
indeed like a moth, - a fool! The story if you dig deeper on the values and spirit of it,
it is not only about unrequited love, but also contains reasons why most “loves”
today are immature and without determination and direction.

By the way, this scenario is closely and designly connected with the last scenario of
the story. I don’t have a time to explain the connection, and so I just want you to
take note of that.

One day Turong came from Pauambang and this time he brought a stranger. They knew
at once that he came from where the teacher came--his clothes, his features, his
politeness--and that he had come for the teacher. This one did not speak their dialect,
and as he was led through the dusty, crooked streets, he kept forever wiping his face,
gazing at the wobbly, thatched huts and muttering short, vehement phrases to himself.

Zita heard his knock before Mr. Reteche did and she knew what he had come for. She
must have been as pale as her teacher, as shaken, as rebellious. And yet the stranger
was so cordial; there was nothing but gladness in his greeting, gladness at meeting an
old friend. How strong he was; even at that moment he did not forget himself, but
turned to his class and dismissed them for the day.

Now in this scenario, we can see that there was a stranger who came to Anayat.
According to the author, this stranger is a friend of Reteche. His personality is
different from Reteche, because this man is more on showy and self-confident, but
27 | P a g e
he can’t speak the language of the barrio, a disadvantage for a stranger in a foreign
land. But this is not big deal for this man, because he just came here in order to
visit a friend or fetch him.

Now the visitation of this man may tell us that maybe the school year has already
ended and Reteche’s teaching assignment in Anayat is done and of course time to
go. I have a guess that maybe this man is a co-teacher of Reteche in a particular
school in the city. Well, we don’t have details to support this guess, but it doesn’t
matter, because the author gives us full the priviledge in this story to guess a lot.

The door was thick and she did not dare lean against the jamb too much, so sometimes
their voices floated away before they reached her.

"…like children… making yourselves… so unhappy."

"…happiness? Her idea of happiness…"

Mr. Reteche's voice was more low-pitched, hoarse, so that it didn't carry at all. She
shuddered as he laughed, it was that way when he first came.

"She's been… did not mean… understand."

"…learning to forget…"

There were periods when they both became excited and talked fast and hard; she heard
somebody's restless pacing, somebody sitting down heavily.

"I never realized what she meant to me until I began trying to seek from others what
she would not give me."

She knew what was coming now, knew it before the stranger asked the question:

"Tomorrow?"

She fled; she could not wait for the answer.

Now in this scenario, we can again guess that the original Zita who is reigning
majestically in the heart of Reteche might be the one who left or was the one left by
Reteche. Well both sides can lead us to a different conclusion and reason for
Reteche’s cry baby attitude in the story. The author did not give us sufficient detail
about the original Zita and Reteche’s connection with her, and so it’s really hard for
us to conclude about them. But if we will base on the choppy statements that the
student Zita heard from Reteche and his friend, we can again guess that maybe
Reteche was the one who left the original Zita. And if this is true, then all of my
comment from the very beginning will change, but one thing for sure, I will
definitely crush down Reteche’s character to the dust of criticism. This statement
from this scenario is very interesting to observe, Reteche said, "I never realized

28 | P a g e
what she meant to me until I began trying to seek from others what she would not
give me." Who is he talking about here? The original Zita? If it is, then this is the
key to the problem in the story, and I know now the answer, but I need another
commentary.

On the other hand, it seems that the author is also telling us that the reason why
Reteche left original Zita is because there’s something wrong with this girl’s GMRC
(Good manners and right conduct). Again if this is the case, my comments from the
very beginning will change, and I will certainly focus my comments to the mistakes
and weaknesses of the original Zita. But of course, I don’t have time and effort to do
this, and so I leave that guessing to you.

So maybe, the reason why Reteche went to Anayat was to forget this girl, either to
prove that he loves her still in spite of who she is, or maybe she went to Anayat to
forget the hurts that this girl gave him when she left him. Now, sorry for these
meandering comments, but this is what happen when you think much of the story.
There are other details or guessing actually that I want put or share here, but time
and interest hinder me to do it.

Now, maybe the original Zita who might left Reteche was maybe so disturbed by
what happen to Reteche and so maybe she sent this man, this friend of Reteche to
Anayat, so that through him she can clarify things or deliver a message that will
settle things between Reteche and her.

Now, about Zita the student, she wasn’t able to hear all the complete details from
the conversation between the two. But for her, she felt that this conversation will
lead to near departure of the one whom she loves – Reteche, her teacher.

He did not sleep that night, she knew he did not, she told herself fiercely. And it was not
only his preparations that kept him awake, she knew it, she knew it. With the first
flicker of light she ran to her mirror. She must not show her feeling, it was not in good
form, she must manage somehow. If her lips quivered, her eyes must smile, if in her
eyes there were tears… She heard her father go out, but she did not go; although she
knew his purpose, she had more important things to do. Little boys came up to the house
and she wiped away their tears and told them that he was coming back, coming back,
soon, soon.

