English 1023- Advanced Technical Communication

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SPECIFIC PROBLEMS OF STYLE IN TECHNICAL WRITING

1. CLARITY – (clearness, lucidity, simplicity)

- enables the readers to understand what the information means to convey.

The following guidelines should be kept in mind:

A. Use specific and concrete words. (any statement which can have many different meanings need to be
made specific)

B. use of appropriate verbs.

Eg. Weak linking verb: The institution is considering the adoption of the Department of Education
Values and Education Program.
Strong Action verb: The institution will consider the adoption of the Department of Education Values
and Education Program.

C. use of active, instead of the passive voice:

Active: College students do not appreciate the relevance of the sales letter to their present life.
Passive: The relevance of the sales letter to their present life is not appreciated by college students.

D. standard expressions and technical jargons

- the following should be avoided in technical writing:

D1. Clichés are trite (stale, worn) expressions which are overused; worn out expressions
Eg.
last but not least at this point in time anticipating your reply
first and foremost in this day and age are of the opinion
as per as regard at the present
along this line at hand as of this writing
after all that is said and done all in all at all times
at the earliest possible time by and large in all cases
by force of circumstances enclosed please find each and every
enclosed herewith for your information first and foremost
for the purpose of for your files herewith
hereby advised heartfelt gratitude I take pleasure
in the not too distant future I regret to state I note with pleasure
permit me to say in due time in reference to
I have before me in terms of in the amount of
In the final analysis in the near future it goes without saying
In this connection in due time I remain
Large number of let me point out may I suggest
Majority of need no introduction permit us to remind you
make inquiries regarding please Be informed please rest assured
pleasure of a reply regarding the matter regret to inform
self-made man thank you, I remain take into consideration
thanking you in advance take pleasure in without further delay
your kind indulgence your valued patronage
your letter of recent date

OVERWORKED WORDS and PHRASES

Preferred Words Not Preferred Preferred Words Not Preferred

Begin initiate before prior to

Pay compensation
Fire conflagration consider give consideration to

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True veracious conflicts comes in conflict w/
Wordy verbose now/currently at this point in time
Total aggregate because/since for the reason that

Question interrogate despite in spite of

Find out ascertain Appropriate fitting, suitable
Try endeavor investigate study
Assist help subsequent later, after
Cognizant authority proper authority transmit send
Consider think communicate tell
Discontinue stop Endeavor try

D2. Colloquialisms- informal expressions that are acceptable in informal communication, personal notes, letters,
but not in formal technical documents:

Examples:

 Fuss (argument); mad (furious); wise (intelligent); chum (friend); hanky (handkerchief); tummy (stomach)
 Wanna; gonna; ain’t I; ain’t got none; gotcha, etc.
 Contractions (I’m, haven’t, you’re, we’re, they’ll, I’ll, she’s, etc.)
 Abbreviations (ffng. Eg. Pls. )

D3. Slang expressions will not receive much respect from technical readers: (highly colloquial words; idioms)
Eg.
Pull himself together chap beef up
Shell out hoot “the hell out of”
Hass (house) broke (without money) bum steer
Bum (vagabond) something to crow about apple of the eyes

D4. technical jargons- specialized vocabulary of a profession or a particular group of workers.

Eg.
Ceiling (limit)
Call out (refer to, specify)
Breadboard (preliminary model of a circuit)
Optimize (put in the best possible working order)
State-of-the-art (present knowledge)
Trigger (start, begin)
Know-how (knowledge, experience)
Analgesics (pain relievers)

2. CONCISENESS – briefness, shortness, terseness; succinctness

- Wordiness (every word counts); saves time and increases forcefulness of writing
RULE: select short and simple sentences; reduce wordy phrases; omit needless words.

Eg.  Please repeat the sentence again. (5 words)

 Please repeat the sentence. (4 words)

 You will like the new style and will be very much pleased with it (14 words)
 You will be very much pleased with the new style.(10 words)

 Accidents due to excessive speed often end fatally for those involved (11 words)
 Accidents due to excessive speed often end fatally (8 words)

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Avoid the following:

with reference to (about)

prior to (before)
give consideration to (consider)
comes in conflict w/ ( conflicts)
in spite of (despite)
for the reason that (because)
at this point in time (now/currently)

3. COHERENCE – smooth flow of ideas

A. Transitional words – prepare readers for the next point or change in direction.

To indicate To add To contrast To compare To indicate To indicate To conclude

Time cause space
Finally In addition However; Similarly Because Beyond On the whole
Before Furthermore On the other In the same For that reason Behind To summarize
After Also; and; hand; way Since Forward In conclusion;
Soon Not only but In comparison Due to the fact In front of In summary;
But; yet;
Eventually; also; In the same that hence;
In contrast;
meanwhile; likewise; manner
while;
thereafter moreover;
however;
similarly; in
nevertheless;
like manner;
on the
contrary;

To show To show To show

consequence choice sequence
So, thus, Or, nor, Next, finally,
consequently, neither-nor, first, second,
as a result; either-or; third…etc.
accordingly; else;
for this otherwise
reason;

4. CONVENTIONS OF STANDARD ENGLISH

Common sentence errors as sentence fragments, comma splice, and run-on (fused) sentences should be avoided in
technical writing.

A. Fragment- a part of a sentence written as a complete sentence. It fails to be a sentence in the sense that it cannot
stand by itself. It does not contain even one independent clause. There are several reasons why a group of
words may seem to act like a sentence but not have enough parts to make it as a complete thought.

A. It may locate something in time and place with a prepositional phrase or a series of such phrases, but it’s still
lacking a proper subject-verb relationship within an independent clause.

Example: After helping the victim, about announcing her credentials..

B. It describes something, but there is no subject-verb relationship.

Example: Working far into the night in an effort to save the patient.