In this scenario, it seems that Reteche is inside the house of Eliodoro, and I have a
guess that it started when he decided to teach Zita how to dance, that is when both
of them have a mutual feeling. Both Reteche and Zita were unable to sleep well that
night. In the case of Reteche, maybe he was thinking about his near departure, Zita
his student, and the original Zita.

In the case of Zita the student, she was unable to sleep because maybe of the reason
that Reteche will now go. And yes, this is true and very uncomfortable to
experience. The feeling of being left alone is hard, more so when you know that you

29 | P a g e
might not be able to see each other again. This is hard, especially for ladies who is
so in love. This is pain. But in this case, it is good to see that Zita was able to
practice what Reteche taught her. In this difficult situation of her life where it’s
hard to control the tears to flow from your eyes, she must still try her best to
maintain her composure and so “If her lips quivered, her eyes must smile.”

The minutes flew, she was almost done now; her lips were red and her eyebrows
penciled; the crimson shawl thrown over her shoulders just right. Everything must be
like that day he had first seen her in a Spanish dress. Still he did not come, he must be
bidding farewell now to Father Cesareo; now he was in Doña Ramona's house; now he
was shaking the barber's hand. He would soon be through and come to her house. She
glanced at the mirror and decided that her lips were not red enough; she put on more
color. The rose in her hair had too long a stem; she tried to trim it with her fingers and a
thorn dug deeply into her flesh.

Reteche bid “good byes” to many. And while doing so, while not yet going into Zita’s
house; Zita gave all her best to prepare herself for Reteche’s goodbye. This
preparation is the most important one. She made it sure that she wears the best
dress and her make up is perfect. She must look like the day when Reteche held her
hand and danced with her. And I guess the reason why Zita did all this
beautification is maybe because she wants to attract Reteche again, so that this
young man will not go. Maybe Zita thought her beauty can prevent the man from
going, and so she tried all her best to make herself beautiful and irresistible for
every man to behold. She applied all the techniques that she learned from her
teacher. And speaking of women, I think it is natural to them to attract for
attention, not because they lack attention but because it’s their nature to call the
men’s attention. This is teaching us then that the solution for a girl who does not
know how to dress herself beautifully is to let her fall in love. Love makes a girl
beautiful. And second, if you want a girl to become beautiful, don’t pay attention to
her. How? Why? That’s because by nature women wants attention; they long to be
noticed even by an ugly one. And so for example an ugly man does not give
attention to a woman, that woman may think that she is not that beautiful enough
to be noticed, and so she will do her best to beautify herself because if an ugly is not
attracted to her, how much more the handsome ones.

Who knows? Perhaps they would soon meet again in the city; she wondered if she could
not wheedle her father into going earlier. But she must know now what were the words he
had wanted to whisper that night under the dama de noche, what he had wanted to say
that day he held her in his arms; other things, questions whose answers she knew. She
smiled. How well she knew them!

Ah, so this is the reason of her glorious cosmetical preparation. She wants to know
what’s really inside Reteche’s heart. She wants to know what this young man
wanted to say during the romantic night where Reteche held her hand. But will the
situation go according to Zita’s preparation and plan?

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 The big house was silent as death; the little village seemed deserted, everybody had
gone to the seashore. Again she looked at the mirror. She was too pale, she must put on
more rouge. She tried to keep from counting the minutes, the seconds, from getting up
and pacing. But she was getting chilly and she must do it to keep warm.

The cemetery like silence in the house of Zita is an exact picture for what is inside
her heart. She tried her best to deny what will really going to happen. She still
hopes for good turn over of things. She wants to stop Reteche’s departure, but she is
afraid to show her full emotion because the time is not yet ripe for the confession,
but what can she do?

In spite of her obvious beauty and irresistible attractiveness, the sadness in Zita’s
heart is also obvious in her gentle face. This is teaching us that we cannot cover up
sadness with expensive and beautiful clothes. If the heart is sad, beautiful clothes
fades from the scenario of attention easily. You see, what makes a person blooming
is not his/her clothes or her make-up, but first of all the condition of the heart which
is soaked in love. That’s why when we see a person, who might not have beautiful
clothes and make-up, but he/she is enthusiastic and happy, we can easily say that
he or she is “blooming.” So what makes you blooming is not your “form” but your
attitude, or the content of your heart. If your heart is “in-love” blooming is “natural.”
If your attitude is right, your form will be right.

The steps creaked. She bit her lips to stifle a wild cry there. The door opened.

"Turong!"