C. It may have most of the makings of a sentence but still be missing an important part of a verb string.

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Example: Some of the nursing students working in Professor Espinosa’s laboratory last semester.

D. It may even have a subject-verb relationship, but it has been subordinated to another idea by a dependent word
and so cannot stand by itself.

Example: Even though he had the better credentials and was by far the more qualified for the position in that
Medical Center.

2. Comma splice -occurs when two independent clauses are connected by only a comma. A comma alone is not
sufficient punctuation to end a complete thought.

Five ways of correcting a comma splice:

a. By using a period to write two sentences when the two clauses are not related.
b. By using a coma, followed by a coordinating conjunction to join the two independent clauses.
c. By using a semi-colon between the clauses in place of the comma and the coordinating conjunction when a degree
of separation seems necessary to the clarity of both clauses.
d. By subordinating the lesser clause to the main clause.
e. By using a semi-colon followed by the proper transitional devise.

3. Run on or fused sentences- occurs when two independent clauses have no punctuation and no coordinating
conjunction between them. With no separation, the clauses blur into each other. A fused
sentence confuses and annoys the reader more than the comma splice.

Run-on sentences happen typically under the following circumstances:

A. When two independent clauses are connected by a transitional expression (conjunctive adverb) such as however,
moreover, nevertheless.

Example: Mr. Lacson has sent his four children to ivy-league colleges however he has sacrificed his health working
day and night in that dusty bakery.
Revised: Mr. Lacson has sent his four children to ivy-league colleges; however, he has sacrificed his health
working day and night in that dusty bakery.
B. When the second of two independent clauses contains a pronoun that connects it to the first independent clause.

Example: This apparatus doesn’t make sense to me it came without a manual.

Revised: This apparatus doesn’t make sense to me. It came without a manual.

4. Misplaced Modifiers. Misplaced words and phrases can be avoided by a careful writer. One of the rules of correct
grammar usage is “Place a modifier as near as possible to word it modifies. ” This rule applies to
all adjectives, adjective phrases, and adjective clauses. It should also apply to adverbs, adverbial
phrases, and adverbial clauses. Adverbs, however, are more flexible than adjectives.
The position of such words as only, almost, just, merely, even, not only-but also, neither-or, both-and in a
sentence can alter meanings. Using them correctly is important.
Example: They found out that there was an Ebola outbreak on the late evening news.
Revision: They found out on the late evening news that there was an Ebola outbreak.

5. Dangling Modifiers. Dangling modifiers such as dangling verbals are not acceptable in technical writing, not only
because they mislead or confuse the readers, but also because they are errors in grammar
usage.

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Dangling modifiers occur when the modifier has no word to modify at all.

In the following examples, dangling gerunds, participles, and infinitives are illustrated, then a correct version of each
sentence is given.

Dangling Gerund: By applying first aid and giving necessary treatment under the guidance of a company physician,
the victim’s life was saved.

Revised: By applying first aid and giving necessary treatment under the guidance of a company physician,
the nurse saved the life of the victim.

Dangling Participle: Having completed her rounds, the information concerning the progress of the project was
submitted to the project engineer.

Revised: Having completed her fieldwork , Engr. Chua was able to gather the information concerning the
progress of the project.

Dangling Infinitive: To apply a tourniquet to the arm, the stick must be tied with the loose ends of the tourniquet or
with a strip of cloth.
Revised: To apply a tourniquet to the arm, the health care worker must tie in place the stick with the loose
ends of the tourniquet or with a strip of cloth.

6. Faulty Parallelism. This is the result of unorganized thinking or carelessness, occurs in words, phrases or clauses
written in a series or in itemized lists.

To achieve effective parallelism, two or more words, phrases, or clauses that are equally important should have
balanced, equal construction in sentence. When you fail to observe this rule, you commit faulty parallelism, an error in
sentence structure that cause awkwardness and disharmony.

Example: Many experiments have shown that smoking can cause cancer of the mouth, larynx, esophagus, pancreas,
and lung cancer maybe produced.

Revised: Many experiments have shown that smoking can cause cancer of the mouth, larynx, esophagus, pancreas,
and lungs.

How To Secure Effective Parallelism:

1. Express parallel sentence elements in the same grammatical form.

Eg. Roger enjoys swimming and hiking (both gerunds)
Little children want to be loved and to be noticed (both infinitives)
Gem is young and beautiful (both adjectives)
Raul is a man who is brilliant and who has integrity (both dependent clauses)

2. The elements may not be parallel in form but the functions may be. This parallelism is acceptable if it avoids
artificiality.

Eg. Nestor saw Juan, Julio, and a man he had never met before.

3. Sentence elements following correlative conjunctions should have parallel structure.

Eg. Jesus Christ was not only the Son of man, but also the Son of God.
A writer usually writes about something that he has experienced either directly or indirectly.
The people in the farm earn their living either by farming or by weaving.

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4. Be sure that elements named in series are parallel.

Eg. The Ilocanos are thrifty, hard working, and honest.

5. Repeat subordinating conjunctions, auxiliaries, prepositions, and the sign of infinitive to whenever it is necessary
to make the parallelism clear.

Eg. Mina’s father told her that she should have her own allowance and that she could spend it on whatever
she wanted.

Mayon volcano is often visited by tourists who want to see its perfect cone and by painters who try to
capture its beauty on canvass.

EXCEPTIONS:

1. When the verbs stand together and the auxiliary of the first verb can be used with the second, the auxiliary does
not have to be repeated.
Eg. The students should listen to the speaker and take down notes.

2. When the object of the preposition stand close together, repetition of the preposition is not necessary

Eg. Roy keeps trim by exercising and dieting.

3. When the infinitives are close to each other, to need not be repeated.

Eg. He loves to dance and sing.

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