In this scenario Zita thought that the one who goes upstairs is Reteche, the one for
whom she makes all her preparation. But to his sad disappointment, the man that
she expects didn’t come. Oh….poor Zita.

"Mr. Reteche bade me give you this. He said you would understand."

Now, I tell you this is painful, this is heart-crushing. Reteche didn’t come, only his
letter. What a sad scenario, and it’s hard for me to comment here. I think this is the
most core part in the story. This is the emotional part of the story, the climax of
hurt and disappointed anticipation.

I think Reteche was not able to face Zita, maybe because if he did, he might not be
able to leave the barrio. Maybe, he already feels something for the young lady, and
he’s just controlling it. Or maybe he just don’t want to see Zita, because the lady
was so developed or in love with him, and so seeing her and bid goodbye will just
worsen the heartaches and hurts of the young lady. Maybe he does not want it to
happen to Zita, the feeling of being left by the one you love.

In one bound she had reached the open window. But dimly, for the sun was too bright, or
was her sight failing?--she saw a blur of white moving out to sea, then disappearing

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 behind a point of land so that she could no longer follow it; and then, clearly against a
horizon suddenly drawn out of perspective, "Mr. Reteche," tall, lean, brooding, looking at
her with eyes that told her somebody had hurt him. It was like that when he first came,
and now he was gone.

The tears came freely now. What matter, what matter? There was nobody to see and
criticize her breeding. They came down unchecked and when she tried to brush them off
with her hand, the color came away too from her cheeks, leaving them bloodless, cold.
Sometimes they got into her mouth and they tasted bitter.

Her hands worked convulsively; there was a sound of tearing paper, once, twice. She
became suddenly aware of what she had done when she looked at the pieces, wet and
brightly stained with uneven streaks of red. Slowly, painfully, she tried to put the pieces
together and as she did so a sob escaped deep from her breast--a great understanding
had come to her.

Again, this is the sad part of the story, but also the part of the story which I could
say the most beautiful part also. The description is very good and the author left
something for his readers to think about. Actually, if my observation is right and if
I’m not exaggerating, the skill of the author is revealed here. That’s because your
disgustment to know what the author wants to say and mean in this story is
triggered by the authors undetailed way of telling what will exactly happen in the
story. It makes your mind hang in air of guessing. My point is: the author is leaving
us positive or negative side for the fitting ending of the story. He wants you to think
what your ending for the story, and yes I think this is where the geniusness (if I can
say that) of the author is revealed. And you know what, when you observe most of
the films of today, you will also see this technique at the end of the story.

And at this particular ending scenario in the story of Zita, we can see here how
Zita’s heart was so penetrated with deep pain and sorrow. Now, she can’t stop the
pain the makes her heart bleed with blood of tremendous sorrow. This is indeed
pain, especially for a tender woman to experience. What an agony! She wants to cry
hard and loud, but it seems that she can’t make it this time, because there is still
this shockness that delays her eyes and nervous system to painfully cry out, but
when the shock is gone, then, she…cried.

Oh very emotional, this part made me to lose my appetite to eat my chocolate.

Zita really loves Reteche. But it seems that they have the right love at the wrong
time. Or maybe, she has a right love for a wrong man. The man is unstable! But I
give applause to Arturo for making this kind of heartbreaking story of unrequited
love.

It is a beautiful and meaningful ending to see how Zita tears softly, slowly, and
seems unconsciously the letter of Reteche. Now she knows what it means and what
it feels when she asked Reteche during their dance night,

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 "Why do you tear up a letter if you must put it together again?"

Reteche replied,

"Someday, Zita, you will do it too, and then you will understand."

And yes, Zita understands it now clearly but painfully. She now fully understands
the true feeling of Reteche, the feeling maybe of being crushed down, left, and
unloved, and indeed she truly understands now that… love hurts!

Truly, the author gave us a good and dramatic description for the ending of the
story to the point that I can’t comment because of its dramatic beauty. I think, the
author wants us to think that the ending scenario is not the end. It seems to me
that he gave us freedom to continue the story either in a negative or positive way.
And so for you, what do you want to happen as a continuation for this crushing
ending? What do you want as a continuation for the story? Will Reteche and Zita see
each other again in the city? Will they cross path, so that their love will see them
through? What about the original Zita, what will happen to her and Reteche when
they see each other again? Will she say sorry to Reteche? Or will she fall in love
again with Reteche? About Reteche, whose Zita will he choose? Whose Zita will win
his heart?

Well, I think the battle for the hearts begin. Wait for the Sequel “Zitas battle for
Reteche’s heart.”

Who will be the next Arturo Rotor? Let’s wait and see!

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URL for front page picture:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/neumeyer/415749959/sizes/z/in/photostream/

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